Someone asked me to post this as a separate post so here it is:
We need to train kids AND adults to notice Red Flags. These are both for pedophiles and for just…really shitty relationships:
People who want to monopolize your time
People who get jealous or insist you stop talking to others
People who are very invasive and ignore your discomfort
People who don’t take you seriously when you say “STOP”
People who demand things of you such as pictures or personal information
People who try to pull ultimatums like “if you loved me” “everyone is doing it” “I’ll kill myself if you don’t”
Giving gifts with expectations attached.
Treating you like you’re special.
Emphasis on keeping shit a secret. They want privacy but they often push YOUR boundaries and invade YOUR privacy.
Blackmail like “I’ll leak nudes of you” “I’ll tell people what you do or like” “I’ll kill myself if you leave me”etc.
Whining. This sounds weird but whining is a thing I see a lot and often these are people that aren’t targeting people for their age specifically. They’re targeting people because they are available and the person wants sex or sexual activity.
Sex education itself isn’t grooming BUT there are pedophiles that see it as an opening for such. It’s good to educate yourself or ask a trusted source because that way YOU know better if someone approaches you about it.
Being overly sympathetic or on your side can be a sign because it’s a way the person gets in with you and shows you they can be trusted.
Some of these things are going to sound like things you might have seen friends do. But there are differences. A lot of my friends give gifts to one another, none of them expect shit in return. My friends are sympathetic but they’re not also trying to get me to send them nudes and shit. The reason these things look similar is because pedophiles and manipulators establish themselves as people that can be trusted, they seek to make you feel special so that they have cover under which to abuse. The same thing happens with serial killers. People always say they’re good people or seem like nice people but, of course, they weren’t.
Be safe, be aware. And I will say, you can and will find good people out there that you can trust BUT be mindful and watchful for people that show these markers especially if they show several of them.
Another thing to note here is that some of this stuff, especially the first half, can be symptoms of mental illness. That does NOT excuse the behavior. But if you know that someone has mental illness and exhibits these symptoms encourage them to get help and help them find resources to combat these kinds of activities because it’s bad for them and for their relationships.
