Queen of Booty

hi hi hi I'm Queen Bouty all the feels . check out my blog eraticqueen for some quality shitpost and feministQueenbouty for my 2 scents on feminism. Check ya later alligator

[queenbouty-blog]

I don't know what is wrong with me this week but my mental health is just blowing up lately, like what is going on. I feel like I'm suffocating constantly this week. Everything is overwhelming and I cant stand it, it was amazing I was able to drag myself to work every shift (but one) this week. I am physically ill it is so bad. I don't even know what it is exactly. I guess I could be burnt out. This week my ex and his gf came to my workplace and that was very distressing. On top of that finding out he's about to be a father is just. Like he's so fucked up it astounds me. And just every possible fucking thing that there is for me to be upset about is bothering me this week. Like my brain needs to come tf down there is no reason to get so knotted up over half this shit. Idk. Ranting and rambling I guess. Just not okay this week. I hope I'm better soon, I actually quite enjoy being a functioning human being.

[queenbouty-blog]

Don't you just love it when people assume you call in to work willy nilly, like you're not ~really~ sick. She wasnt complaining about anything last night so I'm sure she's actually fine today. It's not like she was throwing up. Well let me tell you, anxiety is a thing and it sucks and it's not something you can always see physically. I'm sorry you can't physically see how my stomach feels like it's holding boiling water and how my lungs are just two bricks. I'm sorry you can't hear my thoughts aloud as I wonder if I am actually dying or maybe I need to go the hospital. It makes me feel so damn guilty and hated everytime I have to take a sick day, you always make sure I know you're angry in such passive aggressive ways. Why can't you just communicate with me? Hey, wanna trade places? Cause I wish I could be at work feeling fine instead of hiding in my bed like it's my damn life raft, avoiding the people I live with because they are all thinking the same thing. "She's not really sick, she's making excuses". And I get it, I am an adult now and it's irrisponsible to be missing work too often. But try telling that to my anxiety. It doesn't make it go away, it's not a rational thing, it can't be helped. I have worked so hard just to get to a healthy enough state of mind to be able to work full time hours and live away from home. But it's with me forever so yes, unfortunately there will still be bad days like these. How can you tell me you understand and then make me feel like shit when the bad day comes.

[youknowyouareasurvivorwhen]

when people tell you the abuse didn't count because your abuser was mentally ill

[youknowyouareasurvivorwhen]

When your mother yells at you because you can't express emotions like other ppl anymore and she prods and prods and then when she finds out youre still having flashbacks of what he did she acts surprised, like she thought somehow you're fine now

[youknowyouareasurvivorwhen]

When you feel guilty for leaving your siblings with them when you move

[youknowyouareasurvivorwhen]

You say "I'm sorry" too much and ask permission for things that don't need to be asked because you're used to him getting angry at you over nothing and hurting you for not asking..

[queenbouty-blog]

Hit home a little too hard.

[queenbouty-blog]

After everything I went through for five years, I can't not be a feminist. After everything I was put through, I will absolutely fight for women, for men, for equality. I don't give a fuck what you believe, you have to respect that. You're either sexist or a regular person.

[queenbouty-blog]

Literally in so much pain rn, but can't leave work. Wish I hadn't eaten.

[queenbouty-blog]

Get ready boyfriend! The PMS is hitting hard this time. I hope you have patience <3 ;)

[queenbouty-blog]

Ever start thinking about shit that happened years ago and start getting mad? But it's too late to do anything about it or change it any way. Yeah, it's one of those days, I guess.

[queenbouty-blog]

I don't know what's up with me lately, but it needs to stop. Pretty dissapointed in myself. It's times like these I have to try my hardest not to pull away, and continue life as well as I have been the past few months.

[queenbouty-blog]

Health Goals!

Alright, so I've obviously gained weight. But I don't mind. I don't want to loose weight but I would like to gain more muscle mass. And I really just want to look and feel healthier overall. SO -Walk more 😑 -Bike more 😊 -Stretch daily! 🙌 -Use an arm band instead of weights. 💪 -More squats and sit-ups😥 -Drink lots more water!! 💧 -Start drinking coconut water 😏 -Eat more almonds (not covered in chocolate) 😆 - Eat what I want, but choose whole foods over fast foods and junk more often! 👍

[queenbouty-blog]

My grandpa walks and sits down on the floor next to my grandma's chair. I tell him "grandpa, ou can sit on the couch with us if you like; we'll make room!" "Oh, no, thank you dear. I wanna sit next to my girl!"- referring to my grandma. My grandma goes "oh, thank you love!" Goals. <3

[queenbouty-blog]

Repeat after me Kenzie. NO AMOUNT OF FOOD CAN FIX HOW SHITTY YOU FEEL. You happen to like your current physique, let's not go changing too soon.

[queenbouty-blog]

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[thelovejournals]

If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one.

Brandon Stanton, Humans of New York  (via thelovejournals)

[strayastoner]