kier

she/they my fics! recovering english major, practicing children’s librarian. not even a remotely chill person but i do a good impression of one.

[ilyapasta]

Shane “do it scared, but do it” Hollander. We forget to put respect on his name. Shane applying an achievement mentally to everything he does. Shane saying, fine, I’ll fucking do it:

Go to Tampa, get his man ✅

Show his man that he cares ✅

Get man to his luxury wilderness getaway, ply him with burgers and beer and kicking around a soccer ball and video games and honestly and tenderness and solitude ✅

Make plan to keep man forever, AND preserve their fucking lives and careers ✅

Look at parents and says “no actually he fucks me good and I love him, no more lies, and also we’re all gonna be a family now I’m done with compartmentalizing” ✅

Win another fucking Stanley cup using latent adrenaline and serotonin from landing hottest baddie in the NHL ✅

Propose marriage like a boss: candles, ring, forgot second ring but who cares, carpet frottage, sincerity ✅

“I choose him. Come on, Ilya.” ✅✅✅✅✅✅

[mymansmoon]

shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane is soooooo strict

no motorcycle (i will be so mad if you crash and die)

no pilots license (i will be very mad if you fly into a mountain and die)

no smoking (i will never forgive you if you get lung cancer and die)

no fast cars (i will be so mad if you die in a high-speed crash)

go to the dermatologist (i will be so mad if you get skin cancer and die)

ilya is rolling his eyes but he’s giddy af and everytime ilya gets a clean bill of health from the team doctor he shows shane, “happy?” “happiest”

[isisisak]

@tinylilhollander

[peachyjude]

“we just want a future, i don’t know” is so crazy when you think about it. like this is shane who’s never let his wants or desires be known. he keeps them so close to his chest, never lets anyone see them, much less his parents, but then he falls in love with ilya. and now that he knows ilya feels the same he’s trying to figure it out and he’s trying to make it all fit into the lives they have but it’s still so terrifying for him, the path ahead so amorphous and uncertain. he’s trying not to make waves or demand things, and he doesn’t wanna be paraded all over the mlh as this gay icon. but he’s certain he wants ilya. he wants ilya when he wakes up in the morning and he wants ilya when he comes home and he wants their shirts to brush shoulders in the closet and their toothbrushes to sit beside each other on the sink and he wants their worlds to come together, for the tapestries of their lives to become so interwoven you’d find traces of the other everywhere. a future, a forever, with the only person he’s ever been in love with. and is that so much to ask?

[kerryweaverlesbian]

What if the Truman show did a queerbait arc

[kerryweaverlesbian]

What if the Truman show did a queerbait arc but then they found out Truman was gay for real and had to recalibrate and their tv network would have to take a definitive stance on homosexuality, yay or nay in the late 90s and it's not like they can recast Truman. They would have to either plot him into an it's okay to be gay fake happy relationship like they did with his tv wife or try and scare him off homosexuality by doing homophobic gay misery storylines at him to try and keep him firmly in the closet.

[i-want-a-bagel]

adding my favorite tags by @clarafordahwin

[lizardsister]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

[beatlesweatles]

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

[beatlesweatles]

[anxeious]

[blanklier]

still thinking about the doctor in pencil in the rest who's actually like a chill and fun guy and it turns out shane has only known him as a serious, sort of repressed man because he's made him only deliver bad news for years. what a fucking bleak, hilarious bit of character work. immaculate

[cowboyhudsons]

TK STRAND WEEK          Day 7 + Wild card/creator’s choice

[timcurrysbooty]

[carlottagiudicellivevo]

[takiki16]

NO FEAR.  The actors who played Long John Silver and Captain Flint in Black Sails FULLY ACKOWLEDGE that the Muppet adaptation was the best

(source)

[saint-batrick]

[alder-knight]

hi i hope i get to be the one to break this news on Tumblr, because

I am reading Tim Curry’s 2025 memoir, Vagabond

and in it, he not only devotes a chapter to Muppet Treasure Island, but also references this very post

so, to recap

no, Tim Curry is absolutely NOT a Muppet; however

yes, he and Miss Piggy ABSOLUTELY fucked

[steakplissken]

I need non-Americans to know some of the funnier parts of our history, like the fact that during our civil war, a farmer got so fed up with the first real battle of two armies meeting taking place on his fields and near his home that he moved his family to a much more tranquil area of the country...only for the Union and Confederacy to show up and ask to use his house to negotiate terms of surrender

Like you can't make that shit up. It sounds like a skit from Forrest Gump

[batman-soup]

Ilya is convinced that Hayden is secretly in love with Shane because once he heard them arguing and Hayden said “put those brown eyes away Hollander I can’t talk to you like that” and ilya was just like 🤨🤨🤨

[khaleesiofalicante]

Oh, their brotp is everything to me 🥹

[tryingmybestst]

one of my favorite things about shane is how bitchy and judgy he is and how he doesn’t even realize it. he says things to ilya like what he thinks about the names jade ruby and amber and ilya laughs looks at him realizes he wasn’t being catty on purpose and tells him “my love that was really fucking funny and really fucking mean” immediately shane doesn’t understand wdym it was mean???

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[jesse-is-spiralling]

[fractally]

When it comes to dom/sub I do think Ilya is a pretty down the line switch like he really likes Shane throwing him around. It's not that he only doms because Shane likes it, he sincerely enjoys it. But I think he also enjoys being stepped on a little. I feel like this is weirdly controversial, like the idea that if Ilya enjoys *any* subby behavior he's suddenly not "really domming" when he's more in charge of their sex, it's a really odd conversation