nope

Yeah im a slut, but I do it in Givenchy. Tim, 21, musician, coffee, and so much drag

[digivolvin]

men in greek mythology? scoundrels. just terrible. woeful social skills. murderers. kidnappers. violent misogynists. most of them… never described as handsome so we have to assume they were ugly. 

narcissus? unproblematic. beacon of transformative self love. king of the swerve. gay icon. couldn’t recognize his reflection but neither can my dog, we aren’t holding that against him.

[asgardian-viking]

Narcissus wrote this

[queer-af]

I am alone

I’m alone but I don’t know why. I’m tired of being alone. It’s hard work. I’m tired of feeling like I take up too much space, that I’m too queer, too big, too femme, too loud, too anything. Too gay.

I’ve never made it past the first date with anyone. Every time has been the same, we talk for a while, weeks even, and then we meet for a drink or brunch or just coffee. And then I never hear back from them again. Or if I do it’s a two word response to my expressions of enjoying the time we’d just shared. “Me too” is the most common. They never message back after that.

It’s a weird cycle of self hatred that follows. First it’s, “well they don’t know what they’re missing out on, I’m a great catch”, and slowly but surely develops into “I’m disgusting and unloveable, you can’t even look at yourself in a mirror without being ashamed”. Then a week or even a fortnight of eating nothing and going to the gym every day, sweating so much that I might pass out from dehydration. Someone might be interested now, I’m not perfect but I’m a work in progress, surely that counts for something.

It doesn’t.

And then we start again.

I don’t know why I feel alone. It’s like this innate feeling that slowly consumes everything that I am. It starts out as a bad day. Then a bad week. A really bad week of anxiety. Then it doesn’t leave. The overwhelming sense that there isn’t anything out there for me, that no one wants to be around or with me.

I feel like I should come with a disclaimer; “warning: chubby but working on it, may have anxiety, may need attention, may need compassion, may need time to come out of shell”, like a series of warnings letting everyone know that they should leave me on the shelf and pick up the slightly less damaged person next to me.

I’m alone. I’m not okay with it. I’m not coping. But I’m trying. One day someone will understand, but up until now, these experiences have left me even more secluded and scared. Scared that I’ll never have someone to hold hands with, or to make breakfast for, or to surprise with flowers at work. I’m so alone I’m scared, and I’m scared that I’m alone.

[queer-af]

I really really really want a boy to hug, like more than anything I want to just hug someone and drink wine

[pftones3482]

Had a mom come into work tonight while I was closing out the cosmetics counter at work. She looked a little lost, so I asked if she needed help, and she pointed to all of our perfume gift packages (holiday special whatnot) and asked if I could help her pick some out for her two kids.

I say sure, ask the age range, and go from there, asking if there’s anything she wants in particular (shopping for two tweens, one 11 and the other 12).

She hesitates and goes “just…something pretty. and feminine”

And I’m like “lol wanna make them feel like princesses, I see!”

And she just lowers her voice, like she’s scared I’m going to say something rude, and goes, “My 11 year old just started transitioning, and I want her to feel pretty.”

Just about made up for the rest of my shitty night. Kudos to you, mom. You’re doing good.

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

ATTENTION: I’m gay and need attention

[colealexmain]

not to be gay but I want to kiss a boy

[afterdearest]

[cashonlydreams]

I’M HOWLING!

[maraud0rks]

[velouric]

[idontlikedicktionaries]

REBLOG IF YOURE VERY GAY AND IN NEED OF VERY GAY FRIENDS

[100493503004422]

I love drunk me but I don’t trust her

[donewithblue]

This is Spagary. He’s fat so we get to play with him until he tires out. 11/10 would adopt

[vauxhallandi]

it’s 2016, callout culture has gone on for more than long enough now, let it die, it’s time

[transmoondane-deactivated202501]

callout for this post wtf is “callout culture”

[vauxhallandi]

callout culture is falling out with someone and digging through their archive to compile a list of things they said five years ago to turn total strangers against them

callout culture is reblogging a callout post for a total stranger made by a total stranger out of a misplaced sense of moral righteousness

callout culture is overusing the word ‘problematic’ to the point where saying something out of ignorance thirty years ago is placed on the same level as assaulting children

callout culture is expecting people to disclose deeply personal information pertaining to their mental health, experience of abuse and other incredibly sensitive subjects before engaging in a discussion with total strangers

callout culture is bombarding people with accusatory messages as soon as a celebrity or tv show they like fucks up, as if it was their fault or they can do anything about it and as if it’s possible for anyone or anything to be perfect enough to be deemed worthy of fandom by those standards

callout culture is refusing to give people room to fuck up and then grow and learn and to acknowledge that people and media mean a lot to people for an enormous variety of reasons and expecting people to be able to (and to want to) just cut all emotional ties they have with something or someone when they fuck up is unreasonable and unrealistic

callout culture is claiming to stand for social justice, but driving young teenagers to the point of suicide because maintaining a sense of ideological purity is seen as preferable to remembering that we all used to be ignorant on various issues and educating those who just didn’t know any better

[gaypornpicsandgifs]

[transcan]

RADICAL 🤘 MAGICAL ✨ LIBERAL 🆓ART 🎨 GENDER IS A CONSTRUCT 🚫👫🚫TEAR IT APART🖕WEARABLE 👕ART 🎨AND TERRIBLE ART 👎🎨 THIS MOTHERFUCKING WORLD 🌎 IS UNBEARABLE 😩 ART 🎨THIS ART 🎨 THIS IS FOR US 👨‍🎨👩‍🎨 DON’T NEED A MUSEUM 🏢🖼 THIS CLUB 🎉IS ENOUGH FOR REVOLUTION ✊️WITH THE BEST INTENTIONS 🤝BEAUTY 👩WITH A TWIST ➰👱OR SOME INTERVENTIONS 💖 YES MA’AM I’LL TAKE THAT DOLLAR 💵 DOESN’T EVEN MATTER I’M A FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR 👩‍🎓 I’D RATHER BE MODEST, BUT I NEED TO SHOW IT 😎 THERE’S A LOT OF PRETTY GIRLS 💁💁 BUT A QUEEN 👸👑BETTER KNOW SHIT 📚📝 FEMMES 👯,REBELS👨‍🎤👩‍🎤 MEDDLE WITH GENDER 🚻 REALNESS 💯BORES ME 😴 I’M A BETTER PRETENDER 🎭 BROOKLYN 🗽WITCHES REVOLUTIONARY, COME UP WITH A READ 👓THAT’S 👏BETTER👏 THAN👏 HAIRY👏

[goldtemplates]

“Gender is a construct, tear it apart. “

[genderdraganduni]

wild and untamed thing

The Rocky Horror Picture Show holds a very special place in my heart. In terms of not only exposing me to, but also allowing me to fulfill my own raw sexual and performative desires, but also in simply being able to be myself, RHPS has had the biggest impact on my life , bar none. The film brings out these raw desires. Some of them are simple, like a desire to wear a corset, heels, and feather boa, and just feel fucking sexy. Some of them are built on my desire to not dream it, but be it. And some of them, are honestly just built on me wanting to give myself over to pleasure. No other film, book, piece of music or play, has had an impact like that in my life.

The first time I encountered RHPS in terms of it actually having an impact on my life, was when I saw Glee have an episode in their second series in which they perform songs from the play. That episode came out in 2010, so I would have been 13 at the time. As it was Glee, a lot of what makes RHPS, the RHPS, was left out. However, one thing I remember from that episode was seeing Science Fiction, Double Feature being performed for the first time. That really stuck with me. I don’t know if it was the lips, or the song itself, or the dripping blood in the opening titles. But something about that song really resonated with me. I still can’t really put my finger on why it does, despite the fact it’s my favorite song from the movie. Maybe it’s the whole, “I wanna go-oh oh” bit, who knows. But either way, it’s a song I adore. Both the up beat stage version, and the slower film version. I love lip syncing to it in my room. I’d love to play the Usherette in a stage show of RHPS. I hope that’ll happen someday.

The next time I remember encountering the film in a larger sense, was when I was 16 or so. Me and two of my best friends had a shared love of the film. They had seen it more times than I had, but from what I had seen of the film (which, admittedly, was mostly just Sweet Transvestite and Science Fiction, Double Feature), I loved it just the same. Watching it when I was older though was different, as a lot of things had changed. Firstly, at the time, I was out as bisexual. While I now identify as pan, from around 2011-2016, I was out as bi. Which was a huge difference, as when I saw snippets of the film, and it’s cover in Glee, that was pre-my acceptance of my sexuality, and pre-my sexual awakening. Also, watching it when I was 16, was after me starting to be honest with myself about my gender identity, and what I enjoy. Even in things as simple as makeup. While I didn’t actually wear makeup properly until I was 18 and at university, seeing the film once I was honest with myself about wanting to take a sledgehammer to gender roles made me see it in an entirely different way. I didn’t see Frank N’Furter as just a camp character. I saw them as *me*. I really do relate to them. I wanted to be them. 

I think that viewing of the RHPS, in my best friends’ living room, was probably one of the most important evenings of my life in terms of sexual awakenings. I didn’t see the songs as just songs. I didn’t see the characters as just characters. I really saw myself in that film. I wanted Frank N’Furters lipstick and eye makeup. I wanted to wear a corset and heels, with a big feather boa, and have sex in a swimming pool with a group of people. I wanted to be like Janet Weiss, and just feel released - and let out all of my pent up sexual frustrations. I really wanted all of those things. For the first time, I realized what I wanted. I realized my deeply suppressed desires. I realized how badly I just wanted to be fucked. I realized how badly I wanted to dress a certain way. I realized just how provocative these things could be, and I loved it. The Rocky Horror Picture Show made me realize what I wanted in a way nothing, or nobody else has ever done before. Deep down, when you take away everything I am out of necessity, I’m just a kinky, transgressive, corset loving, makeup obsessed, freak. And I fucking love that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, why am I even talking about the RHPS in the first place? Well, I always wanted to talk about what I’ve just mentioned with you guys, as the film has clearly had such a prolific impact on my life. But the time felt right now. Last night, I had a new experience with the film. Up until last night, I’d only seen the film in two settings - watching it on my own in my room, and watching it with my best friends on occasion. However, last night, my cherry was popped. I went to a midnight screening of the film, with audience participation, and a shadow cast performing on a stage in front of the film. And it was the fucking best night of my life.

I’ve never been in an environment like that, where I truly felt like I belonged. Even LGBT+ activities can be divisive on the grounds of what your sexuality or gender identity is. But not RHPS. Everyone was in that theater for one common reason - to go fucking wild while we watched our favorite film. There was no divisiveness. No open disagreement as to who we loved most, or hated most. Everyone called Janet a slut, and everyone called Brad an ass hole. Everyone shouted at the cues, and stood up and did the time warp with one another. Everyone threw toilet paper at each other, and thew cards in the air. In some way or another, everyone was dressed up. Whether people were just wearing some over the top makeup, or a full on costume. It was the most fucking incredible atmosphere I’ve ever experienced. 

What stuck out for me most about last night was the person playing Frank N’Furter. I’d never seen someone with so much confidence, or someone who exuded sexuality like that. They seemed just, so genuinely happy. So in love as to what they were doing. It was almost like watching me, euphorically lip syncing to Sweet Transvestite in my bedroom, but in a packed theatre. Where everyone is in love, and encouraging you. Where nobody would care if they jumped on you, and dry humped you, and played with you during their lip syncing. It was an incredible sight. And it made me realize exactly what I want to do. It made me realize who I am, and what I want to be. It bought me back to one of my favorite songs in the film, which says the following, and says it all about how I felt last night, and really, how I’ve felt for a long time;

Whatever happened to Fay Wray? That delicate satin draped frame As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same…

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh Erotic nightmares beyond any measure And sensual daydreams to treasure forever Can’t you just see it?

Don’t dream it - be it.

all my love, stay beautiful, and stay safe,

Violet. xo