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YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosimo Galluzzi
One Nice Bug Per Day
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
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Claire Keane
Fai_Ryy
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
Keni
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pixel skylines
JVL
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć
PR's Tumblrdome
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@queerandsober
Nope. Dear self: donāt fall for this. Feel your thoughts. Let them come to you, feel themā¦ and then let them go.
You *can* turn off your feelings with booze and drugsā¦ but youāll have to face the consequences that will arise.
Today is the first day in weeks that Iāve felt fully alive and present andā¦ functional.
Monday Morning. Two Days Sober.
It's Monday morning.
My coffee is warm but my toes are a bit cold, but that's OK because I'm sober (mostly). Last night's weed is making me a bit groggy, but I haven't had a drink since Saturday night.
It felt really good to wake up this morning and wash a few dishes while I waited for the water to boil. While the coffee cooled, I tidied up the living room a little bit. Taking care of the things I've neglected for months. I'm chipping away at the backlog and that feels amazing.
It's the little things in the early days of sobriety, when you feel like you have to re-learn how to be a human. Maybe that's a better name for this blog: How to Be a Human.
Yesterday was the six-month mark since your passing, and I ācelebratedā by going to my first ārealā A.A. meeting. Itās now or never.
After you died, I fell off the wagon, and I fell HARD. I need help getting sober, and I need accountability.
Last nightās group was warm, friendly, funny, and real. I canāt wait to go back.
I've been bingeing "Euphoria" and...
February is almost over.
It came and went in a flash, or, rather, I should say it came and went in a haze. A haze of smoke.
While I've been sober from alcohol since November, I've been deep in a self-destructive weed hole, trying my absolute hardest to be as stoned as possible as often as possible at any and all opportunities, even blowing off work and friends to get high.
I can't function. I'm constantly "hungover" from my binges. My apartment is a disaster because I haven't cleaned in weeks. My car is 5,000 miles overdue for an oil change because I just can't seem to get my shit together enough to care about much of anything except getting high.
I need to get clean. Again.
Iām tired
Tired of being an addict.
Tired of going through life like the Karate Kid, constantly ready to fight for my sobriety.
Tired of having to make a conscious decision not to use substancesā¦ every single day of my life.
Tired of the monotony and sheer boredom that come with sobriety.
Tired of how unfair it all feels.
Tired of feeling āotheredā yet again.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of seeing.
Tired of being.
Iām tired.
Work booze
My team sent me wine so we can have a virtual wine and charcuterie tasting this weekā¦
Now I have to break the news that I donāt drink and would prefer not to get alcoholic gifts in the future. š« Enforcing boundaries is hard! Now to figure out how to sound chill in communicating thisā¦
Sometimes āIām not availableā means āIām not mentally/emotionally availableā instead of āIām not physically availableā which is ok! Both of those are equally important.
This is SO goddamned true. Iāve really let my freak flag fly, and itās an incredible feeling to know that I can be a crazy shitposter even without the booze. Itās so liberating!
I said no
I said ānoā to hanging out with all of my best friends today because they wanted to go wine tasting. Even though I knew they needed a DD, I also knew that it would be hard for me to sit there with them and really be present in the moment. It would have been too tempting, and then I probably would have spent some time moping around because I felt left out.
Iāve been wine tasting a few times before, and it was fun, but spending an *entire* day with people who are drinking? Thatās when it gets to be too much to handle.
Iām proud of myself for prioritizing my own needs (and my mental health) today.
