Catradora + A kiss for each year alive.
Adora jumped, looking away from the window. Catra cut a sharp silhouette with the light from the hall behind her, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and tail flicking.
Adora took a moment to drink in the way the dark suit fell against Catra’s body. She’d seen her in a suit before. A few times, now. But she never stopped enjoying it.
After a moment, Catra shifted away, crossing the unused bedroom towards Adora.
“You slipped away,” she murmured, stopping a few feet away from the window seat Adora had draped herself into. She tilted her head, giving her a considering look. “It’s been a while. Thought I’d come find you before Sparkles got it in her head to.”
“Thanks,” Adora said, shooting her the best smile she could muster. “Just got a little overwhelmed.”
Even from this far away, tucked in a disused hall in the far end of the castle, Adora could hear the distant call of thumping music and shouting voices.
Catra quirked a grin. “Ragers not really your thing?”
A small laugh pulled from her chest. “Not really.”
The grin dropped as Catra continued to look at her. Self-consciously, Adora wiped away her fallen tears.
“If you want, I can go back and tell them you got too drunk and I had to take you to bed.”
“What,” Adora asked, bottom lip trembling traitorously, “I’m not allowed to bail on my birthday?”
Catra blew out a dramatic sigh, considering, as she leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Well … I’ll allow it.” She shot Adora a sly look. “With some convincing.”
“Now, Glimmer, on the other hand …” Catra shook her head, ignoring Adora’s comment. “I’m not sure we can go at that straight on. There may need to be a heist of some sort involved.”
“Oh, a heist. You’ve always loved a good heist.”
“Ignoble. Dramatic. Classy. Roguish. What’s not to love?” She smirked briefly, but the expression soon found its way back to concerned. Her tail flicked behind her, smooth then sharp, smooth then sharp. “The offer stands, though,” she continued, dropping her voice, “if you want me to tell them you’re not coming back.”
Adora pulled a breath through her nose, her eyes going blurry with tears. She bit her tongue against them, and they didn’t fall. Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug.
Catra was quiet for a long few moments. Then, she lifted her foot to tap against the base of the window seat.
Adora swallowed. She wiped at her eyes, teeth still held fast around her tongue, but she did scoot over until there was room.
Catra sat opposite her, her legs stretching out parallel to Adora’s. She turned for a while to look out the window, up at the stars that peppered the dark sky. When Adora didn’t speak, merely watched with her, Catra finally dropped her hand to Adora’s leg and squeezed.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“No,” Adora quickly responded.
Catra clicked her tongue. “See, that wasn’t supposed to be your answer. You’re supposed to reward me for being so considerate by telling me what’s going on.”
She knew it was a joke, even if a half-hearted one. It was meant to be funny, teasing at worst. Still, Adora couldn’t help the bitter words that drew out of her.
“Well, life doesn’t always go how you expect.”
Catra’s brows furrowed. She watched her steadily, then blew out a breath.
“Well, that’s maybe something to unpack.”
Adora shook her head, arms wrapping around her stomach. “It’s stupid. Forget I said anything.”
Catra’s foot knocked against her side.
“Is this about your birthday?”
“No, I’m just sitting in a guest room crying by myself and staring at the stars and it’s not related to the fact that all of my friends and loved ones are celebrating my birthday downstairs.”
Catra hummed. “That makes sense. It was stupid I thought they were related. Well, if there is anything bothering you, you’re just going to have to come out and say it, because clearly, I can’t put it together by myself. I haven’t reached the ‘Adora mind-reading powers’ level of my therapy sessions yet. Those come with powers, right? That’s why I’m doing those?”
Adora huffed a laugh, wiping away some of her tears. “I’m sorry. I’m being such an ass.”
“A bit. Not a pretty look on you, princess.”
Adora laughed again, letting her head fall against the window. Her expression dropped, and she reached up to wipe her face again.
“So, are you actually going to tell me what’s wrong? Or are we just going to sit here looking gloomy for the rest of the night?”
Adora shrugged, her gaze turning back out the window. “It’s nothing. It’s not even worth it.”
Catra’s lips quirked as she smoothed over the red skin of Adora’s leg with her thumb.
“Every time you say something real dumb, you get pinched. You want to try again?”
“You can’t have learned that from Perfuma.”
“Oh, absolutely not. This would horrify her. Unfortunately for you, Perfuma is drunk off her ass and was making out with Scorpia, last I checked. Which means it’s just you and me.” Her thumb circled again, with just a bit of nail, this time. “So, you want to try that again?”
Adora shook her head, a hint of a smile on her lips. “Dick.”
Adora swallowed, her eyes falling closed. The glass was cool against the side of her head, grounding her. She circled her arms around herself tighter, chin dimpling as she tried to say what needed to be said.
“Do you ever feel like …” Her throat tightened, and she had to take a breath before she could continue. “Do you ever feel like- like maybe, you’re just … not supposed to be here?”
Catra was quiet for a moment, but her thumb continued to stroke irritated skin.
“Pretty often,” she admitted softly. “It’s better, now. But … this castle. These friends. Roaming space and spreading magic. It’s not how I thought my life would turn out.”
Adora felt her throat go hot as tears trickled down her cheeks.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then?”
“Do you ever—” An inhale—quick, wet. “-feel like you not supposed to be here? Like, at all. Like, just—” Her hands rose and waved in the air, a short slice.
“I’m 21 today.” Her eyes finally opened, and even through the wet, she could see Catra’s quiet worry. “And I really never thought that- I didn’t think I would make it this far. I really- I never- And now what? Now I’m- I’m here, and … what for? What’s the- the purpose of me now? The war is over, everyone’s safe, there’s no more fight, and I’m just … still …” She shrugged. “Here.”
She blinked, and the held tears escaped from her eyes. She could see, clearly now, that Catra’s eyes had flooded with their own.
“Why would you be anywhere else?”
Adora sighed, a short breath through her nose. She looked down, eyebrows scrunching.
“I just … I didn’t plan for this. I never accounted for … just … I don’t know. This. Just living, like this, and everything that means. I never … I don’t know what to do with that.”
“Do you—” Catra shifted, not looking at her. “-wish that you weren’t? Here, still.”
“I didn’t—” Adora shook her head, wiping under her eyes. “I didn’t say that.”
Catra sighed, leaning her head against the wall behind her. “Okay.”
“I’m not … Today just brought up a lot of weird feelings, that’s all. I’m just a little confused. I’m not going to do anything.”
Catra nodded, staring at the cross of Adora’s arms over her stomach.
“It wasn’t …” Catra had to stop, clearing her throat. “It wasn’t about the fighting all the time, right? I know we were raised with the war, but … There were a lot of times in there where … where you were just Adora. And those times were just as important.”
Adora’s stomach twisted. She moved her head in a nod. “Yeah. But it’s … hard to remember that, sometimes.”
“Well. Maybe you need a reminder.”
She stared at Catra as mismatched eyes slid to hers. Catra waited two heartbeats, four, before she began to move. She curled forward and crawled into Adora’s lap, staring down at her as she settled heavily onto Adora’s legs. Adora stared up at her, brows furrowed.
Catra’s hands rose, settling on each of her cheeks. Her thumbs stroked the tears away as she leaned, ever so slowly, to place a kiss against Adora’s lips.
Their lips met again, warm and slow. Adora uncrossed her arms to rest her hands on Catra’s thighs.
Catra pulled back, but didn’t go far. “Two.”
Another kiss, chaste, gone before Adora could question it. “Three.”
This time, Adora kept her mouth shut.
“Four,” Catra said. “The year we met.”
Adora was quiet, looking up at her as Catra slowly stroked across her cheekbones.
“You gave me a name,” Catra breathed, voice wet. “I might’ve had one, before, but even I don’t remember it. It’s … It’s the kind of name a four-year-old would give someone, but you were the only one who bothered to. And despite everything, it stuck.”
Catra leaned in and kissed her.
“Five. I said my first word. You were so excited, you ran around telling everyone. But when Octavia asked you what it was, you wouldn’t say, because you didn’t want to get in trouble.”
Adora hiccupped a laugh, tears spilling. “You picked it up from the older cadets. Only you’d have a swear as your first word.”
A kiss. “Six. You told me a joke when I was sick, and I laughed so hard I threw up.”
“I don’t even remember what it was,” Adora admitted. “It was probably really dumb.”
A kiss, pressed against the corner of her mouth.
“Seven. We played our first prank on Kyle. We put tape in the bottom of his shoes, and he couldn’t get them off.”
A kiss against her wet cheek.
“Eight. We got in our first fight. A real one. I felt like the world was ending.”
Adora swallowed. “Me too.”
A kiss against her forehead.
“Nine. We found a stash of Shadow Weaver’s wine while we were on kitchen duty, and it was the most disgusting thing we’d ever tasted. We swore we’d never touch it again as long as we lived.”
Against her closed eyelid.
“Ten. Lonnie tried to kiss you, and I punched her in the mouth. You got mad at me, but afterwards you told me you didn’t understand the whole kissing thing anyway.”
“It sounded gross,” Adora said, laughing at the irony.
A kiss on the bridge of her nose.
“Eleven. We decided we were going to stay together forever, no matter what.”
Adora’s face fell. She reached a hand up and wrapped her fingers around Catra’s wrist.
Catra knocked their noses together. She let their foreheads meet as she let out a breath.
Then, another kiss, gentle, against her lips.
“Twelve. We stayed up all night talking. Rogelio asked you if you liked boys, and you told him you didn’t know. But, that night, you told me you knew the answer. I never slept in my own bunk after that.”
Adora blinked her eyes open. “That’s when you decided to sleep in mine?”
She squeezed Catra’s wrist as she leaned forward and kissed her.
“Thirteen,” Adora said. “Shadow Weaver got mad at me and you yelled at her in front of everyone.”
“Fourteen,” she said. “You broke your wrist trying to do a flip.”
Two kisses in quick succession.
“Fifteen,” Adora said, “we found out what ‘I love you’ meant. Sixteen, we said it for the first time.” A kiss. “Seventeen. I learned how to drive a skiff and immediately crashed it.”
Catra chuckled. “The first thing you weren’t instantly good at.”
“Eighteen.” Adora swallowed. “I … found the sword.”
Catra hummed, shaking her head. “Eighteen. You found Bow and Glimmer.”
“Right. Eighteen … I befriended Bow and Glimmer.”
Catra hummed against her lips as she kissed her, but when she pulled away, she didn’t speak.
“Nineteen,” Adora whispered. “I, um … I got drunk and made out with Huntara a little bit.”
A breathy chuckle pulled from Catra’s chest. “Should I be jealous?”
“No,” Adora said. She leaned forward and let their lips meet, and for a long time, she didn’t pull away. Catra was heavy against her legs, and Adora still had a hand wrapped around her wrist. She moved her other hand up to slip inside of Catra’s suit jacket, resting on her waist. Her fingers clenched against the silky material of her button-up, and Catra’s chest rumbled in a purr.
Finally, she pulled away. Catra took a breath.
Adora looked up at her through her lashes. She didn’t know how she’d gotten here, how she’d gotten so lucky.
“Twenty,” she said, leaning into the hand against her cheek. “We found each other.”
A smile pulled at the corner of Catra’s lips. “Yeah. We did.”
Adora let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, relishing in the warmth of Catra’s hands against her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You forgot one,” Catra whispered back. Her weight shifted as she leaned forward to place a kiss, soft and reverent, against Adora’s forehead. She pulled back, letting their heads rest together. “Twenty-one. You’re safe, surrounded by and celebrated by the people who love you most in the world. You have a whole life ahead of you, filled with endless possibilities, and endless people ready to support you on whatever path you take. You have two best friends who, while idiots, always have your best at heart. And you have a girlfriend who would do anything at all just to see you smile. You have a good head on your shoulders, the body of a goddess, and enough ambition to fill this whole castle and then some. You have all the possibilities in the world, Adora. And now you get to choose.”
Adora took a moment to sit and breathe. Catra wiped each tear away as it fell.
“Do I have to choose today?”
“Not today,” Catra murmured. “Today, you get to celebrate with your friends, eat as much cake as you can stomach, and try not to trip over your own feet in front of all our guests. Oh, but you have to pretend to like all your presents. I asked around. Most of them are pretty bad.”
Adora huffed a laugh, opening her eyes to stare at the softly squinting mismatched set looking back.
“Hey.” Catra tilted her head with just a hint of a smile. “You know you’re gonna be okay, right?”
Adora watched her. Her own mouth was beginning to climb upwards at the ends.She wasn’t even able to help it.
“Yeah,” she said. “I do.”
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