i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
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@queercowboi
i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
for the uninitiated
clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in
when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voiceĀ āi dont think anybody is condemned to hellā¦.ā paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added onĀ āā¦not even gay peopleāĀ
Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read Iāve ever been given in my life
unfortunately i can never hate on a "power of friendship" narrative no matter how corny because the thing is it's literally real
just so weāre clear if youāve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly donāt know how itās possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person iāve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know youāre thinking to yourself ātah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?ā I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like āoh my GOD.ā just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. iāve never experienced anything like it. theyāre just so bad
If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.
Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????
cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already
Your friendās unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife
i also want to read this guyās dead wife
i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny
I miss when ads were a single click and then theyāre gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesnāt even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.
I hate advertising. I hate that you canāt do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that thereās nothing I can do about it.
Wh-what do you mean itās from a birthday cake
We could have been eating him
Two men on a mission, united in purpose.
I find it very offensive that the more unwell you are, the more things you have to do to maintain your health. Things like following special diets, going to medical appointments, making big and important decisions about what treatments to use. At the same time, the more unwell you are the less energy you have to do all of these extra things. It seems grossly unfair.
kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning⦠like yes iām always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc
āi also choose this guyās dead wifeā was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.
you can know the punchline but you canāt stop it from punching you.
i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.