Luther: Here’s Number Two, Diego. He’s quite the fiesty one in the family, always playing with his little knives and such. Him and I don’t have the best relationship but I really think that someday we cou-
Diego: What the fuck are you looking at you ugly face ass bitch, no face ass, ugly face ass, no money face ass, thirty pound face ass, fucke-
Luther: Moving on! Now we meet Number Three, Allison. My personal favorite in the family, if I do say so myself. She just has so much talent and just has that ‘OMPH’ quality!
Luther: Here is Number Four, Klaus. He’s…well…I don’t really know about him. He’s kinda a junkie um…and likes boys anddd….wearing Allison’s clothes but I think that’s it.
Klaus: *suffering from major PTSD* please help m-
Luther: Now onto Number Five! He’s a shorty of the family so he’s just *baby voice* a cutie ball of rage. *Normal voice* I mean, he could easily kill all of us with a gun or whatever but at the same time, he would have to beg Diego to release him if he were put into a noogie so \_[:0]_/
Five: *Frightened* how…how did you say that last part out…loud
Tessa smiles softly as Five approaches her, and because he doesn’t smile, he smirks. “Hey.” She says, looking him up and down. “So, would you rather the tour first— or um, dinner?” She asks, not as confident as her greeting. Five shrugs, and forces his hands into his pockets. “It’s up to you. I mean, I could eat.” And so that settles it. Five knows that most fifteen year old boys aren’t heirs to a billion dollar fortune, so he takes her to a little diner. “You ever been here before?” He asks, sliding into a booth. She takes a seat across from him, and takes a look at the menu. “Yeah. I think so.” She smiles into the menu, avoiding eye contact. This is awkward for both of them. Two strangers on an impromptu date. “I actually kind of feel like some pancakes.” He laughs, glancing over the menu once more. “Yeah. Pancakes.” He smiles. Tessa clears her throat when the waitress stops by. “I’ll have the um—” She looks at Five and then at the waitress. “The bottomless short stack, no meat. With fruit instead of hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs. Oh! And a coffee, black.” She winks at Five and hands the waitress her menu. Five hands her his, and shrugs. “I’ll have the same actually, except an extra side of fruit instead of eggs. And coffee, black.”
“No meat, huh? Or eggs? You vegan?” Tessa asks, taking another bite. Five nods, finishing his second cup of coffee. “Yeah, yeah. No animals to provide in a postapocalyptic world.” He laughs. Tessa blinks. “A what?” She asks, putting her fork down. “Oh god dammit. Forget it.” He mutters, staring at his plate. “It- it was a joke.” Tessa shakes her head and picks her fork back up. “Didn’t sound like one, but whatever.”
And this is it. The moment Five has realized that he has fucked up his first date. One sentence and it’s ruined. “No. I just have a fucked sense of humor. I care a lot about the environment.” He smiles. Tessa shrugs, taking a bite. “Sounds like you’re pretty prepared for the apocalypse then.” She grin. Five nods, taking another drink of his coffee. “I guess, yeah. Even though it probably won’t be for awhile.” He laughs in his head because he knows it’s true. “Yeah. Kind of scary. I don’t know. I’m not worried.” She says. Five just shakes his head. He can’t tell her that he saved the world from ending. At least not yet. The rest of dinner is spent making small talk, and Five cracking the occasional joke. He learns that even when he’s not funny, Tessa still smiles, and her smile is beautiful. If she’s confused, she furrows her eyebrows together until it’s cleared up. And when they’re walking back to the school, she holds back her shivers, because in her mind, being cold is weak. Five offers her his jacket anyways, and she gladly takes it.
“You’re not actually gonna go to my school. Are you?” She stops in front of the entrance, Five shakes his head. “No. Actually my brother, the one I was with? Wanted me to go on a date with someone. The someone I chose, turned out to be really cool.” He grins. Tessa smiles, and looks at the door. “So if you’re not gonna go here, we can break in?” She suggests. Five swallows, and pulls out a few bobby pins from his pocket. “Is it weird I’m always prepared to break in somewhere?” He asks, kneeling down and fumbling with the lock. “A little. Am I weird for suggesting we break into my school?” Tessa responds. Five opens the door for her, and enters behind her. “I don’t know. It depends why you wanted to break in in the first place.” He says, closing the door behind them. “Because I’d rather kiss you where it’s warm.” She whispers, standing up on her tippy toes and kissing his cheek.
“No, I call bullshit. There’s more to it than a peck on the cheek.” Five rolls his eyes. Tessa winks, and begins her way down the hallway. Five follows suit. They come to a glass door at the end of one of them, and Tessa punches in a code. It’s filled with green, and pinks, and reds, and blues. All of the colors five could imagine, in every type of plant. “It’s..” He starts looking around, trying to figure out a word. “Magnificent. It’s magnificent.” He smiles. Tessa takes his hand, and begins pulling him around the conservatory, explaining the plants. “This ones a Mimosa pudica. When you touch them gently, they close. They’re very ticklish.” She says, taking five’s hand and using his pointer finger to gently caress the leaves. Sure enough, they close. “I like this one.” He says, marveling at the small purple blossoms. Tessa smiles, and pulls him towards another one. “This is our Wisteria vine. It’ll have to go outside soon and it’s going to be the most beautiful. I saw the one in Japan when I was younger, and fell in love.” She says, petting the leaves. “Beautiful. Like you.” Five accidentally blurts. Tessa smiles. “All of them. Everything in here- it’s beautiful.” He says, his fingers finding Tessa’s. “Thanks.” She mumbles. Five turns to look at her, his eyes wide. “You did this?” He asks. Tessa nods, and continues around the conservatory. “Really?” She nods again. “Not completely by myself. I’m the president of botany club. We’ve only got four members, but I’m trying to grow it.” She says. Five scrunches his face up, and picks up a fallen flower. In an attempt to be suave, he tucks it behind her ear. “You know, if I went here. I’d be member number five. Just like my name.” He grins. “Hm. I’m sure we could work something out.” She smiles. And because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, Five kisses her. It’s quick. Neither of them can really get into it. And then Tessa reaches up, wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him again. This time it’s different. Longer, more enjoyable, and proving their compatibility. “Maybe..” she starts, pulling away. “Maybe we could do this again sometime.” She finishes. Five bites his lip, and nods, kissing her again.
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