Queer Quill (daily poetry)

[queerquillpoetry]

Both

I am both

Fiercely independent

And want you near each day

Introverted and happy in solitude

Except when you’re away

Determined to be my own person

Yet within a life we build together

Terrified of being a burden

Even though I know it’s a pleasure

[queerquillpoetry]

Little Things

It’s the little things

Incidental touches and hugs

Fingers brushing between the sheets at night

Every sidelong glance brimming with love

The constant warmth in your eyes

[queerquillpoetry]

Haven

Home

My haven

The goal of the last month

Painstaking rehabilitation

Clawing back inches of movement

Centimeters of flexibility

This was the holy grail

To be back in my kingdom

- and I am grateful -

But also hollow

I miss the camaraderie

Meals magically appearing and disappearing

Friendly faces at regular intervals

A structure of exercise and rest

And a bathroom easily accessible with my crutches

This first floor apartment

Is so challenging

And lonely in comparison

Even with my cat companionship

Celebration sunk into exhaustion

A fatigued malaise

Punctuated with little joyful moments

I savour and cherish

They must sustain me

For a long time

[queerquillpoetry]

Nights in hospital

Clicks, beeps, chatter, blinking lights

Surrounded, alone

[queerquillpoetry]

Together

Your eyes are swimming with fatigue

Brimming with love

The relief that I am alive

The struggle yet to come

We will face it

Together

[queerquillpoetry]

Recovery

Recovery is an ocean:

Peaks and troughs

Storms and sunshine

Often floating lost

In an endless expanse

Until I grasp something solid

An island of relieving sand

That might fall away tomorrow

But I live in those moments

Waiting patiently for dry land

[queerquillpoetry]

one moment rolling

the next i fly and tumble

grazes, cuts, and breaks

[queerquillpoetry]

First and Last

They say

“Live every day like it’s your last”

But I do not fancy

The shadow of dooming mortality

So I would rather

Live every day

Like it’s my first

[queerquillpoetry]

Revelation

It is when suddenly the system is visible

Light catches the spider’s web

And you see the prey that you are

And everything at once is meaningless

And the most meaningful by your choices

It is in that chill dawn of revelation

We can turn away

Or

We can fight

[queerquillpoetry]

Tasks

Between showers and sun

I haul myself through my to-do list

Starting multiple tasks at once

Switching when I get bored or overwhelmed

Many breaks in my exhaustion

But slowly I accomplish small things

Not everything

But

Some things

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Teaching

Teaching teenagers

Equal frustration and joy

I try hard to help

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Worthy

Of all the people

Who tell me I am worthy

My cat’s love says most

[queerquillpoetry]

Sun and Rain

 My car glides along recycled plastic roads

Out one window

Blue sky and sun

Out the other

Dark grey, rumblings of rain

Ozone in the air

At work, the clouds release their

Burden and the temperature drops

I should have worn more layers

When I left home 

[queerquillpoetry]

Work

I could never

Sit at a desk

And type type type

Listen attentively

Type some more

Staring at a screen

God it would kill me

My shoulders would hunch

My eyes and head would ache

My brain would implode, oozing out my ears

My legs would jitter, fingers twitching

I need action, connection, change

But also structure, boundaries, rules

I am a paradox like that

[queerquillpoetry]

Nothing Like It

There is nothing like

The warmth of another living body

Tender pressure of reciprocal embrace

Heartbeats for a moment entwined

A quiet moment of presence

Two souls gently touching

Mutual reassurance and love

There is nothing like it 

[queerquillpoetry]

Our stories

There are so many complexities

To our stories

Strands upon strands of intersections

To trawl through

Details finer than a spider's web

More numerous than grains of sand

Too much for anyone

To truly comprehend

The story of humanity

Of us 

[queerquillpoetry]

I wake up

To something warm and fluffy

Nestled in the crook of my arm

I stir and

A rough tongue gently licks my hand

In return I stroke a soft head

I know is ginger in the darkness

My love sleeps quietly beside me

Another black cat at her feet

This is the moment

This is when I feel

The most human