I loveee video games, psychology, nature, art, music, politics, queerness, intellectual conversation, reading, science, fruit, empathy, being right... the list will never end if I continue, but you get the point: I love a lot! YOLO! Have fun! Be free!
All life is beautiful (unless you're a conservative; die). Tolerating intolerance makes you complicit, not benevolent. Violence is a question, and sometimes it is the only answer. I hate hate and love love.
I'll mostly be reblogging political posts, art, humor, relatable shit, and fandom stuff for various video games. I might even post my own art, who knows! I'm also a massive yapper and often share my correct opinions on here.
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My specific genre of queerness is nonbinary, genderfluid, and omnisexual with a strong fem preference. I like the omni label because I experience attraction in different ways and intensity depending on gender. I'll still say bi sometimes since it's under the umbrella, or even just gay/queer. I love sapphic too.
I'm somewhere on the aspec and ambiamorous as well. At least, I think. I definitely lean more aro though. It's hard to tell what specifically I feel since I'm nebularose and it'll drive me crazy if I try. (What even is romance???) To be so honest, the prior paragraph is mostly theoretical and based off of fiction, vague moments of attraction(?), or imagining myself in different scenarios lol.
I use they/them pronouns exclusively and any/all gendered terms, but I prefer neutral ones if possible. Here's a few examples: I'm totally chill with being called girl/boy in a gay way, miss or sir is fine as long as you switch it up, king/queen/monarch are acceptable, blah blah blah, you get the point.
Also, I'm a woman in a sociopolitical way and not a gender one, if that makes sense. As much as I yearn to escape the binary, being female is still a precious part of my identity because it shapes the way I experience life.
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Politically, I consider myself to be a general leftist. I'm a socialist who loves freedom, feminism, intersectionality, and atheism. I live in the USA. I'm also an ethical vegan for the animals. If you check my blog, you'll get to know me a bit better, because we'll be here all day if I list all the things I support and oppose, so I'm not doing that. Obviously, I'm against bigotry and support liberation for all oppressed classes. I block freely!!
I consciously distance myself from separatist movements. Most internet "leftists" are insufferable, and their only goals are to be contrarian and achieve moral superiority (which is ironic, as they're some of the most morally deplorable and inconsistent people). Some of you bitches treat rich old men’s words as God and revolution as the Rapture.
Do not let an unattainable utopia be the enemy of progress. Perfection is a myth. It's better to try the wrong way than to never try at all. Mistakes are how we learn. So go to that liberal protest, even if losers online say it’s useless. We must focus on our commonalities instead of our differences because human strength lies in unity. Besides, echo chambers are harmful no matter what the echo sounds like. Exchanging ideas is what fosters growth and innovation. If there’s any true “human nature” apart from our primal survival instincts, it is that we are social creatures who crave connection. Remember that.
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Disclaimer for this next segment: I understand that this is not a real issue. The reason I am even saying this is because in chronically online left-wing spaces, some people genuinely act this way, and I want to avoid interacting with that crowd because they are just miserable humans. Yes, it is obviously okay to punch up when making jokes and such. I'm talking about real, violent hatred.
Let me make this very clear: There is absolutely nothing progressive about hating someone for the sole fact of being a member of an uncontrollable demographic group. I am all for the oppressed hating their oppressors, but random people who happen to belong to a class with systemic privilege are not your oppressors. You’re not radical; you’re just a prejudiced asshole. If anything, you’re alienating potential allies. No, I am obviously not saying that oppressed people are responsible or at fault for their oppression, but you’re certainly not helping yourself by being a raging hypocrite. I don’t care if you think that “a true ally would tolerate it” because this is real life and we can’t afford to pick and choose if there’s any hope of liberation, especially when it comes to recruiting those with more power to enact change than us due to their privilege.
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Here's the part where I overshare online! Are you excited? You should be. I certainly am. My medical information is hype as fuck.
I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD, ADHD, OCD, and Visual Snow Syndrome. There's more (yay) but you can figure those out yourself. I strongly suspect that I have ASD and am trying to get a professional diagnosis, but medical misogyny is an unfortunately huge obstacle, and I've been misdiagnosed in the past by healthcare providers who know less about their own field than I do. But you best believe I will always persevere and advocate for myself.
Mental illness doesn't have shit on me anymore, though! We UP!!!! Strictly in my healing era and loving life against all odds. If you're struggling, I see you. I have some of the evilest disorders and was genuinely convinced I would never recover but look at where I am now! Survive today so you can thrive tomorrow. I promise you won't regret it. Once you learn how to overcome and manage mental illness, you can do anything. Life is what you make it, my love!
Hello everybody! It's time for a coming out post (the remix) because I've been figuring shit out again.
Okay, FIRST:
Agender! (I did the classic 0+0=infinity. whoops)
NEXT:
Non-SAM (split attraction model) aromantic!
EXPLANATION TIME:
I use the non-SAM aro label because I don't think the distinctions between types of attraction make sense nor do they matter, and I've never experienced what is considered to be romantic/sexual attraction towards any real person before. I center my aromanticism because romance is the most subjective and makes the least sense to me. I do desire an emotionally and physically intimate partnership though, but without the cultural rules and expectations applied to traditional relationships. I'm also omni oriented—whatever that means in relation to everything else I've got going on.
My detachment towards gender works the same way: Both of these concepts are arbitrary and socially constructed, and while I respect the (valid) identities of those who resonate with them, I personally require logical understanding to make connections. The neurodivergence probably has a lot to do with this lol.
So... have I finally cracked the code? Probably not. Will these labels change again in the future? Perhaps. But currently, these terms feel right and most accurately describe my experiences. All in all, I think this last image is pretty relatable, plus it made me giggle (bonus points!) so I'm including it here:
Okay, that's all! THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!
one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress.
part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.
and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.
i only learned this year that loud noises aren’t physically painful for other people. i have lived 34 years in a world in which my friends and family regularly physically hurt me at random just by shouting, and i thought everyone else just thought i was kind of a wimp for not dealing with the pain as well as they did.
like. loud noises physically hurt. it’s like a static shock from my ears to my spine that doesn’t stop until the volume goes back down. i thought we all agreed that ‘that’s too loud!’ and covering our ears meant ‘ouch!’. turns out i’ve been dealing with a stressor almost no one else has, my whole life, alone.
autistic people have to keep functioning through debilitating levels of stress that no one else in their life acknowledges or helps them with. it’s no wonder that their most visible ‘tells’ are breakdowns.
you fail to recognize not everyone has trauma that impacts their ability to perform activities of daily living - even right down to basic things like eating. and not everyone has trauma dominate their entire life, with no escape: not even escape from within their own mind.
we can recognize that we live in a society that has doled out trauma to most people without punching down on the most vulnerable by telling them they should be able to do x, y, z (ex: work, make friends, get sober, have hobbies, cook, etc) "like everyone else."
you are not the standard. no one is the standard. we are all unique people in our own right and society has failed us all. we gain nothing by shaming anyone.
Please, let's remember that intersex people are not the only ones who can have "mixed" sex traits or variations in sex traits. HRT and various surgeries exist!!
Sometimes I'll see definitions of intersexuality that say anyone with any variations or atypicalities in sex traits are intersex, but that's not quite it. If that were the case, perisex people could simply "turn intersex" by using forms of HRT or getting certain surgeries. A more proper definition of intersexuality (and this definition can be fluid and far more detailed) would be anyone with NATAL variations or atypicalities in sex traits.
Forgetting about perisex people who have "mixed" or atypical sex traits in your varsex advocacy isn't cool. Intersex people aren't the only ones who can have bodies that don't quite fit into "male" or "female" ideals.
AND, perisex people can and will face aspects of intersexism for these sex traits!! Being perisex doesn't mean you're magically exempt from intersexism, ESPECIALLY if you're trans or nonbinary or GNC or etc.
(Perisex people, PLEASE don't see this post as an intersex person sucking up to you. I think a lot of you could do a shit ton more to support your intersex siblings for the record. This post is just me being a little picky about definitions and a FEW interactions I've noticed between perisex and intersex people.)
my that one friend that's too woke opinion is that in a similar vein to how you almost never see fat people or women without makeup on tv you never really see anyone experiencing incontinence issues unless it's a humiliating comedic moment at their expense and that's kind of scary
like sorry to be the bearer of bad news but people piss themselves. when they're afraid. when they've experienced mental and/or physical trauma and their body needs a way to express that stress. when they've been sexually assaulted. when they get older and their muscles start to wear out from a lifetime of service. a not insignificant majority of people Will experience incontinence in their lifetimes and while there are steps you can take to manage it for your own comfort and others', there's simply no moral dimension to it whatsoever. & like i'm not saying every show and movie needs checkhov's bed wetting scene but we have seriously got to get more okay with acknowledging that somehow.
As a Black fem fan of horror but it gotta ~make the brain tickle~, I largely enjoyed the Backrooms movie.
But I definitely had to suspend my disbelief a bit with Clark's character as INTERESTING as he was, because (spoilers below):
1. I'm sure there probably ARE Black people that see white therapists out there... But err...? Considering society's inherent tendency to be anti-black in insidious and conspicuous ways, all the way down to how others treat us through unchecked bias—how we even have to police ourselves and how we engage with others—why WOULD Clark go see a white woman? Which leads to my next questions—
2. Where ARE we? (California) What time period are we in? (It's the 90s)... Alright. Even if Cali is known to be more progressive compared to other states—they ain't with them Police though—still much of the same. And, it's still the US. With this movie taking place in the 90s, I'm assuming after 1992... What of Rodney King? The LA "riots"? Police brutality? You telling me Clark's anger is just that unchecked or not self-policed even when engaging with white women (his therapist, wife, and hell—even the still-life)????
3. And not just them. He's the only main Black male character, and person, on the cast. He's got a young Asian woman co-worker and white man who I assume helps out every once in a while with camera things. Clark then gets them in the Backrooms and... doesn't show him thinking or hesitating (that we, the audience could assume/interpret as), "... Wait. If something were to happen to them... What does that mean for me if I make it out? 🤔" Even IF he's obsessed with proving how right he was about the existence of the Backrooms to, again, his white woman therapist—even IF he's spiraling—we (for the most part) are ALWAYS thinking about how our Blackness might influence/impact a situation. In other words, "Because we live in a racist society, will this look AND go bad for me?"
I've been a fan of Kane Pixels works on YouTube so I can only assume that this was just not thought out that deeply (which tends to happen when it comes to anything race wise beyond him). But, again, I had to suspend my disbelief to continue enjoying the show, because besides what I brought up, I did enjoy it! A LOT.
I was scared! I was disturbed! I was thoughtful! I loved the distorted memory angle. I loved the allusions to AI. I loved that the monster is YOU. I loved the use of sound and set design. I thought having Clark be an architect was clever. Of COURSE he would find the Backrooms fascinating from that point of view. I loved how the therapist even has her own trauma she's parsing and looping through.
I loved picking apart every detail and "puzzle piece" I can get my hand on. That movie kept asking me throughout, "Are you paying attention? Do you remember THIS detail from another scene?" It was fun!
So, yes. Of course I would notice the lone Black character and his handling.
And, again, I thought his character was interesting and largely believable (if we ignored the race relations and implications). I think Chiwetel Ejiofor played Clark fantastically. And I can only assume and hope he likely enjoyed playing him too. Understand me when I say I wasn't expecting him to be a "good guy". Nor am I asking for that. Is the character believable, interesting, and complex is what I largely look for. For the most part, yes, he was, but because he is the only Black man and person in the film, the optics of his anger and violence putting these non-Black people in harm's way and also being the cause of their harm (and demise) was... Hm.
In honor of an old "Tumblr saying", nothing is created in a vacuum.
For a movie that subverted expectations with character motivations, desires, actions, and even the horror monster... And the attention to detail was immaculate—I wished that level of care and subversion would have also applied to the racial implications and biases presented when having a Black main character in the film.
Because it was there with the women. I could see the film saying by showing the harm and disregard of women in the way the men and the broader patriarchal system at large engaged with or dismissed them. Again, whether personally, casually, and systemically. It wasn't blatant, but I peeped, and I appreciated it.
I wish I could extend that to the racial components but alas. That wasn't thought about and it showed.
So, what could have been done to avoid that misstep or icky feeling for Black audience members like myself?
Have Clark NOT be the only Black character in the film. Black women do exist. How interesting (and more believable) would it have been if the "therapist character", Mary, was a Black woman? Man... How lucky is the timeline that DID go that route?
Guess imma have to watch Is God Is to make up for it 😌
Absolutely wild to find out another indie author has been referring to you as "the competition" this entire time. Like there can only be one disabled werewolf Romance novel.
I'd like there to be more, actually. I'd like them to hold hands. I would have liked us to hold hands, but alas.
We could have gone on mailing lists together. We could have shared readers. We could have had a beautiful Fall wedding under the eldritch glow of a blood moon. Why, why must we be forsaken?!
Absolutely insane to consider any other indie author "the competition" unless they're directly attacking you. Readers are (usually) not going out there like "hmm, which is the one single disabled werewolf romance book I will read?" More often, they will read one and if they like it, go ahead and get the other one. It's such a rising tide lifts all boats type of profession. Other books in your genre (assuming they're not reputation-ruiningly terrible) bring more readers to your genre! Ten amazing disabled werewolf romances is so much better than standing alone! It increases audience size for everyone!
"The competition" do they even understand their job?
Stop bringing your pet dogs to protests. Please. For the love of god. If you do not need the dog with you as a vital service animal, do not bring them, for the safety of the dog and the other attendees.
Even the best-trained dogs can react unpredictability to sudden chaos. On top of that, cops can and will shoot dogs if things get dicey. There are endless reports of dogs being brutalized by cops. This is not a new phenomenon.
If shit hits the fan, you need to be alert, aware, and not distracted by the dog's safety/behavior. What are you gonna do with your dog if the tear gas and rubber bullets get deployed? If a car barrels into the crowd? If someone tries to provoke your dog as an excuse to escalate violence?
A protest is not a block party. Leave your dogs at home where they belong.
