sorry for bleeding all over your carpet

blue/hastur - he/any - adult

[grungegoths]

/gen did queen elizabeth did something problematic recently or are people just celebrating her death bc she's rich and a royal ? Asking bc i havent seen any callouts or negative headlines about her recently

she ships reylo hope that helps

[spirit-whump]

I love when The Character has a breakdown. Are they gonna go catatonic? Start crying hysterically and can't stop? Get so mad they could blow up a mountain? No matter what it's always fantastic.

[spirit-whump]

I also love when said breakdown is a complete contrast to the face The Character puts on for the public.

[krasnoarmeyets]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[atombombtom]

[atombombtom]

[elliespectacular]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

The joke is already funny!

Further additions or permutations may weaken its potency!

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[icecream-noodle]

The tradie came to clean the gutters and grabbed some moss for me and just look at these wonderful specimins! This has to have been growing for many years now!

#MyMoss

[icecream-noodle]

Moss update 😌

#MyMoss

[sailatina3]

[princess-of-phyresis]

you're a fool if you take the money: and here's why💡 $200 million sounds like a lot 💵 but smart entrepreneurs know the secret 🙊 to real riches is passive income 👨‍💼 while many might take the money 💰 real innovators will continue to use the orangutan 🦧 let's break it down- yes, you will be $200 shorter than your peers: but that job experience? 👔 not only will that help you stand🧍‍♂️out in interviews- it shows conviction and a desire to grow 🌱 and honestly? that's worth more than $200 million ✨️

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[beloved-icarus]

Mesopotamian girl sending clay tablets to her best friend who lives five city states to the west: what if..... Enkidu begot Gilgamesh with child?🤭

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

[geekysteven]

Being embarrassed by what I enjoy is laughable. As a babe my mother submerged me in the River Cringe and I am impervious to social damage.

[geekysteven]

Don't make fun of my ankles though, no reason

[aurpiment]

“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth

[severalowls]

fuck people who reblog posts which contradict each other. no! be explicitly clear

[satyriconmp3]

admire folks who reblog posts which contradict eachother. exactly! keep em guessing

[gossamer-green]

free my girl. yeah she did all that but what else was she SUPPOSED TO DO this is bullshit and you know it, your honor

[death-rebirth-senshi]