IT IS NOT ENOUGH

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@quimalus
IT IS NOT ENOUGH
absolute lithops effect
“And then one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it, tells me it’s right, that it’s me.”
My post got 1 like… So here it is. Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives reading “Man Door Hand Hook Car Door” like a statement. See you all again in like 3 years. Edit: this kind of blew up and I’ve noticed a lot of people aren’t seeing the OG post. So for clarification: This is a text-to-speech bot I trained
Ok but I’m kinda obsessed with the concept of using machine learning to make The Magnus Archives fan content. you collect a bunch of recordings of someone, feed them to a machine that finds the complex web of patterns that predict the outcomes, and now you can impersonate someone’s voice in a way that sounds just about right, but not quite right, in this uncanny way that you never hear when real people make speech errors? Incredibly ominous in the TMA universe.
im simply an avatar of the stranger feeding on peoples reaction to my bots.
Malevolent strikes on all fronts
Malevolent…very nice
Which avatars are most likely to be dissuaded by a locked door?
Elias Bouchard (Jonah Magnus)
We have previous canon evidence that Elias is weak to doors. Martin was burning statements and he was forced to ask him to stop from outside until he could go get a key. Maybe he could break it down, but he would never lower himself to that.
There is a 1/5 chance that Elias will be able to get through your door. (Just remember to bring the key in with you.)
Peter Lukas
Peter definitely can’t get through a locked door. He’s old and too physically frail to break it down. He’s also extremely incompetent, so even if he can afford to hire a locksmith, he probably wouldn’t think of it. He may try to manipulate you into opening the door, but just ignore him as he isn’t very convincing.
There is a 0/5 chance that Peter can get you through a locked door.
Jude Perry
Jude is a serial arsonist, and so has experience circumventing home security. In all likelihood, a locked door means nothing to her. If Jude Perry is at the other side of your door, your time in this world is limited. Try to find another exit. Do not stop to collect keepsakes, that’s exactly what she wants you to do.
There is a 5/5 chance that Jude is getting through your door as we speak.
Mike Crew
Mike’s specialties are making people fall off things and also making others experience vertigo. None of these things allow him to unlock a door. He is also described as short in canon, so he may not be able to kick down the door. HOWEVER, is it very possible that Mike could enter your house from above through a chimney or skylight. Do not get complacent.
There is a 3/5 chance that Mike would eventually figure out a way past your door. (Consider offering Mike hospitality if he does enter your home. He values politeness and may forget that he was planning to kill you.)
Michael Shelley / Helen Richardson
You are NOT safe. Both of these entities are DOOR EXPERTS. The status of your door, secure or not, is meaningless. However, Michael has displayed a marked vulnerability to having his own door locked. Your only other option is to appeal to their senses of humor. Try to convince them that you are funnier alive than dead.
There is a 4.9/5 chance you will enter the corridors of the Spiral and be consumed, unless you manage to force a hard reset of the avatar in question and buy yourself some more time.
Jared Hopworth
The door never stood a chance. Jared has a grotesque number of arms and each one of them is capable of ripping your door off its hinges. He may knock first, but only for his own amusement. Use this time to run. You will most probably be caught and de-boned, but it’s worth a try.
There is a 5/5 chance that Jared will get through your door. Use the time you have left to decide which bones you would most like to keep, if asked.
Annabelle Cane
You’re not safe, but there’s no need to worry about the structural integrity of your door. You check the door, just to be sure, and it’s unlocked for some reason. You go to lock it, but instead you open it. Annabelle’s outside, and you invite her in. She’s always welcome here.
There is a 5/5 chance that you will discover that Annabelle is a good friend who belongs in your home, and had almost certainly been there the whole time.
Alice “Daisy” Tonner
You should have just let her in, but now she’s drawn her gun and shot the lock. Even if she hadn’t been armed, she’s police trained and can break down a door with ease. If you had met her later on, she might have respected that you didn’t want her to come in, but unfortunately, you didn’t.
There is a 4/5 chance that you are going to take a walk in the forest with Officer Tonner.
Jonathan Sims
Jon has very little capability to bypass a locked door. He can’t break it down, and he has no weapon nor lockpicking ability. However, he doesn’t need to get through the door to ask questions. Keep a good distance from the door, and wait for him to get discouraged and leave. Resist the urge to come within earshot and taunt him, as that is what he will be waiting for.
There is a 0/5 chance that Jon will get through your door, but a 3/5 chance that he won’t need to.
Melanie King
Melanie’s primary weapon is her knife, which is not especially effective at opening locked doors. She will likely be coming after you in a blind rage, and this will hinder her problem-solving capabilities. By the time she remembers that she knows how to pick locks, she has already lost interest in killing you.
There is a 2/5 chance that Melanie will be able to stab a big enough hole in your door to chase you through. Try to leave more than one door between you and her.
Simon Fairchild
This man never even sees your door. There are footsteps on the ceiling. He’s come in by parachute. You never had a chance. He’s smashed through your skylight and turned your living room into the inside of a wind tunnel.
6/5 THE MAD BASTARD IS AT IT AGAIN.
My post got 1 like… So here it is. Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives reading “Man Door Hand Hook Car Door” like a statement. See you all again in like 3 years. Edit: this kind of blew up and I’ve noticed a lot of people aren’t seeing the OG post. So for clarification: This is a text-to-speech bot I trained
Ok but I’m kinda obsessed with the concept of using machine learning to make The Magnus Archives fan content. you collect a bunch of recordings of someone, feed them to a machine that finds the complex web of patterns that predict the outcomes, and now you can impersonate someone’s voice in a way that sounds just about right, but not quite right, in this uncanny way that you never hear when real people make speech errors? Incredibly ominous in the TMA universe.
im simply an avatar of the stranger feeding on peoples reaction to my bots.
I’ve never seen the magnus archives but being in the wwdits fandom gets me dangerously close to opening that door
op,,, open the door,,,,,
u ever make an unintended reference and watch as everyone winks at each other while taunting you to join
This is honestly a very accurate description of what it’s like to listen to tma in every aspect
stuff in tma that isnt outright nightmare-inducingly scary but is just odd enough to legitimately unsettle me
-laura popham absolutely definitely getting her sister killed in 15 and either not knowing or straight up lying about it in her statement
-the fact that harriet lee exploded into worms but timothy hodge became a flesh hive and we just….never figure out what the difference between them was that facilitated that
-the fact that the corruption infected nicole baxter in 36 THROUGH her gloves and she’s implied to have ended up getting her hand amputated literally this has not left my head since i realized it
-the vase that stole andre ramao’s husband in 38 i know we joke about it but it was seriously so frightening when jon started talking about his fucking halfway blank marriage license i wanted to cry
-THE BURIED AVATAR IN 50 THAT LIKE TRAPPED SOMEONE IN A CONCRETE WALL SO JUST THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS WERE STICKING OUT AUGUGHHHH?????
-the one very specific part of 55 where jordan’s trying to get rid of the wasp nest and he talks about it screaming and like…reaching out to get him
-the bit in 59 where ronald sinclair is describing raymond fielding like sitting in a chair and he stands up and a bunch of fucking live spiders fall out of the inside of his jacket i would genuinely just die on the spot if i saw that
-the whole scene in 69 of that guy cracking annabelle’s head on the windowsill and her skull caving in to reveal just. fucking cobwebs where her brain should be
-literally all of 74 but especially the way that michael didn’t even seem to be doing anything. he wasn’t the one making lydia stay up he was just there to make fun of her while she destroyed herself
-the fact that the not-mom in 77 was nicer than the girl’s real mom. jesus
-jan kilbride being implied to still be alive in the buried after gertrude threw him in there to stop its ritual (what the fuck. what the fuck. no words can describe how much this unnerves me)
-106 just as an episode was like…..one of the more frightening ones to me (post-statement aside bc that just makes me murderous) but i think it mostly has to do with lydia nicholas’ voice acting. she has a perfect voice for jan kilbride’s breakdown narration
-that lady in 114 that went into the basement of hill top road and got spat out in a parallel universe where nobody knew her
-again. the end of 127 where jonathan fanshawe cuts open albrecht von closen and he’s just fucking full of eyeballs is something we do NOT talk about enough
-not even the actual content of 144 but just the way the statement starts like normal just some guy talking and just slowly devolves into a frantic deranged apocalypse-predicting rant is so FUCKING creepy. something about him not even needing his headphones to hear the numbers station by the end does NOT sit right with me
-i talked about this a few days ago but the reveal of basira trying so hard to save callum brodie and then him just ending up as an avatar anyway makes me want to literally attack people
submerged
just friendly banter :)
Oh boy! It’s Fog Man!
Home is behind, The world ahead, And there are many paths to tread, Through shadow To the edge of night, Until the stars are all alight, Mist and shadow, Cloud and shade, All shall fade All shall...fade.
- Pippin's Song | Edge of Night, Lord of the Rings
Partially inspired by this great post by @feathered-serpents <3
Please click for better quality!
diversity win! the two mostly normal looking deliverymen ferrying doom to and from different recipients are gay!
you should be prettier
Gerard Keay