something ive been thinking about after living in a very small rural texas town for the past two years is that it is so hard listening to the average nonsouthern, wealthy, and/or city leftist who very clearly does not actually live in a situation where right wing ideology is omnipresent and socially enforced.
obviously the recent rise in these ideologies amongst the average person will affect people everywhere but it really really irks me how those in more leftist areas talk about issues.
first of all, your average bigot isnt anything like how yall describe. yalls experience with true bigotry seems to be entirely within the scope of what you see online or your piece of shit uncle you only see once a year or you're out of touch coworker that has a cop husband.
i have to exist in a space where i am fully and completely outnumbered and everything i do and say spreads around eventually and everyone here has been raised their entire lives to think that questioning your beliefs is MORALLY WRONG.
like i can describe this in detail but i dont think yall will actually get it. ive had to listen to my coworkers genuinely say that they think gay kids should be sent to conversion therapy and forced to have sex with the opposite gender. ive had to listen to them talk about evolution being fake. ive had to help a friend escape to a different state because her husband is trans.
i dont think yall actually get it. you say you do and youll say you do after this but i dont believe you. yall talk about them like theyre some distant enemy and act like theyre obvious about their beliefs. yall act like all bigots are otherwise terrible people, when they aren't.
that's the worst part about them actually. they aren't some evil fucker in the shadows taking candy from babies while saying they hate black people. they can be so kind otherwise. genuinely kind and compassionate. and you may think its a contradiction but its not. they are warped in a way yall just cant understand. the contradiction is the key to Getting It.
These people are raised in a small town surrounded by others exactly like them and told their entire lives not only that these groups are ontologically different and wrong, but also that questioning literally anything is a sign of weakness and evil. to stray of the expected path is to stray towards darkness for them. they fear the stranger.
and you may think to yourself that if they have empathy for those that are familiar maybe they can change if theyre exposed to more kinds of people. and to that i say, this is just another layer of your naivety.
i'll tell you what happens when these people meet a "good" minority. a "good" leftist, a familiar one. its one of two things.
the first is that they act as if you have betrayed them. they may not even outwardly say it but in this case you have essentially revealed that you were a secret criminal as bad as a murderer or rapist. they will either lash out or isolate you.
the second is that they will simply put you in the same category as they are. sure youre gay but youre not really Gay right? your wife is basically a man and you're quiet about it and you go to church. sure youre black but you're not really Black. you were born here and vote republican and dont act like a victim and let them say the n-word. sure youre a leftist but youre not really a Leftist. you dont bring up politics and dont support trans people or whatever other bullshit they tell themselves to comfortably squeeze you into the "us" category while continuing to support the life ruining policies and actions that are aimed towards everyone else like you. and they truly to expect you to be happy with this lot.
try as you might these people don't have a "theory of mind" for the stranger and thats not going to change unless they want it to and with whats going on theyve got no incentive to do that brutal, humble work in exchange for being completely ostracized from their community.
but then again are you really so different City Leftist? you don't have a theory of mind for these people either and its made you stupid and ineffective. a lotta yall just sit around imagining a world where you actually do fuck all and patting yourself on the back for it. is it really so surprising that ive grown a distaste for you lot? i used to be much like you until i found myself in the lions den. and thats why im so certain that everything i just said will go through one ear and out the other for most of you.
i guess the main reason im writing this is to rant, but theres a part of me that hopes it will ignite some understanding in a few of you. and maybe we can start actually doing something instead of talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking
