Nico's Shitpost

[just-shower-thoughts]

We’ve created a culture that pressures people so much that they feel the need to go into work with the flu…which is a contagious illness.

[laurbyboom]

if you dont reblog this youre straight

[daydreamerofyesterday]

Not on my fucking watch buddy

[quinnteresting-blog1]

First time using more make-up than just eyeliner on my face! I think I did fairly well (I just have to work on the eyeliner a bit).

[quinnteresting-blog1]

UNDERTALE HAS RUINED ME. I sae this at the store today and saw the word sans and automatically thought of Sans the Skeleton. ffs

[quinnteresting-blog1]

If I take a shower at midnight, did I take a shower today or tomorrow?

[thatonebubblebitch]

Lord pls someone rp with me

[markiplier]

Ok. I’ll be Bim Trimmer.

“Hey. I’m Bim Trimmer.”

[thatonebubblebitch]

Wow thanks Mark that’s so kind of you totally what I needed what an honor W H Y YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT

[markiplier]

“Hey. Calm down. I know I’m Bim Trimmer and all but no need to get all confuzzled about it ha ha haa.”

*takes 2 steps towards your podium*

[thatonebubblebitch]

IM NOT ON A PODIUM MARK OR BIM OR WHOEVER YOU ARE PLEASE STOP IM TERRIFIED OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I POST YOU SEE T H I S

[markiplier]

“Ha ha haa. What a jokester! Now, for your final bonus round, would you like to be sent through the industrial meat-grinder or swim through the pool of piranha-chiuahaha hybrids? Also known as chiranhas.”

*saunters 2 steps closer to your podium*

[thatonebubblebitch]

I just wanna go home please let me go home I don’t want this anymore

[markiplier]

“Ha Ha haa. I don’t even know what that means but I like the enthusiasm for the chiranhas! Ok, just stand right there we’ll get you into position.”

*your podium launches you 135 feet into the air while the floor beneath you opens into a yawning chasm of yipping madness*

[thatonebubblebitch]

NO PLEASE MARK NO STOP I DON’T WANT THIS MARK NO PLEASE AH FUCK OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO D I E

[markiplier]

*you hit the water screaming with probably joy*

*the water quickly froths into a roiling cauldron of blood and slobber*

“OOOH!! Ha ha haa. Looks like you didn’t quite stick the landing! Everyone give it up for our willing volunteer and thanks so much for watching! I’m Bim Trimmer, and I’ll see you next time on ‘HIRE-MY-ASS!’”

[writing-prompt-s]

You find a genie with an… unconventional way of granting wishes. Instead of the usual “three wishes with these rules, pick whatever you want,” this genie provides you with a would-you-rather scenario - and you have to pick one.

[quinnteresting-blog1]

Me: Fuck you then! Wait, wait –not like–!

Genie: *has currently taken human form and stripping*

[quinnteresting-blog1]

Just gonna put this out there – what if we all were once fictional characters past people fanned over, and all fiction characters now are real too, but we won't know because by the time they are real we'll all be dead.

[wildlifewednesdays]

The dangers and troubles of being a panda zookeeper.

[bace-jeleren]

LET! THEM! IN! THE! BASKET!!!!!

[tsix-xist]

This poor woman is just trying to clean the leaves. #allpandas.

[queen-mayhem]

if you’re having a rough night, watch this. trust me.

[vincentvalmontvandel]

They’re almost as bad as cats

[maybe-itdoesntmatterr-deactivat]

They’re like badass kids😍😂😂

[aqueroful]

[captainmwai]

Sony: Easy…. EASY….

Microsoft: Over a bit… now a little to the riiiight…

Nintendo: THREE HANDLES! NO! FOUR! MOTION DETECTOR STICK! A SCREEN A FUCKING SCREEN ON YOUR CONTROLLER

[amazingspidey16]

[eroscestlavie]

okay but why is that kylo cosplayer so good omfg

[kemonos]

that isnt cosplay this is real movie footage

[smeliot-deactivated20220528]

Fun Christmas idea:

Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it

[smeliot-deactivated20220528]

Mistlefoe™

[razzle-dazzle-pineazzle-blog]

SOMEONE’S HALLS ARE GETTING

DECKED

[best-of-memes]

Rich people showers

[officialkeikoandgilly]

[labyrinth-runner]

reblogging for that gif

[immenseheadaches]

i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself 

[laterovaries-deactivated2017022]

Not gonna not reblog this….

[atomskdluffy]

The drawings are a necessary addition. (Gargle shower and fireplace showers still best)

[mr-prism]

*muffled screams*

[sunnyddlgblog]

I had to

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

china, 2500 years ago:

guy 1: hey what should we put in this boiling water

guy 2, an absolute fucking genius: uh……………..

leaves.

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[theshitneyspears]

It’s the little things that matter the most 🎄🌈 

[moomoomeadowz-deactivated202008]

simple sketch animation of antisepticdraincleaner, which is not yet the finished product.

I won’t put my signature on every single layer so please be nice and credit me if you’re going to use these~ xx

[gael-garcia]

Miss Major in The Trans List (2016)

[eeyes]

a reminder that miss major has a retirement fund, still not even half funded after being open for 4 years. if you’re able, you should consider a monthly pledge, or whatever you are able

https://www.gofundme.com/MsMajorRetirement