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[penandinkprincess]

Ooh we #shallergies posting

Imagine someone at a club flirting with Shane by buying him a drink, not knowing it has one of his allergens in it.

Ilya already gets a mix of emotions from people flirting with Shane- jealousy and protectiveness, yes, but also the self-assured pride of "everyone in the club wants my man but my man only wants me 😎" + "nobody can make you feel the way I do, baby, nobody will ever be enough for you but me." I feel like that, when compounded with Ilya's attention and protectiveness arouns Shane's allergies, would make a fun reaction (pun intended). Maybe him making a show of dumping the drink out while making eye contact with the other guy, idk.

imagining this being just. accidentally the power move of the CENTURY when it comes to rejecting someone flirting with him. and he doesn't even fucking mean it! that's the thing!

he was talking to someone earlier, they were getting flirty, and then he drifted off to go rejoin the team or something. cue a bartender leaning over to him and going, "this is from the guy over there 😉" and nodding towards the person who sent him the drink. and shane is POLITE, okay? he's not interested, but the guy wasn't rude (even if he just. was fucking missing shane wearing a wedding ring, apparently), so he waves his thanks-

-AND THEN TURNS AND HANDS THE DRINK TO ILYA.

and now ilya, who watched this happen and knows fucking EXACTLY what this guy intended with his drink, just ALSO waves at the guy with the meanest "yeeeah get fucked" smile before enjoying the drink in a way that makes sure the light will be catching his wedding band each time he lifts the glass.

[penandinkprincess]

when Shane was a kid David learned to cook to accommodate his egg allergy and got very good at it. He knows ALL the ways to substitute eggs. And even once Shane outgrew that allergy David kept cooking egg-free because he was better at it than regular cooking!

Shane may have had to bring his own cupcakes to birthday parties, but by god if David wasn’t going to make them delicious

100% david can throw down with some allergen-free food, but i feel like part of shane's problems really comes from the fact that sometimes kids are just. mean.

which honestly just hurts my heart more imagining bb shane with his cupcakes he can have, but other kids have picked up that the cupcakes are Different and now it's a kneejerk response of "ewwww".

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[kingskindly]

I just know, after raising Shane all these years, Yuna is very in tune with the likes and dislikes of her family and always likes to pick things up when she’s out.

A blanket on sale that she knows is a texture Shane will like, sesame mochi — the only dessert Shane will eat — David’s favourite brand of chocolate covered almonds (Meiji, obviously).

And when Ilya joins their family it takes a while, but Yuna notices that he always reaches for the dried mangoes when there’s a bag open, and he eats the Miss Vickies sweet and spicy ketchup chips by the handful.

So it makes sense to her that she would pick these things up when she sees them at the store and make sure her pantry is stocked for all her boys.

Ilya only finds out when they’re over at his parents on a movie night, and Shane, rummaging around the pantry for snacks groans “at this point, you have more of Ilya’s stuff than you do mine,”

“My stuff?” He asks, completely befuddled.

“Yeah, like the ketchup chips and the dried mangoes. Your snacks take up the whole pantry.”

“My snacks,” Ilya says again flatly, still not understanding. “But you all eat these.”

“I mean sure,” Shane agrees, “but my mom buys them for you. Because you like them.”

“This is true?” Ilya turns to Yuna with wide eyes.

And Yuna smiles softly at him, maybe a little sheepishly at being called out so blatantly, and shrugs.

“I mean, yes, honey. I thought you liked those snacks?”

And Ilya gets all teary and reassures her that he loves these snacks. He’s obsessed with these snacks. They are his favourite snacks.

And he starts noticing how anytime he shows interest in something, it will start showing up regularly at the Hollander household—snacks, candy, that specific Japanese soda Ilya likes with the marble.

It becomes a running joke between them that Yuna pays more attention to what Ilya likes than what Shane does (not true but the joke makes them both pleased and sappy).

[penandinkprincess]

Hi I finally read At Your Service (I’ve been saving it for an Angst Day, as you do) and I’m giggling to myself at Shane having a dog named Rosie.

Like. First he’s got his soulmate Ilya ROSanov (even meaning “of the rose” unless the internet’s lying to me)

THEN he’s got his platonic soulmate Rose Landry

NOW he’s got his souldog Rosie (against his will)

I’m just picturing like a year later a little old lady named Rosemary moving in next door and introducing herself and Shane going *deepest deep sigh of his life* “OK here’s my number let’s get lunch tomorrow you’re probably my new honorary grandma or something”

the idea of him being resigned to this new person being a foundation stone in his life now just because she fits the "rose" rule is so funny

[hearts4upl]

Me and @immwalkinghere are actually the biggest Upl fans ever it’s insane

[immwalkinghere]

and DONT YOU FORGET IT.

[penandinkprincess]

the super fun thing about having food allergies is that some schools (all of the ones I went to in the US, a couple of the ones my cousins have gone to in Canada) will for Safety Reasons insist that you keep your epipen in the nurse’s office so nobody loses it or accidentally sticks a needle through their hand which makes sense until you realize the nurse’s office is nowhere near the cafeteria or the classroom so if you did have a reaction you’d have to go to the other side of the building to get your shot. anyway this happened to Shane in fourth grade and the school had to change the policy

oh i would NOT want to be the administrator facing down yuna hollander under these circumstances

[bees-reads]

You just know that baby Shane was the grumpiest, most serious, chubbiest little thing.

All the photos they have of him with different family members picture him frowning with a little pout. He only ever smiled when he was in David or Yuna’s arms despite other people trying to make him laugh.

Ilya absolutely adores looking at these photos and cannot get over how cute Shane was. His favourite photo of baby Shane was from Shane’s first Halloween where he was dressed up as a little cat. The first time Ilya saw it he was like “omg Shanya you were actually an angry kitten!! This is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Look at your little pout!”. And ever since he’s been trying to get Shane to dress up as a cat again for Halloween to recreate the photo.

[tinylilhollander]

Shane doesn't want kids. He's never said so in so many words, but Ilya's read between the lines. He remembers Shane's interview after Pike asked him to be his daughter's godfather. How the interviewer had asked if he hoped to have kids of his own one day. How Shane had gone a little blank and guarded the way he does whenever he's asked a difficult question. How he'd come back with a perfect media-trained answer ("Not sure. Right now, my responsibility is making sure the cup comes back to Montreal. That's my baby.") How every similar question after that was met with a similar answer, until eventually reporters learned to stop asking.

So Ilya knows that Shane doesn't want kids. And that's fine. Ilya thinks he does want them, but not so badly that he couldn't live without them if Shane didn't want them. Their family is already perfect, just the two of them. And Ilya gets to help look after Pike's kids sometimes, and he adores those kids, so that's good enough.

That's why Ilya is completely blindsided one day when Shane turns to him after settling all the Pike kids down for their afternoon nap, and says, "Do you think our kids would be this easy to settle if we ever had them?"

And Ilya's so shocked that his brain has to buffer for a moment. He's just staring at Shane, whose cheeks are now flushing with colour. Ilya can't figure out where to start with this conversation, and the longer he's taking to reply the more awkward Shane is getting, until eventually his eyes drop to his hands. "I mean, uh, nevermind. Forget I said anything. I just thought... nevermind."

This snaps Ilya out of it. "Where is this coming from? I thought you didn't want kids?"

And Shane has a little confused frown on his face. "I've always wanted kids. I thought you might not want kids. You always get a little weird when anyone brings it up in conversation. I can't ever get a good read on what you want."

And this is truly not how Ilya thought this conversation was going to go if they ever had it.

"But what about all those interviews where you avoid the question? All that 'the cup is my only baby' stuff...?"

"That's because it's a stupid fucking question and none of their business," Shane laughs. "And also because it's not something I thought I'd ever be able to have. Not when I couldn't imagine ever being happy with a woman. Not when I thought I'd never be with someone I actually wanted to build a life with. But with you? Yeah. Yeah one day when hockey is done, Ilya Rozanov, I'd really like to have kids with you. But only if you want it to."

And Ilya smiles Tampa-bar bright, and swoops in to kiss Shane all giddy and messy, following it up with at least a dozen more peppered all over his face.

"Of course I want to have babies with you. They would be the most beautiful babies in the world," he says. And then he looks around the living room. "How mad do you think Hayden would be if we made our first one right now?"

He's waggling his eyebrows, and Shane laughs and shoves him.

"Fuck off, asshole," he says, leaning in to kiss him again. Before pulling away, lips still brushing Ilya's, Shane mutters, "When we get home, I'll let you try to make as many as you want."

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[hrsocials]

.eighty-nine got a new phone and can post again everybody say yippee

[sweetbabyshane]

Sometimes, when they are out with the team and Shane is in the right mood, he will sip on Ilya's vodka and chase it with his ginger ale. He won't directly ask for his own drink, but Ilya is happy to share, especially when it leads to what Ilya affectionately calls 'brutally honest Shane', who will chirp their friends and call bullshit on anything they say that he disagrees with.

Some of Ilya's favorite appearances of 'brutally honest Shane' are at the Kingfisher with their team, as well as the Admirals.

---

Hunter and Vaughn both rolled their eyes at yet another classic Rozanov chirp. Shane hadn't been listening to that side of the table, as he was enjoying his conversation with Kip about the latest paintings he acquired for a gallery.

"God, Roz, you are a real piece of work. I bet you even chirp the kids at your camps," Carter said, a little too plainly to be a joke. Shane did not like that one bit.

"What? Ilya would never. He is a sweetheart with the kids," Shane countered, turning his attention and leaning into Ilya's side.

Scott huffed a laugh and nodded. "Well, that may be true, but on the ice, he’s a menace. Even you can admit that, Rook."

"Of course he is; it’s a strategy. That is the role he plays. He’s nothing like that off the ice. That's how most of us are, you know that," Shane replied firmly. He knew Ilya enjoyed the chirping when it was fair, but Shane did not like the implication of his husband being bad with children or just genuinely being a 'bad' person.

"You are the same on and off, Hollz," Carter said.

Ilya stopped himself from laughing, but Shane couldn't. He chuckled a bit and then paused before responding. "Oh, wait, you’re serious?"

The entire table went quiet, listening in on the conversation now. Scott was the one to reply. "Uh, yeah, Shane. You are the nicest guy in the league."

"I am definitely not," Shane said, not able to hide his surprise. Ilya had to tuck his face into Shane's shoulder to keep his smile at bay.

"What are you talking about? You are always composed on the ice. You are a good leader, especially for the rookies. All the stripes love you. You don't fight. I mean, you started a whole damn charity. They called you Canada's Golden Boy for a reason, Rook."

Shane rolled his eyes. He appreciated all of Scott's kind words, but sometimes he hated that his reputation always boiled down to that, especially given the pressure of maintaining it.

"I guess that is true. Thank you, but like I said before, that is on the ice. I'm not saying I'm a bad person or anything, but I can be a real bitch. I know that."

Multiple voices called out around the table in contention, shocked by what he just said.

Shane's eyes grew wide, seeing them all react as if this were new information. He thought it was a bit obvious. "What? It’s true!"

Scott set his beer down with a loud clatter on the table. "You aren’t a bitch, Shane. What the hell are you talking about?"

Shane shrugged as he took another bolstering sip of Ilya's vodka, not even bothering to chase this one. "Not all the time, no, but I’m way meaner than Ilya. I just don't chirp you guys to your faces."

Ilya finally joined the conversation with a nod before adding, "Is true. He is like that meme. Looks like cinnamon roll but could kill you. I have been saying Shane Hollander is an asshole for many years, and no one would listen."

Everyone around the table laughed, some sporting expressions of recognition at Ilya's meme comparison. That was until Troy leaned in from his spot across the table.

"Hang on, Hollzy. What do you mean you don't chirp us to our faces?"

Shane leveled Troy with that unimpressed look some of the Centaurs have received after making subpar passing choices or shot attempts at practice.

"Barrett, you really think Ilya comes up with chirps about stats on his own? Or the ones in French? I thought you were smarter than that."

The entire table burst with laughter again, at Troy's expense this time. Kip looked especially pleased with this revelation as he said, "Oh my God, Shane, you really are a bitch. I love this for you."

[shaneposting]

anyway good morning a crucial tenet of hollanov’s relationship is that they’re equals and they’re the only people in the world who could ever be each other’s equal. they were supposed to stand alone at the top but they’re there together. shane does not view ilya as a lazy useless inconvenience. ilya does not view shane as a nagging killjoy. they are equals and they both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread and they love each other but more importantly they LIKE each other. stop making them not like each other!

[shaneposting]

like ilya spends his entire life being told (by people objectively shittier than he is) that he’s not good enough, he’s lazy, he’s undisciplined, he lets people down. and then he meets the one person who would actually be in a position to assess whether ilya is any of those things, and shane just earnestly looks into his fucking soul and says no, they were wrong. ‘you’re an awesome player to watch’ ‘i don’t know that side of you at all’ ‘this isn’t what this is. me and you’

and it’s such a fucking tragedy that people are trying to push MyIlya back into a setting where he’s constantly being lectured about his inadequacies by the very person that canonically reminds him all the time that those inadequacies were figments of his dad’s imagination

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[nettlepixie]

biblically accurate ilya rozanov proposal

[my-2nd-account]

It's so important to me that everyone who meets Ilya feels safe around him. Shane at age 19 trusting him with his body and his sexuality and his reputation therefore his whole career. Svetlana who left home and could've gone anywhere but chose to move to Boston because guess who also lives there. Every person he's ever hooked up with because that's 100+ of people trusting him and saying yes. Yuna and David who spent less than an hour around him (Ilyushka not Rozanov) and accepted him as Shane's boyfriend even though they've spent the last decade hating him on Shane's behalf. Jackie trusting him with her kids after only meeting him once. Harris's family inviting him over so many times. His neighbors' kids making it a habit to wish him good luck before games. Troy coming out to him when it's his first time saying it out loud. Luca asking him for advice because he's finding it hard to "meet people". Coach Wiebe coming out to him and telling him about the guy he was in love with.

He's the safe space he needed growing up. He's the comfort person he wished for when he felt like he had no one. He's the familiar warm presence who has so much love to give to make up for all the love that was taken away from him.

[penandinkprincess]

speaking of Rose Oldest Sibling Landry I know the groupchat goes nuts when she breaks up with Shane. all three brothers texting WHAT HAVE YOU DONE experiencing every stage of grief at once. They almost had The Shane Hollander at Christmas dinner and she ruined it over the petty detail of him being unattracted to her entire gender?? Get out of the WAY, ROSE, IF YOU WON’T DO IT I WILL.

“Liam, you’re straight.”

“so?? what does that have to do with anything??”

i feel like rose wouldn't out shane even to her family, but this does offer the extremely funny idea of her just trying to do the same vague "we weren't compatible" thing and getting ROASTED for it

"hello??? you're an ACTRESS????? you can't fake a relationship long enough to bring him to thanksgiving???"

"SELFISH"

"rose, call people's choice and give them their award back. that's for serious actors, and this shit's a JOKE."

[gaygoatshane]

he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls