I wish she saw me and all of the hideousness and smallness and told me I was beautiful and kissed me - I wish she would come into this room, pull me up to the wall by my neck and hold me there and tell me she hates me and kissed me and choked me and and kissed me and rattled my back into the wall until I didn't exist - I wish I woke up next to her and the sun was warm on the bed and she'd roll over and tell me good morning my love and I could curl up and she would hold me .










