radfems are rad

21 ♀ XX ♀ febfem ♀ 2nd blog moved to radfemfox4

[radfemfox4-deactivated20230703]

intro

this is my 4th blog, I had miku pfps on the others if you know me from there. reblog so I can find my old moots! i archived my main so i'll be migrating my posts here from now on.

radfem, merf

*_ ...under construction... _*

[radfemfox3]

tumblr won't let me reblog this, but this is regarding this post by @pinkradfem

It takes less than a minute to see that this isn't just a few bad actors. These are hundreds of people, some of whom act on these threats.

We know your entire community isn't like this. But a significant, loud portion of you are.

Unlike tras who generalize radfems as misogynistic tradwife conservative terfs (oxymoron, by the way), we actually understand that some trans people want to live their lives undetected. Gender dysphoria is a serious mental illness that shouldn't be treated flippantly.

We are also painfully aware of multiple bad actors (Eli Erlick comes to mind instantly, but numerous other cases are significant and don't get much media coverage) that put a very bad taste in our mouths with regards to trans people.

Someone who says they're a terf misgenders you once, and you generalize terfs/radfems as being transphobic bigots who intentionally misgender trans people.

It's hard to sympathize with a group who won't even attempt to understand who we are and what we're contesting. Implying that we're taking jokes too seriously (read: hysterical) and then playing the sympathy card isn't something that'll get any legitimate response.

[iotaaurigae]

Also the “half of these are jokes” just reminds me of when a man says something dumb and misogynistic and tries to pass it off as “just a joke bro”

[radfemfox4-deactivated20230703]

Re: this post

A "lesbian" TiM came out of the woodwork to tell me how disgusting I am for critiquing a definition of woman I was given.

I wonder if you might be projecting.

Hm. With this charming personality, you must have women begging to date you! The incel to transbian pipeline can't be real, right?

...oh. it's almost like lesbians are homosexual females, and no amount of LARPing can change that.

Thanks for the input on my personality, though. Very appreciated.

[radfemfox4-deactivated20230703]

I'd like to address a definition of woman I was given by a trans woman in response to this post. I'd first like to thank this person for giving me a different perspective without being combattive.

An identity is difficult to define because it's different for every individual who uses that identity.

If it's different for every individual, then why use a definitive term at all? What does the term mean if it has no meaning? Why use a subjective term that requires an explanation?

Women have one thing in common, regardless of ethnicity, race, religion, sexual orientation, country of origin, personality, favourite colour, style, height, etc... We're all female. That is how the "identity" of "woman" is defined, no matter how different we might all be, we have this one thing in common no matter what.

I contest the use of the term "identity" for this reason.

I define myself as a woman because my whole being was shaped by the women around me

Weird way to say "I want to skinwalk as my mother/sister/girlfriends".

Personally, my being was shaped primarily by abuse inflicted upon me by males in my life. Does that make me a man, because I was "shaped" by these experiences? Or does that make me my own person, regardless of who or what "shaped" me?

If a child makes a snowman, is that snowman now a child, because the child created it? No, it's a snowman.

The identity of "man" brings me great discomfort

A significant portion of people do not fit into traditional gender norms or roles, or feel uncomfortable with what was imposed upon them either subtly or overtly. No one is solely a stereotypical "man" or "woman", your identity doesn't have to be centered around your gender.

That doesn't negate the fact that gender itself is intrinsically linked to sex. It's a socio-economic class in a hierarchy under men. This categorization is used to oppress those of the female sex.

Just because I'm uncomfortable (understatement of the year) with the roles imposed upon me because of my sex doesn't mean I am not a woman, or that I can identify out of my reality.

Being able to indentify into and out of oppression because you're "uncomfortable" shows how much privilege you have.

I'm not going to dissect my whole identity for you here

This reads as "my identity is too complex for you to comprehend". If you need to "dissect" your identity as a woman, which should be fairly simple to do, then you need to think long and hard about why you prefer to be called a woman.

We're pretty clearly a group of women and every time I've been in this situations we are treated as a group of women. I feel like that makes my identity as a woman valid.

"Passing" as a woman, either by acting stereotypically feminine, wearing stereotypically feminine clothing, or just looking feminine in general does not make you a woman. Just because someone addresses you as your preferred pronouns doesn't mean that they see you as a woman, either. They might just be being polite. You'd have no way of knowing.

Hinging your identity on the validation of others means you're constantly performing, constantly aware of how you look, speak, act... It's exhausting. It might work sometimes, or even most times, but as long as you depend on other people to validate your identity, you won't feel truly free or genuine.

I can go out in public in a sweatsuit without makeup and I'll still be perceived as woman. If I get misgendered, I won't feel my entire world crumble around me, because I'm secure in my identity, without needing outside validation.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that this isn't your entire reasoning for being a woman, since you prefaced this by stating it's an anecdote to illustrate your point. I think it's very telling that you chose this specific instance, though.

Whether you feel otherwise is fine to me

I somehow doubt that, since you stated this after explaining how being perceived as a woman by others makes you a woman.

You do not fit the definition of woman because you are male. Women are allowed to be uncomfortable about that or still perceive you as a man.

[radfemfox4-deactivated20230703]

Question for trans women

Define woman. That's it! Simple, right?

1 rule: you can't say "anyone who identifies as a woman." That's circular and doesn't indicate what a woman is.

So, when you say you are a trans woman, what are you identifying as, specifically?

Back when "transsexual" was a thing, people would say, "I feel more like the opposite sex, so I will change my physical characteristics to match those of the opposite sex." This is still nonsensical, as you can't identify out of your biological sex and into the other. Now that it's become transgender, though, it's even more complex.

The definition of gender has changed significantly over the past few years, from a social construct and class intrinsically linked to sex to something you can identify into and out of. This varies wildly between who you ask, though.

I fully expect not to get legitimate responses to this, since trans people seem to get hostile when faced with any sort of criticism, but I thought I'd give it a try on my new blog now.

[radfemfox4-deactivated20230703]

Why I'm here

I thought i'd give some context as to why I'm a radfem, febfem and MERF. This might be a better pinned post than a generic intro, since all that stuff can just go in my bio.

I don't like the term "TERF," because it implies that TiFs aren't included in feminism. It's also used by men to discredit anything women have to say as "TERF rhethoric" and to abuse women that disagree with them. Truly, most radfems use the term to exclude TiMs, so male exclusionary radical feminism (MERF) makes more sense to me. I still use TERF tags for reach, though.

I've been thinking about how ingrained my hatred for womanhood was when I was younger. I always felt fundamentally disadvantaged because of who i was, but I didn't know why.

I used to hate my female features so much that i feel like if I were exposed to the idea of being transgender as a teenager, I would've fallen into that trap.

This is a personal story and a rant. Please be advised that I'll be talking about physical abuse, sexual abuse, involuntary pornography, self-harm, and bullying. If you don't feel that you can continue, please don't force yourself to. Simply getting this out in the open is liberating for me.

Being female was the reason I was abused, that I had no power whatsoever. I was bullied for not having breasts at 14, and when I finally started to develop, I was harassed and assaulted. I was made fun of for the underwear i was wearing while i was being assaulted.

I kept it to myself for a long time. I believed it was my fault. I was ashamed. Everyone knew, and I could tell. They could see through my clothes. Later on, a man who went to my school informed me that there were photos taken and circulated. No one had the decency to tell me.

When I confided in a trusted school official about the bullying and abuse I was going through, they thought I was being dramatic. I had self-harm wounds all over my arms. "The boys you accused all said you were crazy," of course they did. Ask any of my friends. They can testify to my physical injuries. They never did. My friends were female. The teachers saw what I was going through and did nothing.

When I fought back, when I finally snapped and hit and screamed and kicked and punched, I did nothing. I was simply made more of a laughingstock. I had never felt more powerless than in that moment. The pure, unadulterated rage flowing through my veins was boiling, hot, I could've spit fire at these people if I had the power. In that moment, it really sunk in that i was powerless because I was female. I didn't have the strength to beat this man to a pulp for what he said to me. For what he did to me. I wish I did.

When I was voted "most likely to be a slut" at graduation, despite having had a steady relationship for a few years at the time, the school did absolutely nothing to stop the "awards ceremony" from taking place. I didn't attend.

There was no way for me to win. I didn't have the strength, both mental and physical, to fight back after my first and last outburst. I always had to "keep sweet," walk on eggshells, be reasonable, take the high road, because men were unwilling to make compromises. My own mother taught me this because she was assaulted, too, as a teen and as an adult. She tried her best to protect me by teaching me how to appease the males in my life.

Little did she know that it makes no difference whether you appease them or not. I tried it both ways. So did she. Either you're a handmaid or you're a crazy psycho bitch. Either way, you don't win.

I am permanently disabled from the abuse I went through. I have trouble with penetrative sexual intercourse because of scar tissue. I have trouble with sexual relations in general because my body goes into fight or flight. Maintaining relationships, especially with men, even in a work environment, is extremely difficult. I can't trust anyone.

Seeing the man that abused me say he is now a woman peaked me. The fact that this man, with no respect for women and girls, is now a "stunning and brave" woman, without any pushback from anyone, is insane. I'm still shaking in anger about it all. Seeing him put on a frilly dress, the same underwear he made fun of me for, stuff his bra, haphazardly put on lipstick and everyone cheer him on for it disgusts me. I saw him get praise and adoration for performing a misogynist's view of femininity, by other women no less. Women I had confided in as a scared girl. I will not entertain this.

That is not what being a woman is, I thought. This isn't right. How can people believe this? It's bullshit. To poorly skinwalk as your teenaged victim is absolute insanity. To see men claim that they are now better women than actual women is peak misogyny. He is not a woman, I will not refer to him as anything other than a fucking rapist.

Womanhood is defined by being female. Period.

Radical feminism helped me see that a lot of women refuse to put up with this shit, we're just silenced. If someone were to comment on his post saying "no, you're a man", they'd lose their fucking job.

Radical feminism helped me change my view on my body and womanhood as a whole, specifically with body neutrality, not positivity. Half the world population is a woman born with this body. This beautiful, amazing body. My breasts are not sexual, they aren't a toy for men to play with. They are an organ to feed any future children I might have. My vulva is perfect the way it is. I'm getting closer and closer to easing my vaginismus when I have the strength to.

To think I might have chosen to permanently alter my body in order to make myself as undesirable as possible is horrifying. A lot of detrans female stories are so similar to my own that i get goosebumps reading them.

If I were offered top surgery at 16, I probably would have done it. From my perspective at the time, my breasts were the root cause of my suffering. I grew up to be a proud woman confident in her own skin, so it's scary to think that in my darkest days I might have chosen one of the most irreversible forms of self harm there is.

Not sure how to end this, so I'll leave it at that.

Anonymous asks are open if you'd like to share your experience with girl/womanhood or your peak trans story.

[phantasmicwraith-deactivated202]

TOKYO (AP) — Women's rights activists in Japan renewed their demand Wednesday for the government to allow married couples the option to keep

we love to see it

[strange-boss-deactivated2023071]

Genuinely can trans rights activists define what a woman is without being weird and sexist. Is there any way to define a woman other than “adult human female” that doesn’t boil down to weird sexist ideas. Genuinely asking

[strange-boss-deactivated2023071]

I will donate 50 bucks to your transition gofundme if there’s a way to define a woman other than “adult human female” that isn’t misogynistic

[strange-boss-deactivated2023071]

Genuinely can trans rights activists define what a woman is without being weird and sexist. Is there any way to define a woman other than “adult human female” that doesn’t boil down to weird sexist ideas. Genuinely asking

[jendahsucks-blog]

do people really not see the irony of habitually telling women to choke and die, then turning around and calling them violent just because they want to have a space where they don’t have to interact with the people who are regularly telling them to choke and die?

[kinkshaming-butler]

The ones calling you violent aren’t the ones telling you to choke and die. The ones who want your respect aren’t the ones telling you to choke and die 

[jendahsucks-blog]

so which category do you fancy yourself in?

[kinkshaming-butler]

Jeeeeze did you search my blog? That’s a nice tactic, actually. Those are pretty old, and back in a time when I was dealing with a lot of self hate and stuff IRL, and I was taking it out on everyone at the time. At that point, I was wrong and a glorified troll. You have different posts from different points in time while I was learning how to cope with my anger. 

[jendahsucks-blog]

I can literally scroll down two pages on your blog and find antifeminist content. Anyway, you’re incorrect, most people I’ve seen who talk about raping or killing “TERFs” do it out of a twisted sense that threatening women constitutes trans activism. It may have started at Camp Trans but it sure didn’t stop there. 

[e-cryptid-deactivated20180601]

I hate this argument that lesbians should be attracted to how someone passes because then… a what point is a “cis” womyn not feminine enough for a lesbian to be a lesbian and have sex with her? I got called “sir” several times today. Is my gf somehow bi now? Am I bi because I’ve had and enjoyed sex with womyn who pass as male? With womyn with lots of body hair or deep voices or without breasts? If a womyn is as hairy and muscular and masucline as that theoretical transman is she not female enough for it to be okay for me to be attracted to her? What if she is but she puts on a dress and lipstick? Is it okay then?

I’m not attracted to some male defined concept of femininity. I’m attracted to females.

[monsterleg]

they pose these stupid gotcha questions (surely they know where we stand by now?), and we respond with “yes actually lesbians are attracted to females of all sizes and body types and appearances”–

and then they just fucking…ignore that and insist that no, actually, you gender-essentialist “terfs” think the only acceptable way to be female is to be thin and curvy and feminine. they claim that “terf lesbians” outright reject gnc and male-passing women when that is absolutely, demonstrably false. it’s total BS

[lecisbian-deactivated20250918]

My partner passed and could still pass despite detransition. T doesn’t make biological sex disappear!

[coochiequeens]

This has the same energy as Why can't my friends get laid?

[lithiumic]

Respect girls who are virgins respect girls who suck 7 dicks at a time respect girls who don’t like dick respect girls who have dicks

[altoid-archive-deactivated20170]

idk if i’m reading this wrong but why put respect girls who don’t like dick with respect girls who have dicks. to me this kind of translates to “respect terfs and trans girls the same”

[thecottongaslight]

@terfmeanslesbian

[exclusionaryhomosexual-deactiva]

another instance of terf means lesbian and all lesbians are terfs (who don’t deserve respect because they don’t like dick)

[11knives-deactivated20171005]

Post: Respect girls who suck 7 dicks! Transacts: Yup yup, sounds good, yeah agreed Post: Respect girls who dont like dick! Transacts: NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE

[she-is-ovarit]

[ms-hells-bells]

SECKIN??? that's dr tamer seckin, considered among the top endometriosis experts in the WORLD. he founded the endometriosis foundation of america, and is a philanthropist that uses the money he gets from his books that he's written about endo to fund research at an endo specialist centre that he paid to build, as well as other medical institutes, and giving talks and lessons about new techniques to other doctors and medical universities. he is the mainstream pioneer that got manual tissue excision, as opposed to the superficial and damaging laser type surgeries, to be considered the gold standard, and the newer taught technique at medical schools around the world. that's both amazing and horrifying, because it means that while she got the gold standard, best treatment, she would have had to specifically seek him out in new york city, and be on a long waiting list (unless he travelled to her), she was that desperate to have her pain dealt with.

this man changed my life as well. i was initially rejected by doctors for referral to a specialist for my disabling menstrual symptoms (and gastro symptoms that were later found to have been caused by my endo). i was told to put up with it, and just stick to birth control, 'you don't really NEED a diagnosis, do you?'. i later went to the library and got out a few books about endometriosis. one of them was 'endoMEtriosis: a guide for girls' by dr tamer sekin (highly recommend all women read it). due to that book alone, i was 100% convinced that not only did i have endometriosis, but that i need to keep advocating for myself and seeing doctors until one took me seriously.

it took another year, but finally i had a specialist agree to do a diagnostic laparoscopy, which confirmed that my pelvis was riddled with endo lesions, BUT it was stage two, so the endo had not left my pelvis, and little of it had scarified yet, meaning it was the best time to do excision surgery, as it would be easier, less risky, more long lasting, and prevent long lasting damage from later stage endo. and not only that, but they used techniques that HE in part pioneered/pushed into the mainstream in order to do my surgery; internal dye, organ manipulation techniques to better remove endo, and a combination of different methods and tools (this place DID use lasers for a part of my surgery, and it unfortunately likely caused some internal scarring i'm having issues with, but compared to endo it's manageable). even their choice to remove the endo at an earlier stage, as opposed to the old and mainstream method of waiting until it's severe largely originates from him, the EFA he founded has been the biggest advocate of such practice. of course, he isn't the sole pioneer, the sole voice, the sole researcher, the sole new technique advocator, but he has been such an integral part in the shift from laser to excision, and early detection, that he has changed the lives of at minimum THOUSANDS of women.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

/r/detrans

Try to write a more disturbing body-horror movie. I dare you.

[bumblee-stumblee]

I don’t like that you called it body-horror, you can express yourself about this anyway you want but there’s no reason to relate this the way you have when this person is already hurting.

[freckledscum-deactivated2023071]

Some of yall are really nasty to detrans people for no reason. She needs support

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

Can you please just shut up about you for one second

[laynemorgan]

Is it transphobic if I'm a gay woman who would date all kinds of queer women (no matter sex at birth) but i just wouldn't touch my partner's genitalia if it happened to be a penis? Like I would date a trans woman but not touch her there pre op.

Again, y’all are spending way too much time dissecting someone else’s genitals. It’s none of your business what’s in their pants, and if it becomes your business, you will have that conversation with your partner. Just take a breath. It’s actually, not that deep.

[adora-korra]

honestly I think you should ask yourself *why* you wouldn’t touch their genitals. if you found this person sexually attractive, liked spending time with them, enjoyed dating them, loved their personality, clicked really well them, had a lot of passion together…. what you’d just be like sorry nevermind can’t do this?? because of what’s between their legs??

I just don’t buy that. I think ya’ll make these caricatures of trans women in your heads before actually giving anyone a try. or you date one trans person and think we’re all carbon copies of that person.

maybe instead of generalizing us all you could handle your attraction on a case by case basis, just see if you’re attracted to someone or not and see where that leads.

like I get it, some people ain’t into dick, but it is important to question *why*. why do you have such an aversion to it and is it possibly a cissexist world view you’ve grown up in? that’s it, that’s all anyone’s asking.

[thecottongaslight]

full disclosure: riley makes videos where she says things like this and she gets paid for it. this isn’t just her freely-given opinion, this is her activism. this is her actual job: asking lesbians to reconsider why they don’t like penises. 

but look at this contradiction:

riley: make sure you analyze why you wont touch a penis. why? what if this happened? what if that happened? what is it about the penis that bothers you? could it be that you’re actually internalizing a toxic ideology related by your clearly unnatural aversion to penises? 

laynemorgan: y’all are spending way too much time dissecting other people’s genitals 

how can lesbians win? we’re shamed for thinking about our penis repulsion and also shamed for not thinking about it enough. 

don’t forget that the emotion primarily invoked and exploited by manipulative groups is guilt. this article is about the LDS church, but i feel that it’s extremely relevant to this kind of rhetoric, keeping in mind that there is no evidence whatsoever that a woman who is innately repulsed by penises can change this about herself through questioning her political beliefs. some highlights:

It is important that these standards are held impossibly high, so that members are never able to reach the goal of what they “should” be, and as such, they never feel as if they measure up.  The goals themselves are presented as possible to attain (in this life, or maybe some other one), and thus the standards never become suspect, only the member who is not meeting them. 

Sometimes the over-focus on what one should not do further stimulates the desire to do it.  If I tell you now to not think of an elephant, it becomes difficult to do anything other than think of an elephant. 

Perpetually falling short, a person can feel worthless in the sight of God and his fellows.  This gives the organization more power to control, as the person keeps striving for something they can never attain. 

and finally, regarding “terf” lesbians:

Holding impossibly high standards serves another purpose.  Each member knows exactly how difficult it is to live the commandments.  When a member then sees someone leave the Church, an easy assumption is that the apostate has succumbed to the forces that the member is (barely) able to resist.  In judging them, the member feels elevated, and just a little closer to that elusive goal of perfection.

[limemacaron]

CLEARLY UNNATURAL AVERSION TO PENISES

CLEARLY UNNATURAL AVERSION TO PENISES

CLEARLY UNNATURAL AVERSION TO PENISES

who said it: trans activist or mra (advanced edition)

[toppdyke]