A long vent directed towards this blog and community (by Rue/SirDerealist)
When we discovered radqueer, I had the idea to make the world a better place to make the RQisLove blog/pages and Discord server to spread radqueer positivity. I was not heavily online before that, we didn't understand the type of weight and drama that happens on tumblr as I had not used it long before except for rarely some art, and basically grew up under a rock. (We should have known though, as even being pro-ship is hard, they will gatekeep you because they view you as a danger)
All of the things here with people picking sides and hate on people is hurting and draining us, with people trying to now bring us down, lie about us, pry us for answers and proof about this or that about people we follow or know, it is like every time we try to explain ourselves (no matter what it is) it only leads to people twisting our words or picking out very random things to make mountains out of molehills and get their followers on different sides. Sometimes they try to say we are using AI to type if they don't understand our words or jump right away to harassment, they could be pro or anti this or that but it doesn't matter, I cannot prove or disprove anything because emotionally-charged assumptions are much louder than we can handle... they will try to get you angry and charged so they can get you to say something mean so they can "prove" now you are a bad person. It is utterly exhausting to deal with. So that is why I am hesitant to say anything to people I'm not on an interpersonal trusted level with, that is one reason we are hesitant to trust people, talk about our sides, make callouts or anything like that, because it always feels non-productive to us no matter who is in the wrong.
My host made the "statement" doc on Perseus to help Husked with theirs but I do not agree that is what we should have done, I am considering deleting it but I am scared people will just then say we are trying to hide things or come after us further, but really, we never signed up for this sort of thing nor were we ready to face it. Well I just today let Monika back in my server, and now I am getting people being rude to me for it and begging me for answers I am not obligated to give and that is what sparked this post. When all I am doing is stretching out my hand to someone who asked to be accepted. At times it even makes me want to take down the blog and server entirely so I can ignore all of it but I know I am doing it for some of those people who need the support and want their radqueer questions answered... so I am of the mindset that I refuse to take it down and let oppressors win. However, I may have to make more of an effort to instead make things private or leave radqueer community entirely and branch out in other places, it may honestly be the right thing for me to do right now is abandon my project and I am really seeing some of my system members can't hold their tongue or help run this appropriately either.
I do not want to be personally involved with anyone here, at the end of the day I am a disabled plural person, I am just trying my best, and nobody seems to be able to respect that. They choose to see everything we say as to get some kind of reaction, attention, anything they can't wrap their heads around because it is not the normal expectation, that can really wear and tear on a person's sense of self-worth. Who we are is not even the radqueer norm, which I myself don't understand but it is how it is. I am not somehow wrong or evil for being kind to people no matter how its spun how evil that person I am kind to is. I am just a guy trying to make people happier. That is ALL I wanted to do from the start. But apparently that is not what people do and we should just kill or shun everyone we don't like or agree with? No, no, no. I will never EVER be like that.
I will have to say, our experience on this site and in this community has been a terrible one. Since the very start, all the way to early/mid last year, we were accused of lots of things and told to kill ourselves because we questioned someone who was anti-AI harassing someone else and asked them to consider all perspectives. Ok, well apparently that made us an Earth-hating murderer. Then later on got involved with these people like Monika and Perseus and Husked and everything. So now I guess that makes us groomers and apologists too. We got a blog termed just for posting transID flags too, during the peak of our hyperfixation on the flags and terms, it was all gone in an instant. Don't get me wrong, I am glad to make the maybe 2 or 3 genuine acquaintances through some of these things who more align with our beliefs, but I feel like all the other dozens of negativity makes it not worth it.
And I CANNOT allow ourselves as a plural system to get roped into things, be exposed to harmful ideas, engage with drama, feed the emotional narrative, etc. That is NOT what we came here to do. And frankly, this blog is not even for radqueers, it is for antis to learn about radqueer. It is for the people on antiradqueer sub to reconsider how they treat people, etc. It is for YOU guys to RECONSIDER how you TREAT PEOPLE. But what is the point in teaching them about it... if they really are just going to find themselves in a space where they will be groomed, harassed, and hated? Can not any of you control yourselves and think in a compassionate manner?
End of vent. I don't know what the future of any of this holds you could see us deactivate in a week or just continue reposting stuff.