This is My Sanctuary.

Raeesah might mean princess, but we all know I'm a queen.

[raeesahislam]

He’s what you want when you’re on meds All until you run out Then he’s a mess

Take another sip To drown it away Use it all up Just to feel good again

Fuck up a fortune With a drink and a drug They heal faster than a prayer But take up your good luck

With sin after sin It feels good enough To let go again Who gives a fuck

Things change And so do we As long as we’re sane Measurements stay the same

But if we hold on We get to the end We get to live This is our heaven

Forgive and forget It’s not over yet Trust in a virtue It’ll never hurt you

[raeesahislam]

[raeesahislam]

[raeesahislam]

What is Utopia Feni?

Dearest Reader,

Since our unofficial opening in August, I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to describe what exactly Utopia Feni Creative Studios is. My basic answer for this was that its an art gallery/studio/boutique that hosts exhibitions, art classes, and other community events that also runs a non-profit charity for Feni, Bangladesh. It felt a bit clumsy since there were even more aspects to what we were, but I didn’t know how to articulate it. I know that every time I talk about it, it sounds different than it was the last week. The truth is that I’ve been working on this project for the past five years, and its been developing every day through the pure motion of winging it.

My vision for Utopia Feni Creative Studios is that it will eventually become a fully sustainable pseudo artists-commune that features the work of local artists and artisans. The plan is to perfect the gallery space into an eclectic sanctuary, and to build a community art garden that will be filled with fresh fruits, vegetables, and chickens running around; like the pure atmosphere of being in Feni itself. It will have shared studio space where members and small creative businesses can work together. It’s a positive, safe space for collaborations. It’s a place that’s meant to be whatever it turns out to be.

Utopia Feni Inc. is specifically the non-profit aspect of our brand. That’s the part that supports local emerging artists and building the art program in Feni. At this stage, all of our money is going into sustaining the gallery and raising funds to hire Nizkunjara High School its very first art instructor. This is only the beginning of what Utopia Feni was built to be. The end goal is to establish an ethical sourcing company in the village. I’m not sure if this will happen in my lifetime, but I hope the art programs inspire students to build something for themselves.The funding for this project will come from donations and products that I design/ commission for our brand.

What it boils down to is that Utopia Feni is a lifestyle. It’s valued on being simple, natural, and glamorous. It’s not about being politically correct or implying one way of living is better than the other. It’s about accepting life for what it is, and learning how to live every moment as beautifully as possible. It serves as inspiration to embrace your opportunities, because living a life you want to live is worth it. 

It’s hard to believe in myself on a day-to-day basis, but I'm confident that right now, this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Every struggle and every success will be worth it. It’s amazing that what I’m building is actually developing and I can see it with my own eyes. I am so fortunate for my opportunities and my support system through my family and this new community. I understand my privilege, and I’m eternally grateful for everything in my life. I hope to share this magical feeling with as many people as I can. Thank you for reading this, you are now a part of this too.

Genuinely,

Raeesah. 

[raeesahislam]

Happy 40th Anniversary Mother and Father

There aren’t enough words for me to describe how lucky I am to be theirs. 

[raeesahislam]

Even my backyard is P$

[raeesahislam]

Utopia Feni Creative Studios

It began in the summer of 2011. I was in a post- graduate funk of not knowing what to do with my life since I didn’t apply to college. I recently graduated from The Governors School for the Arts and it was the greatest place I’d ever known. I left after four years of growing up there and it was a time for slight panic. I was lost. I then searched for a reason to be happy. Something wonderful changed how I felt when I visited London. I fell in love with the city and I noticed a total polar shift in the way I lived. I really started to believe in magic. After I flew home, I applied to school at The London College of Fashion, interviewed and got accepted a fortnight later, and moved soon after that. It was an amazing chain of events that I couldn’t stop picturing and it happened. I went through a new appreciation for life where I began believing good beliefs brought me good luck.

When I moved to London, I was like a child in a candy store. I made every impulsive decision yet not enough good decisions. I was too naïve, and I needed to pull myself back. I wanted to feel more and more pure everyday while still remaining active. That December, we visited my grandmother in Feni, Bangladesh. I had gone there as a child with little appreciation for what it was. With my newfound maturity, my feelings about it grew into something beautiful that trip. I fell in love with something I’ve always been a part of despite its many drawbacks:

A. Most of the houses are made of metal shacks and hay.

B. Electricity and clean water are not constants.

C. Bats fly out of trees instead of birds.

3. You take showers with a bucket.

4. Roosters wake everyone up at the crack of dawn.

▲. Etc.

This environment is inconvenient for an American, yet it is so amazingly serene and quiet. Everything there is to do in Feni is pure. We simply go on walks, watch the sky, drink out of freshly picked coconuts, go to the market, and spend quality time with family. There is rarely a distraction. It's the most beautiful place I can think of. I’ve never felt closer to the universe from anywhere else. I do feel overly privileged for treating this lifestyle like a vacation getaway and I wish I could balance the feeling out. I want to do what I can for the children living in such poverty to live better lives. I've always felt very privileged as a first generation American. My parents were literally dirt poor and worked all the way up to their upper-middle class American status. It's hard to complain when they've given me literally everything and required not much in return. I justify any privilege to myself by remembering how sick I get. It somewhat balances out? Even without my health, I feel like I owe them something grand. I want to do what I can do to honor my parents and to give to the people who need help. I need to pay it back and forward. I started working on Utopia Feni in 2012 when I was assigned a marketing project at LCF. I began with writing about making an ethical sourcing company to build the economy in Feni, Bangladesh. It was a place where I could employ, house, and pay workers fairly. With every project I was assigned, I was able to establish this hypothetical brand more and more. It eventually grew into a solid idea for something even more complex, yet my desire to design declined. My priorities shifted. In order to actually make a successful company in Feni, I knew I would have to start making money and establishing myself from where I am. Utopia Feni Creative Studios was born out of post meningitis confusion.  It was the first day I felt slightly better from a season of being ill (followed by a month long ordeal of having my brain attack me). It grew from a conversation I was having with my good friend, Justin. We were discussing the postgraduate existential crisis of "Now what?” We thought about becoming nomads with a renovated school bus where we lived a life with a lot of art and traveling. We researched how much effort it would take to do that and we then realized how impractical it was (at the time). I knew I definitely needed to start somewhere if I was ever going to get out of this panic. Starting small is hard for me. My work doesn’t make sense until I’m finished. I really do have to work backwards in order to make sense of what I’m doing, like cheating on a maze. In this case, I needed a sanctuary in order to build an empire. Then I realized.. “My parents had an office space that hasn't been rented out in months, I should totally do something with it. “

(One of the more privileged moments in my life)

I've always had Utopia Feni in my mind but suddenly it could be real and it could be the answer to all of my problems. (Two birds!) This idea developed into a pop-up gallery, which developed into a gallery, studio, and a boutique. 

With the help of my friends and family, we officially opened August 15th, 2015. Every month, UFCS hosts "Talent Show" an exhibition featuring a variety of amazing local artists with their many forms of creativity. We have semi-frequent art classes taught by experienced artists and crafters in the area. In the boutique, we mostly consign from crafters within Hampton Roads. We have a beautiful variety of either locally handmade pieces or pieces directly from Bangladesh. This is a place where every consigner is passionate about their product. They love what they make and it shows through the quality of their craftsmanship. We love to support artists near and far. We want to help artists take the next step in whatever their creative path is. I love UFCS like it’s my own baby. I want to watch it grow, do its best, sacrifice my time for it. I am so proud of what it stands for. Every day I live, I will develop it into something more established. I aim to make it more accessible and to inspire people into something greater.

As of October 2015, Utopia Feni Inc. will officially become a non-profit organization. I would like to thank everyone who helped me get to this point. Whether it was acceptance or rejection, it got me to where I am supposed to be.

[raeesahislam]

UFCS Gift Shop (Before Transformation 2015)

[raeesahislam]

[utopiafenicreativestudios]

[raeesahislam]

AUGUST 15TH 2015 @ 5PM

[thepartyslut]

[thepartyslut]

[raeesahislam]

Interior design is a great hobby for a sick girl. 

[raeesahislam]

Life update: I am recovering from meningitis and feeling better

[raeesahislam]

Simplicity is the most valuable concept in the world.

[utopiagallery]

[raeesahislam]

Believe in Something.

Personally, I believe in the universe. I believe the universe blankets all of the (logical) qualities of religion and science. It’s the way for me to get back to the simplest form of being, while experiencing life with a little more magic. I believe that fundamentally, if you have no reason to doubt something, there is no reason it shouldn’t happen.

Reasons can be based on logic or pure wonder of the heart.  That is why science and faith need to co-exist. Science is why magic makes sense. It only makes sense that there is some truth to religion (irrationality, extremism, and ignorance are a different story all together). A system of belief is the explanation of why things happen to us, regardless of what someone else believes.

Religion as its own concept works, as it ignites your faith into routine and consistently proves itself to be true. It makes someone believe their prayers are what keep the good luck going. Science proves what we see, which is why it’s more solid. With more proof involved, there is less room for doubt. It doesn’t matter which route you take, either works as long as you aren’t living to hurt others.

We hear and brush off simple concepts that are widely believed in some form.

                                  “Be careful what you wish for.”

                               “Everything happens for a reason.”

                              “What goes around comes around.”

Clichés are as real as life gets and they are easily taken for granted. The truisms we hear from others don’t hold much gravity if we don’t understand what they mean.The only way to see them is to believe in them. Life isn’t as random as we wish it were. “Virtues” have real world rewards just as “sins” have real world repercussions. We hear the same formulas for the same concepts everyday, to the point they seem meaningless.

The truth is no matter what system of belief; the system is generally the same. “Work hard play hard” mentality is definitely effective. With hard work, you believe you deserve more, which can lead to living out your dreams. Living on another frequency of being simple and meditative can make your life more peaceful, but it balances out with a little more doubt. Both routes are equally beautiful. As humans, we tend to fluctuate between the two.  

This is what I’ve learned from studying the general concepts of faith.

When we finish a journey, it didn’t matter what our legacy was, all that could have mattered was how we felt about it.

 Living life to the fullest means taking risks, which is as rewarding as it is manic.

Living a calm simple life is rewarding in different but easier way, with less excitement.

 We only get what we can handle. Everyone is doing their best (even if you think their best is shitty).

Someone will always have more powerful struggles than you; someone else will always be more trivial to you.

There is no point in worrying about something if you have no intention to fix it.

Worry, doubt, and not acting on opportunities we want, are our downfall.

Intentionally harming yourself and hurting others (emotionally and physically) are causes of every sin.

Intention is everything. The universe doesn’t give a fuck about ignorance or misunderstandings. We only know what we believe.

No matter what happens, it will be okay. Acceptance is key.

Clichés are real as shit.