I am home after traveling a few weeks and the comfort of my house rituals made me think of this moment. If he could've, Ilya would have moved heaven and earth for Shane to meet his mother. The Long Game gave Ilya a silent Mom in his dreams. I wanted his acceptance of his feelings for Shane to reach all the way to those dreams and give her voice.
I hope you enjoy "Catching Up."
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“ … wasn’t sure we could be in same place for days. And, I was so terrified, like baby. I kept thinking, what if he hated me after first day? You won’t believe it, but I sometimes rub people wrong. I know! Sounds impossible to me too.”
A hand snaked around Ilya’s bare midriff as his rapid-fire Russian ended and he resumed brushing his teeth. Someone was finally awake.
“I'm almost afraid to ask who you’re talking to,” Shane murmured, his adorable, disheveled head appearing over his shoulder. He barely cleared it. There’s no way he wasn’t on his tip toes. He drew himself up to his full height and Shane’s forehead was the only thing still visible.
“Say that again with your feet flat on floor.”
Shane’s head disappeared and he chuckled, pulling him around to stand in front of him. He kissed Shane’s cheek, getting toothpaste on it. A rumpled, morning Shane was in his top three favorite versions of the man.
“Gross.” Shane wiped away the toothpaste then kissed him on the mouth anyway. “You didn’t answer my question.”
Shane huffed and poked him between his pecs.
“Were you talking to someone or reciting some weird Slavic poem?”
Shane looked around the empty bathroom and sighed.
“Alright, how long have you been concussed and why didn’t you tell me?”
He laughed and leaned over to rinse out his mouth in the second sink. His little worrywart.
“Head is okay. You’d know if I took a hit that hard.”
“I would know that, how? You hide all your injuries so you can keep playing.”
“You’d still know if I was concussed. You watch every second of my games, even the highlights. Don’t deny.” He kissed Shane with his peppermint fresh tongue. “I would expect you to know if I had a bug bite at this point, Captain Hollander.” It still stung that Shane had been chosen as the All-Star team captain again for the games next month.
Shane rolled his eyes, smiling.
“Maybe. Now, who were you talking to because I don’t see your phone.”
His face heated from the bathroom steam and definitely not for any other reason. He hadn’t thought about Shane asleep in the next room when he was doing his morning routine. This habit, one he’d been embarrassed for anyone to know, had just thoughtlessly kicked in.
Shane’s heavy eyebrows rose in points.
“Does she … answer you back?”
He laughed and kissed Shane’s nose.
“No. Not really. Mostly, it’s me talking. I can … I can hear her voice in my head sometimes. Her laugh too.”
Shane’s curious expression softened into naked affection.
“Do you do that a lot? Talk to her, I mean.”
He rubbed Shane’s hips through his t-shirt, which fell to the tops of his naked thighs.
“Yes. When I am home or in hotel alone.”
“But, you’re not alone in this hotel.”
He smiled, heart indignant that Shane sometimes couldn’t see what was most obvious to him.
Confused, Shane’s eyebrows knitted.
“Shane, you’re here. I am home.”
The love of his life melted into a Shane shaped pile of goo. He was still astounded by how casually and how often he admitted his utter investment in this relationship. It was like his mouth was a broken, emotional faucet that dripped endless, mortifying declarations of love. This is what it means to be in love? Constant romantic leaking from the mouth?
“I know you’ll call me soft if I say that’s sweet.” Shane peppered his chest with kisses. “So, I’ll just say c’est doux.”
“Did you say something mean?”
“The meanest.” Shane caressed his cheek. “What were you telling your Mom?”
He straightened the towel around his waist so he wouldn’t have to look into the devastating pools of love also masquerading as Shane’s eyes.
“I catch her up on games, my traveling. I tell her about Canada and how there is nothing to do here but stare at bonfires. Stuff like that.”
“You mean boring stuff like that.”
He pulled Shane close and kissed both of his devastating pools of love.
“Boring is sexy now. Super sexy.”
Shane beamed and his heart staggered weakly. That smile will end him one day.
“Did you tell her anything important?”
Disaster. Shane’s smile died and it was like the sun was a hole in the sky someone covered over.
“I did not get to important stuff yet, sweetheart,” he murmured against Shane’s mouth. “I was interrupted by this short hockey player wearing my t-shirt.”
Shane smirked. “Sorry I interrupted the important stuff-telling.”
“Apology accepted.” He spun Shane around to face the mirror and kissed his neck. “Now, that important stuff-telling? It was about summer at cottage.”
Shane smiled brightly, leaning back against him. Ah, the sun was uncovered once more.
He chuckled and put his chin on top of Shane’s head. “Summer of Shane is better.”
“Agree to disagree. I bet you weren’t going to tell her about being afraid of a harmless bird.”
“Shut up before I make you pay for having that information,” he laughed. “Russians are good at making people pay. Especially beautiful, half Japanese, half Canadian hockey players.”
He smiled and gave Shane’s ass a light tap. “Be good. I was going to tell her that summers in Canada are glorious, as hard as that is to believe.”
“No one believes me when I tell them that too.”
“Good, we have more of Canada to ourselves then. But, back to stuff-telling. I was going to tell her about swimming in lake, riding jet skis, stuff like that.”
Shane looked down, a bit crestfallen. “That’s all?”
“No. I left out most important part.”
He pressed his cheek into Shane’s temple and kissed his hair.
“I didn’t get to tell her about this man who has driven roots of himself into my life and I am not unhappy about it.”
In the mirror, Shane’s cheeks pinked under his freckles.
“Sounds like pretty important stuff to me.”
“Oh, is most important stuff,” he said gravely as he stroked Shane’s belly under his shirt. “Most important stuff ever.”
Shy, Shane looked down again and spun a brush on the counter.
“You tell her anything else?”
“Not much. Just that I am happier than I’ve ever been in life,” he said, tilting Shane’s head up to look at him in the mirror. “And, for the first time, I want to be no more than five inches from someone’s side.” Oh look, his mouth was leaking romantic nonsense again.
“Five inches is a lot of space, if you think about it,” Shane said with a teasing smile.
He made a comically apologetic face, mouth downturned and eyes blinking rapidly.
“Ah, you are right. Is too much space. Less than inch is better. Only thing that will work.” He nuzzled into Shane's neck.
“Big Russian baby,” Shane murmured while cupping the back of his head.
“Yes you are.” Shane kissed his temple and whispered, “Wish I could thank her for having you.”
He stilled at that and this time his eyes filled with real tears. When he lifted his head, Shane gave him the softest look he’d ever seen.
“Oh, baby,” Shane said gently, reaching back to wipe tears off his cheeks.
“Big Russian baby, remember?” he sniffed.
Shane rubbed Ilya’s hands where they rested on his belly and awkwardly turned his head for a kiss. He obliged, leaning Shane into a weird, sideways dip. After he’d kissed Shane senseless, he righted him and pressed him into the counter with his body. There was being lucky and then there was what he had with Shane. It was miraculous.
“Irina. That was her name, right?” Shane asked, smiling.
“Irina,” he said, holding Shane close.
He stilled and raised his eyebrows.
Shane laughed at his panicked look.
“Easy, it’s just an observation. Although, after what we did last night, I might be knocked up.”
He grinned, spinning Shane to face him and picked him up.
“Might be? Let’s make sure, okay?”
Shane quickly wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, breathing a throaty little giggle into his ear. Shane didn’t have anything on under his t-shirt. Maybe the bed was too far.
“You might have to do a really good job to make sure it sticks,” Shane murmured, peppering his face with kisses.
He tossed Shane on the bed.
But, before he pounced on Shane he stopped.
“Just a second. I forgot something,” he said.
Shane, with his T-shirt now tented above his hips, struggled up with a raised eyebrow.
“What could possibly be so important right now?”
He willed himself not to blush.
“I left cap off toothpaste.” It was the only excuse that Shane wouldn't protest.
“Fine. But, you're shaving minutes off the hour-long blowjob you were about to get.”
He sprinted into the bathroom and paused when he caught sight of his face in the mirror. He had ‘glow-face’, a term Yuna dubbed for him. She said when he looked like that, it was like looking into the sun. He rarely looked at himself when he supposedly had this ‘glow-face.’ He was usually looking at Shane. He grinned helplessly and the love that filled him from the bottoms of his feet to his scalp had him speaking again with the most important person not on this earth.
“Mama? You know how I tell you about my wins? I had another one. A big one. Is Shane. Remember, I tell you about him when I was 18 and then I couldn’t shut up about him? Yeah, that’s him. I wanted … I wanted to tell you that he loves me. Me. God. Me?” he whispered wondrously, eyes stinging. “And, and, I love him so much. You would too, I promise. He is what you called ‘good, solid boy’.” He smiled a little. “I have not told many others how I feel about him. English doesn’t have enough words to say how much I love him. But, he is perfect and I wanted to make sure that you knew that. Something else I want you to know too. I'm going to marry him. He doesn't know it yet, but I am going to make him very happy if I do not mess up. Can you help me not mess up? If you can help me to keep him for as long as he'll have me, I will not ask you for anything else. I am very happy, Mama. Is scary to be this happy, but I am. He takes care of me too. So, don’t worry anymore about that. Someone is taking care of me and if you had anything to do with that,” he said, voice quivering, “Thank you. Thank you for sending him to me. Rest now Mama, okay? I love you.”
He splashed water on his face, envisioning his mother in her beloved hammock with her sad smile, silent, like always in his dreams. When he could inhale without a shaky breath, he went back to Shane who waited naked on his belly with beckoning hands and a smile that could light up the world.
“Okay, you said something about making sure I stick?” he asked as he crawled on the bed.
Shane's soft giggling and his warm body pulled him out of the world for a while. After, while they dozed curled around each other, he dreamed of his mother and for the first time, she wasn't silently waiting for him to talk. She got up from her hammock, took his hands and said:
‘Tell me about your good, solid boy.’