[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[strangestcase]

Good news! This story exists, it’s called The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it. 

The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”

[sweetvantass]

theres a lot of evidence throughout the movie to say that the armadillo (whose name is bibo) is a god.

they first find him in the jungle, where an armadillo has no business being

they find the entrance to the city, while being followed by him

he is present when the volcano starts to erupt (previous concept art also showed him in the background actually stopping the eruption)

miguel and tulio sucked ass at the ball game, so they used Bibo as a ball. He ricocheted himself all over the place and defied physics to get into the hoop every time

they come up with the flood plan to stop cortez when bibo pushed a glass over in front of them

[famouslysleepy]

YOUR TELLING ME THEY USED GOD AS A BASKETBALL?

[djbodyhorror]

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

[gomezaddamsofficial]

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

[revvethasmythh]

brennan: that was from real celtic folklore, the heir to the king being his nephew, because--

luis, nodding solemnly: because the king is always gay

brennan: yes, the king is exclusively gay

[my-dailydreams]

[polarity-disturbed]

Could you imagine making your own movie, making like 20 million dollars, and then going “awesome, now to install a DVD duplicating machine in my house and personally burn copies by hand like a medieval monk preserving sacred texts”

Like I need people to understand the mental image here of a multimillionaire internet creator personally overseeing DVD production in his own house like he’s running an underground bootleg operation out of a basement in 2007.

It’s weirdly charming because there’s something very “old internet” about it, this energy of “I made a thing, and now I will physically hand it to people myself like an artisan at a craft fair.”

The man really said: “The future of cinema is me standing next to a humming disc burner at 2am”

And like... I can't help but believe he's onto something

[tackminyard]

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

[so-i-did-this-thing]

You can print in black & white without depending on any of the other color cartridges

[pankendev]

why i never

[pankendev]

[now more experienced] why i sometimes

[traumatized-tiefling]

This is peak nerd internal monologue right here

[bearcosmic]

Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??

Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.

Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?

Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?

Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?

Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.

Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night

Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time

Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously

Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??

Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you

Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.

Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.

Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?

Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.

Dick: TIM WHAT—

Jason: WHAT THE HELL—

Damian: MURDER? You?!

Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP

Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT

Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN

Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!

Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa

Tim: You guys didn’t know??

Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU

Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.

Damian: Timothy explain yourself

Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances

Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!

Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS

Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU

Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair

Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go

Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not

Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked

Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad

Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*

Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’

[duckngk]

who up curlin’ up they markeplier into ryan gosling’s arms

context:

also IRON LUNG IS OUT ON YOUTUBE YOU CAN BUY IT NOW

[thepitt-incorrect]

Whitaker: Stop saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea." I got my eye on one specific emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues.

Abbot: I'm personally after the white whale that took my leg.

Santos: I also want the whale that took Abbot's leg.

[laughableomen]

Hear me out x6

Trinity *kicks in Dennis bedroom door*

Trinity: Life update twink, I ended things with Garcia, starting therapy, and just orgasmed so hard my nose bled for 15 minutes. WOO, it’s my fucking month!

Trinity: Oh hey Robby

….

Dennis and Robby in bed: 👁️👁️

[liberalsarecool]

Every racist MAGA/GOP/KKK slippery slope prediction is worthless.

[beardedmrbean]