I’m so excited you are going to a language exchange group! That will be so much fun. It can be intimidating but I think you will get a lot out of it.
My background: Prior to the pandemic, I attended two in-person Japanese/English language exchange groups, one for all levels and one for intermediate/advanced learners. I have done in-person language exchange partnerships since university, I have tutored native Japanese speakers in English, and tutored beginner level students in Japanese 101, and basically I take every opportunity I have to do Japanese language exchange. Post pandemic I’ve tried virtual language exchange as well.
So, here is my advice for you!
1. What if most of the people there are fluent/native Japanese speakers and I’m the odd one out who is trying to keep up? To my knowledge, the person who formed this group is a native speaker, so I’m worried of this possibility. How can I make the most of this potential situation without feeling like I’m dragging the group down?
Then they will be ecstatic to share their language with you and to get your help with your native language! I find that usually in language exchange groups there is a wide range - beginner to advanced, in both languages. To make the most of it, try setting a guideline of speaking half the time in English (or your native language) and half in Japanese. Then hold yourself and them accountable. I do find Japanese people want to speak/practice mostly English so be responsible for yourself and encourage them to switch it up after X minutes (or when you change topics). You can announce English or Japanese time, or just switch to the next language to keep everyone on track. Japanese people can be very timid to speak in English and so if you use what Japanese you know to introduce yourself you can help them feel less intimidated too.
Bottom line, this group is a chance for all members to get practice so don’t worry about dragging anyone down. You aren’t doing anything wrong or annoying. But also don’t forget to be assertive and ask them questions if you don’t follow the convo, and don’t be afraid to turn it to yourself and what you want to practice. If you can engage someone in a one on one convo for a bit that helps me not be nervous since it’s just one other person. If someone is dominating the convo, you can try politely interjecting to get a fair chance to talk.
2. What specific phrases should I prepare myself with that may be relevant in this exchange situation? What do I do if someone says something to me that I have trouble understanding?
You should prepare a simple self introduction. Your name, your hometown, your hobbies. Anything you want to say about yourself. You can bring notes if you get nervous and forget (they will be impressed at your dedication). If you don’t understand something, ask them to repeat it! They will usually try to find a word you know or some way to make it understandable for you. A dictionary on your phone is invaluable too. They are as anxious as you to meet new people and to practice a foreign language. Asking questions is a part of that and they will have questions (and make mistakes) too. You can also prepare questions like “could you please repeat that?” (もう一度ください) or “what is X in Japanese?” (日本語で○は何ですか？). Even I still need to ask these questions!
Might I also suggest bringing workbook exercises to practice? If the convo is too advanced for you or you run out of things to say, getting help on something you are working on is a great way to get things back on track. You can bring Genki pair exercises, things you have questions on, a NHK News Easy news article you read aloud and/or translate, or any other number of ice breakers.
3. How can I make the most out of a situation like this without it being awkward? Perhaps there’s no getting around the awkwardness and I just need to accept it… let me know.
I am very awkward even now, and I embrace it. Tell them you are nervous - they are probably nervous too - and they will be very understanding. Going to the group is a Big Step and you are awesome for going out of your comfort zone! To get the most out of it, participate! If you spend the first meeting sitting and listening and not interacting much, it’s ok! You can participate when you feel more confident. But at least try to introduce yourself to one person there (the organizer?) so you can start feeling a little more comfortable. When I host a group and notice someone is shy I try to draw them out with questions, so maybe the organizer will help that way. I also try the trick of pretending I’m not awkward and asking someone a question. This breaks the ice and helps me to realize that everyone is nice and no one is judging me cos they are too busy worrying about their own language skill.
Most of all - don’t be afraid to make mistakes! You’ll notice that others will make mistakes. You don’t care much if they do, right? They don’t care if you do either! It’s a learning journey and you have to stumble a bit to make it to your goal. I still make lots of mistakes but I take them as learning opportunities rather than feeling embarrassed. To learn a new language you have to throw away your shame and embrace being bad at it. That’s how you get better ^.^
Best of luck and feel free to send me any other questions you have! ファイト！
