i can even!

Do what you must, I've already won.

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[mtfoss]

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

[luxwing]

Lemme get a little sippy

[sketchydmitrix]

[geminisee]

x

[dogpuppy]

[anexperimentallife]

[uncivilliberties]

Too good et cetera et cetera

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

[gem-andromeda]

[undergroundwubwubmaster]

✨️ Twinkle twinkle little star, how the hell you draw an arm ✨️

[bogleech]

When medusa has sex are the snakes weird for the other person? I don't mean in an "ewww snakes" or "ewww monster" way, I mean like in the same way as if someone has a bunch of little cats or dogs staring at you the whole time

[bogleech]

Im just saying unless she wears a big hat or you wear a blindfold there are only so many positions where this isn't your view the whole time

[spikedru]

(twitter)

[phoenix]

I love people discovering one of my all time faves.

[the-football-chick]

[brnsknsol11]

Deadass

[chromatographic]

The social cheat I’ve learned for this is to say:

“I have to check my calendar, why, what’s Friday?”

This says “Maybe” without saying “Maybe”, and giving you the option to make up a Doctor’s Appointment You Forgot About (or reschedule one you didn’t!) depending on what they say.

It’s an amazingly powerful sentence for my Autistic and ADHD ass - it gives me the ability to judge my social spoons, as well as communicating that “hey, I might have forgotten something, it’s not you it’s me” in a very non-offensive way.

“I have to check my calendar, why?”

[amingethia]

THANK YOU FOR THIS

[antheia]

PRO TIP: do not IMMEDIATELY respond in the negative or affirmative once they answer. Maintain the ruse. Give yourself to the count of, like, 30, before saying yes or no.

[original-recipe-winnafish]

fuck i love you

[rabbitindisguise]

“maintain the ruse” no legit check your calendar though there might be something on there you don’t remember, especially if you have ADHD

[lazyscience]

And if you have your calendar open and it IS something you want to do, you can actually put it on your calendar to not forget or double book!

[mynowherenothing]

[led-bloody-zeppelin]

[aforlorngazeintoyesterday-deact]

[clownkiwi]

[theomenroom]

when applied to drinks, "dry" means "without sugar". therefore it follows that sugary drinks can be called "wet". the meanings of the terms "hot" and "cold" when applied to drinks are obvious. thus the aspect of any drink can be determined.

for instance, green tea, freshly steeped and served without additives, is hot and dry, and therefore has an aspect of fire.

a mocha, on the other hand, while hot, is sweet, and therefore wet, and thus has an an aspect of air.

lemonade, which is wet and cold, has a water aspect.

finally, the drink which most epitomizes the earth aspect, being both cold and dry, is vodka

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[gaytanic-panic]

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]