Incoherent screaming @random-fangirling-and-stuff - Tumblr Blog

something about foreshadowing being more prominent the second time around reading a story but in a way that the meaning is changed forever and you can never view a story the same as you once did before. do you know what i mean.

majormeilani

literally so insane how you can never go back to the innocence of it all. you see all the signs coming and you know how it ends. but there's nothing you can do to turn a blind eye to it anymore. it hits you and you just have to keep going.

orpheuslament

friendships end. relationships end. fictional man whos doing even worse than you is forever

salvadorbonaparte

I told my students they're allowed to be creative and don't have to be factual when writing about themselves in German because I keep getting questions like "what if I don't have roommates or what if I don't have hobbies" and I'm like guys just make something up! Have fun! I won't fact check you!

So now I am grading homework where a student is claiming to be from North Korea and his hobby is tax fraud

salvadorbonaparte

I fully believe that as long as it's grammatically correct, coherent and answering the question students should be able to write whatever the hell they want. I don't care about their actual hobbies and the names of their siblings.

salvadorbonaparte

One of my students is writing about a ghost he "interviewed". The ghost is called Walter and died in 1865 . The ghost has ghost friends.

This is making grading homework significantly more fun.

the-bar-sinister

me in real life: torture and murder are horrible and you shouldn't do them.

me in fiction: torture and murder are literally the two sexiest and most fun things you could possibly do and you should do them all the time.

ered

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

jojotier

guess who just got ✨dommed by the narrative✨✨✨

jojotier

DOOMED I MEANT DOOMED

phanerozoicfossilgardener

As a writer I need everyone to know that whenever I write "exchanged glances" my intent is this

writeouswriter

The point of fiction is actually to put that guy in a situation™️, and he might try to tell you the point is to then get him out of the situation, WRONG, second situation

rohirric-hunter

One of my writing teachers in community college told me that the first step of writing fiction was to run a character up a tree, and the second step was to throw rocks at him. Words to live by

lyonnerileyauthor

monster boyfriends that fuck you hard are great, of course. but i’m also here for monster boyfriends who go hunt an animal and drag it home just for you, who know when you’re tense and touch you all over, who lick you silly when you need some attention and hold you close to their huge bodies to keep you warm at night.

entrailer

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

derinthescarletpescatarian

Found footage/horror/liminal space photo series but they're all just photos of the inside of your house (you didn't take them and don't know who did, trying to track the source of the images leads to a cancelled account and no further leads). The house looks how it does every day. All the comments are saying shit like "soooo creepy" and "this is the most desolate building I've ever seen" and "is this some kind of military base? Did you break in?" and "haunted ass asylum". In one photo, people are freaking out especially hard. "Left corner. LEFT CORNER." "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING???" "DUDE GET OUT OF THERE NOW." The 'thing' is you at the edge of the frame, sitting on the couch using your phone. You don't remember anyone taking this photo.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#derin how do you even come up with these ideas?

There's something wrong with me. Hope this helps.

fellshish

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

rebornofstars-deactivated202510

you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared

galadriel1010

This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

don’t show up on camera

can fly/scale walls

immune to bullets

can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit

could probably hypnotize security guards as needed

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

theonewiththesoks

Oceans 1100 AD

bleachedshadow

Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I feel like this has several simple solutions!

they enter the museum while it’s open to the public (and the Welcome sign is on display). they turn into bats and hide in the rafters until the museum closes. the only hiccup is when the overhead announcement comes on and politely requests all visitors leave for closing. the vampire are forced to flee, but come back the next day with tiny bat-sized earplugs.

downside: this requires going out in daylight, leading most of the team members to show up in long black victorian formalwear, complete with lacy parasols, which they insist on carrying with them throughout the entire heist (much to the frustration of the team leader, who just wore sunscreen and a raincoat).

depending on how invitations work, it is possible any random human can invite them in. one of the vampires gets their Ultimate Frisbee buddy Oakley to tag along and invite them in after closing.

downside: the gang spends the rest of the heist gently mocking the idea of a vampire playing association ultimate frisbee (“so what, you turn into a bat and catch it with your fangs? do they make you crawl up the wall when it gets stuck on a roof? if you turn into a cat to get it down from a tree, do you end up stuck in the tree?”) this ends in a Climactic Twist Ending when Oakley reveals they don’t play ultimate frisbee, just dog park frisbee. In the sense that they met when the vampire transformed into a wolf to gatecrashed a game at the local dog park.

(Bonus points if Oakley is a werewolf. extra bonus points if this is revealed in a post-credits epilogue where, on the next full moon, the entire gang transforms into creatures of the night and joins Oakley at the park for a frisbee game of Bats vs Wolves)

Final option: to gain legitimate entry, an invitation is needed from a museum employee. this presents two possibilities:

the vampires pretend to be incredibly rich eccentric patrons who want a private nighttime tour of the museum. (this is convincing due to the fact they are rich and incredibly eccentric.) the vampires get inside, planning to hypnotize the Curator supervising their tour.

downside: they immediately discover the Curator has been left immune to hypnosis by years of post-grad exposure to droning history lecturers. the vampires leave their least competent member to distract her while they carry out the heist–in the ensuing 90 minutes, the vampire and the curator accidentally Fall In Love after bonding over their shared fury about british archeological theft.

(In the sequel they get married and spend their honeymoon robbing the British Museum in order to return sacred objects to the cultures from which they were stolen. this is made more complicated comical by the fact vampires are unable to interact with holy objects. also, they are lesbians.)

alternatively: the gang simply bribes a security guard into letting them in after closing. the security guard then tags along, offering helpful advice for disabling alarms and transporting antiques. it turns out Security Officer Greer only applied for the job bc they too were planning an Elaborate Acrobatic Burglary, but then their partners quit to join Cirque du Soleil and “I can’t exactly perform a Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special without a partner.”

downside: the gang becomes too attached to ask Greer to leave. They carry out the heist as intended, but this time pretending to be circus performers to explain their vampire powers. Turning into a cloud of smoke to bypass locks? Magicians never explain a trick. Spider walking across ceilings to bypass alarms? Contortionist. When it comes time to fly from roof to roof, they decide turning into bats would give away their secret, so instead they help Greer, in a sparkling moment of triumph, execute the perfect Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special!

Greer and the gang escape (by tightrope walking) into the night with all the plunder they can carry. Tearfully, the gang begins to say goodbye (bc they can’t keep up the pretense of being circus performers forever) when Greer casually asks how a bunch of vampire ended up working in a circus.

(Greer assumed from the beginning they were vampires, because of “how you dress, how you talk, and mostly because none of you showed up on camera back in the CCTV control room. Why did you think it took me so long to let yall in?”)

I cannot for the lives of me decide which synopsis I like best

(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist