idk if this is a boomer take but I think ppl should make more of an effort to go see movies in theaters bc I couldn’t bear it if the movie theater industry went down and the only way to watch movies was through streaming I’m not strong enough
Actually I’ll make it even more boomer because I genuinely think it’s a good thing for people to have a reason to put down social media for an hour or two and just focus all their attention on a movie together and get fully immersed like I think that’s good practice for our attention spans and ultimately for our mental health (unless you’re a person who uses your phone during the movie in the theater in which case uh idk die)
Since 2022, the Peacemaker fandom has suffered from an infestation of the worst kind of rats - x reader shippers. The Adrian Chase tags are flooded with these cringe garbage fics. It's hard to even find Vigilmaker fics - the show's *canon* ship btw - because of this.
No more. From now, the Vigilmaker shippers fight back. The Peacemaker S2 trailer is out and in it Adrian Chase is confirmed to be gay, asexual, and *only interested in Chris*.
Some of these x reader rats try to get around this by claiming Adrian is bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual. Sometimes they'll try to claim those so-called identities themselves. Enough. ENOUGH.
We're taking the fandom back from the rats. Below is a blocklist of known Adrian Chase x reader blogs. Vigilmaker shippers, you know what to do. Block and report, block and report. Mass report until these blogs are banned. You can also report any x reader fics that you find in the tags as spam or N/S/F/W, but mass reporting the blogs is the most effective.
Blocklist:
strangelure
stealsteels
pretendfan
multifandomfanficss
training4theapocalypse
lysefeu
jeysbvck
vigsilantes
adrianmunson
seancekitsch
chaseadrian
acapelladitty
vigilvntes
nympheagain
lunaticsandidiots
powerfultenderness
honeycombstrawberry
femaustinpowers
fairyysoup
hazynbabyblue
tiannasfanfic
scarletttries
starsofmilos
strawyeriz
upl0aded
snowluvvie
zo2mess
hanasnx
gh0stsp1d3r
vigiluv
vixenmulder
outercrasis
gay-dorito-dust
familyfriendlyhoho
madddzshady
golden-grapes
vigilanteh
(This list will be updated as needed. Vigilmakers, please comment and reblog if you know of more blogs to add!)
Crazy work brother. Maybe take a nap and stop drinking your own piss. It's not as helpful as the internet says, I promise.
theres no way you been on the site long enough and in the fandom long enough to justify acting like a 13yr old who chronicles online. It has been 4-5yrs since lockdown and this is stircrazy behavior.
Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director
So adding to that thought from this post, I jave a name for this reader with a backstory or oc thingy. Ready...
Necromatica
...I know it's a bit cheesy i do apologize but it sounded good and a lot of this idea had happened while I was high and sleep deprived. But I do have some stuff I'm putting together rn so maybe I can post some actual content for this character and thunderbolts.
🤔I was messing around on an app and I think I may have found a good representation of Necromatica's bacteria powers.
It's like super close, but not quite what I was picturing. Awfully close tho lol. A bit more dust like in my head, and a bit more transparent, but this is cool for like an up close detailed look of the bacteria, I suppose
Meet Necromatica, my oc/x reader (*in a brice tankthrust voice*im a bitch with a backstory). No thunderbolts just yet but I'll try writing some stuff in a few days so stay posted 😘
I already have a couple of ideas for short ficlets & drabbles so lmk if you want me to share,it will mostly be slow posts. She's a bit self reflecting to me so whoops lmao.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~《~♡~》~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Powers :dust like bacteria that consume flesh raw,(when applied to victims appears as tho it was rot, like radiation poisoning in late stage)
• Very good at combat, trained in childhood home, athletic graceful but dramatic (think like comedic WWE style at times but super graceful like a gymnist)
• Custom made weapon. Double ended retractable scythe blades that make one staff
• Iconic move is to lay out fuel on the ground and scrape the backend of the scythe blades while spinning and sparking on the ground. Lighting a fire ring and fighting people that way.
• Was raised in a German cult obsessed with death and a heavy religious theme but not Christian (like complet opposite but not Satanism). Was the cults "priestess at a young age because of the powers she had.
• When overwhelmed she cacoons herself in massive amounts of the bacteria clouds that form a safe hammock (like the gif up top). There appearance in large forms is textured, (think an hr giger painting, or scorn) Very tissue-y but ornate
• Vaguely on the spectrum, has sensory issues and social issues but not noticeable to most
• Her Costume is "controversial". ( she'd argue it's empowering) I'm thinking like a skater skirt with tactical gear scattered on her person, chunky sneakers like Osiris, plain shorts and all black and mostly goes as is into fights
• She is younger probably older gen z category ( think 21-26)
So adding to that thought from this post, I jave a name for this reader with a backstory or oc thingy. Ready...
Necromatica
...I know it's a bit cheesy i do apologize but it sounded good and a lot of this idea had happened while I was high and sleep deprived. But I do have some stuff I'm putting together rn so maybe I can post some actual content for this character and thunderbolts.
I've been on a Marvel binge as of recently with Yelena and Bob, and I couldn't stop thinking of this idea I had for another Thunderbolt member.
Thoughts below the cut😘
So in my head I have this oc (who is a little self indulgent of me lmao), that Valentina has wrapped around her finger as a "cleaner". And she gets sent to the vault with the rest and becomes low-key attached to Bob. She really thinks he's sweet and is so into him without a second thought (🤚same tbh). I'm talking love at first sight but she an idiot and has no idea.
Anyways, she has these cool powers (I already started to write it out lmk if yall are curious) and she's the closest to being as strong as Robby. She never really is showy she just IS (and nobody believes so until she tanks all three guys; bucky, alexi and walker, in training).
But I already have some very vague ideas on scenarios between her and the team and I feel so bad cause I really want to read it but this is so specific to my head. Ig lmk if anyone is interested in more thoughts of them
Summary: When you meet Bob, that deadly power inside of you stirs, recognizing something just as equally dark and powerful in him. After all, like calls to like.
Warnings/Tags: Thunderbolts movie spoilers, canon typical violence & swearing, protective!Bob
Author’s Note: Someone asked how many parts this series will have & so far I’ve planned 5 or 6. This might change.
Word Count: 2K
Masterlist
Part One • Part Three
————
My senses slowly come back to me as pain beats up my spine like a steady drum. I’m bruised and beaten after being thrown from the explosion and my muscles scream at me as I slowly wake.
My ears are ringing and my head aches, but when my fingers begin to twitch, I sense something soft and calloused holding my hand. I slowly open my eyes to find it still curled in Bob’s hand. His grip begins to tighten around mine as he stirs. He must’ve been knocked unconscious too.
His soft features are speckled in ash and dirt as his eyes slowly open. They immediately find me.
Like calls to like.
That thing from my memory—no, my dream, its voice continues to echo in my head. The dream still sticks to me like a second skin, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue.
Bob must sense my distress or notice the anxiety written plainly on my face as his eyebrows furrow, body tensing. His hand unconsciously squeezes mine, as if it were habit.
When he notices, he quickly tears his hand away, as if embarrassed. His cheeks are red as he slowly sits up, looking anywhere but at me.
“Are you alright?” He mutters, shy and concerned.
I groan, limbs stretching before I heave myself into a sitting position. “I’m alive. That counts for something, I guess.”
He nods before finally meeting my eyes. He seems incredibly nervous and cautious as he says, “I’m sorry.“
I furrow my brows. “For what?”
He stares for a moment. His voice lowers to a whisper. “I should’ve tried to catch you.”
I still.
The dream. It’s hazy and fading in my memory, but snippets of darkness and light, of blood and gore, rise in my mind. And a voice, just before I fell into the dark…
“There you are.”
That voice…
Realization dawns on me like a slap to the face. It’s stinging and bruising as I remember that voice. His voice. Whatever that dark shadowy thing was, it sounded eerily like Bob.
I focus on Bob’s hands in his lap. How they were holding mine a few moments ago. How the skin cradled mine gently and how he never let me go, not even after the explosion.
“Catch me?“ I pause, suddenly recalling seeing his face just before I fell into that unending void in my dream. “That was real?” I whisper.
Bob looks shaken. “I-I think so. I don’t know. I don’t know what any of that was. I just remember fragments, but I remember you and how scared you looked and how all I wanted to do was help you.” He pauses, swallowing. “I’m really sorry—“
“Good to see you’re both breathing,” Yelena appears above us, hands smoothing debris and dust off her clothes.
Neither of us acknowledge her. We’re both still staring at each other.
He was really there, in my dream. He saw everything. I didn’t imagine it.
Which means he saw what happened. Little nine year old me, strapped to a table under fluorescent lighting. And he also saw that creature version of me, the one covered in ink-like darkness. And that man…
The man cloaked in shadow, who seemed so familiar. He was the silhouette with Bob’s voice. I faintly remember dreaming of him before, but I can’t recall when. And whatever that shadowy thing was, it was eerily a strange, dark version of Bob.
Yelena’s eyes bounce back between us for a moment. “Uh, sorry, am I interrupting something?”
I shake my head, shoving the uncertainties and possibilities of what just occurred. If Bob was there, that means something happened to him in that trial from O.X.E. as well. And whatever they did to us has tied us together somehow. As if we’re bound by something bigger than being thrown into an incinerator, where they probably hoped we’d be dead and forgotten by now.
When I turn to Yelena and find her hand outstretched to Bob, he hesitates. It’s a brief second of vulnerability, as if he’s not used to touching someone else so freely. The skin of my hands, that were held in his seconds before, burn at the thought.
Why does he touch me without thought, but hesitate with others? Does it have something to do with whatever O.X.E. did to him, to us? Does it explain why I feel this strange pull towards him, as if we’re two gravitating stars on the verge of colliding? Does he feel that too?
My head pounds with questions while all I can do is stare as Bob ignores Yelena’s hand and stands, dusting off his pants.
“Thanks, uh, yeah glad to see everyone made it out. You okay?”
She shrugs. “This is practically a normal Tuesday afternoon for me.”
A smirk threatens to spread across my face as I struggle to my feet. Once I’m standing, my legs start to shake and the room spins. I falter back a step and Bob is suddenly there, hands steadying my arms and waist, eyes insistent and protective.
“I’ve got you,” he says firmly.
It’s grounding and sure and it’s entirely startling. It’s strange, almost foreign, to have someone care about my well-being when it seems all anyone ever wanted in my life was to get as far from me as possible. I’m used to being treated as a plague, something to avoid.
But this… Bob’s arms encircling me, steadying me. It’s comforting and stable.
I choke down that acidic taste of loneliness as I give him a quick nod of appreciation before lowering my arms and stepping away.
God, I’m entirely too touched-starved for my own good.
I can feel Bob’s gaze on me, but I turn to Yelena, who raises a brow at us.
“Do you know each other?” She asks.
Like calls to like.
I still. That thing inside me is stirring like a turbulent wave, rattling my bones, whispering in my head.
“No,” I choke out, ignoring the pressure in my chest.
I sense Bob’s wince as if it were my own.
Yelena stares at me. “Really? It just seems like you’ve known each other for years—“
I shake my head, moving past Bob. He’s still staring at me and I feel it like a brand on my skin. “We should look for a way out of here.”
Yelena pauses, staring at Bob, before turning back to me, nodding. “Ava and Walker are scouting it out.”
I nod, shifting from foot to foot. Bob is still staring.
“Y/N,” he murmurs.
“If you’re done chit-chatting, I found a way out!” John shouts, to my relief.
Yelena stops Bob from following as I walk over to John and Ava. I hear Yelena check in on him, but I ignore them. Whatever that lies between us is too terrifying to comprehend. It’s only been an hour or so with these strangers and I shouldn’t be so comfortable with any of them, especially Bob. Sweet, protective, kind, observant Bob.
I shake my head, shoving it down into the void of my emotions, hoping whatever sings in me when Bob is around will soon go away. I’m not used to other people enjoying my company, let alone liking me. And from the small interactions with Bob, he seems to be both.
I follow Ava into the ripped open elevator shaft and stare up into the never-ending dark above us.
“Well, shit,” I mutter.
Ava shakes her head. “Yeah. Shit.”
We stand there for a moment before we hear John calling out to Yelena and Bob. “Are we done with our little therapy session or do you guys want to stay down here forever?”
When I turn to find Yelena and Bob standing close together, heads bent and her hand on his shoulder, something in me seethes. It’s acidic as it simmers beneath my skin.
Mine, that thing inside of me whispers.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I mumble to myself, closing my eyes to take deep breaths. I try to still the rotting jealousy spreading through my limbs, taming that power in me that threatens to rise to the surface. Now is not the time for destruction.
“You okay?” Ava asks.
I startle, opening my eyes. “Yeah, just…not a big fan of tight spaces. Just need a second.”
I see her brows pinch together, jaw working as she watches me. Before she can say anything, John, Yelena, and Bob join us in the elevator shaft.
Bob gives me a sheepish look before shuffling next to me. It’s strange how my body reacts when he’s near. Like that thing in my chest hums at his presence, begging me to step closer. Wanting me to touch him.
I clench my fists, keeping my feet planted as we all look up into the dark.
“So,” Yelena sighs. “None of us can fly? We all just punch and shoot?”
I sense Bob shifting from foot to foot.
Walker rolls his shoulders, breathing in and out loudly. “I’ve got this, guys.”
With a running start, he jumps into the air. The leap propels him and he soars upwards, disappearing into the dark.
“Is that… normal?” I ask.
Yelena rolls her eyes. “He’s some downgrade super soldier. Nothing special.”
“Used to be Captain America,” Ava adds. “Not a good one, though.”
Screaming echoes through the air as John’s body begins to descend rapidly towards us. Bob’s hands suddenly grip onto my elbows, pulling me back into his chest as Walker slams into the ground, inches from where I stood. I try and resist leaning into his touch.
Ava laughs at John. “You should do that again.”
John groans, heaving himself from the floor, glaring at Ava. “Can’t you just, I don’t know, walk through the walls and throw us down a rope or something?”
Ava’s smile disappears, annoyance prickling her features. “If I could do that, I wouldn’t be standing here, now would I?” She shakes her head. “The most I can hold it for is about a minute. I could be trapped and crushed inside the mountain before I can get back.”
“Only a minute?” John scoffs.
Ava glares. “Asshole.”
Yelena sighs. “Any other ideas?”
The buzzing under my skin vibrates through me as Bob continues to hold me to him. I can sense every movement of his chest, every twitch of his arms and fingers.
When Yelena catches my eye, I quickly step out of his reach. I can sense Bob’s furrowed brow and concerned eyes. But we have bigger things to worry about, like getting out of this place.
Bob raises his hand tentatively, drawing everyone’s attention. “I think I might have an idea.”
————
“Who the fuck are they?” Valentina Allegra de Fontaine points at the screen.
Video footage of five people breaking the security lock on a door in the O.X.E. Vault fills the screen. Valentina can name three of them, since she was the one who put them there. Yelena Belova, John Walker, and Ava Starr.
But it’s the two others she can’t name. They’re strangers and, right now, she needs to know how the hell they got inside that vault.
Mel Gold shrugs, staring down at the tablet. “No idea, but I’ll find out.”
The limo is silent as Mel’s fingers tap away. The city lights pass by them as the seconds drag on. Valentina clenches her jaw, her teeth creaking as she tries her best not to scream at her assistant. No matter, within seconds, Mel straightens in her seat.
“Oh god,” she whispers. “Do you remember Project Sentry?”
Valentina waves a hand, already brimming with annoyance and impatience. “Of course, but we shut that down along with everything else. All the tests subjects died. It was a dead-end. A failure.”
Mel nods. “Yes, or so we thought.”
She shifts the tablet back to her boss. Valentina’s eyes slowly begin to widen as she stares down at the screen. Her fingers latch onto it, zooming through pages and pages of research and records and case studies for Project Sentry. She pauses on research results for both Robert Reynolds and Y/N Y/L/N.
Valentina stops on a picture of the young woman. It was taken the day she arrived at the O.X.E. facility in Malaysia. Her eyes were sunken in, bones protruding from her face and collarbone. She was malnourished and sickly. She looked lost and forgotten. The perfect subject.
Below the picture, the doctors and scientists listed everything she described to them about her condition. How she hoped they could rid her of what she could do.
Scientists experimented on her, needing to know what they were dealing with. Included in the file was a video of that experiment.
“Holy shit,” Valentina whispers under her breath.
She replays it, over and over again, eyes widening as a slow, creeping smile spreads across her face.
“What is it?”
Valentina looks up at Mel from the tablet. Her smile is downright lethal as she says, “We need to get to the Vault. Immediately.”
Chapter warnings - mention of drinking and pills, gun, threats of violence, time travel stuff, shooting, mentions of killing, let me know if i missed anything.
~~~
Second pov
~~~
The only sound in the room was the distinct tapping of the chalk against the walls of Five's room, reverberating in the silence.
After receiving help from him with your injury, he mentioned that he planned to create a probability map in order to pinpoint the culprit behind the apocalypse.
Assuring you of his effort and asking for your patience, he delved into his work, immersed in concentration.
Approximately 20 minutes elapsed, and as you observed, he was nearing the completion of his task.
"Oh, okay, I think I've got something, Sparky" he remarked, just as the echo of heavy footsteps resonated from the corridor.
Placing the chalk down with a definitive gesture, he expressed his optimism about the outcome.
You reciprocated with a subtle grin, acknowledging his dedication, as a new presence entered the room, bridging the gap between anticipation and discovery.
"Who you talkin- oh hey y/n. What is all this?" Luther directs the last part of his sentence at Five, his brow furrowed in curiosity, eager to unravel the mystery before them.
"It's a probability map," Five reveals with a sense of urgency, his voice tinged with a mix of anxiety and determination as he steps down from the chair he was precariously perched on, the weight of his discovery heavy on his shoulders.
"Probability of what?" Luther's confusion deepens, prompting Five to steel himself for the forthcoming revelation.
"Of whose death could save the world," Five explains, the gravity of the situation dawning on him as he starts to piece together the intricate puzzle that could determine the fate of humanity.
"I've narrowed it down to four," he continues, his words hanging in the air like a foreboding cloud, each name on the list representing a potential sacrifice for the greater good, a burden that they must now bear collectively.
"Are you saying one of these four people causes the apocalypse?" Luther asks again, rolling your eyes at all the questions.
You see Five roll his eyes as well, going back to writing on the wall.
"No, I'm saying that their death might prevent it." Luther's expression shifts, eyebrows creased in confusion as he processes the gravity of the situation.
After a beat of silence filled only by the scratch of the chalk on the rough walls, he admits, "I'm not following."
Frustration bubbles up within you, prompting an exasperated groan and a weary rub of your eyes.
"For fucks sake," you mutter under your breath, a mix of weariness and impatience lacing your words.
Luther's confusion seems to intensify, and you realize you need to find a way to simplify the explanation, to make him understand the stakes at hand.
"Time is fickle, Luther," Five began, his expression contemplative. "The slightest alteration in events can lead to massively different outcomes in the time continuum."
"The butterfly effect." you cut in, Five nodding at you.
"Exactly."
"So all we have to do is find the people with the greatest probability of impacting the timeline, wherever they may be, and kill them." Five elucidated succinctly, prompting your understanding.
Luther's brows furrowed in realization as his gaze settled on the list of names before him. "Milton Greene. So who's he, a terrorist or something?" Luther pondered, directing his inquiry towards you and Five, seeking further clarity.
"Isn't he a gardener?" you question Five, hoping for some clarity on the situation.
"Pretty sure, yeah," he responds nonchalantly, his tone betraying hints of mischief.
"You can't be serious. Wait, this is madness, Five, you are corrupting y/n. You-" Luther starts his protest, his voice wavering with concern as Five discreetly signals to you to move away from the bed.
With a stern look aimed at Luther, you rise to your feet, your gaze challenging him.
"Wh-Where'd you get that?" Luther stammers, his eyes wide and fearful as he gestures towards the gun that Five has produced from under the bed.
"In Dad's room," Five explains casually, his eyes fixed on a point on the wall as he aims the weapon.
"I think he used it to shoot a rhinoceros. It's similar to the model I used at work," he adds, glancing at you briefly as he mentions his past employment and the familiarity of the firearm.
"Nice shoulder fit and highly reliable," Five said with a confident nod, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he glanced at you, silently acknowledging your agreement based on having previously used a similar weapon.
"But you can't just overlook this," Luther intervened, the furrow in his brow deepening as he pointed out, "This guy, 'Milton' is not the target here; he's innocent."
Your head involuntarily shook in disagreement with Luther's perspective, understanding the gravity of the situation but struggling to justify the sacrifice of an innocent life.
"It all boils down to simple calculations," Five asserted, his demeanor calm yet resolute. "It's basic math." He shrugs.
"His death could potentially save the lives of billions. If I did nothing, he'd be dead in four days anyway." he reasoned, motioning dismissively towards Luther, clearly convinced of the necessity for action.
"The apocalypse won't spare anyone." you added quietly, your tone reflecting the weight of the impending doom that hung over the group, making it difficult to see a way out that didn't involve sacrifice.
"We don't do this kind of thing." Luther stated firmly, addressing both you and Five with a mixture of conviction and uncertainty, grappling with the moral implications.
"We are not doing anything," Five said with a firm tone, gesturing towards himself and Luther standing beside him.
"Me and y/n are." Taking a step forward, he looped a finger through your rehab bracelet, silently signaling for you to follow him out of the room.
"I can't let you go and kill innocent people, no matter how many lives you'll save," Luther stated firmly, his attempt at appearing intimidating falling short of its mark.
Despite his words, a sense of desperation lingered in his gaze.
"Well, good luck stopping us," Five responded, a defiant edge in his voice as both of you turned to exit the room.
However, the tension escalated as Luther grabbed Dolores, holding her precariously out of the open window, adding a dramatic twist to the already tense confrontation.
"You're not going anywhere," he says darkly to Five, both of you turning around to face the big man.
You roll your eyes and scoff at the tension in the room, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you.
"Put... her... down," Five demands of Luther, his anger palpable in the air as he tries to protect what matters most to him.
"Put the gun down. You're not killing anyone," Luther orders sternly, his voice commanding yet conflicted.
Despite Luther's plea, Five refuses to drop the weapon, the standoff intensifying with each passing moment.
"I know she's important to you, so don't make me do this," Luther continues, the gravity of the choice he faces reflected in his eyes as your heart rate quickens.
Frustrated by the deadlock, you scoff once more, your impatience surfacing as time slips away. "It's either her or the gun." Feeling a surge of adrenaline, you make a split-second decision to lunge at Luther, attempting to snatch the doll from his grasp.
However, your brave move is swiftly thwarted as you're abruptly hoisted into the air by the back of your shirt, the doll slipping from your reach and cascading out the window.
The sound of Five's gasp fills the room, echoing the turmoil of emotions swirling around you.
Another breathless 'whoosh' signals Five's return, cradling Dolores protectively, the tension in the room finally easing as you all try to catch your breath in the aftermath of the intense stand-off.
"I can do this all day," Luther tells Five confidently, as he gestures towards you, still suspended about a foot above the ground.
"I know you're still a good person, Five," he starts, his voice filled with unwavering faith. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have risked everything coming back here to save us all."
Taking a deep breath, Luther continues, sensing Five's inner turmoil. "But you're not on your own anymore," he concludes, his tone soft yet resolute, offering Five reassurance in their shared fight.
Five, feeling the weight of the moment, shifts his gaze from you to Luther, conveying a mix of vulnerability and determination.
"There is one way," he begins, his brow furrowed in contemplation, his hand absently running through his disheveled hair, a sign of the gravity of the situation.
"But it's just about impossible," he admits, acknowledging the daunting challenge ahead with a hint of hope lingering in his voice.
"More impossible than what brought you back here?" asks Luther with a raised eyebrow, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.
"We're about to find out," Five replies confidently, a hint of mystery in his tone, as he nods to himself, preparing for what lies ahead.
"Can you put me down now?" you ask Luther, your impatience evident in your voice as you glance down at the ground below.
Luther's face softens with guilt as he slowly lowers you back onto the solid surface. "Sorry about that. I didn't even realize I was still holding you up there."
Feeling a playful urge, you lightly poke him in the arm, your powers sparking a brief reaction from Luther.
"Of course you didn't," you tease with a small smile, relishing the familiar banter between you two before turning to exit the room, the two boys dutifully following in your wake, their presence a reassurance amid the uncertainties that lie ahead.
~~~
You were left waiting in the car for what felt like an eternity, glancing at the passing minutes on the dashboard before Luther and Five finally caught up.
Inevitably, you always ended up in the backseat whenever Luther was around, knowing all too well that he trusted a toddler behind the wheel more than he trusted you.
As for Five, you had a sneaking suspicion that he would have preferred you in the back no matter what.
While Five hadn't explicitly divulged the plan to you, he had imparted the cryptic instruction to trust him—an act that you did, albeit with a hint of reservation.
Speculating on the nature of Five's scheme, you surmised that it likely involved the secluded ambiance of the car in an open and deserted setting.
Breaking the weighty silence like a disrupt in a still pond, Five uttered words that cut through the quiet air like a sharp knife.
His admission made you furrow your brows in anticipation, sensing where the conversation was headed.
"You know, I never enjoyed it," Five confessed, prompting Luther to interject with a puzzled, "What?" as he tried to grasp the cryptic exchange unfolding before him.
Five takes a deep breath, his voice heavy with the weight of his confession. "The killing," he begins, his words trailing off as he struggles to articulate his thoughts.
"I mean, I was... I was good at my work," his voice quivers slightly, revealing the conflict within him, "and I... I took pride in it. But it never gave me pleasure," he continues, his tone filled with a mixture of remorse and resignation, as if grappling with the consequences of his actions.
As he pauses, his gaze momentarily flickers towards you, but you remain absorbed in your own thoughts, your eyes fixed on the floor of the car, oblivious to his silent plea for understanding.
The solitude, he muses, can be a cruel companion, shaping your thoughts in ways you never thought possible.
It was a feeling you knew all too well, having spent long hours alone during your tenure at the Commission, with only your thoughts for company.
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Five opens up about his time on the moon, his voice tinged with a hint of bitterness.
"Yeah, well, you were gone for such a long time. I only spent four years on the moon, but that was more than enough," he mutters, his eyes revealing a glimpse of the loneliness that still haunts him.
"It's the being alone that breaks you," he adds, his words carrying the weight of accumulated sorrow and regret.
Amidst the somber atmosphere, Luther's voice cuts through the silence, brimming with uncertainty.
"You think they'll buy it?" he asks, his tone tinged with a note of desperation, seeking reassurance in the face of looming doubt.
"Well, what I do know is that they're desperate," you mull over the situation, grappling with the implications of their urgency.
Five's enigmatic words hang in the air, prompting a surge of questions in your mind, each vying for clarity.
"It's like a cop losing his gun. If the Commission finds out, they'll be in deep trouble," the severity of the consequences hits you like a ton of bricks, sending a shiver down your spine.
'Does his plan have something to do with the Commission?!' you cry out internally, your thoughts racing to connect the dots.
"Oh, not to mention the fact that they'll be stuck here until they retrieve it," Five adds, further emphasizing the weight of the situation and the looming sense of entrapment.
"Well, I should hold onto it," Luther interjects, offering a strategic perspective on the matter, his voice calm yet firm.
"Hm?" Five feigns innocence, his expression a mask of puzzlement that belies the depth of his understanding.
"In case they make a move on you," Luther's words carry a sense of protective resolve.
"Okay, Luther, but be careful," Five cautioned, his voice tinged with a mixture of wisdom and concern. "I mean, I've lived a long life, seen things that would make your head spin," he continued, his gaze momentarily clouded with memories.
Fidgeting with your plastic bracelet, you couldn't help but feel the weight of his words sink in.
"You're still a young man," Five acknowledged, his tone softening with a hint of wistfulness. "You got your whole life ahead of you," he added, his eyes focusing on some distant point only he could see.
Pausing for a moment, Five's expression turned serious as he delivered his final plea: "Don't waste it."
The sound of a car nearing drew your attention to the window, where you caught sight of the two familiar faces from a few nights ago.
A wave of relief washed over you, realizing it wasn't the ominous figure of The Handler.
Five, ever the strategist, hummed softly, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "Here we go," he mused aloud, the gravity of the situation settling in.
Turning to Luther, he made a request tinged with regret, "If this all goes sideways, do me a favor and tell Dolores I'm sorry," his words heavy with unspoken implications. Luther, understanding the weight of the task entrusted to him, simply nodded in acknowledgement.
Five, upon noticing your reluctance to leave the car, turns his gaze towards you. "y/n? Come on we gotta go," he urges, interrupting your quiet fiddling with your bracelet.
Gradually, you raise your eyes to meet his and respond with a slow nod.
"Yep, right. Sorry," you whisper apologetically, acknowledging his prompting as he gestures towards his door to indicate it's time to move.
With a deep breath, you follow suit, swinging open your door and stepping out before pushing it closed with a resounding thud.
As you both exit the vehicle, Five voices his query about the necessity of masks to the two individuals in suits standing nearby.
Intrigued, you move closer, positioning yourself a few steps behind Five, your hands tucked casually in your pockets.
"Where is it, kid?" one of the suited figures inquires, prompting Five to hint at the mysterious location being sought.
"Wow, that's how you're gonna start," Five muttered to himself, his voice carrying a mix of disbelief and a hint of amusement.
"You know, we can get right back in our car and call it a day," he suggested casually to the tense-looking man and woman in front of him, a subtle challenge underlying his words.
"You won't even make it halfway there."
"Maybe," Five shrugged nonchalantly, a touch of cockiness in his demeanor.
"But as I'm sure you found out in your previous foray, my brother is not your average giant," he informed them, his tone carrying a touch of warning as he glanced briefly at Luther, who was already shooting him a bewildered 'what the heck' look before refocusing on the task at hand.
"He's right," the masked man chimed in, breaking the tension with a calm assertion.
"You dropped a chandelier on him, and he simply got right back up," he recounted, causing your eyes to widen with a mixture of surprise and admiration.
As you processed the masked man's words, relief washed over you, silently acknowledging, 'Well, at least he's okay now,' a subtle sense of gratitude settling in amidst the chaos of the moment.
"By the time you took him out, he'd smash your precious briefcase to a pulp," Five tells them with a tone filled with warning.
"And even in the slight chance he doesn't, y/n here will fry it," he continues, gesturing towards you, emphasizing the impending threat.
"Probably us too, right?" the man interjects, seeking clarification on the potential danger that looms around the group. "So, how do we help each other?"
"I need you to get in contact with your superior so I can have a chat with her," Five states firmly, causing a wave of apprehension to wash over you suddenly, prompting a physical reaction as you place a hand on your stomach, feeling queasy at the prospect.
"Face-to-face," he adds, emphasizing the necessity for a direct and immediate conversation with your superior.
"About what?"
"Well, I don't believe that's any of your concern," Five responds cryptically, heightening the mystery shrouding his intentions.
"Just don't tell her about the briefcase," he warns firmly, establishing a boundary that must not be crossed for the safety of all involved.
"Fair enough," the suited figures agree.
As you all huddle near the car, the woman steps aside to make a call, leaving you with a sense of anticipation hanging in the air.
With each step back towards the vehicle, you feel a heaviness in your movements, your breaths coming shallow and your jaw tightly clenched.
Curiosity tinged with concern fills Luther's voice as he breaks the silence, asking, "What happens now?"
Five's response is brief but definitive, "Now we wait." His gaze shifts towards you, observing as you lean wearily against the car.
Sensing your unease, he edges closer until your shoulders nearly touch.
"Are you alright?" he inquires, meeting your gaze as a flicker of uncertainty flashes across your features.
"The Handlers coming here?" you question, pointing towards the ground in a shaky gesture. His nod carries a weight of resignation.
With a heavy sigh, you absentmindedly twirl the bracelet between your thumb and forefinger, a nervous habit betraying your inner turmoil.
"I didn't tell you before because I had a feeling you would leave." his confession hangs in the air, prompting you to turn your gaze back to meet his, searching for understanding in his eyes.
"Well maybe it would be for the best if I left," you tell him, still feeling sick. Five looks confused.
"Why's that?" he asks.
"Because you don't li-"
"We've already talked about this," he interrupts.
"I don't not like you," he tells you firmly, and you turn away from him to hide a lopsided grin, your heart fluttering with a mix of relief and uncertainty.
As you try to gather your thoughts, a faint sound drifts through the air, the distant melody of music.
"You hear that too, right?" you ask Five, seeking confirmation.
He nods in agreement, his expression mirroring a sense of curiosity.
Both of you instinctively turn towards the source of the sound, noticing an approaching ice cream truck slowly making its way down the street, the joyful jingle becoming louder as it nears you.
The vivid colors and playful design of the truck spark a sense of nostalgia and joy in you both, momentarily distracting you from the intensity of the moment you and Five were just sharing.
"Is that her?" Luther asks, a perplexed expression clouding his features, as he gazes intently at the figure in the distance.
"What the hell is he doing here?" The question hangs in the air, laced with a mixture of disbelief and frustration, as you both try to make sense of the unexpected sighting.
"Is that Klaus?!" Your voice rings out with a blend of astonishment and delight, catching you off guard as you spot the familiar face waving from the passing truck, his presence like a surreal twist in the unfolding scene.
"It's a setup!" Cha-Cha's urgent declaration reverberates through the tense atmosphere, her tone laced with a sense of impending danger as she swiftly draws her firearm, the metallic click echoing loudly and sending a chill down your spine, eliciting a sharp gasp of surprise from you at the sudden turn of events.
The two ruthless assassins, identified as Hazel and Cha-Cha, suddenly start unleashing a barrage of bullets in your direction.
Reacting swiftly, you instinctively lower your body and shield your face as Luther valiantly steps forward to shield both you and Five.
Feeling a mix of disbelief and admiration, you give Luther a quizzical look before pushing him away, narrowly deflecting a bullet that was aimed at him.
Expressing gratitude with a nod, Luther's reassurance is short-lived as you quickly notice incoming bullets heading your way.
Closing your eyes tightly and bracing for impact, your heart races in anticipation of the inevitable danger.
In a moment of shock, you find yourself gasping in surprise as you look around, only to realize that everything around you has come to a sudden standstill.
A surreal silence envelops you as you and Five remain suspended in time, the chaos frozen in a still frame as your mind tries to comprehend the strange occurrence.
You redirect your gaze towards Five, who has now positioned himself to your right, gently taking hold of your arm to guide you a few steps forward.
The sudden shift in direction catches you off guard, and you find yourself fixated on the woman standing before you, disbelief etched across your features.
"Neat trick, isn't it?" her voice permeates the air, resonating in your ears.
Upon locking eyes with Five, she addresses them with a brief acknowledgment, "Well, you're looking rather well, considering everything."
Her attention then shifts to you, a spark of recognition lighting up her expression as she exclaims with genuine delight,
"Oh, y/n, my dear, is that you in that little body? How wonderful to be reunited with you after all this time," her words carrying a cheerful cadence.
Your response is muted as you remain transfixed, absorbing the unexpected encounter before you.
She turns back to look at Five, offering a warm smile. "It's truly delightful to have this reunion," she begins, her voice filled with nostalgia.
"It almost feels as though we met only yesterday." A chuckle escapes her lips, evoking a slight cringe from you at the memory. "Of course, time has a funny way of playing tricks on us. Back then, you were a bit more seasoned, and she was just beginning her journey."
Your hand trembles as you reach out to touch Five's hand, which still clings to your forearm. "Congratulations on the age regression, by the way." she remarks gently.
The Handler then resumes speaking, prompting you to delicately pry Five's hand from your arm to grasp it securely, the tremor subsiding slowly.
"Very clever. Threw us all off the scent." The Handler notes, clearly impressed.
Five, with a confident tone, diverts the attention away from the scene before you. "Ah, well, I wish I could take credit." he admits, his voice concise yet revealing a hint of regret.
"I just miscalculated the time dilation projections, and... Well, you know. Here I am." The explanation is brief, but it sheds light on the intricate complexities that brought about the current situation.
"You realize your efforts are futile," The Handler tells him with a hint of resignation evident in her voice.
"So why don't you tell me what you really want?" she requests, her tone a mix of curiosity and understanding, as if hoping for a glimpse of true clarity amidst the chaos.
"I want you to put a stop to it," Five tells her bluntly, the weight of his plea echoing in the firm grip of his hand on yours, a silent reassurance in the face of uncertainty, a silent acknowledgment of the shared burden you both carry.
"You realize what you're asking for is next to impossible, even for me," The Handler shrugs, a glimmer of vulnerability underlying her composed facade, a flicker of doubt dancing in her eyes.
"What's meant to be is meant to be," she continues, her voice tinged with a sense of fatalism that seems to weigh heavy on her shoulders. "That's our raison d'être."
Five scoffs at her words, a defiant spark igniting in his gaze. "Yeah? Well how about survival as a raison?" His question hangs in the air, a challenge thrown at the very core of her beliefs, a question that cuts through the layers of the Handler's stoic demeanor, hitting a nerve that lingers on the edge of her consciousness.
"I'll just be replaced," The Handler shrugs again, a resigned acceptance coloring her words. "I'm but a... small cog in a machine," she admits, her voice a somber reflection of the truth she carries.
"This fantasy you've been nurturing, about summoning up your family to stop the apocalypse... is just that," she concludes, a note of finality in her tone, a stark reminder of the harsh reality.
"A fantasy," she murmurs softly, taking a calculated breath to compose herself. "I must say, though, we're all quite impressed with your initiative, your exceptional stick-to-itiveness; it's truly commendable. Quite an admirable quality you possess."
Her words are measured, conveying both praise and subtle scrutiny in their undertone.
With a wistful exhale, she continues, her gaze shifting pensively towards you, a glimmer of expectation dancing in her eyes.
"Which is why we want to offer you a new position back at the Commission, in management." she hesitates before adding the next part, her voice tinged with a mix of sincerity and manipulation.
"And y/n, dear, your father misses you terribly, we all deeply long for your return. It would mean the world to us," she states, the faux sympathy in her tone almost palpable.
The conversation is momentarily interrupted as Five interjects, his curiosity apparent in his glance towards you, prompting a pause in the dialogue.
"Come back to work for us, both of you. It's evident that your place is here; a valuable asset you both are. Though the past may have had its challenges," The Handler muses, her voice regaining momentum, "We believe a different path lies ahead for you. You wouldn't be confined to the correction division anymore, a fresh start awaits."
"I'm talking about-" she tries to find the words, a slight furrow forming on her brow in contemplation. "-the home office. You'd have the best health and pension, and an end to this ceaseless travel." there's a momentary lull in the conversation as she searches for the right words.
"You're a distinguished professional in... schoolboy shorts." she playfully quips, a wry smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she gestures towards Five's unconventional choice of attire, eliciting a silent but unmistakable eye roll from him in response to her teasing.
"Oh, and darling!" she starts anew, her gaze shifting towards you. "I could never forget how cute you looked in your little stealth suit."
Her voice softens with a touch of nostalgia as she places a hand over her heart in a gesture of fond remembrance.
"Such a precious little killer," she turns back to Five, who has now focused his attention on you as you glance down at your shoes, a mix of emotions swirling within you.
"We have the technology to reverse the process. I mean, you- you can't be happy like this." She attempts to reason with sincere concern lacing her words.
"I'm not looking for happiness." Five tells her, moving his eyes to her once again.
"We're all looking for happiness," she remarks with a thoughtful expression, your eyes meeting Five's before gently squeezing his hand.
A quick glance from him acknowledges the silent support as his focus shifts back to The Handler.
"We can make that happen. We can make you... yourself again." she reassures, her voice laced with determination.
"We can also resume your aging process, y/n" The Handler's statement about resuming your aging process causes a crease to form between your brows, prompting a questioning look towards her.
"And what about my family?" Five's query echoes your concerns, both of you united in this moment.
With a sigh, The Handler probes, "What about them?"
"We want them to survive," you interject firmly, the unexpected plea causing a stir between Five and The Handler.
A raised eyebrow and a subtle smirk indicate The Handler's intrigue. "All of them?"
"Yes, all of them," Five responds impatiently, his resolve unwavering as he advocates for the safety of his family.
"Well... I'll see what I can do," The Handler's voice held a hint of intrigue as she addressed both of you.
"Do we have a deal?" Her hand extended, inviting a final confirmation.
Before fully agreeing, Five interjected, his touch lingering reassuringly on your hand before he turned to assist Luther with the imminent danger before him.
A wave of relief washed over you, knowing that the Hargreeves were now safe from harm.
Returning to your side, Five's grip on your hand tightened as he guided both of you towards The Handler.
You still felt sick at the thought of going back, but it's not like you had a choice. It was either this or the world literally ending.
The inevitability of returning to the Commission weighed heavily on you, a sense of dread clinging to your every thought.
Despite the overwhelming nausea that fluttered in the depths of your stomach, the notion of any alternative sent shivers down your spine.
The three of you disappear from the frozen scene in a blip of light, and you open your eyes to find yourself within the familiar walls of the Commission.
The sterile environment echoed the gravity of the moment, contrasting sharply with the chaos that reigned outside those walls.
The Handler's cool demeanor greeted you, her voice piercing the air with a blend of authority and familiarity that made you flinch involuntarily.
"Welcome back to the Commission, Mr. Hargreeves and Ms. Carmichael," The Handler's words rang in the air, a stark reminder of the role you were bound to play in this intricate web of fate.
Your breath caught in your throat as shame and regret washed over you, a tsunami of emotions threatening to drown you.
Avoiding Five's searching gaze, you battled the turmoil within, wishing you had found the courage to confide in him earlier.
Five's incredulous expression mirrored your own inner turmoil as he leaned closer, his eyes searching for answers in your troubled gaze.
"Carmichael?"
~~~
A/N : ooh surprise! anyways, thanks for reading and by the way i'll begin to explain more of y/n's backstory in later chapters.
other title names - 'weeeeeee' 'so you're related to a fish..'
Sequel to Vertigo
Summary - "We're not shacked up" You responded too loudly immediately losing all your composure, you glanced behind you as if Five himself was going to suddenly appear and overhear Lila's accusation.
Pairing - Five x Reader.
Warnings- ANGST, OOC, swearing, sexual themes, irresponsible alcohol consumption, canon divergence (I’m literally just writing season 4 like I want it) , pining, misunderstandings, 18+ MDNI
A/N - I'm not sure how I feel about this,it's much longer than i meant it to be and i hit a massive writers block with it, but here it is. I'm an angst lover and as much as I try to be fluffy the angst takes ahold of me so be warned.
~
You were sitting watching the kids bowling with Diego, Luther and Klaus supervising. Lila had organised the twins birthday here and after a not so impressive bowl of your own against Sloane, Claire and Grace you decided to sit this one out with a hot dog.
"Look at that man throw a ball" Lila grinned staring at Diego as he fist pumped the air at his strike, her smile was contagious and you couldn't help returning it.
It seemed like Lila and Deigo were either really really good or really really bad lately with no in between. One moment Lila was telling you that she felt trapped and needed to get out and the next she was singing praises about Deigo and their life together.
Today must have been a good day.
Lila felt like she could talk to you and Sloane because although you had an investment in the family, you weren't actually Umbrella Hargreeves siblings. You wanted Lila to be happy in whatever way that meant for her, sure she was unhinged, but so was Diego. The only way they balanced each other out was that Diego was a huge softy and Lila was a hard ass with a slightly gooey centre.
"Woooo!" Sloane cheered as Luther got his own strike and he turned to look back at her with a wide grin, this was definitely going to be Luther vs Diego rather than fun with the kids.
"Can't wait until the kids go to sleep tonight, I'm going to ruin him" Lila said lowly, eyes locked onto Diego as he torpedoed a ball down the alley.
"Lila!" Allison squawked as Viktor choked on his beer.
"What? your brothers fit, that's why I married him" She replied.
"Yeah and he's MY brother, I don't want to hear anything about what you two do when no one else is around" Allison laughed.
"Who said no one else is-"
"No! No!" Allison jumped up "I'm getting fries" she hurried away while Viktor almost fell out of his chair to follow.
You weren't sure what the sibling dynamic was before you'd got here, Five said that both Viktor and Allison had fallen out with all their siblings for a few years after resetting the universe, which Five had mentioned casually like it wasn't something insane, before they were on speaking terms again.
From what Five had told you the siblings hadn't been close before the whole multiple apocalypses thing, but being thrown into a new universe without their powers finally made everyone support each other and, for the most part, get on. You had on quite a few occasions been witness some crazy sibling drama that made your own family fights seem like child's play.
The Hargreeves had no boundaries and didn't hold verbal punches or the odd physical one.
Speaking of Five, it looked like he wasn't going to make it after all, he'd told you he was going to try and get here for the twins, but he had a big job and wasn't making any promises.
"Well I'm entirely satisfied with mi amante" Lila said looking extremely pleased with herself.
"What about Luther, is there a real rogue stallion underneath that marshmallow exterior?" Lila turned her attention to Sloane who's face flushed in seconds.
"Lila!" She half whispered shock widening her eyes, Lila groaned loudly in exasperation.
"I've been watching sex and the city and this is what normal women do,we're supposed to get together and talk about men and drink, well not the drinking part right now" She slurped her soda. Lila had been watching all the tv shows she'd missed growing up, apparently this was her current obsession.
You barely survived her reality tv phase.
"Luther is a gentleman and a romantic, he makes me mixtapes with songs that make him think about us, I have fifteen of them" She replied eyes whimsical.
Luther and Sloane were that kind of rosy, bubblegum love that you admired them of being capable of, they were both the sweetest and kindest people you knew.
"Oh, come on! Atleast tell me if you liked him better when he was big ol'gorilla man, do you miss all that hair?" Lila asked as Sloane went even redder than before, you couldn't help but laugh at the scandalised look on her face as she looked to you for help.
"You're going to poison Sloane's sweet and innocent mind" you chided, lips upturned in a slight smirk, Lila shrugged before flicking her eyes to you.
"What about Five?" She leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand.
"I bet the weird little turd gets off on you reading his own equations back to him" She grinned widely "Wait! no, is his idea of foreplay making you listen to his opinions on theoretical physics while telling him how smart he is?" Lila laughed loudly at her own joke.
"I couldn't say, so we shouldn't count it out" You answered dryly, even Sloane was laughing behind her hand.
"Why not? This is girls talk, ladies" She widened her eyes imploringly leaning in closer over the table.
"How would I know? Why don't you try asking him Lila and see how that goes?" You smiled sweetly taking a sip of your soda, imagining Five's face and response to Lila's questions made your smile widen around your straw.
"Well, you're the one who's got the hots for him, not me, why you do is beyond me"
You were sure you hadn't given away how infatuated you were with Five, infact you made a genuine effort to push down any kind of feelings you had for him at all, apparently your efforts were useless against ex time traveling assasins.
Nevermind, you could out deny a feeling better than anyone.
"Very funny, I don't have the hots for anyone, but if it makes you feel better I'll have 'girl talk' with you if I ever do" You smiled without teeth and took the last bite of your hot dog glancing over to watch the others bowling.
"Ok, I'm confused" Sloane said glancing at Lila who had a small equally confused frown on her face.
"About?" You prompted.
"Did you and Five really think none of us knew you're shacked up in that little love nest apartment of yours" Lila asked with her eyebrows pulled together.
"We're not shacked up" You responded too loudly immediately losing all your composure, you glanced behind you as if Five himself was going to suddenly appear and overhear Lila's accusation.
"Yes, you are" Lila shot back
"No, we're not" you retorted
"But you are"
"But I'm not"
"you definitely are"
"I'm definitely not" You hissed across the table.
"Is it because he's a grumpy old sod, are you even into older guys? But if you are, does that make him too young for you? or do they cancel each other out or is-" She questioned rapidly, tilting her head to the side with her eyes distant.
"Lila" You groaned cutting her off, you did not want to be having this conversation now or at any other time.
"Hey, I don't care if you aren't shagging, far be it from me to tell people how to love each other" She smiled encouragingly at you. Lila was too much almost all the time.
"We just want you both to be happy" Sloane joined in on the misplaced encouragement.
"No, no love, no nothing. We're just friends, we've always just been friends" You sighed the last words, you were sure your expression was pained.
"Got enough for the table, you're welcome" Allison said as she slid back into her seat pushing a large basket of fries into the middle of the table.
"Everything ok?" Viktor asked scooting his chair in and seeing Lila and Sloane's expressions. They were both still staring at you, almost like they were waiting for you to break and tell them you were lying.
"She says her and Five are just friends and always have been" Lila announced, her expression still dubious.
Allison and Viktors heads both snapped towards you mirroring the confusion being directed at you by the others, this anxiety inducing conversation made you feel like you were going to vibrate out of your own skin.
"I don't know why that's so shocking, anyone up for another round? my first one was just a practice so I'm all warmed up now" You gestured towards the lanes in desperation.
"Five is obsessed with you, I would know, I thought it was hilarious" Lila continued like you hadn't spoken.
"Hardly" You shot back annoyed.
"Five's actually really nice to you" Allison piped up, you glared at her and she had the decency to look alarmed.
"Five's nice to all of you…in his own way" You finished weakly. Five was the kind of person who would do whatever he could to make his family happy, but would also dish out a scathing verbal lashing in the next breath.
"It's just, Five has a soft spot for you" Viktor added carefully. Traitor.
You hated the little thrill that ran up your spine at those words, you were aware Five definitely did have a soft spot you'd somehow found your way into, he had a soft spot for all the members in his family, but you would never admit out loud how much satisfaction it gave you to know that you somehow managed to take up the most space in it.
"Five hasn't got alot of friends outside of your family, you ALL don't have alot of friends outside of your family" You shot them all a pointed look "I'm probably the closest friend he's ever had that's just…a normal person"
"We just-" Sloane began, but you we're long since done with the line of questioning.
"Look, Five's not the type of guy to mince words, if he had a thing for me I'd know by now" You were internally applauding at how nonchalant you managed to make your voice sound considering how much it hurt to knowing how true that statement was.
"Babe, did you see that? I totally smoked him" Luther appeared next to Sloane wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah you're just lucky the twins were distracting me" Diego muttered as he reached over to grab a hand full of fries.
"Shit, I forgot to order food for the kids" Lila scrambled out of her chair as a mob of children made their way over.
"Sloane?" You smiled gesturing towards the lanes, she nodded rapidly and stood to follow you. No one mentioned you or Five again for the rest of the afternoon so you had considered that fire put out, you just hoped no one mentioned it to Five himself, you weren't sure your self esteem could handle him relaying to you how stupid his family was to ever think the both of you could ever be more than what you already were.
-
It was around three o'clock on Saturday, Five had gone three doors down in your apartment building to see your neighbors, they were two elderly men who lived on the same floor as you. The three of them would get together to play chess or cards and talk for a couple of hours, you supposed Five felt like they had enough life experience to relate to.
Their birthday had passed in the week, Five was away for the past four days so you didn't get to celebrate it with him, but all of you were tonight. Klaus and Luther had organized a party for their siblings at Viktor's bar. Klaus was currently three years sober, but high on life as he'd say, you'd always thought he was eccentric and a little mad, but apparently you hadn't seen him in his prime.
You heard your phone ringing while you were wiping the kitchen bench over, speak of the devil.
"Hey Klaus" You greeted as Klaus cooed your name in what sounded like relief.
"I'm so happy you answered, I have a soiree emergency" Klaus whined into the phone.
"What kind of emergency?" You asked leaning against the counter.
"I'll tell you all about it when you get here, meet me at mine in an hour" He said hurriedly.
"Oh, um ok" You nodded to yourself slightly bewildered by the change in your plans.
"You know you should just get ready here too, by the time we're done it'll be party time anyway! We'll just doll ourselves up here" He said cheerfully into the phone and hung up abruptly before you could accept or decline.
You glanced up at the clock confused, the party didn't start for another three hours, what kind of emergency were you walking into? It could be anything with Klaus so it was best to keep and open and prepared mind.
You went to your room and gathered your things into a bag, you hadn't actually gone 'out' in the year you'd been here, sure you'd been at bars and gotten way too drunk quite a few times, but you'd never actually gotten dressed up for anything, mostly because you didn't have a dime to your name and hand me downs were all you had until you could afford to restart your wardrobe.
The only dress you had that wasn't office wear was a short sleeve knee-length red dress that was probably too casual, but it'd do. You slung your bag onto your shoulder and closed your small wardrobe, the apartment you and Five shared wasn't very big, but it was cozy. Your bedroom was a little bare besides some books and a lamp on your bedside table, a few knick knacks and a dressing table.
You made your way out of the apartment, quickly petting a sleeping Mr. Pennycrumb on the head on your way, and headed three doors down, knocking loudly until you heard a voice tell you to come in. You opened the door to see the three of them sitting at a round table in the kitchen, cards in hand.
"Thought you were pizza" John smiled in greeting. He was a sweet old man, he and Mervin both were.
"What's wrong?" Five frowned looking at the bag on your shoulder and straightening in his chair.
"Nothing, Klaus wants help with the party" You smiled reassuringly. Five was usually on edge and ready for there to be a disaster, despite everything being normal for the last few years it didn't seem to be something he could shake.
"What's he done now?" Five visibly relaxed looking back down at his cards.
"Not sure, you never really know with him, how's poker guys?" You turned to the two elderly men.
"Like usual, he's taking advantage of the elderly" Mervin answered gesturing at Five.
"You'd still be walking away with an empty wallet if you were twenty years younger, Merv" Five responded.
"Would you have even been alive twenty years ago?" Mervin quipped back.
"Touche'" Five answered pushing more chips forward as John swore under his breath. You didn't think there'd be a better poker face around than Five.
"I won't be back, be there at six remember" You interjected stepping back towards the front door "Hopefully your luck turns guys, might humble him a little, he needs it" You smiled overly sweet at Five's raised eyebrow before leaving with a wave.
Hold on" Five put his cards down and made his way towards you before you could leave. He shut the door behind him, leaning back against it and watching your face closely.
"Party emergency, huh?" He raised his eyebrow, voice full of suspicion.
"Klaus didn't elaborate. You need to stop being so paranoid" You chided gently, folding your arms with a soft smile.
"Forgive me, if I don't have alot of faith in my family's ability to not completely run the most simplest of tasks off the rails" Five seemed satisfied with your answer.
"Before I forget, no suits" You added quickly.
"What's wrong with the suits?" Five asked, clearly offended."It's a party, not work, I know Allison got you clothes for you birthday, wear them"
"Can't I just wear this?" Five pulled on the blue plaid shirt over the black tee he was wearing.
"No" You answered flatly.
"Call me if you find out Klaus' emergency is actually a catastrophe" He conceded with a sigh slipping back through the door way.
_
"You remember that right?" Lila asked as you drank more water finally beginning to sober up.
"Yeah, but I don't see what that has to do with me? Klaus had an emergency, that ended up being sorted out before I even got there so we just got ready and-" You stopped suddenly as memories started flooding back more vividly.
You were all now in the living room, apparently all of the Hargreeves with the exception of Five were in on this 'master plan'. Your gaze flicked to Klaus who lowered his own in shame. You looked back between Lila and Klaus a few more times as things came together in your head. God damn Lila and her romcom obsession.
“Those dresses" Your voice had gone up an octave in embarrassment.
-
When you'd arrived at Allison's ready to help Klaus with whatever issues he was having he'd answered the door cheerfully telling you it had all been worked out. You'd been annoyed you came all the way here and weren't needed.
Klaus shuffled your into the house anyway and you were talking around Allison's kitchen table for awhile when Allison asked what you were wearing to the party tonight. You opened your bag and pulled out your dress pressing it against yourself with a smile.
"Oh, that's nice" Allison nodded looking the dress up and down."
But, we were thinking we'd go all out, you know? dress to the nines being our birthday and all" Klaus smiled widely nodding his head like he was trying to convince you this was a brilliant idea.
"To the nines?" You questioned.
"Yes, like this" Allison jumped off the couch and hurried into the next room returning with a gorgeous blue cocktail dress that looked much more fancy than what you were holding.
"I don't really have anything like that" You shrugged with a weak smile "This'll be fine"
"I have options" Allison said excitedly before taking off further into the house as Klaus turned and held up his outfit for the night with an encouraging smile. Allison came back with several dresses and shoe boxes on her hip. You looked over to a smiling Ray and Klaus and decided why not? why not go all out.
You proceeded to try on four dresses and sets of heels before landing on the one you all agreed was perfect, apparently showing some leg was necessary, and next thing you knew Allison was doing your hair and you were putting on makeup. You hadn't seen yourself look like this in what felt like a long time.
-
You were quiet for a moment.It hadn't struck you until right now how strange it was that Allison had dresses and shoes that conveniently fit you, that you were lured there under false pretenses to get 'dolled up' before the event, how Klaus had literally told you that you looked like 'sultry temptress' before you left the house, how Lila was also conveniently uninvolved because in hindsight this had Lila written all over it.
"Did you try and pimp me out to your brother?!" You yelled when the realization washed over you.
A chorus of "No's" met your ears and frantic denials followed, everyone was talking over each other and you couldn't make out what they were saying until Klaus' voice caught your attention.
"It wasn't anything, you know, immoral! We just thought you both were skipping over the hot and sexy honeymoon phase, you know the sweaty, needy-" Klaus laid a hand on your arm in what you were sure was meant to be comforting but only frazzled you more.
"Klaus!" Diego interrupted loudly shaking his head.
"Look, Five's an emotionally stunted asshole, we just thought he needed reminding that you were an attractive, living breathing human” Diego was moving his hands around to signify something you weren't sure you wanted to fully understand.
"This is insane" You dropped your head into your hands "This is really fucked up"
"We only did it because Five didn't want to talk about it and neither did you" Luther attempted to defend their actions.
"What do you mean, he didn't want to talk about it?" Your deadpan tone cut like ice through the room.
"Well, after the twins birthday, we were curious because up until then we all thought you two were already together and just weren't very, you know, publicly affectionate. So we wanted to hear his side of the story" Sloane answered from Luther's side as your pulse anxiously quickened with every word.
"He shot us down hard when we tried to talk to him about it, he was- he was actually really mean" Luther looked down at his and Sloane's clasped hands with a furrowed brow.
You couldn't stop the scandalized, panicked look crossing your features. You couldn't think, this was an inconceivable disaster.
"So nothing happened?" Diego asked carefully.
Everyone was staring at you, seemingly unaware of your internal meltdown, waiting for your confirmation and you decided to end the narrative you'd been unknowingly slotted into once and for all. You were going to tell them the truth so this whole debacle could die right here and now, well the heavily redacted version of it anyway.
-
You'd walked into the party to find Five, Luther, Sloane and Viktor already there, Five was always on time and Lila and Diego were always late so that was no surprise. The bar was decorated with streamers and balloons with a huge 'Happy Birthday' banner strung up.
Everyone was dressed up so all the anxiety you'd had in turning up overdressed faded immediately although Klaus had told you that "You can never be too overdressed or too overly compensated" when you'd verbalized that worry before you arrived.
You smiled at the whistles as you all walked in, Klaus spun himself around showing off his outfit, he always looked relaxed and effortlessly put together in a way only he could.
"I love your dress" Sloane jumped up out of her seat excitedly, her emerald green cut out dress looked gorgeous on her frame.
"Beautiful, right?" Sloane asked the table, but your eyes fell on Five, he'd taken your advice and ditched the suit for a blue button up dress shirt and slacks, still formal, but more relaxed.
"Stunning" Five answered sending heat into your stomach "You all look stunning" Five raised his drink looking around the table at the other ladies.
"Oh, thanks Five" Klaus answered as Five rolled his eyes with a small tilt to his mouth.
The rest of the night was one of the most fun you'd had in a long time, drinks were flowing and going down really well, your cheeks hurt for smiling so much and everyone looked so happy, not one argument had broken out so far and it was almost midnight.
You were standing at the bar waiting for the bartender to order a drink and looking over at your found family. The bar had mostly cleared out now, you were all definitely the rowdiest bunch in here for hours now. Everyone was dancing like idiots near the jukebox, it was nights like this that made you feel like this was where you actually belonged all along.
"Having fun?" The bartender asked grabbing your attention, you'd worked with him a few times when you were pulling shifts in Viktors bar before you found your office job, but couldn't place his name at the moment.
"Too much" You answered with a laugh swaying further into the bar.
"Same again?" He asked holding up a glass.
"She'll have two, thanks" Five's familiar voice interrupted before you could answer, he slid into the space beside you. Five had a way of making his almost rude, expectant tone endearing, or maybe that was just you.
Five had been almost handsy tonight, you weren't sure if it was normal for a drunk Five, but it was much different than a sober or slightly buzzed Five you'd known before, not that you were complaining.
As the night went on he seemed to relax more, when you were sitting at the table with his family you could feel his leg pressing against yours, barely at first, but unmistakable as the night went on. His hand brushing along your arm when moving around you, his long fingers threading through your own while you were dancing with each other, shoulder leaning against yours whenever you were near.
"You having a good time?" You asked turning to face him fully.
"More than I thought" He answered , his bright green eyes glossy.
"See, if you just let yourself you could actually be fun on occasion" A mischevious grin crossed your face as he pretended to take offense.
"I recall you and I having alot fun together on many different occasions" He leaned in closer, voice low with a cocky smirk stretching his mouth. You knew what he meant, but it still made your stomach flip. His dark hair was messier than usual and sticking to his face with sweat from dancing and a few buttons had been undone at some point, he looked disheveled in the best way possible. You were glad the bartender returned with drinks so you had a moment to collect yourself.
"What do you mean more than you thought? How did you spend your actual, wait which birthday is it?" You asked trying to do the numbers in your head.
"Sixty seventh" He finished for you taking a sip of his drink.
"Sixty seventh" you whistled impressed "what does one do for his sixty seventh birthday? Bingo?" You teased.
"Hilarious" He rolled his eyes "Actually, I spent the day trailing after another politician cheating on his wife, really riveting stuff, and then I treated myself to a filet mignon and a fat glass of cognac" He responded, leaning his side into the bar.
"Just one?"
"Maybe three" He winked.
"What more could you want?" You laughed taking a sip of your drink.
"I didn't plan to be on the job that long, I really just wanted to get home to you and the lil' guy, thought we could've taken a trip to that award winning gin distillery upstate I was telling you about" It wasn't fair for him to say things like that when it made your chest squeeze like this.
"We should go tomorrow" You said looking up at him excitedly, that sounded perfect.
"Neither of us are going to be in any state to be going on adventures tomorrow, at this rate I might not even rise before noon" You forgot that you were currently swaying where you stood and Five was in a similar state.
"Oh, ofcourse, how could I expect the geriatrically challenged to keep up with me" You teased pushing off the bar to stand.
"Geriatrically challenged" Five echoed his eyes widening and his eyebrows shooting up, it wasn't often you surprised Five, but you enjoyed the instances when they came "I'd give you a run for your money any day"
"I'm sure you could've back in your hey day, now…" you trailed off with a smile into your glass.
"Oh, so you're shit talkin' me too now, you're spending too much time with my family" Five scoffed mouth widening in a grin as he leaned in closer into your personal space, playful expression mirroring your own.
"Sixty seven or not, I promise you'd be the one trying to keep up with me, I have no doubt about that" You were used to Five's quips, but you were quickly remembering why you, Five and alcohol was a recipe for an arrhythmia.
"Hey!" You heard Diego's voice boom over the music "Get out here, this is Queen, you always dance to Queen" He waved an arm at his family who's dance moves had grown sloppier now, Lila was hanging off his arm pointing her finger at the ground too.
"That's our cue" You grabbed at the interruption desperately.
"Bottoms up" Five said holding his glass towards you. You clinked them together and downed the rest of your drink in one go shaking your head at the burn and wiping your mouth, bad idea. Five grabbed your wrist and pulled you with him to the dance floor to the cheers of his family.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't like this side of Five, you'd originally pegged him for a despondent drunk, but it was the opposite. He was more affectionate with everyone and his rare genuine smiles were crossing his face more freely and you'd over heard him being nothing short of sentimental while speaking to Luther and Klaus earlier.
In all honestly it was driving your muddled brain crazy, it was much easier to keep up pretense when dealing with everyday Five, but you couldn't ignore the burn in your cheeks as his arm wound around your waist, holding you tight against him as he swayed with you. You don't think you've ever been this close to Five to feel how nice it felt to have his body pressed against yours, how right it felt to wrap an arm around his neck and look up at his smiling face and warm eyes.
It all became too much at one point and you expertly spun yourself away and straight into Viktor who linked his arm with yours, at one point Luther lifted Five into the air while he flailed around and you laughed so hard your sides hurt. Viktor and you were twirling each other around the room both of you moving your hips to the music, you yelped as Klaus grabbed your arm and whisked you away, moving your arms back and forth singing lyrics to you as you sang back.
You knew you should have left earlier than you had, you certainly should have left before Luther found a microphone and decided there'd be a karaoke section of the night, Diego and Luther's very animated cover of 'Baby got back' had everyone in stitches, although Five and Lila's rendition of 'Don't go breaking my heart' was oddly decent.
You weren't sure what time it was when the cold night air hit your face as you made your way to Allison's car, Klaus being the only sober one of the group was driving, you waved to the others as they fell into their taxi's. You grabbed onto Five's arm as you stumbled, giggles spilling out of your mouth as his other arm swung around to keep you steady.
"Ok, all inebriated folk into the vehicle" Klaus called opening the door to the backseat waving his arm like he was attempting to herd you all. You glanced back to see Ray and Allison lip locked and swaying in the door way of the bar, Viktor must have already taken off upstairs and locked up.
You shuffled into the car with Five following in behind you, his body was pressing yours into the inside of the door his head falling backwards onto the headrest behind him.
"Jesus, what time is it?" He groaned, peeking an eye open to look at you.
"No idea" You let your head fall back to rest against the seat too "Mr. P is going to be pissed" You realised pursing your lips together in amusement.
"Shit, he will be" Five agreed with a laugh
Ray slid into the seat beside you, he looked at you in what you thought was apprehension, you wanted to ask why, but the car suddenly taking off jolted you forward and away from the thought.
Five's head slipped to settle on top of your shoulder, you realised your fingers were still threaded with his and you had no pressing desire to change that.
"You smell really good" Five said lifting his head to peer down at you, eyes glassy, but focused.
"Yeah?" You asked, you weren't sure you smelt like anything other than alcohol and sweat.
"You always do" The look in his eyes seemed tender.
"You smell really nice too" You answered after too much thought. You adjusted yourself more comfortably against his body as Five's fingers tightened around your own. You wondered if you weren't so full of booze if this would feel alot more intimate than it did right now to be so close to Five that you could the smell remnants of the faded cologne on his neck where your cheek was pressed. You could have swore you heard someone make a choking sound somewhere in the car and the car itself start moving faster.
"Are you both feeling ok?" Ray's loud voice made you and Five jerk apart.
"What?" You asked blinking in confusion at him, Allison had turned around in her seat looking worriedly at the three of you, but mostly at Ray.
"Yeah? Why" You asked looking to Five who looked equally unhappy to be disturbed.
"Just don't want anyone throwing up in my car" He laughed loudly.
"Here we are" Klaus announced as the car stopped abruptly infront of your apartment building.
"Finally" Five yawned.
"Thankyou" You smiled at Klaus as you pried the car door open trying to not fall over as Five's weight followed yours. You held onto each other for support, your arm around Five's waist and his across your shoulder
“Bye" you called as Five slammed the door behind him. "You kids be safe now" Klaus called from the open window "don't go shakin' the sheets too hard, or actually do! Happy Birthday little brother" Klaus finished merrily as Allison and Ray cackled. Five turned back to give him the finger as he drove away. "Bunch of morons" He mumbled as you both helped each other into your building. The stairs left you both laughing and took you way too long to ascend, you felt so blissfully untroubled. "There we go" Five said triumphantly as he finally found his keys and pushed the door open. Mr. Pennycrumb was sitting in the middle of the hallway waiting for the both of you, you swore he looked admonishing. "He's judging us" You told Five. "So he should, it must be exhausting being the only responsible one of us" Five bent down and scooped him up. "Night cap?" He turned to you with a raised eyebrow. You hesitated, you should go to bed, you should take the gift that you hadn't done anything irredeemingly embarrassing tonight and be grateful. "C'mon it's my birthday" An easy grin spread across Five's face as he scratched under Mr. Pennycrumbs chin stoodin the kitchen doorway. "Not anymore" You gestured to the clock behind Five who frowned as he turned to follow your gaze to the clock before turning back to you eyes almost pleading. "But, why not" You continued, you were only human. You fell into the couch taking a deep breath, one drink and bed, you could do that. You were absolutely fine, you weren't practically vibrating from the last few hours of being on the recieving side of Five's lingering touches. Mr. Pennycrumb rounded the couch with a treat in his mouth, and you leant down to pat his head. He happily accepted and moved to return to his bed in the corner. Five dropped into the couch beside you, extending a glass towards you, he chose to sit close rather than on the other end, something you were acutely aware of. "Thanks" you said clearing your throat "that was so much fun, I love your family" You turned to face Five, his green eyes were already watching your face. "They have their moments" He took a drink.
“Please, you're a big softy when it comes to them, I can see how happy it makes you just to see them all so happy" You beamed. Five gave you a pointed look, but didn't deny it. You leaned back further into the couch, a silence falling over the both of you. It was nothing new with him, sometimes Five would get a thoughtful, almost frustrated look on his face like he was thinking really hard, just like now, and it was best not to interrupt whatever thought had taken him away. Occassionally he'd indulge you in whatever was plaguing his mind, other times he wouldn't, though those times were few and far between these days. "Are you?" He suddenly asked turning his head towards you "Happy, that is?" You hadn't expected the question, Five watched you carefully, eyes flicking over your face like he'd be able to tell if you were lying, he probably could. "Hmmm, that's a loaded quesiton" you chuckled. You almost considered leaving it at that, or giving a simple superficial answer. "I'm happy, sometimes I feel bad for being happy here like I shouldn't be allowed to, it's probably stupid" You answered honestly, fingers fidgeting with your necklace, it was one of the only things you had from home. There were so many nights when you held this necklace like an anchor, reminding yourself you weren't crazy, that it was all real and you had people who loved you, who missed you out there. That you weren't alone.
You felt guilty, you knew it wasn't a trauma competition, but atleast you had people, atleast you weren't alone like Five was for so long. Your heart clenched whenever you thought about how long Five spent isolated from the world, all the things Five did to not only survive, but to get back to his family, horrible things you knew you'd never know the true extent of. "It is stupid" he answered without pause causing your head to jerk towards him, eyebrows pulling together "You deserve to be happy" Five's brow was pinched, he was watching your fingers gliding over the charm on your necklace, he looked almost despairing. "If I could get you home, I would" Five didn't look up from your chest. "I know you would" You answered swallowing thickly, dropping your necklace. Five had tried, without even telling you he'd been researching with what little information he had. He'd come up empty just as you had. Your body seized up as you felt fingers against the bare skin of your chest, Five had reached up to replace your own with his, twirling the charm on yout necklace.. "I hate being this powerless, my powers only ever brought chaos and I used to wish for this kind of peace, but I never anticipated getting it by losing my abilities, even after all this time it still feels like something is missing" He spoke seemingly oblivious to the mayhem he was causing inside of you, his eyes remained trained on your necklace, you were sure he must be able to feel your heart thudding against his fingers as they slid delicately over your bare skin, goosebumps following their wake. "Maybe i could have done something, anything other than nothing" His jaw clenched. "You haven't done nothing, you..." You whispered trailing off as Five's eyes darted up to yours when you spoke. "I would have done everything" He told you resolutely, staring into your eyes with an intensity you only knew Five to possess. Your heart pumped wildly in your chest, as much as you tried to deny it to yourself, brush it off and bury it down as deep as you could push it, Five felt like home here in this place where you didn't have one. He felt like home in a way you'd never had, even before all this, and it scared the hell out of you. You were pretty certain without the liquid courage flowing through your veins you wouldn't have had the nerve to lean in and press your lips to Five's slightly parted mouth. You felt his body stiffen the moment your lips made contact with his. You pressed your mouth against his more firmly, soft lips slotting against yours so sweetly, but noticeably unresponsive. You pulled back, panic building in your chest, a hundred different excuses were running through your mind on how to excuse what you'd just done, Five's eyes were wide with surprise, honestly you'd surprised yourself. Atleast you knew now and you didn't have to wonder anymore if you'd been braver if things could have been different. You weren't sure that notion was going to stop you from crying yourself to sleep later in embarrassment over this rejection. Before you could start putting a voice to one of those excuses you felt Five's palms cup either side of your face and his lips pressing back against yours more forceful than yours had been. Five kissed like a man starved, opened mouth and desperate. When you'd enetertained fantasies of this you had wondered if Five would be somewhat awkward, with excited fumbling hands, while you took the reigns for once. His social skills weren't exactly great and majority of his human to human contact was of the violent kind, so it wasn't a crazy assumption. Now that he was overwhelming your senses, tongue sliding against your own and one hand sliding down your neck and across your back, arm winding around you pulling you closer as your own hands grasped desperately at the front of his shirt pulling him in closer too, that seemed so stupid. Five approached everything with a mountain of over brimming confidence so why would this have be any different.
You trailed a hand up to run through his hair and Five made a noise that thrummed right through your body, you needed more so much more. You wrapped your hand around the back of his neck pulling him down with you as you laid backwards against the couch, widening your legs so he could slot against you exactly the way you wanted. You both moaned at the contact, you gasped as he ground down against you, pressure building between your legs with every movement of his hips against t yours. Five's mouth moved to your neck, open mouthed, wet kisses making you gasp. His hands were everywhere, your hair, your face, gliding down your body murmuring appreciatively against your neck. Your hands found their way under the back of his shirt, warm skin against your fingers, as Five hissed. "Fuck" he groaned into your neck, mouth close to your ear. You felt his hand slide along your outer thigh, moving underneath your dress and cupping your ass with a squeeze as he pulled your body harder against his, you could feel how hard he was through the fabric separating you, you needed it gone, you needed to feel more of his skin against yours. "You have no idea how many things I want to do to you" He groaned into your ear, mouth returning to yours. Five's fingers traced along the side of your underwear on your thigh, so far from where you desperately needed them, he hooked a finger underneath the fabric toying with them, pulling on them and stroking the skin beneath them getting closer to where you were aching for him. "Five" You gasped, you sounded wrecked and he'd barely even touched you. "Bedroom" He muttered against your mouth, pulling you upwards, mouth not leaving your own as your arms wound around his neck. When you were standing he suddenly jerked you both forward making you yelp in surprise. He pulled back to look at you, an annoyed pout forming on his lips. Your distracted brain eventually realised Five had tried to 'blink' you both out of here, something he occassionally did out of habit and you let out a giggle as Five's eyes met yours. He had such pretty eyes, you leaned forward to press your lips to his again. Without warning Five's expression changed into something you didn't recognise making you pause. "Shit" He gasped putting space between you. "What?" You questioned blinking in confusion. "Fuck" He muttered backing away further, hand coming up to bury itself in his hair "Five?" You moved to follow and his arm shot out to stop you. "I'm sorry, I lost my head for a second" He looked like he was in distress. He looked back up at you, eyes wide with something akin to fear, it made your stomach turn. "I have to-" He gestured towards the hallway and he was gone. You were stunned, left standing in the middle of the living room. This was not good, you debated on checking on him, but you didn't think that was a good idea. You sat on the couch with a heavy thud. You should've just gone to bed.
-
The next morning you were still laying in bed, the sun long since risen, and you'd woken up ages ago. You were sure you could atleast hide in here until dinner until Five came seeking signs of life, actually maybe that was presumptuous of you, maybe Five would prefer you to seclude yourself in here until he left for his next case tomorrow morning. He'd told you he'd only be gone for two days at the most this time, you almost felt bad for wishing he was heading off for once of his long haul jobs that meant you wouldn't see him for atleast a week, but the more you replayed what happened last night the less guilty you felt for wanting distance. You'd heard movement somewhere in the apartment some time ago, most likely Five getting up for his first coffee of the day.
The idea of facing him seemed impossible, what were you going to say? What would he say? Part of you hoped he'd pretend nothing happened at all, but Five wasn't the type to let things go without resolution so you weren't counting on it.
You sighed, lying here was only putting off the inevitable and letting anxiety build more and more in your chest, atleast facing him would get this over and done with and you could stop twisting your own stomach in knots about what the outcome of it would be. Your ears perked up when you heard more movement followed by the front door opening and closing, Five must have been taking Mr. Pennycrumb out, he usually took him for a walk on the mornings he was home. Mr. P couldn't go that far in his old age so you knew you only had limited time before Five would be back. You took this opportunity to drag yourself out of your bed, you weren't going to miss a chance to be showered and caffeinated. You sat at the small kitchen table idly flicking through yesterdays newspaper, sipping on coffee and feeling alot fresher than when you'd woken up. You hadn't got much sleep and you had poured a lot of alcohol into your body so you were understandably not feeling your best. You gave a brief thought to eating something, but your stomach felt on the verge of evacuating as you anxiously waited to hear the click of the front door. You had thought it was easier to be the one approached rather than the one approaching, but the anticipation was consuming your nerves. One of two things were going to happen, you were either about to live through rejection part two or there was a chance Five felt the same, it was possible wasn't it? Maybe Five had felt overwhelmed with suddenly moving from 0 to 100 with you, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. You were avoiding fully thinking about a third option of Five wanting you to leave. If grasping at delusional straws gave you the courage to keep sitting here you'd keep on grasping. You had already done the hard part and made your feelings rather obvious, all you had to do was talk about it. You'd just finished your cup of coffee when you finally heard the rustle of keys in the front door and a lightning bolt of anxiety shot through your body. Mr. Pennycrumb came toddling into the kitchen straight towards you as you heard the front door close, you leaned down the pat him as you heard Five's footsteps coming down the hallway. You looked up as he came through the door way, he looked surprised to see you for a brief moment before quickly schooling his expression. One of the most annoying things about Five was that it was almost impossible to tell what he was thinking from his expression if he didn't want you to know. "Morning" He greeted hanging up his keys "I thought I was gonna have to lure you out with coffee" You noticed he was holding two coffee cups in his hands. He moved closer placing both on the table and taking a seat across from you. "It's only ten" You replied, your voice sounded odd even to yourself, Five hummed in response. Silence fell over you both, as you reached forward taking a long sip of your coffee, it was still hot and much better than what you'd made for yourself. You heard Five let out a long sigh and you raised your eyes to meet his. "We should talk about last night" His gaze was steady, straight into it then, no nerves on Five's part. "We should" You agreed fidgetting with the lid on your coffee cup. "Things got a bit out of hand" He recounted, he didn't immediately continue like he was waiting to see if you'd object.
"The scotch got the better of both of us, lines got blurry, but still I shouldn't have let that happen" Five stated, face still unreadable. "Why?" The question came out steadier than you felt considering you weren't sure where the sudden surge of bravery came from to counter him. Five regarded you for a moment before sighing your name and running his hand through his hair. "I wasn't that drunk Five, I knew what I was doing" You continued before he could speak. "No, you don't" You swore his expression looked pained for a second before falling back into his default indifference. You bristled at his response. “ I don’t?" You responded bewildered. "I know it's confusing, me being inside this body, and it's only natural with all the time we spend together that-" Five began, but you could see where this was going. "I don't care about that" You interrupted fiercely. "You should" Five shot back without missing a beat. "Five-" "I'm too old for you" Five didn't let you get any further. "This is hardly a normal situation Five, If your age is what you're worried about, don't be" you defended, eyes pleading as Five's own felt like they were accessing you carefully. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather" Five retorted. You were floored by his admission, Five's tone left no room for argument, but you made some anyway. "I'm entirely aware of your age Five, please don't insult me by implying I'm not competent enough to decide how I feel about you, all I need to know is if you feel the same way about me?" You insisted. Five was quiet for a moment, his gaze had dropped to the table infront of him, his jaw was tense and his hand was clenching at the edge of the table. You opened your mouth to continue, but Five's eyes flicked up to yours and the look in them stopped you. "None of that negate's the fact that if I was in the body I should be right now we'd be having a very different conversation" Five's tone was hard. A heavy silence fell between you as you took in his words. "I imagine you'd be horrified, infact" Five leaned back in his chair, eyes still boring into you "not that you'd have kissed me in the first place" "That's not fair" Your voice sounded whiny to your own ears. You wanted to deny it, but Five would see right through that because Five was right. You couldn't deny that if you had instead met a sixty six year old Five that you wouldn't even have considered him romantically, but that was all hypothetical because this was an extra ordinary situation. "No, I don't suppose it is" He agreed "but it's the truth" He leaned forward taking a sip of his coffee, like he considered the conversation over. "Ok, lets ignore your age for a minute" you saw Five open his mouth to argue, but you didn't give him a chance "you didn't answer my question" you swallowed thickly, Five sighed sounding resigned and spoke after what felt like a lengthy pause. "I like things the way they are between us, I've come to consider you a close friend" Five words cut through you like knives, you knew this was a possibility, but it didn't soften the blow "I understand if this changes things between us and I understand if you no longer want to be here" For the first time Five's voice wavered. "You want me to leave?" You murmured almost breathless. "No, I don't" Five's eyes softened "But I'd understand if you were too uncomfortable to stay" You didn't respond, you couldn't, you felt like you were close to breaking apart. Later you'd play this conversation back in embarrassment, why did you sit here trying to convince Five to love you back when he so clearly didn't reciprocate, further proving your immaturity. "I'll give you some space, I have some errands to run before I leave tomorrow" Five stood from the table as you nodded. You hated how unaffected by this he seemed, you wondered if he had known about your feelings this whole time and was hoping you wouldn't act on it. You turned your head to the side when you heard Five call your name.
“I’m sorry" He looked genuine, like it pained him to hurt you. "It's fine, I understand" You gave him a weak smile that didn't reach your eyes. "Your feelings will fade with time" He nodded his head once resolutely before turning to leave. You felt a tear slip down your cheek. Your feelings will fade with time? He might aswell have stabbed you with how hard your heart squeezed at those words. - "So, yeah long story short he did not, does not, have feelings for me" You looked up at the Hargreeves siblings faces. You'd told a very watered down, borderline complete retelling of events, to the siblings. But you didn't exactly want to recount how their brother had his hands all over your body before rejecting your feelings. No one spoke for a moment, Diego made a few stuttered noises like he was trying to speak. "Guys?" You muttered hesitantly. Suddenly the room was chaos, voices overlapping, questions mounting on top of each other before you could make sense of them. God, this was going to be a long night.
A/N- I’m not very good with smut, but I try with it, Five’s age situation is so interesting to me, either way I hope you enjoyed
Being a Harry girl who reads fanfic can be so frustrating at times. When I search up Harry Potter x reader. ITS CAUSE I WANT HARRY X READER FICS! NOT DRACO, OR FRED OR CEDRIC!
CW: 18+, MDNI, RPF, brief reference to past murder, cannibalism if you squint, smoochin, dry humping, oral sex, light bondage
Reader: vampire!reader, cisfemale!reader, not too descriptive with readers appearance, implied to be smaller than Joost but by an unspecified amount
Notes: Read part 1 here. Sorry for how atrociously long this part took! Vampire Joost in the Why Not??? mv helped give me the inspo to finish. I hope you guys like it because I can’t tell if I do or not. Thanks for reading!
Gargantuan kudos to @joosthead for being my inspiration and my support as always! Also huge shoutout to @catholicfacade and @tkomptgoedluv for your kind words that have driven me onwards with this fic! My tumblr homies on god
Words: ~11,600
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You're not sure why you left Joost standing there.
Why you ran away.
Again.
Things were going so well. You could have kissed him. Could have done all sorts of things. It's not like he wasn't into it.
Maybe it was just to get a reaction. Joost is so expressive. The way he looks at you is already something you crave and you've really only just met. Maybe it’s because as much as you want to believe you overreacted that first night, you're still not really sure you did. Nothing has made you lose control like that since the time you literally ate someone.
The doubt tickles at the back of your mind but it’s also hard to pay it too much attention when the insistent pressure of Joost’s cock against your ass is seared so clearly into your memory. It’s hard not to want to see him again.
Still, if you’re doing this, you’re taking no chances.
Joost is expecting you at his studio tomorrow, so tonight, Melkweg is the place to be. Tickets to actually see a show are too expensive when you're not there to enjoy yourself so the cold evening is spent against the even-colder cement wall of a movie theater across the street. Wedged between gently lit ads for Bones and All and Puss in Boots you watch those who have partied too hard trickle out of Melkweg’s ever-revolving door. Each is more than drunk enough to suit your needs, but tonight they are all in groups. So responsible. So unhelpful. When one guy finally stumbles out sans-friend you let yourself follow, slipping into those same shadows that are deeper than ever.
Fall is well underway and nights are only getting longer.
A few streets away the lamps are sparse enough and he goes down easy. His blood is hot and sharp and everything it should be, but it’s hard to miss how unmoved you are by the man beneath you. He tastes good, it scratches an itch, but your attention is divided and the whole process somehow feels clinical. Even now you're thinking of Joost. How you wish it were him. How he would moan when your teeth slide in deep. Deeper than he expects. Would he still be so happy-go-lucky then? Or would he claw and beg? You don’t even know which one you prefer. The man groans and you realize you're biting way too hard.
It was a good idea to do this tonight.
You try to drink your fill, as much as you suspect the poor guy can tolerate, and release him. He nearly stumbles into the canal in his panic, but rights himself before you have to make a watery rescue. His hot blood simmers in your veins, warming you against the evening chill as you watch him stagger down the street and disappear. Hopefully he can find his way home on a cold night like this.
Anti-murder insurance measures complete, you head for your own home with what you hope is a full belly.
The morning doesn't bring the rain so typical of your new favorite city, but instead a creeping mist. Almost as thick as the shadows that multiply with each passing night, the tiny droplets obscure the neighborhood as you stand on your balcony ruminating on how very in-control you will be today.
The address Joost gave is surprisingly close to your own apartment. The brisk ride on your shabby bike that may or may not have originally belonged to someone else lasts only ten minutes. 16 Schimmelstraat is like much of Amsterdam. One of many brick row houses lined up one after another, complete with compulsory loading beam and hook jutting out above the top window, leftover from when the street was once a canal. There are a few small shops tucked in at ground level but most of the buildings appear residential. Few people are on the street and with the way the sun can’t quite penetrate through the murky whiteness, the world almost seems to stand still.
Joost stands on the stoop at the end of the row in what looks like at least three hoodies. He’s still so beautiful it’s shocking. Leaning against cold whitewashed brick, much as you did last night, he smokes lazily. The tendrils curl up and away from perfect pouty lips to join with the mist and you can imagine the city is enshrouded all because of him.
You see Joost long before he sees you. Hard not to spot a glowing head of hair like that even in this murkiness. Here in the Netherlands it shouldn’t stand out, but it did in the club and it does now too. You’re sure it’s just the almost-mullet. Nothing to do with the way his features are imprinted on your hindbrain.
When he notices you coming down the street, his face lights up just like before. He can barely stub out his cigarette as he keeps looking up like you’ll disappear. Bounding down the steps on those long long legs, Joost skids to a halt mere inches away, nearly bowling you over and flooding you with his scent.
“Heyyy!” Joost looks so excited it's almost embarrassing. Hands flit around at his sides like he wants to touch but in the sober light of day he can't seem to find an excuse. It doesn't keep him from standing way too close for sanity. Already, your preparations are threatening to become useless as you fight the tug behind your eyes. “I’m happy you came!” He blurts, giddy. “I didn't know if you would really come in the middle of the day.”
You squint. He can’t be serious. “I’m not nocturnal, I just prefer the club at night!”
He giggles nervously “I wasn’t sure. Everyone knows vampires burn in the sun. Or sparkle. Looks like you don’t sparkle either.”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
He smiles so sweetly at that. “You don’t. I’m glad you came. Still want me to show you my stuff?” There's the eyebrow waggle again. You didn't know someone could look so sweet and so unrepentantly horny at the same time. “C’mon, it’s just upstairs.”
Opening the door, Joost lets you through before following you inside. Immediately faced with another door you try the handle, but before you can budge it there is a jingle and he leans past with a key. It’s obvious Joost is making a move when he lets his chest press against your back as he all but pens you in, breath fanning over your neck. It’s more than welcome, but in the tiny space trapping every molecule of his scent, it nearly makes you do something terrible..
“Wait, wait, hold on.” You whip around and press flat against the door to regain some space, trying desperately not to get riled. No matter your preparations, Joost is an assault on the senses.
“Sorry!” he pulls away quickly, big blue eyes searching you from behind thick black frames, eyebrows inching upwards. “Sorry. Was I reading this wrong?”
Holding your breath would help, but he's asked you a question and you can’t imagine ignoring a face like that. “No, you just..you smell too nice…and…I really need to get a handle on the eyes. Just…hold on one sec.” Joost absorbs that for a split second before melting back into a smile. “Oh, but we're alone, it's okay right? I like your eyes.”
Such a flatterer. And he’s kind of right, it is good that you're alone for this. It’s a goddamn miracle no one noticed your eyes at the club. Here, you almost want to take advantage of the opportunity to relax around such an unusually accepting person. Still, you know Joost is also an unusually slippery slope. “No- I’m trying not to-” you can’t even finish. He waits patiently while you fight it but the memory of him hard against your ass in the club makes a timely reappearance and the eyes snap into place.
“Fuck.” You cover them quickly.
He brings a hand to your wrist. “Let me see.” So gentle and so shameless, he convinces you easily. Dropping your hand, you meet his eyes and he holds them, just as mesmerized as before.
“That must be a huge pain in the ass.”
Your confusion must show because he clarifies “Hiding that all the time I mean. I’m glad I didn’t just buzz you in, Tantu might have been the one to get the door.”
You blink. “I don’t think Tantu would have been a problem.”
It’s his turn to look puzzled.
“I mean, this isn’t usually a problem. You just smell so much better than anyone else.” Now that you’re past pretending to be human you can’t find it in you to be anything other than blunt.
The gears turning in his head are all but visible as he swallows thickly, face pink. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Well, just give me a minute, I think I’m almost there.” something about what you say makes his stunned look slide into a smirk but you ignore it in favor of focusing on slowing your heart and pretending you don’t smell the spike of arousal coming off him.
You’re definitely not wet. Nope.
After another minute you take a deep breath, and even though the accompanying wave of pheromones makes you want to punch the wall, you manage to keep your eyes normal. “Okay, let’s go” He obliges, and you give him room to unlock the door.
Turns out, Tantu is the DJ from the club. One of the many of Joosts friends that had been there that night. You step into is in fact a very real studio full of very real equipment you couldn't even begin to guess the purpose of. Tantu daps Joost up with noticeable warmth and welcomes you into the space without fuss. It’s clear any friend of Joost’s is a friend of Tantu and he soon leaves you to return to stabbing at his computer. Joost shows you to his own in the opposite corner.
Right off the bat, you realize any assumptions you might have had about Joost had been wrong as he hands you the most expensive looking pair of headphones you've ever seen and proceeds to play you his entire studio album released just over a month ago. At the club he had said ‘huge artiest’ so jokingly, so flirtatiously, somehow managing to be modest mid-brag. You hadn’t known whether to believe him. You had hoped it would be true, but you hadn't really expected it.
Here, now, in the span of fourteen songs it becomes abundantly clear he’s not just some soundcloud rapper, not a wannabe star. He’s a real one.
He tells you a little about each song before he plays it. Who helped him the most in the end (mostly Tantu), where he was when he started writing it (so many places, he travels a lot), how he sampled this for this song and this for that song. He is deeply proud but you can tell there is also a layer of nervousness, like he truly wants you to like it.
You sing along to Fryslan Bop, the one from the club, and he laughs hysterically as you try and fail to imitate the sound of Dutch lyrics you can’t understand to the best of your memory.
Finally, you finish and he seems to be waiting for a review.
“I couldn’t understand almost any of that, sorry to say. Only fuck, the handful of other English words, and Joost Klein. That really is your favorite lyric isn't it?” He shrugs happily. “But I didn't need to. I liked it. It made me feel… things. You have a lot of range in your sound. All the festivals I went to this summer and nothing sounded like this.”
He’s grinning ear to ear. “Did you go to Pinkpop? I got to play this year!”
“Yes! I definitely didn't see you though, I would have remembered.”
He nods sagely. “Must have been a different day.”
You want to ask about the sad song in the middle of the album. Florida-something. So different from the upbeat tracks before and after. Somehow though, it feels like you can’t, like you shouldn't, and you let it lie.
“All right! What’s next?”
Joost remains flirtatious over the afternoon but it’s dramatically toned down compared to your last encounter. Maybe it’s just how he behaves normally, without the booze and the high of the club. Maybe it's shyness given Tantu within earshot. Either way, you have no such reservations.
“Y’know, I was half expecting it to be all talk. Like, I wondered if ‘come to my studio’ was code for my place or yours?” Tantu coughs in the corner and a blush creeps up Joost’s neck. His scent kicks up and you're reminded why flirting right now isn’t actually a good idea. Still, getting reactions out of Joost is a wonderful pastime and you can't help yourself. “This is so much better, this stuff is amazing, I’m serious. I think I’m gonna join the groupies.” From the corner of your eye you can see Tantu put on headphones. Joost looks rightfully smug.
Hmm, not shy then. Smug is good too.
After another hour of poking around in the files, you propose early dinner. Joost seems kind of surprised but suggests a few spots nearby. Maybe he expected you to bail again. To be fair, you’ve never stuck around this long before. Tantu declines to join, citing too much to do. A suspicious answer, but you won't complain if he wants to let you be alone with Joost.
Joost leads you to an Italian restaurant of all places. It’s a short walk but from the corner of your eye you catch him almost reach for your hand no less than four times. You don’t reach back, pretend not to notice. He hasn’t touched you since this morning when he crowded you against the door and you wish he would again but watching him squirm is so much fun. The November sun has already gone down and the neon sign for Antonio’s glows like a beacon on a street with few other lights. Joost stops to stare up at it. “Can you uh…can you eat garlic?”
What are you gonna do with this guy?
“No, I'll die.” He whips his head around. “Really?! Fuck, sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I know another place-.” You can’t keep a straight face. “No, I’m kidding. C’mon I’m hungry.” He follows, sputtering.
They must peg you for a couple because they automatically seat you at a table in the corner away from other customers. As you peruse the menu, Joost is unusually quiet. His eyes keep flicking up to you as you read. The waitress comes to take your order and his eyebrows disappear into his bangs when you ask for pasta. He’s still staring once she leaves and you can’t stand it any more.
“Dude, I can't drink blood all the time.”
He chokes on his water.
This is apparently the permission he needs to unleash the legion of questions that have been brewing since the fateful moment you rubbed up on his dick and disappeared into the night. Joost proceeds to take inventory of your personal brand of vampire with a thoroughness you did not expect. You really should have, considering the way his heart picks up every time anything vaguely vampiric takes place.
He’s a bit of a nerd about it actually.
“So you eat regular food?”
Yes.
“Do you have to drink blood?”
Yes.
“Do you have fangs?”
Yes.
“It doesn’t look like you have fangs.”
They’re retracted.
“Re..tracted.”
Not full length right now.
“Oh. Can you turn invisible?”
No.
“Can you brainwash humans?”
No. What?
“Can you turn into a bat?”
No!
“Okay, okay! How often do you have to drink blood?”
You tell him what you’ve found to be true over the years.
Blood doesn’t seem to be necessary for actual nutrition, but the longer you go without it the more you crave it, and ultimately the more forceful you become when you finally take what you need. It makes you feel healthier, it gives you energy, but beyond any of that it’s just an urge you always have. Abstaining for very long only leads to bad times for your unwilling donors when you finally give in. Indulging about twice a week seems to be the best for keeping people out of the hospital.
By the time the food arrives, Joost is looking suspiciously horny. Smells like it too. Resisting the tug at the back of your eyes is already becoming a practiced routine. He doesn’t seem the least bit deterred by the casual mention of violence and you wonder if you could ever tell Joost about that night.
The thought gets flicked aside as quickly as it came.
No one can ever know what you’ve done and it’s honestly crazy to be letting him in at all. Everything you have come to accept can’t be part of your life, everything you left behind, it was to protect you- you did it to survive.
With Joost, it’s almost like those rules have gone out the window. You don’t know what about him has you wanting to be so honest. He may be unfairly hot and the only person who has never freaked out on you but where is the self preservation?
You’re probably going to have to move again.
Joost has more questions but you’re curious about him. He’s Dutch, he’s beautiful, he’s not actually a poser, he clearly has a danger kink, but who is he? Somehow, though he’s bright red again, the first thing out of his mouth is that he is not Dutch. He is from Fryslân! Joost tells you a little bit about where he grew up, when he first moved to Amsterdam, how he used to do Youtube and how he first met Tantu. You let him talk and set to work making a dent in your noodles.
Everything Joost tells you helps paint a picture, but to your curiosity, he is quick to skate over most of his past. Anything more than a handful of years ago gets more and more vague and it becomes clear there's something he’s avoiding. You don’t see why he would be holding out on you, it’s not like you haven’t been telling him all your secrets. Well, maybe not all of them. Whatever.
The Florida song tickles at the back of your mind and you don’t press it.
“I’m down to one noodle, wanna Lady and the Tramp this shit?”
Sadly, though he accepts with enthusiasm, the noodle breaks and you don’t get your arrabiata kiss. He checks his phone while you wait for the bill and curses under his breath. “What is it?” you mumble through your napkin.
“Tantu was just being polite earlier. He wanted to work on more stuff after dinner but I didn’t see the message.” You begin to wonder what that means for your evening but Joost is already smiling again as he slips the phone back into his pocket. “Oh well, Tantu always forgives me. We’ll do it later. Wanna go through the park on the way back?” Your stomach gives a little flip. “Yeah.”
The last vestiges of the sunset are long gone and the park is deathly quiet. The fog has been so thick for so long that the grass is soaked, glistening under the lamplight and stretching out on either side of the path to form dark fields of glitter.
“So, is it a date this time?” He asks innocently. You try not to trip over nothing.
You want it to be a date. It really shouldn't be, you shouldn't let people know you, but for so long it hasn’t even been an option and Joost is so much more than an option. You’ve never met anyone like him.
“Yes.”
He grabs your hand and every hair on your body stands on end. It’s an innocent touch, all things considered, but you know where this is going and finally, finally, something is happening. It’s a wonder you didn’t end up in his bed that night at the club. He so clearly wanted you, and you were just as ready to let him hit it against the wall in the alley if he’d asked. This time, you're not running.
He swings your hands as you walk, trying and failing to keep the smile off his face. Every ounce of your attention is zeroed-in on the way his big hand curls around yours, but it’s also becoming impossible not to notice the emptiness around you. The surface of the pond is mirror-smooth and the trees stand lifeless as you wander deeper into the park, like everything is holding its breath. You are utterly alone and the crunching of your shared footsteps seems to echo.
Forgetting you're an apex predator, one would almost worry about what is lurking in the shadows. It’s fun to suspend your disbelief, let the atmosphere affect you and pretend that Joost is your only hope against the creatures of the night. You grip his hand tighter and he grips back, giving a little squeeze then lacing his fingers between your own.
The path continues along the water and under a bridge. Low but wide, the street that goes over must be a main thoroughfare yet not a single car can be heard. Joost’s puffs of breath are all the more audible as you enter the void of the tunnel underneath. The shadows are deep, unnaturally so, and you can only half make out the patchwork of graffiti. The lamp at the exit seems farther than it should be and it gives you a thrill, still indulging in your supernatural fantasy. You press your side up against Joost, letting the closeness be a comfort even though you are nothing but excited.
He stops in place suddenly, catching you by the hand, and pulls you to his chest. He wraps an arm around your back and squeezes. “Why are we walking so fast?”
The light is so low but you can still make out his features, pink, golden, and perfect, looking at you bemused. “It’s spooky out here, don’t you think?” You half-whisper. “If I’m out here, who knows what else is too.” It’s said with a smile and Joost grins right back.
“Don’t worry, we’re safe if we’re together.” His eyes dart to your lips and back up before he speaks again. “Slow down for me?” In the stillness of the night, his heartbeat is deafening. His normally crystal eyes are dark, pupils dilating more and more with his climbing pulse. It’s a shame he can’t hear yours. A feeling you refuse to name pricks at your chest and you crane your neck up.
He beats you to it.
Your mouths meet and color explodes behind your lids. If his scent was powerful, the taste of him is something else entirely. Joost groans against your lips and releases your hand to wrap both arms around you, crushing you close. When he has you where he wants you, one hand comes up to cradle the back of your head and he licks at the seam of your mouth. You open for him and he licks further into you with a sigh. It’s hard to keep up. Now that Joost finally has you in his arms he is greedy and the hot wet of his mouth threatens to eat you alive.
You don’t think you would mind if it did.
Joost is forced to pull away first, his laboured breath visible in the cold. You whine at the loss and his eyes widen. Need for air forgotten again, he peddles you backwards until your back hits the wall of the tunnel and he’s on you again. Joost kisses you deep, hard, pressing you into the concrete like you’re laid flat on a bed. The kisses make their way down your neck and when your eyes open as he sucks at your collar bone, it is to see that the passage and all its vandalism register in perfect detail. You never even felt the tug but your eyes are fully shifted.
He lifts his head to capture your mouth again and you can’t mistake the infatuation in his eyes when he notices your own.
It ruins you. You could never say no to a face like that. What’s more, you don’t want to. His devotion is so apparent and this is only your first time together. If he weren't pressing you into the wall, it would have you on your knees.
You kiss back, hungry. Maybe if you swallow him whole, you can keep him forever. It’s hard to ignore how good he smells. His arousal has been simmering all day but now it’s kicked up to a thousand and every inhale sends a pang to your cunt. Your panties are toast.
The hand cushioning your head from the wall comes around to cup your cheek as Joost tries his best to drink your little noises. He has plenty of his own. Words too. Little yes’s and encouragements when he slips his knee between your thighs and you grind down.
His length is hard against your tummy, bigger than you realized when it was against your ass before.
The rush of blood just below his skin is audible to your sensitive ears- so quick, so loud, with the frantic pace of his heart. The hot length of his throat is flush with it, and the most mouth-watering aroma curls lazily from the neck of his hoodie.
Your core throbs. Your teeth ache.
Joost’s fingers start to curl under the edge of your jacket, fumbling to get under the shirt. The cool air and his cold hands make you moan and he whimpers in response, grabbing you hard by both hips and grinding into you firmly. It turns your legs to jelly, and you have to break the kiss to catch your breath against his chest.
Too overcome to focus on a rhythm, he thrusts mindlessly every couple beats as his lips make their way slowly down your temple. Even through all the clothing, the hot length of him is like a brand over your navel. He licks over your ear and all the air you managed to recover whooshes right out again. Joost’s shameless enthusiasm, his desperation, has your head spinning. His scent has enveloped you completely- arousal so thick you can almost taste it with his throat so close to your face. You want to taste it. He nibbles at your earlobe tenderly and your stomach swoops.
Spit pools on your tongue and it’s dawning on you that there might be a problem.
His lips start to travel down your neck a second time. Open-mouthed kisses and tiny nips followed by the flat of his tongue laving over each mark, soothing each time it makes you grip him tighter. Then, without warning, his mouth drops to that same spot on your shoulder- the same as in the club, and he bites down.
The thrill it sends through you ricochets down to your pussy, clenching around nothing, and back up again in a split second. Your fangs drop.
You lunge forward before you can think.
You can’t think, actually. Joost is on you, around you, and he might as well be in you with the way he fills up every corner of your awareness making higher functions impossible. He jerks back, surprised at the speed of the movement, and your teeth sink into three layers of hoodie.
It tastes like the pasta sauce he dripped on himself at dinner.
Your gut swoops in an entirely different way as your head clears all too suddenly and you unlock your jaw and shove him off you, hand slapping over your mouth. Joost staggers back a few steps at the force, nearly falling on his ass. He looks petulant, big eyes pleading like you’ve just taken away his favorite toy.
“What's wrong?” He huffs, already closing the distance again. You lurch away to maintain the space and confusion twists his brow. Joost tugs at the neck of his hoodie, tucking his chin to look at it and finding two jagged holes and a patch of dampness. His brow goes slack in understanding. “Oh, it’s okay, come here.” He reaches for you again. “You know I want you to bite me right?”
Your eyes widen and you dodge his grabby hands. You don’t dare remove your own hand from your mouth to speak. Really, you should have known. In retrospect, it was obvious. Should have known from the moment he bit you the first time in the club that he really did want you to bite him back. Fucking vampire kink fucking weirdo. Not that you’re entirely complaining.
Finally Joost stops reaching for you, pouting, and waits. You don’t trust yourself to speak for several minutes. It would be better if you left, ran away again in case the sanity doesn’t hold. You don’t want to do that to him again though, not a third time. You have to get a grip.
Slowly, you remove your hand and he perks up. “Sorry, about your hoodie. I- , We- , We shouldn’t do that. You won’t like it.”
“What, why not? I think I would.”
“Believe me, it hurts.”
His trademark blush and grin combo is firmly back in place. “I don't care, it’s kind of hot.”
You pause, unsure how to counter without laying out the details of how you don’t want to commit murder a second time. “It’s like with the eyes. With you, I can’t really help what I’m doing, can’t control myself. It would probably be rough. I might hurt you. I mean, it always hurts but I think I might hurt you for real.”
He looks contemplative, though you notice the blush hasn’t diminished. “Is it really that different with me?”
“Yeah. I don’t know why. I think- , I think I just need to get used to you. I probably can’t ever bite you, but if we’re gonna get cozy without me flipping my shit, then I think we might need an adjustment period.” You immediately realize what you said. “That is, uh, if you want to keep doing this sometimes.”
He doesn’t leave you hanging. “I do! You said this is a date, I want more dates.” His earnest expression becomes immediately suggestive. “If I have to wait to show you my stuff, that's okay. Can’t help it if I drive you crazy.”
Oh, he’s a bastard. “Whatever you say, spaghetti shirt. You’re gonna need to stop biting me too, I can’t be held responsible for what that makes me want to do to you.”
“Noted.” He chokes through a laugh.
“Alright, let's go back. I’m fucking cold.”
The second Joost had kissed you, all fantasies of supernatural ambiance were forgotten. Now that you're separated again, they are at the front of your mind once more. The shadows look like more than shadows and the density of the fog feels designed to conceal something lurking beyond. You feel the need to protect Joost, probably from yourself, but it’s nicer to imagine something else so you let the fantasy reform. The twinge of unease from the misty morning on your balcony is back and you do your best to stomp it out. You just need to take it slow. You can still do this if you take it slow and let yourself get used to him.
The walk is mostly quiet. Joost seems thoughtful and you try not to hold his hand too hard. When you make it back to the studio, you unlock your bike and try not to imagine the night swallowing him when you go your separate ways. When you turn back to him, Joost swoops in again for another kiss. It’s only a peck, he’s giving you the space you asked for, but then his hand grabs your own and brings it to his mouth. It seems like he's going to kiss that too, goofy as he is, but quick as blinking he gives your knuckle a nip and winks before doing a one-eighty and starting down the street.
You clutch your hand to your chest like you’ve been burned. He bit you! Again! He keeps biting you and now he's walking calmly with his back turned like it doesn’t make you want to chase him down and pin him. Like it doesn't make you want to take him there on the pavement and tear into him. “See you later!” He waves before disappearing around the corner. It’s hard to decide whether to blush or go pale.
You wonder, not for the last time, what the fuck you are doing.
There's no chance to stew too long because the very next day Joost is already taking up all your attention. He hits you up at ten. You're naked in front of the mirror brushing your teeth when he calls.
“Hey, what are you doing?” So chipper.
You spit into the sink. “Just work, was gonna go to a cafe.”
“Can I come with?” He is possibly the most distracting person in the world for you, if last night was any indication, but he sounds so eager you can’t find it in you to say no.
Joost meets you at your usual cafe down the street. A place you often find yourself working these days when your cozy apartment, though a good refuge from the persistent rain, becomes just a little too monotonous. There is another moment of acclimation when you meet him out front, but you manage to keep your eyes from changing. You lean into him, forehead against his chest to keep anyone from seeing in case you can’t keep a handle on it while he smooths a hand down your back, heart noticeably fast and scent stirring at the closeness. Anyone bothering to pay attention would think you were any normal couple embracing. After a few minutes when nothing happens, you straighten. Joost almost looks disappointed.
He swoops in rather dramatically to pay when you order at the counter and you let him, bemused. He wants to know whether you’ve ever tried poffertjes and when the food arrives he feeds you one off his plate, looking only vaguely horny when you wrap your lips around it. Joost asks you how you like the Netherlands and you find yourself telling him how long you really haven't been here. Before you know it, you're telling him all the places you've lived over the past few years, distracted from your work already. He has so many questions and he drinks up your stories eagerly, relays some of his own about some of the same places. He really does travel a lot.
You get so caught up that you retrace your journey all the way back to your home country. When you pause, he notices you’ve exhausted your list. “That’s where you're from, right? You have the accent.”
You hesitate, but telling him where you're from won’t actually bring him any closer to knowing what you did. “Yeah, that’s home.”
“Why did you leave? Why so many places?”
Fuck.
“Is it because-” he pokes at his canines with the tips of his index fingers “vampire?” Relief washes over you. It’s the truth technically, more than he will ever know, and you don't really have to explain it. He’s filling in the gaps himself. “Yeah, got too hard to hide.”
When you part after many hours and little work, he gives you the tiniest, softest kiss, takes your hand, and brushes his mouth over the same knuckle before gently biting it once more.
The cafe becomes a pattern for the two of you, him showing up more often than you would have thought he had time for. He’s better at letting you work after that first day. Often brings his own things to work on, mostly concert visuals, and becomes deeply immersed in editing and drawing when he isn’t serving as your unwitting tech-support.
When you’re not working, he takes up your time all the same. He texts you constantly. A stupid picture of his dog, of Tantu, an edgy meme. You're not used to it. It's been years since anyone has texted you at all. Even your boss just emails. Most often, the texting is to suss out where you are and if you're busy. He seems determined to take you to what you're realizing is every place he usually spends his free time. His favorite restaurants, his favorite parks, his favorite bars. He's so bright, so gleeful in almost everything that he does. Joost shows you things just to see if you like them too.
One night he shows up at your door, six-pack in hand.
“Hi! …How do you know where I live?”
He stares back with eyes that look huge through the black frames slid low on his nose. “You sent me a pin? I thought you wanted me to meet you.”
A glance at your phone reveals the sent pin and several highly enthusiastic reply texts that you very much had not noticed. You meant to send him the link to the place you were meeting tomorrow. Fuck your life.
“Uh, I didn’t mean to. Hope I didn't make you drop anything to come here.”
“No, you didn't! What are you up to? Wanna hang out?” Joost almost talks like a kid. The bottles clink at the way he wiggles while he speaks and it only adds to the effect despite the way he towers over you like you're the child. That night you proceed to have the first of many regular movie marathons with Joost. Keeping your hands to yourself is hard with him on your couch all cozy and warm, oozing pheromones, but he mostly behaves and so do you.
Another night, he takes you to his favorite skate park where you don't do any skating. You just sit and watch everyone else and eat ice cream that melts way too fast while he tells you about someone named Nathan.
Another night after that he brings you to his place where you play COD until he gives up trying to teach you and you talk until the sun comes up. It's more difficult being in Joost’s flat, everything smells like him and it was fucking mean of him to wear grey sweatpants the first time you come over. Still, he gives you space, not pushing like you can tell he wants to.
It’s kind of sweet actually. This stranger you met at the club, grinded on at the club, trying to work with you and be delicate like being delicate matters. It all felt like some kind of weird extended hook-up at first, but the longer this goes on the more it feels like Joost wants to know you.
No one has been allowed to know you in a long time.
You want to know him too- know more of his favourite places, his favorite movies, his favourite foods. Know what it is he isn't saying every time you talk about the past.
It’s beginning to feel like you will. Like this thing you have going isn't so crazy.
Seeing Joost starts to fill your days, replacing the sporadic trips to the club that filled the human-shaped hole in your chest with a companionship that made you forget there ever was a hole. You didn’t realize how much of your time was so empty before.
Of course he isn’t always around. Often disappears for days on end to the studio and long weekends away for concerts. But, he always comes looking for you when he’s done and no matter what else you get up to together, you always find yourselves back at the cafe. You’ve carved out your own territory there, a table where no one else ever seems to sit as if they know it's meant for the two of you.
One morning you sit at it, waiting for Joost. He strolls in later than usual, humming what sounds a lot like Numa Numa as he approaches with an extra spring in his step. He plops down unceremoniously in his usual seat across from you, fishes around in one cavernous pocket, and deposits a steel ball-gag in front of your croissant and coffee with a clatter.
“Hey, good morning. What’s this?”
He rubs his hands together like some kind of cartoon villain. “Good morning! I’m so glad you asked! I was just thinking since, y’know, sharp teeth problem, you could wear this and then we could do whatever we want!” His eyebrows wiggle furiously. “Well, I guess we wouldn’t be able to kiss, but you know what I mean.”
“Uhhhhh.”
“I know you said you just need to get used to me but this way you don’t have to!” His giggly, somewhat bashful self of the first few weeks knowing him has melted away to leave a Joost with honestly very little shame. It was gradual, and he was never too reserved to begin with, but these days he is incorrigible. You must be rubbing off on him.
Sadly, this one isn’t up your alley.
“I’m gonna be real, that’s not happening. Have you ever tried one of these? It’s a good idea but I can’t handle that much drool.”
“Come on, please? I won’t laugh at you I swear. And honestly-” He leans in close. “I needed to eat you out like yesterday. Can we try it?”
As much as you don’t care that everyone in the cafe has been looking at you since the second Joost whipped out a ball gag, you also don’t want to get kicked out. This is your favorite spot. “No, put that away!”
Joost takes it in stride but as the days pass, you can tell he’s far from done with his scheming. At the movies and the automat and everywhere else he takes you, at his apartment and at yours where you’ve both started expecting each other, he is always nudging. Tempting you more and more while still following the rules. Little flirtations and kisses and those goddamn tiny little bites you never quite get used to. The tender press of his canines around your knuckle make your stomach swoop without fail. You're sure Joost knows what he’s doing, what with the way he smiles that same little smile every time.
Bastard.
It’s not like you can blame him for any of it. You want him too.
One day though, a few weeks before Christmas, Joost is forced to pause his efforts. It’s a cold and gray afternoon, and though there’s no snow on the ground, every shop and every home has wreaths and candles on doors and in windows. It’s impossible not to notice what time of year it is and when Joost comes knocking, all bundled and breathless and confused why you aren’t at the cafe, he can tell immediately that something is wrong.
It’s a bad day, really no other way to put it. It’s your little sister’s birthday and for the third time ever, you won’t be there.
She was a brat really, but you loved her and she is one of the few things that always makes you think of home. That wasn’t true at first, when you spent the first few months missing all your friends and family something awful. But after you literally killed and ate someone, the fear of discovery and the fear of hurting them drove your travels farther and farther until before long, you felt like you were doing the right thing.
Besides, the world was too big and too detailed to miss out on. Too vibrant in all of your new senses to spend your time sulking over what could never be. Most days now, home was just a passing thought. Still, your sister never fully left your mind, and on this one day every year you have been gone, you can never help but let your mind drift over what is and what could have been.
Joost can tell the second you open the door. You let him in without fuss, but when you answer his probing questions with little more than noncommittal grunts and squeeze him far too tight when he goes in for a hug, he starts to adjust his demeanor. He follows you into the kitchen and you shut your laptop, still open with the work you had been using for distraction.
“So, you don’t usually pass up the gift of my presence, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m good. I just have a lot going on with work. Sorry I forgot to tell you I wasn’t gonna be there.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
A pause.
“I've seen you stressed about work. Usually you’re asking me to help you find a file or proofread an email…”
“Yeah, okay, yeah. I’m a little distracted.”
“With what?”
“With-” you allow yourself to lean against him. He’s saddled up behind you as you finally come to a stop in the middle of the kitchen. His arms come around your waist and you let out a bone-rattling sigh. There’s few places you’d rather be than in his arms, but the knowledge that even that is something you're still trying to allow yourself to have makes it hard for it to feel like a comfort right now.
“-with things at home. There are things I left behind that I can’t go back to.”
“You wish you could?”
“Sometimes.”
“You miss someone?”
“Yeah.”
Fuck it. There’s so much you’ve already told him. Why not this.
“My sister.”
His grip relaxes slightly. You didn’t realize it had become tense. “Oh. I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“Yeah.”
“I have a sister too. I don’t see her very often but it’s not because I can’t or anything. I don’t know what it would be like to not have the option.”
“Yeah.” You sniff. It seems to be the only thing you can say.
He squeezes you tight again when he hears it. “Wanna…talk about it?”
“No, not right now. I’ve been thinking about it all day and there’s nothing I can do so I might as well stop.”
“Okay. Wanna do something with me? Wanna watch a movie?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, how about Spiderman?”
He knows you so well by now.
Joost coaxes you back to his apartment. Away from your work and to what you have to admit after many movie marathons is a home cinema setup superior to your own. The perfection of the couch-pillow-foot rest-cup holder placement leaves you unable to turn down the journey when the ride is only ten minutes.
Tonight, you watch Far From Home. Though you always cycle through the Spiderman movies, it’s the one you saw with your friends the night you turned, and somehow it's the one you always come back to. You’ve never told Joost you prefer it but he’s noticed anyway, and tonight he pulls it out before you can ask. By the time Peter Parker gets knocked out by Mysterio and accidentally arrives in the Netherlands via train, you're in Joost’s lap, clinging on with arms slung around his neck and face pressed into his chest, barely watching. Being sad does wonders for not being riled by his closeness.
He holds you right back, hands at your waist, occasionally pressing light kisses to your hair as he comments on the inaccuracies of the movie’s Dutch portrayal.
“Y’know we do love soccer but honestly, no one is so super happy like this, especially not if you’re stuck in jail.”
You just hold him tighter. It’s been hours now in Joost’s presence and finally, you feel yourself unwinding. Just like always, Joost is the best distraction you’ve ever encountered. Your teeth itch of course, what with your face so close to his throat, but you ignore it so you can savor the feeling of him wrapped around you. Joost is sweeter than you could have ever asked for. So often wants to know about your problems and offers up his time to solve them. Provides his presence and his affection when he can’t.
Not that you have many problems. Your tech issues present the majority.
Still, here and now, he's trying to fix everything just like he always does and it is with a deep shudder from yourself that he starts to rub your shoulders. His hands smooth down your back to your hips and back up again, reminiscent of the moments in front of cafes and shops where you always have your moment of initial acclimation. Now, there is no pressure to the moment, no rush to get yourself under control. All you have to do is relax further into his hold and let his big hot hands melt sensation into your flesh.
A sort of tingle accompanies his hands wherever they go. Up and down and up again. They knead at the muscles of your lower back before working their way up either side of your spine with gentle compressions of his knuckles. One big palm cups the back of your neck when his ministrations make it to the top and he takes a moment to inhale deeply from your hair. The motions repeat over and over, up and down and back again. You would be letting him know exactly how much his efforts are appreciated if those efforts weren’t completely melting your mind.
Lingering in that liminal goo-brain space for what feels like hours, it occurs to you that every pass over your hips is gradually getting lower. Every time he works his way down your spine, his thick fingers splay just a little further over the swell of your ass. You let him do it, fully on board with the feelings it’s inspiring in your core and too strung-out to think of why there might be any reason not to indulge.
Before long, his hands are fully cupping your ass with every pass. Each time he spends a moment squeezing lightly before continuing the cycle. After a couple more circuits, he finally breaks the pattern and stops to hold each cheek in one huge hand, pulling back from your hair to make eye contact, asking silent permission. You hold his gaze, unable to think further than the lazy, slow, creeping want he inspires. He made you so comfortable, so pliant and soft, why would you ever do anything other than what he wants? You slump forward to mouth at his jaw, forgetting yourself, and his heart stutters. His hands slide lower to the back of each thigh and his fingertips brush over your slit. It’s the first time he’s ever done anything quite so direct since that moment under the bridge and it makes you moan so loud that he pulls back once more to get a read on your face.
“Is this okay?”
“Mmm, yeah.” It’s hard to remember why such a question makes sense. His fingertips, so close to where you need them, make higher processes a herculean effort. Still, your brain is the stuff of legends, and you pull it together to consider what he means.
“Fuck, uhhnh, gimme a sec.”
His hands don’t leave their precarious position, but make no further move. In the meantime, his mouth fills in the gap. ‘You know I bought something else. After the ball gag I mean. I was thinking handcuffs kinda do the same thing but, y’know, less drool.” He smiles sheepishly. “We don’t have to use them, I just wanted to tell you. It could keep your mouth away from me if I stayed down here.” he squeezes with both hands for emphasis.
“Oh.” With the strong departure from the sadness that had been consuming you and the reminder of all Joost represents, you are quickly coming back to awareness. Your gums ache in a way they haven’t for quite a while now, the tug behind your eyes making a return. “I- how would that work?”
“If I cuff you to the headboard and stay down here-”
Another squeeze for demonstrative purposes,
“-then your teeth will never come near me. We can’t kiss, after a point, but we can do other stuff. There are a lot of things I want to do to you.”
“Okay, I’m with you, but you would need like a steel headboard or something. I’ve seen the IKEA particle board slats you have going on.”
“I may have- uh, I may have bought that too.”
Oh he is a freak.
Your smile is all Joost needs to scramble to shut off the movie and scoop you up like it’s nothing, mouth on yours like a man starved. You cling to his shoulders as he slowly walks you back through the apartment. It’s a miracle you make it when he can’t be bothered to look where he’s going.
Somehow, he neither bangs your elbow nor your knee on a door frame and all of a sudden the world shifts as you are deposited onto his bed with a bounce. True to his word, it’s a new bed. Same dark blue comforter and faded Minecraft bed sheets but a new frame with solid metal bars. He lets you look while he fiddles with something on the bookshelf before turning back to you with a ‘clink’.
The handcuffs, equally metal and solid, glint in the low light of his bedroom. You’ve never been into bondage per se, but just about anything Joost wants, you find yourself wanting too. His enthusiasm never gets old. Even if the bed and the cuffs are just a means to an end, Joost picked them out for you, he picked them out and bought them because after all this time dancing around each other, he still wants to fuck you so badly.
The tug behind your eyes is irresistible like never before. This time, you don’t fight it.
Joost takes you in, eyes wide and wanton, fixed on your own dark pools. He gives a shuddering sigh and unclicks the cuffs. “Oh, liefje, let’s start with this.”
The simple endearment used for the first time short-circuits any intelligent response. There are no words. You scoot up the bed, overcome by the word still bouncing around your skull and the hunger evident in his scent. Laying back slowly, you lift your arms above your head as he crawls over you.
Something about the position feels a little strange, but the thought leaves as quickly as it came when you’re distracted by cold metal clicking into place. He adjusts the cuffs gently, one on each wrist with the chain hooked around a thick steel post of the headboard. A good tug proves them to be durable and Joost lets out a breath you didn’t know he had been holding.
Though the bedside lamp is dim, the blue of his eyes practically glows as he removes his glasses and lays them on the nightstand to admire what’s laid out before him.
It’s obvious all too soon that there are drawbacks to the position. You can’t lean up to kiss him, at least not much, can’t reach out to touch him and tuck a bright blond strand behind his ear or cup a cheek and trace his pouty bottom lip. You need to, if you're being honest. Need to touch him and hold him and kiss him and tell him there is no one else you would ever want to do this with. You don’t even know what that means, since there haven’t exactly been other options, but you know it’s true.
Joost watches your squirming with increasing amusement as you test the limits of your bonds. Finally, mercifully, he parts your thighs and presses flush against you to capture your mouth. Your legs wrap around him immediately, holding him the only way you can. His scent is just as potent as it was that night under the bridge and quickly becoming stronger. It’s a good thing you’re cuffed because your willpower is already softening.
As overwhelmed as you are already, your teeth haven't dropped yet and you're thankful as he all but steals the breath from you. The increasingly desperate press of your mouths is all that's keeping you from begging him to get on with it. You never thought you would be one to beg, but here with Joost above you, presence all encompassing and hips slotted into the cradle of your own like he belongs there, you think you would.
In the end you don’t have to. Joost pulls away all too suddenly and the hands braced at either side of your head come down to toy at the hem of your shirt.
“Can I?”
“Please!”
The transparent need in your demand short-circuits him for a moment. He says nothing, huge pupils unblinking for several long seconds before they snap down to fix on the stripe of skin that gets wider and wider as tattooed fingers slowly peel the shirt up your stomach. It would have been smart to get undressed first, but you’re both a bit beyond reason and you do your best to help as he drags it up above your head to tangle around your wrists. He pauses again to drink you in, more bare skin than he’s had the opportunity to see yet. So much of the past months has been little more than kisses. His hands trace their way back down, over your sternum and your belly until they reach the hem of your lounge pants.
Joost doesn’t ask this time, just meets your eyes and takes the nod you give without words. He removes them much easier than the shirt and whips them away to land somewhere to be found later. Hot palms smooth up your thighs and a single finger hooks into the elastic waistband of your panties. The whine you let out as soon as he does it sends him scrambling and they are quickly tossed away to join the pants.
Huge hands brace themselves against your inner thighs and you're made to bend your knees up to accommodate. It spreads you wide, everything on display. It’s been so long since anyone has seen you like this it’s borderline embarrassing, but the way his scent picks up and his pupils nearly eclipse their blue border makes it all worth it. He crawls forward to give you a single deep kiss.
“All good?” He breathes against your lips.
“All good.”
He shuffles back down and starts laying more kisses against your inner thighs.
You know exactly where this is going.
Joost’s overture that day in the cafe never strays too far from your mind. If you were wet before, now you’re positively dripping. It starts to run down your ass and you wonder if he will notice, see your desperation made flesh. It’s unlikely, what with the way his eyes are shut tight and his brow is slack with bliss. He’s getting exactly what he wants. Joost laves a hot stripe over the skin closest to the junction of your thigh, pauses for one maddening moment, then turns to lick into where you need him most without warning.
Your gasp is more of a shout.
He groans in response and hooks an arm around each thigh before you can squirm away, the wet, slippery friction on your clit so intense you almost try to. He starts out with deep, long licks directly over it before he goes anywhere else, straight to the punch without teasing. After what feels like far too much and nowhere near enough, he gives one long lick through your folds and shifts his focus lower. He lingers over your entrance, the flat of his tongue seals tight to the rim, textured buds undulating against the delicate skin making you writhe. He does it again and again, taking breaks to pull back and run the tip around the edge, tracing and circling before latching to it yet again with a wet ‘smack’. Normal breathing is becoming impossible and when your thighs have been tensed so long they start to shake, he dips it in.
There’s no telling what undoubtedly guttural noise you make because you are too busy wrestling with the sensation of blood blooming across your tongue and iron filling your sinuses. Every teasing nudge inside your pussy sends your fangs digging deeper into your lip.
The brief agitation from earlier has returned, but now you know what it is. There’s nothing actually wrong, it’s just so much harder to bite lying on your back. The urge you usually manage to suppress is now front and center of all thought. As always, pleasure seems inextricably tied to predation. You need to pin Joost and bite him and feel him struggle but you also need his delicious weight on top of you and his hands around you and his tongue inside you and you can’t have both. You feel insane.
Joost’s groans are heavy, the vibrations rolling through you as he lazily pumps his tongue deeper, nose grinding into your swollen clit. He settles into a pattern. Deep, languid tongue-fucking followed by licks to either sider of your bud, close but not close enough, before directly grinding the flat of his tongue into it a few times and then starting the process all over again.
The cuffs are fighting a battle of their own above you. Every time Joost switches targets the headboard gives a heavy creak. You hardly notice. It’s taking all your remaining brain power just to try not to squeeze him too hard with your thighs. Though, it might be okay since every time you do he lets out a groan, far too pleased for what is probably a legitimate threat to his skull. Blood drips down your chin now, your canines deep in your bottom lip when you hear it:
A shuffle.
A rustle.
A slight sway to the mattress.
He takes your clit between his lips and sucks hard. The bedsprings give a pathetic wheeze as your head slams back and your spine arches as a squeal rips out of you.
The rhythmic swaying picks up the pace.
When Joost finally gives you a second of reprieve to kiss at your thigh, hot heavy breaths fanning over you, the gentle swaying continues. Puzzled, you find the willpower to lift your head and shakily unlock your thighs from where they have become earmuffs. It’s hard to place it at first, the incessant tongue back on your skin and sharp iron in your mouth more than distracting, but then you notice.
Gently,
slowly,
almost tenderly,
Joost’s hips roll down into the mattress.
It might be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.
The way his brow has started to knit as he ruts instinctively, pleasure seeping up his spine as he gets off on your own. The way his hips jerk softly like he isn’t even aware, like his body is just making him do it. The way his sweats have slid down to reveal the dark material of his boxers, snug against the muscles of his ass that are working insistently.
You can’t handle it. You have to do something, anything. Your hands whip down to bury your fingers in his hair as you grind up into his mouth and lose your mind.
Your fingers in…his hair?
He flinches. Makes a pathetic noise as he withdraws his tongue. The sudden hard stop to the blissful sensation all the more highlights the bright red sheeting from his brow.
In your pleasure, the cuffs ripped like paper. Both loops are still attached but the chain, now broken, swings freely from your right wrist, bloody from where it lanced him deep across the temple.
Oh.
Fuck.
Joost has never bled in front of you before. Not a single scratch or cut, not even a hangnail.
It's like hearing colors or tasting music. Now that the source of his scent isn’t trapped under his skin, it is so much more potent than you could have ever prepared for. You could never have built a tolerance to this.
The sudden certainty of a guaranteed meal, the knowledge that your strength is superior, that you've won, it overwhelms you in an instant and the sureness of it almost leaves you calm. You're going to get what you want. There's nothing that could possibly stop you. And why should it?
The only thing that keeps you from destroying him on the spot is the look on his face.
It’s all happening within seconds. He’s still mid-recoil. His face screws up now that the pain is starting to register, blank confusion twisting to stricken agony.
It’s nothing like you imagined.
Those nights alone when you think about Joost and can’t quite control that deep, savage part of your mind, the part that's been there ever since you woke up bloody in the middle of the street all those years ago, you never imagined it like this. That inhuman part of you was sure his pain would be something beautiful. Even if the logical majority of you protested, somewhere deep down, you always expected it to be true.
Maybe it’s the added shock of the sudden blow, maybe it’s just the wrong kind of pain, but the hurt on his face is terrible. Not pleasure-pain like when you press on a bruise you accidentally gave him the day before and he can’t help the way his eyelids flutter, not like when your sharp nails dig into his back when you go in for a kiss and he picks you up and you have to hold on tight as he groans into your mouth.
Just pain.
Your heart folds in.
You’re rolling off the bed and shooting to your feet before Joost can even look at you, too busy staring at the blood on his fingers as he draws them back from his forehead, shaking. It’s physically painful to turn away. You grab your phone with enough force to rattle the night stand and make yourself walk towards the door. Every sense is cranked to eleven and every reflex and muscle fiber is dialed in. All strength and no precision as you work against your instincts. Every base impulse is screaming at you to turn back and take what is right in front of you. There’s no running away this time, just brute force resistance.
There’s so much blood.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m gonna get someone, just stay there. Stay there.” The words are choked as you use every ounce of willpower to force yourself into the hall. You don’t know if he hears you and you can’t afford to look back to check. His gasps of pain almost sound erotic now without the visual evidence of his suffering and it makes you want to turn around and devour him. When you recognize the thought, you hate yourself just a little.
You wrestle into your long winter coat and manage not to break the front door as you unlock it. Joost calls out your name just before it slams shut behind you.
Outside in the cold, damp, wind whipped darkness, there is enough of a disconnect from what’s inside that you can feel control come back online.
You want to run but you make yourself walk, thankful your coat covers your bare ass, as you prioritize sending a cryptic but detailed text to 112 and then dialing the one other person that can possibly help. Tantu answers on the third ring.
“Tantu. I need you to check on Joost. I need you to go over to his place right now and it can’t wait.”
“What? What do you mean? Did he call you?”
“No it’s- Tantu please just do it. Please. Will you check on him?”
“Yes, yeah, I will, what’s going on?”
“Do you promise?”
“Yes! I’m putting on my coat! Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Please hurry, Tantu.”
You hang up, cutting off what sounds like a curse.
He’s a good friend, you can tell. It’s a good thing you have his number. You don’t know any of Joost’s other friends. Honestly, you barely know Tantu. Joost talks about them often and with love but you’ve just never met them.
It’s mostly Joost’s efforts to try not to spook you, to ease you into knowing him without pressure. You let it slip once that you try not to make close connections for practical reasons and he let up on group invites quickly, if a little disappointed. Anything to keep you around and unwilling to gamble with being the exception.
The trill of your phone makes you slow once more.
It’s Joost.
He’s okay. Okay enough to call at least. Hopefully emergency medical or Tantu gets there soon.
You don’t answer. You can’t.
Your phone continues to buzz as he calls again.
And then again.
You wanted to see if this could work, whatever this is. It felt possible once. Felt like one day you would say yes to meeting his friends, like you would feel close enough to ask him about his past and maybe even tell him the full truth about yours, felt like one day you might finally adjust enough to be able to love him properly.
Because you do love him.
You’ve known it and denied it but you do.
You do and it didn't stop you. Such a small mistake, made so easily and unconsciously and almost the end of his life.
You love him and that’s why as you walk down the street, completely enveloped in abyssal shadow, no moon in sight, you know that when you get home you’re going to pack your things.
“So, what you’re sayin’ is, all we ‘ave to do, is keep the cunt from nuclear energy? Well that sounds easy peasy, doesn’t it?” Butcher grins smugly while his eyes flicker from the screen back to M.M. He sighs and runs a frustrated hand down his face. “Except that she’s after Soldier Boy as we speak. And he’s a fuckin’ a-bomb on two legs. Who the hell knows what happens when those two clash?”
You’re an A-class supe. A Russian high value asset. And you’re anything but a hero.
May I introduce? Your identity - or what's left of it:
Project “Ground Zero” - 1981
Codename: Ashfall
Civil Name: 🆈🅽 🆈🅻🅽
Origins: ███████
Sex: Female
Height: ███cm
Hair color: Varies | natural █████
Eye color: █████ | (powers activated) turquoise-green glow
Age: 80+ y.o. | appears early 30s
Connection to Tgt.: CLASSIFIED (See File of Jan.24,1986)
Supe class: A+ (Do not engage! Inform a superior with access to the asset’s A.W.)
Supe powers: CLASSIFIED
Activation Words: CLASSIFIED
Mission Priority: Retreat Experiment ███████ ███
“I have long forgotten who I am. And I am sick of being told what I am.”
What to expect?
It’s obviously inspired by the Winter Soldier - You’ll be the Bucky to his Captain America 🫶
Potential TW: Canon violence, canon strong language, (fuckin’ diabolical, I’m warning ya), also smut at some point. I’ll try and keep it pretty similar to the show. So definitely 18+, Minors Do Not Interact!
A/N: I started watching The Boys like a week ago and I'm almost done with season 3. So naturally I am going crazy about everything right now and I NEED a damn Soldier Boy x Antihero!reader so I can have them corrupt each other in the most beautiful way. // I KNOW I'M LATE TO THE PARTY
