Even in the Darkest Nights
pairing: jason todd x reader
summary: when you get the call from dick that jason is in the hospital, your whole world stops spinning and nothing- nothing- could tear you away from his side
word count: 3.4k
warnings: mentions of injuries and surgery, hospitals, slight angst
Bruce had to have dragged Jason kicking and screaming to get him to go to the hospital. Or, more likely, his unconscious body.
In the entire time you had been together with Jason, he had never once allowed himself to go to the hospital for any injuries sustained on missions or patrol. At the very most, he had one time stayed overnight at the manor to allow Alfred to look after him, but even that had only been decided after a huge hissy fit had been thrown.
So, when you had gotten a phone call from a frantic Dick Grayson at nearly three in the morning, words like ‘hospital’, ‘bad accident’, and ‘come now’ spewing from his lips ways you couldn’t even hope to keep up with, you didn’t hesitate to hurl yourself from the warmth of your bed.
You didn’t even recognize the fact that you were in nothing but Jason’s old sweatpants and one of his hoodies that had been lying on the dresser as you threw open your apartment door, only to come face to face with Tim.
The boy had been leaning against the wall across from your place, face paler than usual as he bit on his thumbnail, a nervous habit you had noticed he more often than not picked up whenever he was overly stressed.
On the way to the hospital in one of the many cars that were in the Wayne Manor garage, you vaguely remember Tim explaining that he hadn’t been with the others during the mission that had landed your boyfriend in the hospital. He had been on research duty in the Batcave that night and had taken it upon himself to come and get you as soon as the words ‘Jason in the hospital’ had so much as been uttered over the comms.
None of them had wanted you going out alone this late at night, let alone in the state of complete disarray they had guessed you would be in.
And they had guessed right. Your hair was no doubt sticking up every which way, you wore nothing but Jason’s old clothes, and if you looked down at your feet tapping nervously against the vehicle's floor, you were 90% sure you would find you had mismatched shoes on.
The others must’ve texted Tim to let them know what room his older brother was in, because when you got to the hospital the boy simply put a hand on your back and steered you towards the elevator as calmly as possible.
Even though you were with the Tim Drake at 3:30 in the morning in Gotham’s most busy hospital, no nurses or doctors spared the pair of you a glance.
You supposed you could thank Bruce’s hush money for that. A lot of hush money, you would bet because and entire wing on the eighth floor had been cleared to give the family privacy.
Not just that, but the man that was currently being treated was still legally dead in the eyes of everyone outside of his hospital floor, so you could make the bold assumption that Bruce wanted no questions asked whatsoever. Let alone tip-off’s to whatever paparazzi seemed to always be lurking around the family at the most inconvenient of times.
As soon as the elevator doors slid open with a soft ‘ding’ you threw yourself from them and bolted towards a nearby door that currently had familiar figures huddled around it, talking amongst themselves in hushed voices.
Dick and Bruce, ceased their speaking the moment your frantic footsteps fell upon their ears, and they turned to you with tight expressions. They both wore casual clothes, having smartly rid themselves of their vigilante suits- which you could only hope for Jason’s sake they had done for the man as well before bringing him here.
“What happened?” You all but panted out, gasping for breath as your head whipped back and forth between the two, “Where’s Jason? Is he okay?” Your voice was coming out pleading- complete and utterly scared- but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care in the slightest.
From the moment Jason’s elder brother's name had flashed across your phone screen, your heart had dropped in your chest and it still had yet to be picked back up. Fear clawed at every fiber of your being embedding itself into every thought you had and breath you took.
Dick caught you with ease as you practically stumbled to a stop in front of them, a gentle grip on your forearms being used to pull you closer into a hug.
Your heart pounded frantically against your ribcage, but you allowed your shaking form to burrow itself into the man’s chest for a moment. Wrapped in the familiar, and comforting embrace, your tremors finally ceased just the tiniest bit.
In the years since you had been in a relationship with Jason Todd, you had found yourself growing close with his family. When he had finally allowed them ‘the privilege’ - as he called it- to meet you. You oftentimes joined them for monthly family dinners, having to practically drag Jason there with you, and always had what you liked to call ‘an open window policy’ for any of his family members.
Whether it be they need some company during the day, or some hot coco after a long night of patrol, they were always welcomed in your shared apartment.
Much to Jason’s pretended dismay, of course.
When you finally peeled yourself from Grayson’s hold, you stared up at him with tears in your eyes, “What happened?” You asked again, but your voice shook even as you spoke the simple two words.
You watched as the man’s blue eyes shot behind you to where his father and brother stood, silently watching the exchange, and you can only assume Bruce gave a small nod as a go-ahead before Dick sighed and looked at you gently once more.
“There was… an explosion.” He explained softly, his hand finding your shoulder to rub comfortingly, “Jason had been getting some last minute civilians out of the way, and was standing too close to the blast.” You could tell that him talking about the accident his little brother had pained him, but he still took a deep breath and shouldered on for your sake, “He’s in surgery now, but he was knocked unconscious. Multiple broken bones from what we could tell. And what we couldn’t…” He swallowed thickly, “It was bad.”
He released a shaky breath as a lone tear streaked its way down your cheek.
You whipped around to face Bruce, who watched you with a soft expression that he often didn’t let show under his tough exterior, “But he’s gonna be okay, right?” You demanded, not caring how harsh or demanding you sounded at the moment, “You’re going to make sure he’s okay.” The second part wasn’t a question.
Bruce sighed gently, reaching up to tenderly wipe the tear off your face in a rare show of soft affection, “He’s going to be okay.” He promised in that deep, sure voice of his.
And in that moment, all four of you knew that he had no way of knowing for sure. That even he, the great Batman, could not say such things with complete certainty.
Another tear slipped down your face.
—
You couldn’t tell exactly how long had passed since you and Tim wound up at the hospital during the witching hours of the morning.
All you knew was that hours had to have gone by, and that was only determined by the fact that the sun had long since risen in the sky.
Jason had come back from surgery, and according to the singular doctor that came to speak with Bruce- again, must’ve been the hush money to have a limited, yet highly capable, staff taking care of his son- he would be alright. He was currently stable.
The man had been wheeled into what you could only assume to be the largest and nicest room in all of the hospital a while ago. And while he had yet to wake up, you had yet to leave his side from the moment you eyes locked onto his unconscious form.
Currently, you sat in a chair pulled all the way to the side of Jason’s bed, hunched over as you delicately held his hand, as though even squeezing it slightly would break it. But you also couldn’t bring yourself to lose this skin-to-skin contact. It was the only thing grounding you in the moment. The only thing keeping you sane by telling you that the man you loved was in fact there, and would make a full- albeit slow- recovery.
Up until a few moments ago, the room hadn’t been completely empty other than for you two, but Bruce, Dick, and Tim had stepped out to let the rest of the family know what was going on.
Still, even when Dick told you softly what they were doing, all you could manage was a nod. You hadn’t even looked his way, too absorbed in staring at every inch of Jason’s face.
You had long since memorized the faint scars that littered every inch of his skin, had come to love them through soft traces and late night kisses pressed against them. Now, however, more scrapes adorned his features, the skin under his eyes were sunken in, and bruises blossomed on unfairly pale skin.
The only time your gaze faltered was when it drifted to his chest, which had a stark white blanket pulled up to it, and rose and fell with his steady breathing. Every once and a while you had to make sure it was still moving rhythmically.
God, you would do anything to go back in time. To the night before, when you had given him a soft kiss and a lingering hug before he slipped out of the window for patrol that night.
You should’ve held on longer. You should’ve insisted that he stay and have a movie night with you, god knows it was long overdue.
But, no. You had simply smiled up at him, had told him to be careful, and let him be on his merry way.
And now? Now he was in a hospital bed that he was far too large for, yet looked unnecessarily small in.
If you had any tears left in you, you were sure that they would’ve escaped once more. But you didn’t, your glistening face full of dried tears said all it needed to.
The hospital room door opened with a slight creak, a quiet but firm footsteps shuffled over to where you were. It was only when you felt a presence directly at your side did you tear your eyes away from Jason’s face.
“Hi, Dami.” You croaked, voice coming out scratchy as though you hadn’t used it in hours. And maybe you hadn’t, how would you know?
The young boy gave you a nod, holding out a styrofoam hospital to-go cup that had steam rising from the top of it to you.
You took it without question, and when you glanced down at it, the first small smile in a long time broke its way onto your face. It was a hot chocolate with four marshmallows and some whipped cream. The same as you always made for Damian whenever he stopped by your apartment after a particularly grueling night of patrol.
“Thank you.” You told the boy sincerely, reaching out with your free hand that you had finally slipped from Jason, and grasped his, giving it a singular squeeze as you did so.
“You have not had any form of nourishment since you’ve been here.” The youngest Wayne’s usual clipped tone was present, but was softened slightly around the edges in ways that it normally wasn’t, “I believe father and Grayson have called Pennyworth for some food and have collected you some as well.”
A small shake of your head was all you could give, “I appreciate the hot coco, Dami, but I don’t think I could stomach anything to eat right now.”
Alarmed eyes shot to you, “But… you always eat.” The boy said slowly, as if assessing the armed robbery situation.
That almost made you laugh a little, but you were able to at least smirk softly, knowing that had Jason been awake, he would’ve reached over and attempted to strangle the boy for the implications. Of course, it wasn’t what Damian meant, but your boyfriend would have attempted to defend your honor nonetheless.
“I’m too worried about Jason to eat,” You admitted lightly, having known the dark haired boy well enough by this point to know that sometimes he needed things like this explained out for him to understand, “If I eat right now, I might vomit all over this pristine room.” You added the second part teasingly, hoping to ease some of the concern from his tight features.
It didn’t appear to help, however, as the frown on Jason’s youngest brother deepened, “Well, that is unacceptable. I shall call father and tell him to get you something lighter so it will not upset your stomach.”
Your heart practically melted at the young boys worrying over you. It was sweet in ways you knew he would die before admitting, and as he stood like a guard at your side, you reached up and squeezed his hand once more, “Thank you, Dami.” You repeated, knowing that it was the only sentiment he would accept at the moment without the tips of his ears turning red.
The boy lingered a moment longer, his green eyes sweeping over you, then one last time to his elder brother, before nodding curtly and exiting the room to no doubt give Alfred and Bruce his new orders.
While sipping gingerly on the warm drink, you took Jason’s hand in yours once more and swept your thumb over the back of his rough and cracked knuckles that the doctors had cleaned up.
Slowly, you lifted your intertwined fingers and placed a delicate kiss to the back of his, “I love you.” You whispered into the space between you, “Take your time healing, Jay, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
—
“You look like shit.”
After eating your plain rice- which had been specifically requested for you personally by Damian- under the young boy's watchful eye, as well as Dick, Tim, and Bruce’s, you had once more been left alone in the hospital room.
You could only assume that another couple of hours had passed since they had gone back to the manor to shower off the horrors of the night and change into fresh clothes. And though they had tried to insist you do the same, you had not budged from your seat, you refused to leave Jason alone.
What if you weren’t there when he woke up? What if he looked for you? What if he needed you?
So, no thank you. You would stay right where you were until you could leave the hospital hand in hand with your beloved boyfriend.
Your eyes shot up to the door, where Stephanie, Cass, and Babs and just entered through.
Cass sent a sharp jab of her elbow into the blonde haired girl's side, who doubled over slightly with wide eyes, “What?” She cried dramatically, “I’m just stating the obvious!”
The corner of your lips ticked up at the girl's bluntness that you had long since not only grown used to, but grown to love.
“Thanks, Steph.” You chuckled quietly, leaning back slightly in your chair but keeping your ginger grip on your boyfriend's hand.
“We just came to check up on you and Jay.” Barbara explained, wheeling over to where you sat with a soft smile. You accepted her quick hug by wrapping one arm around her in return.
You gave the same to Stephanie, who shot you and apologetic smile before bending down at the waist to embrace you, closely followed by Cass who also dropped a quick kiss to the side of your head.
“How is he?” Gordon asked, shooting a worried look to the man who still lay unmoving and unconscious.
A hand was run down your face as you heaved a small sigh, “The doctor just came to check on him a few minutes ago and he’s still stable. Might just take a while longer for him to wake up.” You informed the girls, who hummed in acknowledgment.
“We can take over from here.” Stephanie offered, dropping sideways into a chair previously occupied by Dick with her legs kicked up over the side, “You should go home and get some rest. We’ll watch out for him.”
You had no doubt in your mind that they would do so, but you still gently shook your head, “No, I’m good where I am.” You promised them, ignoring the skeptical looks that they shit between one another.
Babs sighed long and heavy, “There’s nothing we can say to convince you otherwise?” And when you shook your head once more, she grumbled, “You’re just as stubborn as he is.”
That elicited another small smile out of you as your gaze found Jason’s steadily rising chest once more before floating up to his gentle features, “Yeah, I guess I am.”
—
Jason’s family members continued to filter in and out of the hospital room, sometimes lingering in silence, sometimes trying to convince you to go home and take care of yourself. But through it all, you remained unmoving.
Nothing in the universe could’ve gotten you to leave your boyfriend's side, and though you’re sure the others had figured that out long ago, that hadn’t deterred them from attempting to help you.
You appreciated their efforts, truly you did, but what you needed more than anything in the world was to be there for Jason. You owed him at least that much.
It wasn’t until much later when you were once more all alone that the man finally stirred, that his eyes fluttered open and effectively stopped your heart from beating all together and air from entering your lungs.
“S-sweetheart?” Jason’s voice was gravely as he attempted to squint up at you, those beautiful green orbs that you loved so much flashing with confusion.
“Oh, Jason,” You all but sobbed, falling from the edge of your chair where you and been perched to your knees beside his bed, “You’re awake.”
With a gentleness you never thought yourself capable of, you reached up and brushed his beloved white streak from the center of his forehead, tears you had thought long gone filling your eyes.
The man’s eyebrows furrowed as a tear streaked down the side of your face, and he lifted a shaky hand to gently brush it away, “W-why are you-“ He cut himself off with a series of harsh coughs, and it immediately snapped you out of whatever trance of happiness you had been transported into.
Your eyes flew wide in a panic and you stumbled to your feet, accidentally tearing your hand out of his in the process, “Wait, Jay, don’t try to talk.” You hurriedly looked around, “I need to get you some water. And, god, you’re probably hungry to. Oh, Bruce and the others will want to hear you’re awake. And, oh my god, I have to get the doctor-“
“Baby.” Jason had pushed himself into a sitting position with a slight wince, and reaching out to lock your fingers together once more, effectively cutting your ramblings off, “I’m- I’m okay, sweetheart.” When he tipped his lips upwards in a soft smile, everything inside of you short circuited, just as it always did, even after all this time together.
“Oh, Jay,” You practically fell into his arms, though you were extremely careful to keep the entirety of your bodyweight off of him even as you snuggled into his chest, “I was so worried about you. I got a call saying to come to the hospital- and I assumed the worst and I-“ Another sob wracked through your body.
Jason shushed you soothingly, one arm secured around your waist while his other hand ran gently through your hair, “I’m alright, baby, I promise I am.”
You pulled back just enough to see his face through blurry vision, “Don’t you dare ever-“ You cut yourself off with a small hiccup, “Ever do that to me again, Jason Peter Todd, you hear me?”
The dark haired man smirked up at you, “Yes, ma’am.” He promised, pressing a soft kiss to your lips that you couldn’t help but melt completely into.
