"vampires will never hurt you" what if I ask them nicely
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"vampires will never hurt you" what if I ask them nicely
im not fucking joking i just found a women want me fish fear me hat on the ground
it needs a wash bc it was on the ground and i dont trust that but im so excited. best find ive ever found
the notes on this post are SENDING me
I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account
It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"
Best News of Last Week
Hey there, it’s Erica! Welcome to another edition of Feel Good News — here’s your weekly dose of uplifting stories.
1. ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Turned Down Million-Dollar Offer to Perform in Saudi Arabia: ‘I Don’t Need to Take Any Money if It Makes Me Feel Icky’
“Weird Al” Yankovic recently disclosed that he declined an offer of at least $1 million to perform at the Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia last year, expressing discomfort with participating in the event. He emphasized his decision by stating that he wished for offers he could accept without feeling bad. The festival, which featured several prominent American comedians, faced criticism due to its ties to the regime of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman and human rights violations, including the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Several comedians, like Atsuko Okatsuka and Shane Gillis, also turned down offers due to similar ethical concerns, while others defended their participation, suggesting that comedy could promote openness in the region. The future of the Riyadh Comedy Festival remains uncertain.
2. Illinois has erased more than $2 billion in medical debt for over 1 million residents across all 102 counties, and recipients don’t apply, they simply receive a letter saying their debt is gone.
Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker announced the elimination of $2.6 billion in medical debt during a meeting with Cook County health officials. Of this, $1.5 billion was erased through a Cook County program. The initiative provides relief to over a million residents across the state, averaging $1,200 in debt relief per patient. The state’s Medical Debt Relief Program was established in July 2024, partnering with the nonprofit Undue Medical Debt, which committed $10 million to address these debts. CEO Allison Sesso explained that they buy debts from collections agencies at low prices and notify individuals of their debt relief. Cook County Health’s Erik Mikaitis emphasized that the relief could support families financially amid potential Medicaid cuts. However, a 2024 study suggested that the relief’s impact on financial wellbeing and healthcare usage was minimal and may harm the repayment of other medical bills. Despite losing federal stimulus funding, Cook County plans to continue the debt relief program.
3. Trained rats that sniff out landmines have destroyed more than 31,700 landmines, cleared an area the size of Paris, helped make Mozambique mine free, are clearing land in Cambodia, and are now helping 33,000 displaced families return home in Azerbaijan
In December 2023, APOPO celebrated a significant achievement in humanitarian mine action by clearing 100 million square meters of land since its inception. This area is comparable to the size of Paris and was previously contaminated by landmines and explosive remnants of war, threatening local communities. By the end of 2023, APOPO had removed 31,739 landmines, 90,140 explosive remnants, 36,205 small arms, and 2,731 cluster munitions, benefitting over 2 million people in affected regions. Their programs also emphasize mine risk education, victim assistance, and community support for socio-economic development. APOPO employs trained animals, such as HeroRATs and HeroDOGs, alongside traditional manual demining techniques for effective mine detection and clearance. Their operations have restored land for productive use, aiding community recovery. Key contributions include: - Angola: 8.2 million sqm cleared, supporting post-civil war recovery. - Azerbaijan: 1.3 million sqm cleared, focusing on landmine issues from the 2020 Karabakh conflict. - Cambodia: Nearly 50 million sqm cleared, contributing to safety and cultural heritage protection. - Laos: Over 22 million sqm cleared, addressing WWII-era unexploded ordnance. - Mozambique: 11.5 million sqm cleared, aiding the country’s path to becoming mine-free. - South Sudan: 1.7 million sqm cleared, enhancing safety in conflict regions. - Türkiye: 641,029 sqm cleared to improve safety along borders. APOPO remains dedicated to eliminating landmine threats and enhancing community safety, expressing gratitude to its donors and partners who support its mission.
4. Cambodia has become the first country in Asia and the Pacific to meet the UN’s toughest HIV targets, with 95% of people living with HIV now knowing their status, receiving treatment, and achieving viral suppression
The announcement jointly made by the Royal Government of Cambodia and Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS marks a major step in Cambodia’s progress towards ending AIDS as a public health threat by 2030. It also comes as 2026 marks 30 years of Joint United Nations Programme support to Cambodia’s HIV response - three decades of partnership with the Royal Government of Cambodia, communities, civil society, development partners and people living with and affected by HIV.
5. A brain injury left a Seattle man unable to remember the career he’d spent 20 years building, but he still remembered how to fix bicycles. Now he repairs broken bikes for free and gives them away to people who need them.
Rob P. spends hours restoring a broken bicycle shifter instead of replacing it for $10. He repairs bikes for free and gives them away to reduce waste and find purpose after a traumatic brain injury from a car accident in 2017. This injury led to cognitive and physical challenges, including memory loss and partial blindness. Previously a computer programmer, Rob revived his bike repair skills from youth to engage in meaningful work, slowly overcoming depression. He began fixing bikes for friends and expanded his efforts through an online group, making hundreds of repairs. Rob’s meticulous approach, supported by his wife Becky, has helped him regain a sense of identity and accomplishment, offering joy to both donors and recipients of the bikes. Experts note that fixing bicycles taps into procedural memory, enhancing recovery possibilities. Rob, focused on his abilities rather than his limitations, finds fulfillment in helping others while navigating the challenges of life after injury.
6. Hawaii just signed healthcare measures that could erase up to $91 million in medical debt for 50,000 residents, with qualified people simply getting a letter saying their debt has been canceled, while also expanding fertility preservation coverage and colorectal cancer screening access
Gov. Josh Green signed three health measures into law on July 9 aimed at expanding care and creating a state program to forgive medical debt. The package includes new insurance rules for fertility preservation, financial help for colorectal cancer screenings, and a Medical Debt Acquisition and Forgiveness Program to cancel qualifying bills. One bill (Act 218) requires insurers to cover standard fertility preservation for patients facing medically necessary treatments that could cause infertility — think chemo, radiation or certain surgeries — and applies to policies issued or renewed after Dec. 31, 2026; Hawaii will be the 22nd state with this requirement. Another (Act 219) directs the Department of Human Services to provide financial assistance for colorectal screening for people who are uninsured, underinsured or ineligible for Medicaid, and forces some plans to cover necessary follow-up colonoscopies after a positive screen with no deductibles, copays, or coinsurance; colorectal cancer is the state’s second-leading cancer killer, about 260 deaths a year. The debt bill (Act 220) sets up a program under the Office of Wellness and Resilience to partner with nonprofits to buy outstanding medical debt for a fraction of its value and cancel it, potentially wiping out as much as $91 million for up to 50,000 residents, though it’s subject to available funding. Officials say about 1 in 20 Hawaiians has medical debt on their credit report; people won’t apply — if their debt is purchased and erased they’ll just get a notice. Supporters called it a major step to prevent medical bills from wrecking families’ finances, noting estimates that a relatively small state investment could cancel huge amounts of debt.
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That’s it for last week :)
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This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)
When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.
But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.
They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.
This was maybe 6-7 years ago.
I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.
We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.
Crows are the very best birds.
insane unsolicited notification i just got that took me way too long to realise was about the michael jackson movie and not a five nights at freddy's jumpscare
benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe
concept: no astrophage au where eridians and humans still make first contact but like, properly. a whole diplomatic mission meeting in the middle of space to save travel time. stratt is humanity's greatest representation. the eridian equivalent is equally as scary and secretly soft. it's all very star trek.
but rocky and grace put the whole diplomacy thing in jeopardy by being too best buddy with it. like they're both really low level members of the mission. some engineer necessary for ship maintenance, and an obligatory molecular biologist they brought along in case they found more alien cells out in space. and these two guys like, somehow keep ending up hanging out essentially "at the back of the classroom." consistently left out of the actually important negotiations, and well, they're bored!
grace steals some laptops and starts jury-rigging his own personal translator for rocky, despite the fact that the official translation software is way quicker to learn and much more nuanced. rocky starts learning english, simplifies his eridian, and immediately starts mocking grace for needing the software. they start blabbing to each other about all the weird quirks of their respective cultures and advanced science their planets can do. the whole time they are ribbing each other about culture stuff. grace eats in front of rocky. rocky forces grace to sleep in a corridor somewhere so he can keep watch.
then stratt and the eridian leader find out and it's like
stratt: you. you've been meeting in private with a member of the eridian deligation?
grace: ... yyyes.
stratt: and you shared with them classified scientific documents?
grace: i... maybe gave him. a laptop. he's so smart! what was i supposed to do?
stratt: HIM? you've assigned male pronouns to a genderless species?
grace: he said he likes to match!
stratt: do you even know the name of this eridian?!
grace: i call him rocky :)
stratt: 😰
then on rocky's side of things it's like
eridian leader: sorry did you say you called the human after one of its digestive noises?
rocky: yeah :)
eridian leader: and. you've been telling it about how to make xenonite. one of our most vital trading resources.
rocky: yes yes, grace is very ignorant about basic chemistry 🙄
eridian leader: right. and you watch it sleep. despite the fact that all the human beings we have spoken to have described this as a cultural violation?
rocky: well he didn't like it at first but he came around!!
anyway both sides of the delegation are sweating profusely (metaphorically speaking) until they see rocky and grace in action and are like ohh! they're both freaks. we are not to blame for this. these two are just really bad at navigating cultural norms.
cut to grace curled up with rocky while he sleeps like a baby.
pain from nerve damage is so bogus btw it's like my body is in the attic flickering the lights on and off because the basement is flooded like girl what does that have to do with anything
logging onto tumblr like heyyy i'm thinking about the same character i've spent the past few weeks thinking about. no change here. just wanted to let yall know
I poked his leg and he turned into a ball about it.
Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!
My local animal shelter (BARCS) just got an influx of 369 birds from a shitass pet store, which is a truly terrifying number of parrots to have inside a building. BUT: there's a donation drive going on right now where you can vote for a pet's face to go on a beer can for their annual BARCStoberfest. Every single vote is a dollar towards animal rescue!!!
You can vote for your favorites such as Tylenol, El Eiwi Gordito, and Cheese here on their website!
YES TYLENOL THE EFFORTS PAID OFF
aparently its a hot take to want actors to have some agency -_-
aparently its a hot take to want actors to have some agency -_-
bro some people really need to learn that you dont need to reply to everything
You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.
I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.
Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.
holy shit this person in the notes