Summary: the turtles send dick pics to y/n and shit gets stupid
Warnings: sexual themes, swearing
group chat: dr banner's funky little friends
Leoโ: Y/N we need to ask you a question.
Dontron: are we SERIOUSLY doing this??
Raffff ๐ช๐ช: lol donnie gettin scared
Dontron: jfc Im not scared i just dont want to make y/n uncomfortable
Mikeeey: idk what u thinks gonna happen OBVIOUSLy shes gonna like mine more
Raffff๐ช๐ช: HA
y/n's gonna need a fuckin magnifying glass to see urs mike
Leoโ: Y/N are you there
Y/n: huh?
oh lol hey guys
are yโall comparin tiddy sizes or some shit
Bc if so I hate to say it but Raphโs got yโall beat
Mikeeey: AHAHAHA
Leoโ: ๐
Dontron: ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Raffff๐ช๐ช: omfg
STOP CALLING EM TITS.
Y/n: I just tell it like it is man
Mikeeey: u think raphs got better totties than ME??? i'm HURT
Y/n: look. Raphโs just got massive honkers.
Thereโs no point denying that he's got the mondo bazongas
(Leoโ, Mikeeey, & Dontron laughed at your message)
Dontron: ^^^
Mikeeey: dang ๐ canโt argue with the facts
Raffff๐ช๐ช: STOP calling em tits they are MUSCLE
Y/n: Raph,,, Tiddy is an Emotion,,, its a Feeling,,,
(Mikeeey emphasized your message)
Leoโ: can you elaborate on that
Y/n: No.
(Raffff๐ช๐ช, Dontron, Mikeeey, & Leoโ laughed at your message)
You donโt gotta be a lady to have tiddies case closed
Raffff๐ช๐ช: THEY ARE NOT TITS JESUS FCUK
Y/n: Idk what to tell you raph u asked and I delivered.
I diagnose you w Huge Milkers
Raffff๐ช๐ช: THATS NOT WHAT WE WERE EVEN ASKING ABOUT
Y/n: Oh lol my bad ig
Leoโ: we were hoping we could get your input on a very sensitive matter
Raffff๐ช๐ช: jfc
Mikeeey: Leo why r u phrasin it like someone DIED
Y/n: Okay someone pls just tell me what it is
Dontron: weโre comparing dicks and we want your input
Y/n: PFFT ARE YOU FOR REAL???
Dontron: I TOLD you
Leoโ: never mind, forget it. Dumb idea. sorry y/n
Y/n: HOLD UP I DIDNT SAY NO COME BACK
What do you mean you want my opinion?? Like just generally what girls like or?
Bc different girls have different tastes but I know Generally lmao
Raffff๐ช๐ช: you must be really popular w girls huh
Y/n: Alright Iโm game, how am I judging these
[Mikeeey sent an image]
[Raffff๐ช๐ช sent an image]
[Dontron sent an image]
[Leoโ sent an image]
Y/n: ASJDIAO
FUCK
HOLY SHIT
I FORGTO YOU COULD SEND THOESE
Raffff๐ช๐ช: WHAT DID YOU EXPECT??
(Dontron, Mikeeey, and Leoโ emphasized that message)
Y/n: IDK LIKE
A PWOERPOINT OR SOME SHIT
SHARK TANK BUT DICKS?? I DONT FUCKING KNOW
(Mikeeey, Raffff๐ช๐ช, and Dontron laughed at your message)
Y/n: HOLD ON
Dontron: btw from longest to shortest itโs me, raph, Leo, and mikey
Y/n: okay now i've calmed down and mentally Prepared myself to see some dick pics
Y/n: Aight aight So. first off. do not have garbage in the bg of a dick pic
Dontron: PFFT
Raffff๐ช๐ช: @ mike lmaoooo
Mikeeey: ๐๐
Y/n: raph PLEASE wash under your fingernails
or at the very least wash your HANDS
Raffff๐ช๐ช: the dirts just gonna get back under there tho
Dontron: why am i not surprised
walkin around w dick hands smh
Raffff๐ช๐ช: its a man thing you wouldnt understand
Mikeeey: wait r u supposed to wash ur hands after touching ur dick
Y/n: Yes.
Dontron: YES OH MY GOD
Mikeeey: I didn't know!!
Raffff๐ช๐ช: don't listen to em mike they don't know shit
Leoโ: guys stop interrupting let y/n finish
Raffff๐ช๐ช: simp
Dontron: simp
Mikeeey: SIMPPP
Y/n: Okay,, so,,,
Mikeeey: ๐๐
Dontron:๐๐๐
Y/n: donnie I mean this in the nicest way possible.
Y/n: why did you take a hostage picture of your dick
(Leoโ, Raffff๐ช๐ช, Mikeeey, and Dontron laughed at your message)
Mikeeey: PFFFFFT YOURE RIGHT
Leoโ: has to be held at gunpoint to cooperate
(Y/n, Raffff๐ช๐ช, and Mikeeey laughed at that message)
Dontron: how would I get around with this thing otherwise
Mikeeey: wind it up like a garden hose
(Y/n, Raffff๐ช๐ช, Leoโ, and Dontron laughed at that message)
Y/n: okay let me actually finish this
Leo. I'm just gonna say.
I can see the wall of your room in the picture
Leoโ: ?
Mikeeey: wait now i gotta look
Mikeeey: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Dontron: ???MIKU???
Raffff๐ช๐ช: OH MY GOD ๐๐๐๐๐
Dontron: HEY WAIT THATTS MY MIKU POSTER
Dontron: YOU WHORE
[Leoโ has left the chat]
[Y/n added Leoโ to 'dr banner's funky little friends']
Mikeeey: YOU CANT RUN
Dontron: homewrecker!!!
Leoโ: ..........i am ashamed
Y/n: Leo if it makes u feel better its def not the most embarrassing dick pic i've been sent lol
and i've been sent a LOT
like
hundreds lol
Leoโ: HUH?
Raffff๐ช๐ช: HUNDRESD??
Dontron: who sends you all these dick pics????
Y/n: random guys mostly
Dontron: i guess that makes sense w the internet lol
Y/n: ((also vern once lmao))
Dontron: WAIT
Raffff๐ช๐ช: WHT
Leoโ: WHAT
Dontron: ??
Mikeeey: did you ask for them????
Y/n: of course not!!
Y/n: he is SO not my type lol he's like a billion years old
it was a total accident he meant to text his gf
Leoโ: do you want me to kill him
(Raffff๐ช๐ช, Mikeeey, and Dontron emphasized that message)
Y/n: NO it's literally fine he was SUPER embarrassed
got me a new tv after apologizing like a thousand times
Raffff๐ช๐ช: vern better watch his fucking back
Raffff๐ช๐ช: drop an addy i just wanna talk
Mikeeey: unsolicited pics are worth like TEN tvs
(Raffff๐ช๐ช, Leoโ, and Dontron all emphasized that message)
Y/n: Also sent me some edible arrangements
there was also Not much to see lmao
just self-tanner lines and broken dreams
Mikeeey: gross
Y/n: ๐คท๐คท what can i say dicks are terrible to look at
Raffff๐ช๐ช: what's that supposed to mean
Y/n: usually they look weird and kinda gross? idk
I will say yall got Aesthetically Pleasing dongers
idk how mutation made your dicks look that pretty but it did a great fuckin job
Mikeeey: ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
Dontron: that's actually super nice oddly enough
Y/n: in short,,
nice cock ๐
(Raffff๐ช๐ช, Mikeeey, Dontron, & Leoโ liked your message)
I have participated in my own prompt challenge again!
Shocking, I know.
Prompt: The accidental kiss - maybe feelings finally take over. Or maybe you/TOC leans down and gives you a big ol' smooch before leaving one night. Maybe it means something, maybe it doesn't.
Is this for 2012 Raph, you ask?
Why yes! Yes, it is.
โก๏ธ Aged-up, adult turts
TW: Fluff. Raph being a stubborn ass. Pining idiots. Definitely swearwords.
Red Kisses
Ellipsus makes it easy for anyone to write together.
Please don't steal my work. Reblogging for others to enjoy is highly encouraged, though๐คฉ
Raphael in chains. I had to put him in something really tough looking, and it ended up taking me the longest , but I think he might have come out looking the best.
Full size under the cut
Makes you wanna grab those chains and tug, doesn't it?
I donโt know if anyone else has already done something like this, but here I go. As you already know, in rottmnt our protagonists are different species. And each species has a different lifespan.
Alligator snapping turtle: ~/+100 years
Red-eared slider: 20-40 years
Spiny softshell turtle: +50 years
Ornate box turtle: 30-40 years
Please keep in mind that this data is based on statistics, and some of those statistics are not very precise. It also depends a lot on whether they live in the wild or in captivity (in captivity they tend to live longer). And if we assume that our protagonists live in good conditions, even though they live in the sewers? Yes, letโs take the higher value as an approximate maximum.
Nowโฆ
We also have to consider that they are half-human mutants, and humans have a life expectancy of 70โ73 years. So I would say that our protagonists lifespan would be something like this:
Raph: 86 years
Leo: 56 years
Donnie: 61 years
Mikey: 56 years
Since they are mutants (and I would say that being mutants makes them more resilient, although it could also cause more genetic instability or something like that, but Iโm going to say it makes them more resilient), Iโm going to add 20 to each of them. And Iโm also going to add 10 to Donnie and Raph because the data I found didnโt include a maximum (all this just because I say so).
Raph: 116 years
Leo: 76 years
Donnie: 91 years
Mikey: 76 years
But Iโm not done yet! We also have to consider that using mystic powers ages you, depending on how much you use them. We can assume that Donnie is the one who uses mystic powers the least, because he combines them with his technology, so weโre only going to subtract 5 years from him. For Leo and Raph, weโll assume they use them about the same amount, so letโs subtract 10 years. And Mikeyโฆ yeah, I really think weโd have to subtract at least 20 years from him.
So their life expectancy, according to my not-at-all precise reasoning and just because I say so, would be like this:
Raph: 106 years
Leo: 66 years
Donnie: 86 years
Mikey: 56 years
Soโฆ yeah, theyโre definitely not going to die at the same time.
Everyone at magic school picks on you for your creepy skeletal minions. One day a trio of bullies has you cornered. "What now, necromancer? There's no corpses or bones around to save you." You sigh, "Actually, I'm an osteomancer. The skeletons don't have to come from corpses."
Family reunion! But they all crazy!!! Shenanigans ensue
Intro to the AU under the cut. Feel free to ask questions!
When Splinter was escaping from Draxum, he accidentally dropped the kids and ultimately managed to save only Mikey. Donnie was left with Draxum, Leo was found and given to Big Mama, and Raph ended up under The Foot's feet.
Mikey
Mikey lived a completely ordinary life with his father in the sewers. He was an energetic and happy child, loved to draw, dance, and skate.
However, over time, he began to get lonely. He didnโt really have anyone to talk to aside from Splinter.
Splinter decided to go to the Hidden City so his son could interact with other mutants. While Splinter worked construction jobs, delivery, in restaurants, and wherever else he could to earn money, Mikey socialized with other workers and entertained himself. As a teenager, he started going shopping on his own. He loved chatting with all the vendors at the market. When he was about 7 years old, he met April, who got lost in the tunnels.
In general, Mikey lived a pretty normal life, not worrying about anything โ just having fun, watching movies and training. He hung out with April around New York and Hidden City, doing silly โninjaโ things and eating pizza. Mikey did feel lonely sometimes, like he was missing something crucial, and never forgot his imaginary friends from childhood โ Red, Purple and Blue.
Raphael
Raph grew up with the Foot Clan. They found him on the street and took him in. He had an incredible talent for fighting and brutality, and they were happy to nurture that talent.
One day after a big argument with his gay uncles, Raph ran away. He loved animals, and when a stray cat came to ask for food and pets, he tried to hug it to calm down. But as a 6-year-old child capable of crushing stones with his hands he couldnโt control his strength and broke the catโs spine. He was very careful about hurting small friendly things after this.
When he was about 9 years old, a human girl named Cassandra was brought into the clan and handed over to Raph. That's how he got a troublesome younger sister whom he was in charge of.
Raph is incredibly loyal to his "family," but he treats the whole villain thing more as a fun game than anything serious.
Donatello
Don stayed in Draxum's lab and was raised directly by him. Draxum had high hopes for him, very specific ones too. There was an image of the perfect mutant warrior that Donnie was supposed to embody. However, Donnie only excelled in science and lagged behind in martial arts and mysticism.
When Donnie was about 9 years old, he met Leo at some fancy family gathering. After that, Mom and Draxum began organizing social outings for them that Donnie (and Leo) couldn't stand. However, thanks to Leo, Donnie got his hands on his first piece of human technology. Draxum hated phones and computers, but Donnie fell in love with them at first sight.
Thus began Donnie's obsession with robotics and programming, sponsored by his brother. In his teenage years, Donnie went through a rebellious phase and started constantly arguing with Draxum about technology. It all culminated in a huge fight after their 16th birthday with Leo. Donnie showed his father all of his endless inventions by fighting him and almost nuking the lab, and when Draxum rejected them again, he couldn't hold back his tears. In the end, Draxum gave in.
Now Donnie has a whole business, sponsored mostly by Leo, who in turn gets to own a lot of his genius tech. Leo also finds customers for him, since Donnie hates talking to the rich assholes.
Leonardo
Leo was brought to Big Mama, who decided to raise him as a replacement for her beloved Lou Jitsu. The first 5 years of Leo's life were completely normal. He had a nanny who raised him, fed him, and played with him. Leo never saw Big Mama up close or interacted with other people, but he was too young to care.
When Leo turned 5, Mama visited him. She showed him recordings of Lou Jitsu's fights, and Leo was inspired. Subconsciously, he realized that Mama was setting an example for him. From then on, Leo began practicing martial arts every day. Aside from training, nothing else was expected of him, so in his free time he did whatever he wanted. Mostly he watched recordings of Lou Jitsu and explored their large country house.
When Leo was about 7, he started playing chess with his master. Leo quickly understood the rules, and after just a few months of constant play, he won. Then he kept winning again and again. About a week later, Mama came to visit him. She suggested they play a game. Leo, of course, lost, but Big mama still smiled at him. She even patted him on the head! Leo would chase that feeling for the rest of his life.
When Leo was 9, Mama took him to a rich people gathering for the first time. There he met Donnie, and from then on they became brothers. At such fancy gatherings, Leo had to meet and make friends with many wealthy yokai, and especially their children.
When Leo was 12, and everyone knew about his closeness to Big Mama, he was kidnapped. Leo didnโt know if Mama would come to save him, so he escaped on his own. When Mama found him, covered in blood, something changed in her face. It was the first time she picked him up and cradled him in her arms.
When Leo (and Donnie) turned 16, Draxum gifted them mystical weapons. Donnie didnโt like it and had a huge argument with their father over it, but Leo was happy. At first, he struggled to create portals, but after several months of training, he finally succeeded. From then on, Mama began assigning him to deal with more and more important tasks.
By the age of 18, Leo had already built quite an impressive network of personal connections and earned respect within Big Mama's family, and the whole underbelly of the Hidden City. He sponsors Donnie's inventions and ensures Hueso's safety, makes deals, offers protections and all that junk. But he still sometimes dreams of having a normal life.
Since it's taking me forever to finish the story for this one, I'm releasing a sneak preview of the cover I drew for it. I've already painted this one, but won't be posting the completed art until the story's done.
He's practically vibrating he's so excited. He's dropped and let you stroke him for a bit. He's getting so riled up that he takes your clothes off a bit rough, but gingerly strokes against the damp fabric of your panties. The smell of your own arousal hits him and he groans before tugging them down your legs quickly as well.
You moan as his large finger begins to explore your sex, and hiss a sharp gasp as his thick finger enters you. He moans at how wet and fleshy and tight it all feels. He's fantasized about this for years, but it's better than he even imagined. You continue to stroke him as he fingers you with one and then two, thick digits.
Huffing, he's close now, but he needs to be inside you. With a quick ask and moan of permission, he's taken himself in his own hand, pressing at your entrance. He's flared out completely, though, so excited, so stimulated. He never thought he'd ever get to do this, let alone with you. He presses at your entrance, a frustrated whimper comes from his throat. He's trying not to hurt you, but he wants to be inside so badly.
The exotic feel of his wet, flared head pressing and rubbing against your wet sex makes you moan and squirm beneath him. You're huffing and biting your lower lip, gripping fistfuls of the bedding. You try to be still and brave for him, but it's so much.
The erotic sights, sounds, feelings, and smells are too much. Donatello can't stop himself and he comes loudly, pressed at your entrance but still outside. Ropes of cum gush and mess your thighs, sex, and a few even get up onto your belly.
His mind blanks for a few seconds as he pants above you, throbbing cock still in his hand. When he comes back online, he realizes what he's done. It's embarrassing, and he begins to apologize, but stops at the sight of you panting, face flushed, his mess painting your skin. It's straight out of one of his fantasies and he can't help but groan.
