-enter witty comment here-

Welcome to my brand new non-unique in any way tumblr.

[cannibalings]

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

[cellarspirit]

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

"omg baby i'm so wet"

i know

[dogpuppy]

[sistertaxon]

One solution to the male loneliness epidemic could be mandatory feminization

[sistertaxon]

Another solution could be bombing the suburbs and replacing them with serene pine forests but I'm not a politician I'm just an everyday citizen with commonsense ideas

[atlantis-is-burning]

Or men could just stop being whiny bitches about it

[sistertaxon]

my two suggestions seem more likely to happen in our lifetime

[sympolite]

nothing tumblr could post on r/ambien will ever be as funny as this:

[cryptotheism]

Is that an "occult" word or just... Greek

you know every word is from a language right

[cryptotheism]

is spaghetti a "culinary" word or just...italian

[phaedrathallassa]

No, no. Some words are just made up. Like laser. Someone just made that up and it’s a word now.

[cryptotheism]

As opposed to every other word which is what, mined from the earth?

[smbc-comics]

Check out the bonus panel on the site!

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print!

[leolaroot]

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

[ivanoyva]

What. What. What. What.

[leolaroot]

im gonna pop some.tag

[tasty-tiktoks]

[rhodonata]

[bogleech]

This was in another goodwill bin and I'm gonna put the back cover under a cut just so you can experience the same sensation of flipping it over to see this:

[bane-of-technology]

[doubleca5t]

This is what they took from Tucker Carlson

[imperfectlibrarian]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

[imperfectlibrarian]

This post is now about a far-right politician and one of the best moments of Brazilian live TV:

[askfordoodles]

appreciating the added context

[amethystsoda]

[deathtokillian]

10/10 dad joke

[original-character-chaos]

I'll take "sentences you would only hear on tumblr" for $200, Alex.

[depsidase]

[ladymirdan]

[fairygoulish]

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved

[jewishpangolin]

[ladytengen]

[buddygrouse]

My Boss the Demiurge