[10987654321-archive]

love is stored in the cow!

[charlesoberonn]

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

[charlesoberonn]

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

[aphony-cree]

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

[obaewankenope]

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn’t drown. Then they’d have a sack that’s invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

[adspexi]

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

[kibibarel]

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

[increasedenthalpy-deactivated20]

bro why would you wish me a happy hondadays when you know my family celebrates the toyota sales event

[01010101010101010111-deactivate]

Someone who doesn’t watch baseball please explain this picture

[pornqvist]

Simple. It’s naptime.

[imploder]

The actual answer is just as funny:

Bees.

[kwusen]

tag urself fantasy weapons

bow: considerate, healing personality, gentle voice, attentive, open fields watching the clouds, constantly talking about love, thought to be lazy at times, always in their thoughts

sword: protector, adventurous, late nights looking at the stars, the warmth of a sunset, usually late but always with reason, amiable, the gayest one, overly idealistic 

dagger: frank but fair, the first smell of rain after a hot day, sleeping in, cold drinks, sensible, doesnt share much about themselves, cares deeply, needs caffeine  

axe: brave, persistent but stubborn, rather use action than words, loud and boisterous, unmannerly but always apologizes, kind hearted, really likes dogs, the sensation of finally lying down in bed after a hard day

lance: cautious, practical, dumbass passing, overly defensive at times, prefers sweets to savory, the first to offer advice, a safe person to be around, probably bi

staff: intuitive and careful, writing poems, mid day tea, not the most athletic, sarcastic and witty, over working, lack of sleep, loyalty, probably really into frogs tbh

[amisdala-archive-deactivated202]

your last 12 used emojis will tell you how 2020 is going to be for you

[dankmemeuniversity]

[adhdalistair]

every anti-milk post on this website only fuels my milk-drinking ways and makes me stronger. im drinking milk right now

[valtsv]

oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map

[marisatomay]

every cover of wham!’s last christmas is infuriating because it lacks the special sauce that makes the original so fucking good

[marisatomay]

gay yearning

[tlirsgender]

Do you think kids during the industrial revolution had that same weird millennial/gen z experience of having technology change so much while they were growing up

[tlirsgender]

A middle aged man in the 1890s: *condescendingly explaining what a candle is*

A 13 year old: ok gov'ner

[knightlyhoods-deactivated202404]

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

[quaadude]

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

[70slesbian]

we need to stop doing litterary analysis....... like maybe kafka just litteraly turned into an insect who are we to tell him that he didnt

[hashtagloveloses]

a friend of mine once said “the bb in BB-8 stands for Bad Bitch” and I think about that every day

[trainthief]

me, circa early 1800s, paying a stable boy a few coppers to ride overnight to deliver you an urgent letter with a thick wax seal that after you struggle to break it just says “bitch!” in tiny little writing 

[peristeronicsuperhero-deactivat]

no no no, you don’t understand the true level of spiteful here. The sender of a letter didn’t pay for the post in 1800. The receiver did. You just made your enemy pay for the privilege of being insulted.

[ladyshinga]

I’m starting to see why messengers were gettin’ shot

[spaceprincesses]

hey so @disasteronmain tagged me to do this picrew so here it is!!

I tag @nightlight-glimmer @cozyblu @catsnip @hheroes @turtleemojis @centrifuck & @artsy-hijabi

[boope]

YOURS IS SOOPER CUTE! thanks 4 the tag!

tagz: @specterspecs, @rat-tornado and also any of my mutuals!

[rat-tornado]

Thanks for the tag!! I know I don't really talk to you guys but @mutuals it would be really rad if you did this!!! Im excited to see yours!