Oh Darling I Love You So @ravenclaw-because-im-clever - Tumblr Blog

My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.

colemckenzies

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

ggiornojo

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

colemckenzies

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

animatedamerican

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

nentuaby

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

animatedamerican

… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

thepioden

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

derinthescarletpescatarian

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

rooksandravens

Is it a glitch or a feature?

cranberrybogmummy

Feature

everythingisproblematicin

Reblog if you're bisexual, or if you support bisexuals, or if you want Queen Elizabeth II to outlive Donald Trump

animalbody

depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

gay-jesus-probably

families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

kremeroyale

Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

nullannddvooiid

Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

exjwthings

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

atheistjw

Therapist in media: serious face the whole time

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

skirris

therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now

mmmm-gross

Actual things my therapist has told me:

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

disgustipate

scarletwitch

#throwback to when harry thought draco was the heir of slytherin

unapolpgeticalfeminist

omg I’m doing research for one of projects for college, and apparently, girls learn better when they’re in an all girls class, but boys learn even worse when they’re in an all boys class, because all the negative things become even stronger of there are no girls to act as “buffer”

get rid of the boys and let girl learn in peace, i couldn’t care less about them

cecaeliawitch

It’s not our job to be a “buffer”

radfemarchive-deactivated202304

Separate boys from girls then, they don’t have to be acting like mothers at age 12, if boys ruin the education of others boys, um, idk, fix their behavior maybe?

shopcatsca

I work at uni. My program is very competitive. Like you need a 92% or more to get in. We get 10x the applications than we can accept. So. This means our program is 95% female. Simply because girls do better in highschool than boys. Its literally that simple. However. This is a HUGE deal in the administration! Because OMG all those poor boys with less than a 92% can’t get into our program and woe is me, those poor poor boys. Every year we meet to talk about ways to “rectify” this “problem”. One year they’re going to stop inviting me to these meetings. Because I always ask questions like “how do we get boys into the program with lower GPAs without denying girls with higher GPAs? And how is giving boys preferential treatment not sexist?” Keep going good ladies, I’m saving your seat!

radfemarchive-deactivated202304

This type of thing always happens when women are dominating something, protocols are changed to accommodate and benefit men, and if this strategy isn’t successful the field is devalued.

Keep the good work!

benyw

The amount of times I heard my grandfather talk about the ‘feminization’ of schools because he wanted to blame the system for boys under performing (or, more accurately: girls out performing the boys) instead of, ya know, boys’ entitled attitudes and overall piss poor behavior when at school.

emeritusprofessorofnothing

When women fail at something: there must be something wrong with women When women succeed at something: there must be something wrong with the system

cephalopodvictorious

I think I’ve talked about it before on other posts, but I once had an anthropology class that, completely unintentionally, was all women and one man, and he dropped the course after two weeks. The other section of the same anthropology class, taught by the same professor, was mixed with men and women. So, since it was anthropology, she asked if it was cool if she took notes. She said right away that the all female class had a wildly different vibe, that we spoke and acted differently and had different social expectations of her and the rest of the class, and that we let students complete their thoughts before disagreeing, while the mixed class was highly traditional and almost entirely male dominated because every time a woman spoke, a man jumped in halfway through to “correct” her by saying the same thing. Its a very small sample size, but I think about this a lot

annonamouse

They have found the same tends to be true for group therapy situations regarding sobriety. All woman groups do really well, all man groups do poorly. Men do better when the group is mixed, women do worse in a mixed group.

There has been a call to action to examine which ratio of men to women give the optimal results for both.

georgweasley

teamcoco

WATCH: Dave Franco Cried During The Making Of “The LEGO Ninjago Movie”

bellaxiao

These are brilliant

pelicanhypeman

No lies detected dot gif

wearyewe

See also: Washington D.C.

nitro-nova-deactivated20180206

Man yells, “Make America Great Again!” Before shooting 6 people dead.

Man wearing, “Make America Great Again” hat murders 2 strangers for no reason.

A Trump supporter murders 2 police officers because they told him he couldn’t wave a Confederate flag at a high school football game.

Two men beat a homeless man with a metal bar and urinate on him screaming, “Donald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported,” When asked for a comment about the incident Trump defends them saying, “My supporters are very passionate. They love this country and they want this country to be great again.”

Trump supporter attacks a Hispanic man and a Muslim student at a gas station while yelling, “Trump! Trump! Trump!”

Trump supporter stabs a black man unprovoked because he was holding hands with a white woman, tells police they need to release him so he can attend a Trump rally that night.

Trump supporter attacks Muslim woman at airport.

A Trump supporter punches a 70 year old protester in the face.

Trump supporter arrested for brutally beating protester.

3 Trump supporters arrested planning terrorist attack to kill Muslims.

Trump supporter confuses an Indian man for a Muslim at restaurant and says, “Things are different now, I don’t want you sand n*ggers sitting next to me.” Before attacking the man.

“We got a new President you fucking f*ggots.” Men yell as they attack gay man.

Trump supporters track down and brutally beat an artist because she made a painting of Trump with a small penis.

Trump supporter who sucker punched protester: “Next time, we might have to kill them.”

Trump is asked to comment on his supporters brutally beating a black man, he responds with, “Maybe he should have been roughed up,”

“You fucking gorillas and baby monkeys, We voted for Trump. Trump’s building a wall, beaners, and you’ll be going back to where you belong.” Man yells at black elementary school children unprovoked before he swerves his car at them attempting to hit them.

Trump supporters beat black man so badly he’s hospitalized for concussion and call him the n-word.

Trump supporter pepper sprays a 15-year-old girl point-blank in the face after another Trump supporter groped her breasts, shouting “n*gger lover” as she attempted to run away.

Trump supporter walks up to a black man in the middle of a downtown area and says, “Donald Trump will deport you.” Before punching the black man.

“Trump is going to win and if you don’t like it I’m going to beat your ass,” Trump supporter yells at random black woman outside of convenient store.

Man attacks and kicks Muslim airport employee shouting, “Trump is here now, he will get rid of all of you.”

In 8 months Trump supporters attacked protesters at 20 different rallies.

Trump supporter tracks down a local Latino Democratic political candidate and tries to run him and his elderly mother over with a car. (The Latino candidate is also a former marine.)

“This is for Donald Trump!” man yells as he runs up a Latino person and punches them in the head.

Trump supporter goes to Hillary Clinton rally to disrupt the event, ends up punching someone when asked to leave.

Trump supporter punches, chokes and slaps protesters on video during rally.

An angry mob of Trump supporters brutally beat and grab a mans genitals because he held up a, “Republicans Against Trump” sign.

A Trump supporter yells, “Get your black kids out of here. Do you even have a job? Do you know what a job is, n*gger?” Before physically attacking a black man who had come to the hospital to get help for his sick 2 week old daughter.

Local Republican Politician sexually assaults a woman by, “grabbing her pussy.” and then says he is allowed to do it because now that Trump is president he doesn’t have to be politically correct.

Canadian man who was a vocal Trump supporter both online and in person goes into a mosque and murders 6 people.

Trump supporter physically assaults Comedian on stage for making Anti-Trump Joke.

Man yells, “Trump” while beating African immigrant cab driver.

A Trump supporter is arrested for burning a Mosque down.

A Trump supporter sees a car has pro-gay bumper stickers on it and then follows the car, waiting for the 75 year old driver to get out before brutally attacking him while screaming, “My new president says we can kill all you f*ggots now.”

A Trump supporter is arrested after brutally attacking gay men outside a McDonald’s. Witnesses describe the aftermath as, “There was blood everywhere.”

A Muslim refugee gay rights activist is kidnapped and raped by two men in retaliation for, “Trump being mocked.”

A Trump supporter is arrested on terrorism charges for building bombs he was going to use to kill Muslims.

Person spray-paints a transgender veterans car with the word “Trump” then sets it on fire.

A Trump supporter attacks two Muslim women and tries to push over a stroller with a baby in it while screaming, “Get the fuck out of America”

A Trump supporter tells a random Muslim woman he sees on the street, “I’m voting for Trump because he said he would send all of you terrorists out of this country.” Before attacking her.

Man shoots out the windows of two businesses from a car while shouting, “Hail Trump.”

zennistrad

“Leftists are violent thugs.”

the-real-eye-to-see

Gymnastics has come a long compared to that old footage, but this difference is particularly significant for black girls! Because they have never taken seriously our abilities! Just because the color of our skin is not what they want to see!

Simone Biles’s fantastic performance has been covered by many news outlets all these years! Now we can see the real difference!

#BlackGirlsMagic

dannymrowr

It’s like a metaphor of what millenials have to do to get jobs vs baby boomers lol

advanced-procrastination

I was debating whether to reblog but that last comment did it for me

What she says : I'm fine.

What she means : The reason HIMYM finale was a tragedy lies in the last seconds where Ted and Robin get back together. Not only did the writers destroy the most interesting and romantic couple this show has ever had, but they also gave the annoying stupid excessive male character his happy ending while ruining the independent woman and the sensitive womanizer. Worse, they admitted Robin should have been The Mother, which would have been catastrophic since she's never wanted kids. Also, Ted was ready to marry any girl. Robin never left Barney's mind. For Ted, there has been Stella, Victoria, Tracy, etc. For Barney, there was only Robin. She was The One™.