@rayeginbisexual - Tumblr Blog

garrettjama

bufhasvhndsls-deactivated201610

GET A LOAD OF THAT DOG

owlmylove

[distantly] THAT DOG

jamie-bennett

This is hands down my favorite video on the internet and I am so happy it showed back up on my dash!

havingchanged

kikithegirl

ATTENTION ALL OF TUMBLR!

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE.

IN 2014, IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, USA

THERE

WILL

BE

A

TUMBLR CONVENTION!!!

THESE ARE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT ARE MAKING IT HAPPEN:

http://tumbl-con-usa.tumblr.com/

SIGNAL BOOST THIS GUYS

I WANNA SEE EVERYONE THERE!!

etotheoneeyeowl

HAHA OH MAN REMEMBER WHEN

cringe-attacks

remember when u were a kid and u used to watch the raindrops race each other outside ur car window

hekacute-deactivated20141230

I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

pluginduck

What the fuck did I just read

did-you-know

The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source

aclockworknick

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

wellshitcaitlin

OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”

And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder

silverhawk

sometimes i forget that there are wild hamsters

like

they…..they are wild. no hamster wheels. no water bottle to drink from. no cages. they are free.

what-is-this-i-dont-even

Apparently the dude who started Netflix did so cuz he got a $40 late fee from Blockbuster and was pissed

iverbz

pettiness is the greatest motivation in the world.

berlynn-wohl

In 1888, Almon Brown Stronger, an undertaker, noticed he was losing a lot of business to the other undertaker in his town. He found out that the other undertaker’s wife was a telephone operator. When she intercepted people asking to be connected to Stronger’s funeral home, the operator would route the call to her husband’s funeral home instead.

Three years later, Stronger patented the automatic telephone exchange, a system which allowed telephone users to make calls without the need for human operators.

bayoubastard-deactivated2022121

he destroyed a whole workforce

sensitive-inferno

Lawful Evil.

chulshik

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

island-delver-go

creed-of-corruption

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”