Whatever Happens, Happens

21< Irish He/himbo I yell on Twitter a lot @raygretts & NSFW @NotRaygretts

[fractally]

I'm having a lot of fun imagining Shane and Ilya dealing with these dumbass hockey players like the rookies are acting weird for weeks and then finally one of them breaks and asks, "So uhhhh not to be fucking stupid man but when you say you waited to come out 'because Russia' what does that like, mean," and Ilya blue-screens and Shane has to give a presentation about the history of anti-gay legislation in Russia

Some reporter asks "What's it like having a gay couple in the locker room" and a rookie gets all teary eyed and sputtering and goes "it's FUCKED UP man. FUCKED UP." And bursts into tears

And the media room goes crazy and finally Coach Wiebe has to step in and be like, "OK it's not what you think. Last week they all watched Moonlight together"

[ghiblin]

HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE ハウルの動く城 2004, dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[galecstatic]

recentering the exact moment shane realized he prefers being the hole rather than the peg

[porcelainmortal]

This, he realized, was why people were so wild about sex. He had never, ever felt like this with anyone before. And of course Ilya Rozanov, all of nineteen years old, fucked with the confidence and skill of, like, a sex god.

[godmotherpm]

The craziest thing about this whole situation is that Ilya thinks in Russian and in Russian ‘lovers’ LITTERAL TRANSLATION is ‘возлюбленные’. Which ACTUALLY MEANS ‘people who feel love and attraction towards each other’. MY BOY WAS CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO SHANE AND LOST IN TRANSLATION GAME. HE WAS SO PURE ABOUT IT AND ONLY GOT ‘No, Ilya, that’s gross’. MY SWEET LOVERBOY.

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

it's very special to me that as people find out about hollanov they make the obvious assumption (like david) that it's recent, likely that it started up either around the time they were planning their charity or a few months before ilya goes to the centaurs and the ones who think it's been longer think it was like maybe a year prior to the trade probably and that would be 3 years together before they get married aw how sweet and then I like to imagine that ilya makes an anniversary post like "happy one year married, twelve together" and literally everyone in the hockey world is like happy WHAT

[punishedsaints]

[shadowblade8192]

do you think the people who would build a rent reducer 9000 are the same people who are building houses

[tvguts]

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

[trashcanniballecter]

Shane: I was the one to make the first move

Ilya: that's not true! I did! In the shower!

Shane: I introduced myself to you at world juniors!

Ilya: that wasn't a move! That was normal introduction!

Shane: Ilya, baby, when have you ever known me to initiate a social interaction with a stranger?

Ilya: . . . Holy shit

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[forepop]

my dad, trying to explain the concept of money to me: say you have a sandwich, and i need your sandwich. but i don't have anything to give you. you're not just gonna give it to me.

me: i would just give it to you.

my dad:

[androfembot]

in elementary school we had. basically an immersive economics lesson that was "playing City," with different jobs and businesses; it was mostly semi-free time for socializing and selling/buying toys and snacks from each other. one of the lessons we were supposed to learn was the importance of paying a small amount of money into health and/or business insurance, because you had a chance of being hit with the Daily Disaster and a huge bill.

anyway, some kid who didn't buy insurance got hit with a "medical bill" early on, so he was supposed to be bankrupt and have to sit the rest of the game out. the 8 year olds were not having it and spontaneously invented crowdfunding so he could keep playing with everyone else.

kids who don't 'get it' are right, actually

[sonnetscrewdriver]

endlessly, morbidly fascinated by how when you're a kid you're constantly having parents, school, religion, media, all drumming it into your head that Sharing Is Good And You Need To Do It, and then you grow up and suddenly they're all like right never mind all that, this is The Real World and it's every bastard for himself

[wizardarchetypes]

idk who needs to hear this but ‘texting and driving’ actually is about driving & looking at ur phone for any reason including typing new directions into your damn maps app or choosing a song. stop swerving into my lane looking up a playlist to commit vehicular manslaughter to. ‘i wasn’t technically texting’ aint gonna hold up in court babes

[feltforever]

i have a headcanon that shane has a very prominent queer fanbase wayyy before coming out. he’s got a speedo sponsorship and he’s an underwear model, the gays are frothing over him constantly. he’s relatively unaware of this cause he’s not on social media but at some point he hears someone refer to him as a gay icon and he nearly has a panic attack.

post skip ice kiss, people are revisiting the infamous shane/scott fight and a rumor starts that him and scott used to be an item. ilya thinks its hilarious and teasingly asks if he fucked scott hunter, which leads to shane explaining why they actually fought, which only makes ilya happier.

[skelesass]

what do you think, leon? people can change, right?

[askpredetor]

>Morning shift

>Customer is angry that we disabled his card

>calm him down because it is a security measure

>We had to block his card because he spent 5k on Genshin Impact at 4AM and almost drained his entire bank account

>The instant we unblock his card he spends 200 more dollars on Genshin Impact

[askpredetor]

Every 200 notes I wake up to, I see some familiar faces and learn that some of you just have this post ON STANDBY to remind yourselves not to whale for the new bland twink. 

Proud of you guys

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

happy ides of March

[pancakeke]

I don't know if any of you had the same experience as me, but I tried therapy when I was a teenager living in an abusive household and thought it was a waste of time. Ultimately my biggest problems (dad) were beyond my control and no amount of coping would make them better. Now that I'm an adult with actual control over my life and don't live with my dad anymore therapy is MUCH more helpful.

If any of you had bad experiences with therapy when you were younger it may be worth it to try again now.

[pancakeke]

THE SAME GOES FOR MEDICATION!! I tried meds as a teenager and they were powerless to help much due to my living situation being horrible. I thought that meant medication didn't work for me. Now that I'm out of that situation and trying agajn I can really see a difference.

[womenshockeymp3]

“You've got to be a special person to want to stand in net and get puck's shot at you.”