𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕.

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&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        being in the carriage   ,  it’s deceivingly parallel to how she felt with him. fearful. uncertain of what was around   , what was happening but as long as he was with her   ,  sitting beside her with GIVING hands and a warm touch   ,  she knew she was safe. and she has so much to learn   ,  so much that needs to be discovered but with him   ,  she’s able to turn away from the instinct of fear and defence and appreciate the view. the bright lights radiating around the darkness   ,  splashing across the night sky.  it’s beautiful   ,  though every moment they spent together was exactly that. whether it was scuba diving in an unknown country   ,  sharing dinner at their favourite restaurants or whether they were at home with his head on her lap with inaudible sounds coming from his tired lips. there’s not a single moment that goes unnoticed and truthfully   ,  she came to a realisation   ;   the distance thought them how to love   ,  to meet a love that would boundless.  ❝  i’m yours.  ❞  her voice is a barely audible whisper   ,  vocalising words that have been screaming LOUDLY for a long time   ,   words she hadn’t had the courage to speak   ,  ❝  … i’m yours.  ❞ tender eyes fall shut as she leans in   ,  a slow movement as she allows their lips to touch   ,  not a care in the world about the ride they were on or the red remnants she’d leave on his face.

     they’re  limitless  ;  so high up that the ground that nobody can reach them  ,  &  he doesn’t care.  a weight lifts from his chest  &  he forgets  ,  the moment her  lips  meet his  ,  about the world  &  everything  AROUND  them.  it’s always been that easy to slip away from reality  ,  hands moving her face closer as their lips meet  ,  the heat from her skin a  stark  contrast to the cold wind that’s whipping around them.  it wasn’t supposed to  happen  like this  ;  he had everything planned out  ,  but the thing with them is that nothing  ever  goes to plan  ,  but he loved that.  he loves the thrill of it all  ,  the fear of the  unknown.  she always manages to keep him on his toes  ,  &  he needs that to stay grounded.  ❛  i love you  ,  ❜  lips remain  LOCKED  as he says the words  ,  only breaking the moment when he feels the carriage rock unsteadily beneath them.  grabbing onto the  handle bars  he keeps a tight hold onto her waist  ,  laughing.  ❛  well  ,  that just  ruined  the moment.  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        the feeling of uneasiness saturates across her stomach   ,  emerging from her core to her lungs like a feeling of breathlessness. the ferris wheel wasn’t something she particularly enjoyed   ,  given her severe dread surrounding heights. she remembers the first year  ( and last year ) she’d went on one   ,  three years ago with her father just a few days before he passed and she’d cried   ,  despite how much her father tried   ,  she couldn’t. while she’d NEVER admit it out loud   ,  it was not only because of her fear against heights but the sweet memories annexed   ,  affixed like a root against soil which couldn’t be replicated. she’s smiling brightly at him despite the anxiety inside of her   , knowing that she’s save yet unprepared for the feelings that’ll be attached to the ride. gently placing her bag on the side side   ,  the young brunette gently pats the space beside her.  ❝  sit with me rudolph   ,  ❞  she demands   ,  her voice laced with gentleness as her fingers reach of his in instinct playing with them as her lids watch them  ,  ❝  … i want to tell you something.  ❞  a heavy breath departs from her lips but she’s relieved   ,  eyes slowly moving up his torso until they finally meet his azure hues. she’s taking a moment to drink him   ,  in the moment they’re having and the memory they’re RELIVING.  ❝  i don’t know what’s going to come from this  ,  i honestly didn’t think you’d ever come back to lorfield   ;   to me   ,  ❞  her left hand escaping her grip allowing her thumb to graze across his cheek   ,  ❝  … but regardless   ,  regardless of all the distance. i’ll always be here   ,  for YOU. i love you theodore.  ❞

     his gaze is trained on her  ,  DESPITE  the view.  despite the rising carriage  &  the twinkling lights beneath them  ,  getting smaller the higher they go.  slowly  ,  yet surely they’re being carried  higher  &  higher  ,  dividing them from the world so it’s just the two of them  ,  in their own space  ,  trying to figure out where they are  NOW  &  where they’ll go.  he knows where he wants them to be  ;  he’s  known  it for three years  &  it’s about time he did something about it.  he listens to her words  ,  a sorrowed look taking over his features before he  carefully  folds his hands on her cheek  ,  SHAKING  his head a little.  ❛  wherever you are is where i want to be  ,  cheyenne.  i’m not leaving you again.  ❜  he wonders  how  many times he has to say that for her to believe him  ,  if she’ll learn to  trust  that he’s done running  ,  that she’s enough to make him stay.  ❛  i love you  ,  &  i want to be  WITH  you  ,  ❜  he says quietly  ,  stare moving over her features.  soft  ,  delicate  ;  to him  ,  she’s the most  beautiful  girl he’s ever seen  &  despite the countless  blind dates  his mother set him up on  ,  all the girls she threw his way  ,  they were nothing compared to cheyenne.  even on this  frosty  night  ,  LIGHTS  of different colours  &  patterns moving  beneath  them  ,  he can’t look away.  ❛  be with me  ,  ❜  he says  ,  so suddenly that he doesn’t know the words leave his lips until they’re  carried  in the air.

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        she never understood his attraction with white clothing   ,  reminiscing the plethora occasions in which he’d wear pearly hued clothing on their countless dates   ,  all which would turn to an artwork of white and REDS by the end of the night. he’d never complained about the high turnover he had on his shirts though   ,  unless teasingly. she knows why   ,  in fact   ,  she’s felt it before   ;   pigmented bruises across her neck and décolletage   ,  a physical memory of the previous night   ,  one she had with her for the next few days afterwards   ,  that she’d spend concealing with make up and turtle necks in the middle of summer. her friends used to tell her that it wasn’t okay   ,  that it was a case of him marking his territory. but that wasn’t it   ,  to her   ,  it was a fragment of a night together where they allowed themselves to be consumed not with worldly things   ;   but with each OTHER.  ❝  maybe that’s my plan all along   ,  ❞  a teasing grin across her features lids heavy as she gently rests her hands on his chest  , inhaling deeply as though for a moment she forgets how to breathe. as they make their way to the elevator   ,  she can’t help but wish that they didn’t have a carnival to attend to   ,  that they could’ve simply had a moment with him and herself.  ❝  … i still have a lot of learning to do.  ❞ 

     theo chuckles  ,  placing a hand  gently  on the bottom of her back to guide her inside the elevator once it arrives  ;  like he used to do when  GUIDING  her around fancy events  &  hotel lobbies.  still  ,  there’s a flutter of excitement inside his  stomach  , but the night seems to go passed so quickly.  traffic took away  most  of the night  ;  but they seemed to make the best of situation in the back of the car  ,  anyway.  but the carnival was near to  CLOSING  when they arrived  ,  so after several attempts at  ring toss  to win her the llama that they’re now carrying with them  ,  theo is using his hand to guide her towards the  ferris wheel  ,  luminous lights making the towering ride  STAND OUT  among the smaller  ,  less conspicuous stalls.  he presses his lips to her temple  ,  a smile which hasn’t left him  all night  etched there permanently as they arrive.  luckily  ,  the queue isn’t as big as it was when they first arrived.  ❛  told you i wanted to take you on this before the  NIGHT  was up  ,  ❜  he says sweetly into her ear  ,  helping her into the cart after paying the guy in the booth.  ❛  if you get  scared  ,  just let me know  &  i  might  consider distracting you.  ❜  teasing  ,  but there a softness to his tone.

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goldre

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&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        she remembers looking through one of her old facebook posts   ,  the one she’d posted on their first year anniversary. a regrettable phote with her untamed locks cascading uncontrollably against her body   ,  splashed across the image of the romantic paris scenery with him right beside her to tell a story of a time before he even understood what hair gel was. despite the frizzy hair   ,  lack of understanding on make up and style   ,  it’s a post that left her smiling on nights when she were alone   ,  remember a much SIMPLER time   ,  a time when she was with him.  her caption spoke about the feeling of MAGIC when with him   ,  plunging her into a different world   ,  encircling her like it was an all consuming force that was inescapable and even now   ,  she can recite such a feeling with complete vividness   ,  feeling it at that exact moment. she missed him.  ❝  oh theodore   ,  i know how much you like a challenge. besides you should know more than anyone that nothing good comes easy   ,  you’ll need to try harder perhaps  ,  ❞  a playful quip emits from her lips   ,  emanated through the mellow giggle that escapes before she rises to her toes   ,  a gentle kiss on top of his nose   ,  ❝  … that’s punishment   ,  rudolph. and i won’t be here to help you clean it off this time.  ❞  eyes fall to the hand extended towards her   ,  without thinking she intertwines her much thinner fingers between his   ,  a gentle squeeze before she begins walking   ,  closing the door behind her.  ❝  guess it means three years weren’t wasted and that i trained you well   ,  ❞  a heavy breath as she turns to him  ,  a smile looming across her features.  

     stained.  she’s done the same to countless of his  shirts  ,  too  ,  as if marking her territory.  not that he  PARTICULARLY  minded  ,  but going from pristine white cotton to a shirt completed with lipstick marks.  he’d gained quite a  collection  of them in the time they dated  &  has had to go out  &  buy countless new shirts  ,  might he add.  the marks could  never  be washed away  ,  &  he liked that.  they’re like SOUVENIRS  ,  in a way  ,  &  souvenirs are things you should never let go of.  ❛  really  ,  cheri  ?  you know  better  than anyone that when i work for something  ,  i get it  ,  so  don’t  tempt me.  ❜  theo teases  ,  eyes widening in surprise when she dots a lipstick mark on his nose.  eyes narrow as he looks  DOWN  at it  ,  shoulders lifting into a careless skin.  ❛  you’re  not  ?  okay  ,  then i suppose you wouldn’t mind spending the night with pennywise the clown.  ❜  his head  tilts  as if thinking the idea over  ,  before squeezing her hand once it’s in his.  he’s pleasantly surprised at how  EASY  it is to slip into old habits.  thoughtless teasing  ,  holding each other’s hands as if it’s the most  natural  thing in the world.  it feels like it  ,  too.  her hand fits  perfectly  in his  &  he’s quite content with just standing there  ,  enjoying a moment alone but they have a carnival to get to.  ❛  hey  ,  i learned  A LOT  from you  ,  actually  ,  ❜  he says as they reach the  hallway.

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        she doesn’t notice the rosette until he brings verbal attention to it   ,  baby pink soaring across her cheeks at the gesture. she’s not used to the chivalry   ,  in fact it’s probably one of the closest things she’s received to it in the last three years. a gentle kiss meets his lip   ,  leaving a heavy red mark in it’s place. she lips emit an euphonic giggle   ,  something that he’s VERY familiar with.  ❝  thank you  , you really shouldn’t have   ,  hold on i left something on your cheek.  ❞  gently putting the rose on the ligneous frame beside the door  , right besides her key  she extends her thumb  , gently rubbing the stain off his cheek. regardless of how hard the teeth sink into her lower lip  , the young woman makes a foolish attempt in concealing the smile radiating off her face like bright light from the sun. after a couple of moments she turns to face him   ,  eyes drinking into the gaze that were his ocean orbs. it had been far too long since she’d felt like this   ,  so long that it’s her own body and its natural instinct to wrap her fingers around his neck   ,  lids dropping as they settled onto him. she isn’t sure how long she’s been in that position  , finally pulling herself from the moment as she realises that they’re far from a position of no control.  ❝  are you driving   ,  theodore ? i heard parking is going to be a nightmare  ,  ❞  she questions  , pulling away as she broke the silence   ,  returning with the black bag he’d gifted her three years ago. she scans him from head to toe  , noticing the similarities in their outfits.  ❝  … nice outfit.  ❞

     a gentle smile fights it’s way onto his lips at the  feel  of hers on his skin  ,  a sweet gesture which has him  PLACING  one on hers in return.  ❛  i give you a rose  &  you get me all dirty  ?  i know it’s cold out  ,  but my cheeks don’t need help being all  pink.  ❜  a chuckle vibrates from his chest as she wipes away the  mark  on his cheek  ,  like when they were dating  &  they’d be invited to fancy events  &  extravagant parties.  he’d  ALWAYS  buy her a rose  ,  without fail.  he’d spend hours in the florist looking for one particular rose.  ‘  the most  beautiful  rose for the most beautiful girl  ’  ,  he  used  to say.  a simple gesture that he’d spend a long time pondering over before actually carrying it through.  it was  THIS  way before they dated  ,  too.  on valentine’s day or her  birthday  ,  he would leave a  single  rose attached to her locker with the exact same words written on the attached ribbon.  of course  ,  he never  told  her it was him until they started dating.  ❛  in this  TRAFFIC  ?  definitely not.  we’d be waiting forever.  speaking of  ,  we should  probably  get going before it gets anyway worse.  i want to at least take you on the ferris wheel before the night is up.  ❜  he allows his gaze to  drift  over her  ,  biting his lip to hold back a laugh.  ❛  WHO  would’ve thought  ,  huh  ?  all these years of protesting  &  we’re matching without making any effort.  ❜  his stare moves  back  to hers  ,  azure blues meeting liquid lava before he offers her an arm.

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        limbo. she’s not entirely sure where she stands with HIM and that’s something that she generally never felt with him. her memory brings her heavy recollection towards the moment they stood underneath the entrance of the their favourite restaurant  , waiting for the rain to die down before she noticed him preparing himself to run. she held onto him  , grabbing on the jacket he wore that was most probably more money than she ever saw in her lifetime   ;    stopping him. she told him they could just ‘ wait it out ’ together  , that she’d rather feel the pain in her legs from standing in the heels he loved on her than seeing him leave her and catch a cold. maybe  , the last three years was a case of him running though she’s not sure whether he were running to the car or whether he was simply leaving her  , realising the cloudiness and darkness that came with her presence. she’s looking at herself in the full length mirror  , fingertips patting on the porcelain taffeta wrapped around her svelte frame. it’s an uneasiness against the pit of her stomach  , one she recalls vividly receiveing on their first date. a knock on the door violently yanks her from her moment of absence  , pulling her into reality.  ❝  hey  ,  ❞  she greets him  , a smile brewing across her lip as rose pigments flush across her cheekbones  ,  copper orbs scanning him from head to toe before taking a step back  , allowing him inside  ,  ❝  … come in  , let me just get my bag.  ❞

     he’s been  SILENT  the entire car ride  ,  trying  (  &  unsuccessfully  )  to not think too much  ,  but these days all he’s been doing is  thinking  &  it’s starting to give him a head ache.  he was up all night last night  &  hasn’t stopped working all day  ,  to  try  &  make up for the work he won’t be doing this weekend.  over the  LAST  year  ,  work has become to be the only stable thing he has so he’s been  holding   onto it for dear life  ,  like it could be stripped from his grasp within a few short slip ups.  he’s tired of thinking about what  might  happen  &  what’s actually happened  ,  so he’s decided  (  GOD FORBID  )  that he’s going to try  &  have fun tonight  ,  if that’s even  possible.  he’s so lost in thought that he’s not even aware that the car has stopped outside of what he assumes to be cheyenne’s apartment building.  so  ,  telling  the driver to wait here  ,  he pulls his jacket tighter over his chest as he  STEPS  out into the chilly winter night  ,  making his way up to her  apartment  ,  a single rose in hand.  after knocking twice  ,  he waits patiently for her to answer.  he’s not sure what the night will bring  ,  or if it will bring  anything  ,  but he’s just going to take it as it  COMES  &  hope for the best.  a smile is on his lips when she answers  ,  nodding his head towards her as he enters upon her  invite.  bringing out the flower  ,  her tilts his head to one side.  ❛  i  saw  this  &  thought you might like it.  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  REMEDIALS ;

         “    if  this  breaks  &  we  go  tumbling  down  to  our  demise,   i’m  definitely  blaming  you.    ”     there’s  no  real  concern  in  his  tone  despite  how  rickety  the  ferris  wheel’s  cart  seems,  especially  with  the  rocking  back  &  forth.  he’s  too  enthralled  with  the  lights  illuminating  the  evening,   bathing  his  features  in  a  large  array  of  colors.  an  almost  childish  fascination  evident  in  how  he’s  looking  out  over  the  rest  of  the  carnival,  he’s  always  loved  sights  like  this,  moments  that  remind  him  of  the  beauty  in  the  little  things.  his  murmur’s  reverent,     “    it’s  pretty,   isn’t  it  ?    ”

     ❛  oh  ,  right.  didn’t i  TELL  you  ?  i went  &  loosened some of the bolts for that exact reason.  sorry  ,  buddy  ,  guess i should’ve  told  you.  ❜  theo teases  ,  before he gaze moves along the view of the carnival.  since he was a kid  ,  the ferris wheel has  always  been his favourite part.  he’s never been bothered by  HEIGHTS  ;  if anything  ,  he finds the invincibility of it comforting.  but  sometimes  he forgets that people don’t share the same views  &  quite often gets carried away with the  thrill.  ❛  yeah  ,  just wait until we get to the top.  it’s  amazing.  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  WILDCS ;

     noel is, quite obviously, out of his element. he hates crowds, hates all the loud noises a carnival brings… some would argue that the male hated fun, and while he’d dispute that if it was said to his face, half of him wonders if there’s truth behind that claim. still, here he is, snacking on a mediocre fried oreo and people-watching. he’s swaying back and forth, and honestly, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it at this point; it’s all to pacify the baby he’s currently sporting in a front pack ( yes, he’s reached full Dad Mode™, thank you very much ). when he spots a familiar face not too far away, he gives them a nod and a slight smile, which is more of a greeting than anyone else might get. ‘ i told myself i was going to be more social, ’ he says as soon as they’re within an ear’s reach, and he gives a gentle shrug of his shoulders. ‘ but honestly ? this is… a lot to take in right now. but hey, if i win that pizza oven, i might just start selling pizzas at the bakery ! red velvet bakery and pizzeria has a ring to it, i think. ’ his tone drips with lighthearted sarcasm, and he looks over at the other. ‘ what about you ? are you having fun yet ? ’

     he hasn’t been here in what feels like  CENTURIES.  his family used to come here every year  (  or what  could  be considered as a functional family  )  before he  &  his sister got older  &  his parents couldn’t be bothered to  ,  as they put it  ,  socialise with a  bunch  of  ‘  small town lifers  ’.  theo could  NEVER  understand why they detested lorfield so much  ,  since he always hated the city  &  if they ever gave him the chance  ,  he  never  would’ve left in the first place.  the city snipped the last thread of whatever  bonded  them together  ,  as far as he was concerned.  the concrete  JUNGLE  might as well have been a concrete prison.  still  ,  he’s overcome with emotions that he’s not too fond on  feeling  ,  so he tries to keep a blank face as he walks  ,  like he’s treading on foreign territory  ,  around the  carnival  grouds.  spotting a familiar face  (  or faces  )  ,  however  ,  theo can’t  HELP  but smile a little before crossing the ground to noel.  ❛  you  ?  be  social  ?  is that even possible  ?  ❜  he chuckles before pulling a face at the baby to entice a laugh.  ❛  that’d be good for business  ,  i think.  slogan:  ‘  we’re very serious about baking  ’.  suites you  QUITE  well.  ❜  he offers noel another smile before shrugging at his question.  ❛  i’m  not  sure.  it’s weird being back here.  ❜

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&.´     ☇  LYGIAS ;

her orbs narrowed at the sight of him. the sass emanating off of him made her snarl. she could sense his aura of pomposity, and man, did it piss her off. “what the fuck is a arctic circle?” she inquired, waving her palm dismissively. nothing ticked her off more than when there were references thrown her way that surpassed her high school drop out education. whatever it was, though, she knew he was being a smart ass. needless to say, that didn’t sit right with her in the slightest. elle chewed people like him up, and spat them back out with ease. she leaned in close, oceanic orbs piercing into his own while she spoke faintly, “you need to watch how you fix your mouth to talk to people. i’d hate to stomp your pretty little ass out, but lord knows i’ll do it in a heartbeat.” she smiled afterward, snickered, even, and motioned towards the bartender. “now, pay for my scotch on the rocks ‘fore i get testy, sweetpea.”

     theo merely quirks a brow  ,  a look of  concern  on his face.  ❛  the arctic circle  ?  it’s in the northern hemisphere  ,  INCLUDES  alaska  ,  canada  ,  den—  never mind.  ❜  he waves her off.  he’s  pretty sure  it doesn’t take going to an ivy league college to know common sense  ,  but then again he  wouldn’t  know.  he often forgets that just because he’s experienced life’s experiences  ,  that doesn’t mean that  EVERYONE  else has.  he can be pretentious  ;  a powerful arrogance in the way he  holds  is shoulders  ,  tips his chin  ,  straightens his back.  it’s a trait  ,  he hasn’t noticed  ,  that  belonged  to his father.  theodore fights the amusement off his face  ,  shaking his head.  ❛  it’s funny  ,  hearing you  THREATEN  me like you actually mean it.  but i think you’ve mistaken me for somebody who cares.  ❜  he shrugs  ,  taking another sip from his drink.  ❛  like i  said  , you can buy your own.  i’m not a charity.  ❜

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&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

       she had her reservations about him  , two VERY different worlds colliding seems romantic on paper but such a collision  , in her eyes  , sounds too much for a recipe of destruction  , one where she wasn’t sure whether she’d have the strength to clean the remnants of the aftermath. except being with him was far from a dilapidation   ;   it was the creation of something much bigger than themselves  , a partnership more powerful than the greats of history. she found herself giving herself to him  , not that so she could be changed but so that he could show her the better things in life. they were better together  , as though the best parts of each other seemingly oozed into each others souls. he taught her how to love   ;   how to love properly. and in those three years apart  , she’d forgotten about it. it was a dance she’d forgotten the choreography to  ,  a recipe to a cake that had been lost in translation. waiting for him  , praying for him to answer her calls and wishing for his affection suddenly turned to empty vodka bottles  , hook ups  , fights and tears against the pillowcases that he’d once laid on. she wasn’t sure whether she’d ever be the same person  , the one he loved. but standing there  , immersed in his tenderness and affection  ;   makes her forget how fucked up she became throughout those years. his confession brings an uneasiness against her stomach  , arms wrapped tightly against his body in instinct  ,   ❝  … i hate that you know ? don’t do that  , theodore. don’t push me away  , when it comes to things just you and me  , you’ll always have me. it doesn’t matter what has happened or what’s going to happen  , don’t push me away. it’s us against the world.  ❞

     he remembers the first time he saw her  ,  when he’d  just  got home from school after a long afternoon of playing soccer.  of course  ,  he’d seen her around  school  before  &  heard his sister mention her name  ,  but they’d never actually met.  cheyenne wijaya.  his friends spoke about her  ,  too.  the girl who everybody wanted but too  STUPID  to keep.  he used to roll his eyes at them  ;  the boy who was always so focused on his  future.  he told himself he wouldn’t be like them  ,  that he couldn’t pine because he didn’t have a chance  ,  anyway.  but then she  stayed over  with his sister  ,  her presence becoming a regular occurrence  &  over-time she became a friend  ,  a  CONFIDENT  ,  so much so that there came a time where he’d start to think of her more  ,  imagining having a life with her.  at first he was in  denial  ,  but after a while he realised  ,  a little shockingly  ,  that he was in love.  he squeezes her hips gently  ,  pulling her  closer  as if she isn’t already close enough.  ❛  we make a good team  ,  ❜  he says with a  SLOW  smile.  ❛  sorry for scaring you.  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

are there any friends you wish you never met?

     ❛ if we’re not  friends  anymore then there’s a high chance i regret it.  i’m sure you can work out the  rest.  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

&.´     ☇  CHEYCNNE ;

        she’s crippling contraction     ;   soft facial features clashing against rough marks  , bruises  , remnants of her violent nights. she’s a deceptively beautiful  , like pyrite   ;   she is fools gold.  cheyenne wijaya is a daphne flower   ;   exotic  , beautiful to observe but deadly to touch. but as their bodies are caught in friction  , she can’t help but feel WHOLE  , as though somehow  , she wasn’t as destructive as people perceived her to be  , pulling the cheyenne of three years ago out of the darkness in the current one that existed. she feels empty  , but with their body heat colliding  , she feels like she’s finally found home.  ❝  i KNOW theodore and i’m so sorry  , that i couldn’t be there for you  ,  ❞ she’s genuine  , knowing first hand what it’s like to throw into a world of detestation and isolation   , when she was lost and DISOWNED by everything she once knew as family. the brunette is familiar with the nightmares  , or more so in the DREAMS  , where she’d wake up from the pain that was reality.   ❝ thank you  ,  ❞  she isn’t talking about the money  , she knew HIM far better than that and how it meant nothing to him as it did to her  , but for looking out of him  , for being the guardian angel that wasn’t looking for praise or glory. she chuckles  , arms tightening around him before she pulls her body away , coffee eyes locked onto his  ,  ❝  … i know that dad  , will always see you as his son . even if we didn’t work out in the end.  ❞  she chuckles  ,  ❝  …  sorry  , i just  , suddenly remember the time where we left the door locked for the first time in my room and when we left  , he was on the other side with his ear locked to the door and when i yelled at him  , he told me he was just checking the flooring.  ❞

     they’re like fire  &  air.  each it’s  own  element but dependent on each other to spark a flame.  he used to think she was the  SUN  ,  &  that she burned too bright for him.  but when he was with her  ,  he was no longer the  shadow  among other shadows  ;  waiting patiently for her to  notice.  when he was with her  ,  she made him feel like the sun  ,  too.  he can’t remember  when he fell in love with her  ,  all he knows is that suddenly his sister’s friend became  more  than that.  after countless nights of her in his room  ,  early in the morning when neither of them could sleep.  he never  SAW  it coming  ,  but then again he never even saw her coming.  his friends used to tease him  ,  saying he had  no chance  ,  but then things changed  &  the next thing he knew  ,  she was his.  his  rose  among the thorns  ,  sun on a darkened day.  he didn’t realise how much she meant to him until she felt the same way.  ❛  cheyenne  …  when you came that night  ,  at the hospital  …  &  you thought i was  DISCHARGED  …  ❜  he pauses  ,  gaze shifting for a few seconds  ,  before moving back to acorn hues.  ❛  i was  actually  in the operating room.  the doctors said i had a fifty-fifty shot of surviving  ,  so i asked my mom to tell you that i was dispatched  ,  because i  thought  it would hurt you less if i died  &  you hated me.  ❜  he vividly remembers the look of  BETRAYAL  in his mother’s eyes.  ❛  i think that’s when she realised that no matter how much she made me  push  you away  ,  you mattered more to me than anything.  ❜  he smiles  comfortably  at the memory she brings forward.  ❛  &  the time he wouldn’t let us go to new york for the weekend unless he was our  tagalong.  ❜

[little-miss-tragedy]

I wish I could have at least told you goodbye; but I didn’t know there was a goodbye to be said.

(106/365) by (DS)

[rcthschiild-blog]

what is the one thing that reminds you of love

     ❛  do you even have to  ASK  ?  ❜

[rcthschiild-blog]

do you want to have children?

     ❛  yes.  but i’m still  young  &  wanna focus on life first  ,  y’know  ?  ❜