Just John

GetDowney.com - Downtime with John and Emily Need to learn how to do something? Email me and my sister at [email protected] (or dm us @downeysiblings), wait a week, and we'll probably have recorded a whole podcast about it.

[ilovefunnythings]

For a small donation!

[newtonpermetersquare]

happy bornday,kids

[prokopetz]

My partner and I show up for the ball, them in their backless dress and me in my assless tuxedo.

[realjohndowney]

Checking out our listenership on Spotify through my beer goggles. If you haven't already, make sure to follow @downeysiblings and go to the link in our description there to subscribe on Spotify! It really helps us a lot to rack up those subzzzz Thanks again to @katieferraramusic for the music on Episode 95: How to Stay Motivated! Make sure to give the episode a listen and show Katie some love with a follow! https://www.instagram.com/p/B7bNFOinvz5/?igshid=kz1iggi8ju4c

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[girl-sim-deactivated20230806-de]

Question: how long does a stick of deodorant last you?

[pulmosan-deactivated20200908]

Usually only 3 or 4 bites.

[girl-sim-deactivated20230806-de]

Why do I even bother

[frillyvt]

[triplefoul24-deactivated2022112]

Alexa, release my inhibitions

[acciowine]

[justiceleaque]

comic gatekeepers are..wild

[there-are-many-ways-to-smile]

Did you spoil him back with something better

[justiceleaque]

i have done my part bye

[37q-archive]

ladjfbvldafbvsdofivubs

[sugrspellitout]

The day after The Last Jedi came out I was shopping for a birthday present for a friend at a nerd store and these two guys walk up behind me, obviously wanting to look at where I was looking. One of them said “probably buying something for her boyfriend…stick to blow jobs bitch it’s not like you know what you’re looking at” so I turned around and say “Luke Skywalker dies.”

They look at me speechless, they hadn’t seen the movie yet. “What did you say?”

“I said Luke Skywaler dies. He force projects himself to fight Kylo Ren and then dies. And if you don’t get the fuck away from me I’ll tell you how Snoke dies too”

Ruin things for gatekeeper douchbags 2k18

[capriciousarsonist]

patrick.

[capriciousarsonist]

Forgot this important piece of information

[nagisakaworu]

well here’s an instance of the stupid catchphrase i forced on filbert actually adding meaning to something he says

[thebootydiaries]

[falseknees]

H-h-honk honk hooonk!

[vintar]

i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

this is extremely concerning and also very reassuring, thank you and please stop bringing pythons onto public transportation 

[reasonsmysoniscrying]

7yo, running in from outside: “Dad! Can I have all the left over taco meat?” Me: “No.” 7yo: “Oh great. Now I’ll NEVER trap that coyote!”

[foolishtrashman]

i walked two kilometers to hatch an egg and its a zubat this is why i cant be a parent i cant wait 9 months for a kid what if its a fucking zubat again

[blackexcellence101-deactivated2]

Wow, this is terrific. Side by side with The Force Awakens trailer and The Last Jedi.

[mixtapemasterjipc-deactivated20]

WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!