There is never an excuse for sexual assault

This is a blog for sexual assault survivors. I offer support, advice, and my own experience as a rape victim. No hatred will be tolerated here. This is a safe space for survivors.

[recoveringwithyou]

Somebody please get me this shirt gahh

[snorlax-and-co]

[vladtheunfollower]

“An abuser tries to keep everybody—his partner, his therapist, his friends and relatives—focused on how he feels, so that they won’t focus on how he thinks, perhaps because on some level he is aware that if you grasp the true nature of his problem, you will begin to escape his domination.”

— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

[recoveringwithyou]

This is true my abuser did this.

[sergle]

[closet-keys]

It really is so insulting the way people act like survivors should be able to sever all emotional connection and empathy from their partner the second they behave abusively, because it’s not how human emotions/attachment works and it’s not how traumatic bonding works.

Instead of the “if a man ever did that to me I wouldn’t put up with that” ask yourself “what if someone I trusted completely, who was struggling with something serious in their life, who I lived with, harmed me and then apologized profusely and cried and promised they’d never do it again?” If you can picture immediately walking away from— not a hypothetical person— someone you trust right now if that situation happened, then you’re in the minority.

And also- when, after abuse, survivors DO walk away from friendships and relationships the first time there’s even the hint of harm, then people shame us for “black-and-white thinking” or “self-sabotage” and imply we’re damaged, but then if we don’t do that and get abused again then it’s our fault cause we should know better

Folks really need to have more empathy for how emotionally complex abuse is. It’s not the same kind of trauma as a stranger assaulting you on the street. It’s someone who will cry after they hurt you and it will take months or years to realize that wasn’t about actual remorse but was so you felt selfish if you ever complained about their treatment of you and so you would comfort them and swallow your own pain.

It is not survivors’ fault for being compassionate or not compassionate enough or too forgiving or not forgiving enough— it’s abusers’ fault for abusing. There is no “you should have___” because I guarantee somewhere a survivor tried that exact thing and it didn’t save them. There is no way to win in a dynamic where someone has control over you.

It doesn’t matter what you think you would do, because when you’re in it, it doesn’t feel like “I’m being abused” it feels like “I’m the only one who can help this extremely troubled but ultimately well-meaning person who wants to be better” and the latter feeling is much harder to just walk away from than you’d ever imagine

[jessicaamay]

[jessicaamay]

[crps-chronicpain-ptsd]

It is becoming harder to calm my heart .

Chronic pain problems •

[recoveringwithyou]

The same man who raped and strangled me among other things... is also a racist but this “savage” knew that already 😡 😡 😡

Man pleads guilty to attack with rusty rake

A young Kingston man who, for no comprehensible reason, used a rusty rake to attack and injure a door-to-door Cogeco salesman about 18 month

[recoveringwithyou]

I wish I could have went into more detail for you all.

Thank you to the followers who have stuck with me through the years all 1,600 plus of you, I’ve lost some but the ones who have stayed I appreciate you.

On top of him doing all of this to me he also called me a “savage” due to my Native ancestory. And gaslighted me pretty badly.

[recoveringwithyou]

This is what I’ve been dealing with while I’ve been gone, I am the woman in the article they forgot a few charges and left some details out I am breaking my silence.

Make this go viral.

Amherstview man charged with six-month-long domestic, sexual assault

An Amherstview man has been charged by Kingston Police after they investigated a six-month relationship that they said included threats and

[two-mimir-deactivated20200617]

[recoveringwithyou]

I believe you.

[recoveringwithyou]

Where do I even start...

[feministtalks]

[ptsdconfessions]

uh,,, i just saw your post about workbooks and was wondering if you still had any

Hello! I do still have the workbook available but I’m no longer sending out physical copies as it was getting too expensive. You can find and download the online versions here:

Version with journal section at end  

Regular version   

-Winter xx

[ptsdconfessions]

Send in your confessions here, please specify they are confessions.