reddpeste

occasionally catlike, occasional houndposting, often being down bad for my lovers. // 23, MDNI // Art tagged under #ReddPeste

[sycamorality]

op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[filmphotofranz]

[mikus-sleepiest]

[systlin]

So. Tyr, my dog, is a Great Pyraneese. This is important because this breed is known to be smart. Not in the way a German Shepherd or border Collie is smart, and wanting to please a human; Great Pyrs are independent minded and bred to Be Management of herds when a human might not be around.

Anyway.

It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.

My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.

"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."

Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.

"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.

Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.

I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.

"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.

"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.

Anyway my dog is a criminal escape artist and we have to baby proof the fucking windows now

[systlin]

My mom thinks this is the funniest thing ever because I, Age 11, discovered I could remove window screens to climb out my window and climb the house roof to stargaze, which nearly gave her a heart attack when she looked out a window when hearing a noise and saw her fucking child squirreling around on the roof.

"Like mother like daughter" she texted me and then about 20 laughing emojis in a row

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[thepittmemes]

[reddpeste]

Sapphic Rock Naga | ReddPeste

Sapphic Rock Naga by ReddPeste on Patreon. Join ReddPeste's community for exclusive content and updates.

Do you ever lay in bed, half asleep, then get struck in the back of the eyelids by Apollo in the form of an artistic idea beyond your skill level? This was one of them. (FREE)

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[liquidstar]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

[crowshira]

[diangelo-supporter10]

[secretlyfem]

Carrot and stick?

Wrong. Vibrator and shock collar.

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[snuffedstuffiepups]

how do you tell a girl you wanna burrow through her ribcage and curl around her heart and fall asleep in the bliss of its rhythmic beating against your body surrounded by her warmth and never ever leave without sounding obsessive and weird and clingy?

[fraternum-momentum]

messy eater

[omagpies]

things to say when you are not a place of honor

original text by @inkskinned can be found here. I’ve made a comic with it before but wanted to make a mbart version for a while

[iconicname]

silly werewolf transformation

[thirdfinger]

step 1: make girl laugh step 2: make girl moan

[cowpokeprose]

The preacher may never marry us and my mama may never know you but I can kiss you over a flask of whiskey and dance with you under the stars and if that isn’t marriage I’m not sure what else God is looking for. 

[teaboot]

My problem is that I have a deep admiration and respect for ingenuity, dedication, and commitment to the bit.

Which is ultimately benign, until I am placed in the role of a caregiver or general authority over a person or animal

Because I can't just catch someone in the midst of pulling off a ridiculous, clever, determined and absurd little scheme and just act like I'm not impressed

It wouldn't be honest or fair

And so, it appears that if anything with free will is placed in my care long enough, they invariably learn that if they can get me to laugh without hurting anybody or risking their health then they can pretty much get away with almost anything

Which has resulted in some very funny events