K I have no idea if you'll see this, I literally just looked for a relationship advice blog and I am a sapphic aroace so you seem like the perfect person to get it from.
There's this girl in my circle, we're both from Christian backgrounds but I'm getting bi vibes and she's super cool, I would absolutely ask her out if not for the dear of outing myself. However we've gone on a few coffee "dates" and we have another one tomorrow. If I bring her flowers, do you think I both open the door to ask if it's a date date while still having plausible deniability? Please Tumblr stranger I need help 😭
Fair warning: I have absolutely zero credentials and created this blog mostly as a joke :/
That being said, I’d say flowers seem like a good move. They’re generally considered to be more romantic/relationship-esque, so if that’s wanted, it’ll probably be recognized as such. If it’s questioned and she doesn’t seem receptive, you can just say you thought she’d like them. (Bonus points if you include lavender, violets, or any other queer associated flower. Most people probably wouldn’t notice, especially those not in community, but it’d be cool if she did)
I’d also say figure out how she thinks about queer people in general if possible (you could mention a queer friend/family member to test the waters (I’ve had someone make up a fake gay sister to see if I was cool with it)), as that makes outing yourself much less of an unknown risk.
Take all this with a grain of salt, my idea of subtlety when seeing if my partner was interested involved planning our future house together.
