Remény Writes

welcome to my fics, also seen on AQ. main=paperdollsandhyperbole AO3 = Remeny To read Roses from the beginning copy and paste this! https://remeny-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/Roses/chrono

[rpdrficexchange]

Is the fic exchange going to happen this year? I know of some other authors who asked about doing a fic exchange for AQ.

If people are interested, I will host another fic exchange this year. Posting this publicly so that any followers or writers interested, and if a decent number of people are, I’ll have the applications up by this weekend. ^_^

[remeny-writes]

I would LOVE to participate in the exchange again this year!! I missed last year due to moving and a 2 year writer's block from hell but I'm writing again finally (thank you nanowrimo) and would love to challenge myself again. I was even featured on the RPDR cringe subreddit which I count is highest honour that I pissed people off enough about merry Christmasish that they felt they needed to take time out of their day to write anonymous comments about it LOL.

[remeny-writes]

New chapters

So I'm finally back back back back back again! After two long years of writer's block, I am using this year's nanowrimo (or national novel writing month) to hopefully finish the mammoth work of fiction that is roses are red violets are adored. With these 50k words that will make roses a quarter of a million words long! I wanted to thank the people who have been with me on this crazy ride. Reading it on AO3 is probably the easiest so here is a link to Roses are red, Violets are Adored. I welcome feedback either on A03 or here.

[artificialqueens]

just a request for any vatya cause the thirst is real

[remeny-writes]

Shameless self promo but you could read these two stories, prequel is in the works for the 3 part series.

Love n glitter,

Remeny

[shotbyhazelg]

The most valuable chart…

[i-am-not-a-guardian-deactivated]

if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills.

[artificialqueens]

Hi I would die for a violet hurt/comfort fix, someone please take one for the team

[remeny-writes]

Um....hi! Lol check out my fic if you like SUUUUPER long fics! The link in my bio will send you to the chronological order or you can search my username Remeny on A03! The Fic that is hurt/Comfort is called Roses are Red, Violets are Adored. I write mostly hurt/Comfort fics so if you like them, check me out!

You may feel very attacked from reading my fics BC I'm trash.

[alexangery]

how to trick writers into giving you more fanfic to read

[dement009]

Works for comics and art as well.

[whatthevoid]

…this has the opposite effect.

[honestsister]

instead try; I love you *generic keysmash* h OW DA RE *lavish praise* *inside fandom joke* *quote fave part* *more generic keysmashing*

[alexangery]

you. i like you

[ixhadbadxdays]

Also, the favorites: 1) DID I SAY YOU COULD HURT ME LIKE THIS?!?;?!; 2) DONT HURT MY BABY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 3) why must you hurt me this way 4) WHY IS THIS A CLIFFHANGER?! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I NEED TO KNOW 5) This made me cry/squeal/giggle/wake the dead with my laughter 6) I almost woke my family laughing at ___ part 7) I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED THIS AU UNTIL YOU POSTED THIS 8) this is so cute I’m dying 9) and (writer’s name) strikes again! 10) I had to reread this bc it’s so good and I love it 11) I wish I could like/heart/kudos this more than once Like, seriously guys, freak out with us and you’ll have us wrapped around your little fingers.

[coffin-bird]

This is so true! A lot of the time, I get stuck in a writer’s hole. But whenever I get a comment like the above ones, it makes me want to write more!

[awkwardyunyoo22]

GUYS! THIS IS CHEATCODE FOR MORE!!! SIGNAL BOOST 😱✨😂

[remeny-writes]

This! As some of you know I work on multiple fics (most on my AO3) and when I get a comment on a particular one, I tend to write more of that one than the others. So if you like one of my Fanfictions better than the others then you know what to do.

[sheikofthesheikah]

Injury angst for writing dummies.

Hospitals and injury are always such a staple of angst fics, but 9 times out of 10 the author has clearly never been in an emergency situation and the scenes always come off as over-dramatized and completely unbelievable. So here’s a crash course on hospital life and emergencies for people who want authenticity. By someone who spends 85% of her time in a hospital. 

Emergency Departments/Ambulances.

Lights and sirens are usually reserved for the actively dying. Unless the person is receiving CPR, having a prolonged seizure or has an obstructed airway, the ambulance is not going to have lights and sirens blaring. I have, however, seen an ambulance throw their lights on just so they can get back to the station faster once. Fuckers made me late for work.

Defibrillators don’t do that. You know, that. People don’t go flying off the bed when they get shocked. But we do scream “CLEAR!!” before we shock the patient. Makes it fun.

A broken limb, surprisingly, is not a high priority for emergency personnel. Not unless said break is open and displaced enough that blood isn’t reaching a limb. And usually when it’s that bad, the person will have other injuries to go with it.

Visitors are not generally allowed to visit a patient who is unstable. Not even family. It’s far more likely that the family will be stuck outside settling in for a good long wait until they get the bad news or the marginally better news. Unless it’s a child. But if you’re writing dying children in your fics for the angst factor, I question you sir. 

Unstable means ‘not quite actively dying, but getting there’. A broken limb, again, is not unstable. Someone who came off their motorbike at 40mph and threw themselves across the bitumen is. 

CPR is rarely successful if someone needs it outside of hospital. And it is hard fucking work. Unless someone nearby is certified in advanced life support, someone who needs CPR is probably halfway down the golden tunnel moving towards the light. 

Emergency personnel ask questions. A lot of questions. So many fucking questions. They don’t just take their next victim and rush off behind the big white doors into the unknown with just a vague ‘WHAT HAPPENED? SHE HIT HER HEAD?? DON’T WORRY SIR!!!’ They’re going to get the sir and ask him so many questions about what happened that he’s going to go cross eyed. And then he’s going to have to repeat it to the doctor. And then the ICU consultant. And the police probably. 

In a trauma situation (aka multiple injuries (aka car accident, motorbike accident, falling off a cliff, falling off a horse, having a piano land on their head idfk you get the idea)) there are a lot of people involved. A lot. I can’t be fucked to go through them all, but there’s at least four doctors, the paramedics, five or six nurses, radiographers, surgeons, ICU consultants, students, and any other specialities that might be needed (midwives, neonatal transport, critical retrieval teams etc etc etc). There ain’t gonna be room to breathe almost when it comes to keeping someone alive.

Emergency departments are a life of their own so you should probably do a bit of research into what might happen to your character if they present there with some kind of illness or injury before you go ahead and scribble it down.

Wards

Nurses run them. No seriously. The patient will see the doctor for five minutes in their day. The nurse will do the rest. Unless the patient codes.

There is never a defibrillator just sitting nearby if a patient codes. 

And we don’t defibrillate every single code. 

If the code does need a defibrillator, they need CPR.

And ICU. 

They shouldn’t be on a ward. 

There are other people who work there too. Physiotherapists will always see patients who need rehab after breaking a limb. Usually legs, because they need to be shown how to use crutches properly.

Wards are separated depending on what the patient’s needs are. Hospitals aren’t separated into ICU, ER and Ward. It’s usually orthopaedic, cardiac, neuro, paediatric, maternity, neonatal ICU, gen surg, short stay surg, geriatric, palliative…figure out where your patient is gonna be. The care they get is different depending on where they are.

ICU.

A patient is only in ICU if they’re at risk of active dying. I swear to god if I see one more broken limb going into ICU in a fic to rank up the angst factor I’m gonna shit. It doesn’t happen. Stop being lazy. 

Tubed patients can be awake. True story. They can communicate too. Usually by writing, since having a dirty great tube down the windpipe tends to impede ones ability to talk. 

The nursing care is 1:1 on an intubated patient. Awake or not, the nurse is not gonna leave that room. No, not even to give your stricken lover a chance to say goodbye in private. There is no privacy. Honestly, that nurse has probably seen it all before anyway. 

ICU isn’t just reserved for intubated patients either. Major surgeries sometimes go here post-op to get intensive care before they’re stepped down. And by major I mean like, grandpa joe is getting his bladder removed because it’s full of cancer. 

Palliative patients and patients who are terminal will not go to ICU. Not unless they became terminally ill after hitting ICU. Usually those ones are unexpected deaths. Someone suffering from a long, slow, gradually life draining illness will probably go to a general ward for end of life care. They don’t need the kind of intensive care an ICU provides because…well..they’re not going to get it??

Operations.

No one gets rushed to theatre for a broken limb. Please stop. They can wait for several days before they get surgery on it. 

Honestly? No one gets ‘rushed’ to theatre at all. Not unless they are, again, actively dying, and surgery is needed to stop them from actively dying. 

Except emergency caesarians. Them babies will always get priority over old mate with the broken hip. A kid stuck in a birth canal and at risk of death by pelvis is a tad more urgent than a gall stone. And the midwives will run. I’ve never seen anyone run as fast as a midwife with a labouring woman on the bed heading to theatres for an emergency caesar.

Surgery doesn’t take as long as you think it does. Repairing a broken limb? Two hours, maybe three tops. Including time spent in recovery. Burst appendix? Half an hour on the table max, maybe an hour in recovery. Caesarian? Forty minutes or so. Major surgeries (organs like kidneys, liver and heart transplants, and major bowel surgeries) take longer. 

You’re never going to see the theatre nurses. Ever. They’re like their own little community of fabled myth who get to come to work in their sweatpants and only deal with unconscious people. It’s the ward nurse who does the pick up and drop offs. 

Anyway there’s probably way, way more that I’m forgetting to add but this is getting too long to keep writing shit. The moral of the story is do some research so you don’t look like an idiot when you’re writing your characters getting injured or having to be in hospital. It’s not Greys Anatomy in the real world and the angst isn’t going to be any more intense just because you’re writing shit like it is. 

Peace up.

[remeny-writes]

If you need any help writing or fact checking medical shit or need a patient's perspective, I live for that shit! Hit a bitch up! I'm generally around.

[entirelytookeen]

literally the best part about ficwriting is the moment where you stop, smile to yourself, and think: “oh, man, they are going to kill me for this.” and then get back to work.

[remeny-writes]

Roses are red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/Katlaska/Group fic

Chapter 181

Adore’s POV

I squirmed down in bed deeper, I forgot where I was until I opened my eyes to see the pale purple walls of Vi and Lucy’s hospital room. I heard giggling as I rolled and stretched out, all my muscles were sore from shivering but it was 100 percent worth it when I saw Vi sitting up in bed, smiling. Their cheeks had some colour and they were actually eating something. They were so damn beautiful. They threw their head back and laughed at something Lucy just said.

They looked over at me, I loved how the corners of their deep-set eyes crinkled when they smiled. “I see you over there! How ya feeling?”

“I’m good.” I stretched again, letting out a little groan. I couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, it was so nice to see them awake after all we had been through today. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks to you. Still a bit tired.”

“I heard you were quite the hero Danny, I’m sorry I missed the action but Vi I’m glad you’re feeling better of course!”

I plodded over in my sock feet to give Vi a kiss. “You scared me so much today.” Their arms snaked around me and held me close, I was overcome with such strong emotion that I started sobbing into their shoulder. The images of their face after we were kissing and they realized something was very wrong, when they grabbed their chest and I thought it was their heart, the feeling when they went completely slack in my arms, their head lolling to the side.

They cupped the back of my head in their hand, rubbing the stubble on it. “Shhh love. It’s ok! I’m ok!” They kissed my head, their breath hot, “please don’t cry Danny. I’m sorry for scaring you, I’m so sorry. Please stop crying,” they begged. I sniffled as Mom put a box of tissues on Vi’s lap, they mopped up my face. They grinned at me, “you’re a mess!”

“I’m sorry!”

Vi opened their mouth but their phone ringing interrupted them, Mom tossed the phone onto their lap like it was a hot potato.

“Hello?” Vi’s brow knitted together with worry, I could hear someone screaming on the other end, Vi pulled the phone away from their ear. “Slow down Pearl, I can’t understand you! Is that her yelling? Just put her on the phone.” They pulled the phone away and covered the receiver and mouthed, “it’s Fame.”

I pulled their hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. We could still hear Fame screaming.

My Mom looked around awkwardly for a moment and then announced, “I feel like going down to Starbucks, wanna come with me Luce?”

“Uh yeah, sounds good. Let’s take my chair, faster get away!” Lucy quipped, flipping herself into her chair and plopping a hat on her bald head, “Why don’t we stop and get my friend Fred on the way by!”

“Sounds good!” Mom said, giving me a wink before her and Lucy split.

“Hey sweetie,” Vi said in a completely foreign syrupy sweet voice, sing-songing, “you need to calm down ok? Take a few deep breaths and tell me about what happened. Can I put you on speaker, I have an IV in my hand and holding the phone kinda hurts. It’s just Danny and I.” They listened for a minute before clicking the speakerphone button.

Fame’s ragged breathing and sobbing came through the phone, she was hysterical, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry Deena! I’m so sorry!”

Who the fuck was Deena?

“I swear I’m not crazy. I’m not! I’m sorry, you just surprised me is all! I’m not crazy!” Fame was sputtering and wheezing and coughing.

“FAME? FAME! Please talk to me,” Vi begged, “what happened?”

An alarm went off and at first I thought it was Violet’s but they didn’t have any monitors. It was from the other end of the line.

“Ok! Ok! Ok! I’m ok!” Fame repeated, terror in her voice as she tried frantically to calm herself.

“Fame, take some deep breaths with me. In for 4 and out for 8. In 1...2...3...4 ok now out 8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1. Good, that was good! Again.” Violet continued patiently for a good 5 minutes, sending worried looks my way. Fame went from crying so hard that any time she tried to speak it came out as a string of high pitched drawn together unintelligible words to softly sobbing. Telling them what happened in the parking lot when she was attacked, being afraid to come to the hospital, talking to the police and finding out that there wasn’t much they could do but Vi and I couldn’t keep our mouths shut at Fame’s choice to not press charges.

“That’s not right Fame!” I practically shouted in my outrage.

“No, it’s not Fame!” Vi said with knitted brows, squeezing my hand. “So was that what made you so upset? Is this Deena one of the police officers?”

“No, she’s a counselor.” A voice that sounded like Phi Phi’s came through, “sorry Fame, I was trying to get back here to tell you. They just wanna make sure you’re ok. It’s some policy from the hospital.”

“I’m not crazy.” Fame repeated.

“Oh I know you aren’t hun,” a young sounding girl reassured Fame, “like this gentleman here said, it’s Hospital policy that after you’ve been a victim of an act of violence,” Vi winced at the words, squeezing my hand even tighter. My stomach flip-flopped at the image in my head of someone attacking Fame. “We just want to make sure that you have someone to talk to and some type of aftercare plan.”

“I’m sorry I threw a mug at you.”

Vi let out a little giggle and clapped a hand over their mouth to try to stifle it, “Fame! You threw a mug at someone?”

"Yeah, she surprised me and then I didn't know why she was here and I just got...I got angry. I never get angry." Fame whimpered, sounding like the thought of her getting angry was completely foreign. Well the more I thought about it, the more I realized it WAS a foreign concept, I had never even seen the sweet queen get frustrated. Not even when they lost all her luggage including her drag bags in Germany and there was 4 hours til the show because of flight delays. Fame just quickly bought some new clothes and undergarments and thankfully she hadn't checked her makeup. She even joked that it was a good challenge when she rushed back in with an hour and a half to paint instead of her customary 3 to 4 hours.

"It's common for victims to have mood changes and feel jumpy or uneasy." There was a rustling of paper, "I brought you some pamphlets on what to expect after experiencing a trauma."

There was a rustling of a curtain, "hi I'm Dr Fisher."

Fame sighed, her voice was tired as she announced, "gotta go Vi and Adore. We'll call you in a bit. Thanks for helping me with the breathing thing Wifey."

"We'll talk to you soon, please take it easy." There was a click and Vi tapped the off button on their phone. "Poor Fame," they whispered with a frown, looking down at their lap. "I feel just horrible."

"Me too." I sat beside them on the bed and wrapped my arms around them, both in our own little world of thoughts.

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

protective sentence starters

as requested. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

“Hands off!”

“What do you think you’re doing to him/her/them?”

“I’ll never let you go.” / “Don’t ever let me go.”

“Don’t ever leave my sight again.”

“I got your back.”

“Where are you going? It’s not safe out there!”

“Do you trust me?”

“Be more careful next time. I don’t want to bandage you up again.”

“Hey, it’s cold outside. At least wear a jacket.”

“I’d die for you.”

“You’ll back off if you know what’s good for you.”

“Get behind me NOW.”

“Here, I have an extra weapon.”

“Duck, you idiot!”

“Go on without me.”

“Well what did you expect would happen while you’re walking alone at night? Come on, let’s get you away from that creep.”

“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a gun/knife/fist/weapon and I’m not afraid to use it.”

“You can stop hugging me now.”

“You scared the shit out of me. I’m never going to stop hugging you.”

“Quit babying me! I can protect myself.”

“I’ll always be there to save you.” / “I know you’ll always be there to save me.”

“If you even THINK about touching him/her/them, I’ll kill you.”

“[choked up] I thought I lost you.” / “[choked up] I never thought I’d see you again.”

[wordsnstuff]

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

A Study In Physical Injury

Comas

Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs

Broken Bones

Burns

Unconsciousness & Head Trauma

Blood Loss

Stab Wounds

Pain & Shock

All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)

Writing Specific Characters

Portraying a kleptomaniac.

Playing a character with cancer.

How to portray a power driven character.

Playing the manipulative character.

Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.

Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.

Writing a character who lost someone important.

Playing the bullies.

Portraying the drug dealer.

Playing a rebellious character.

How to portray a sociopath.

How to write characters with PTSD.

Playing characters with memory loss.

Playing a pyromaniac.

How to write a mute character.

How to write a character with an OCD.

How to play a stoner.

Playing a character with an eating disorder.

Portraying a character who is anti-social.

Portraying a character who is depressed.

How to portray someone with dyslexia.

How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.

Portraying a character with severe depression.

How to play a serial killer.

Writing insane characters.

Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.

Tips on writing a drug addict.

How to write a character with HPD.

Writing a character with Nymphomania.

Writing a character with schizophrenia.

Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Writing a character with depression.

Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.

Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.

How to play a victim of rape.

How to play a mentally ill/insane character.

Writing a character who self-harms.

Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.

How to play the stalker.

How to portray a character high on cocaine.

Playing a character with ADHD.

How to play a sexual assault victim.

Writing a compulsive gambler.

Playing a character who is faking a disorder.

Playing a prisoner.

Portraying an emotionally detached character.

How to play a character with social anxiety.

Portraying a character who is high.

Portraying characters who have secrets.

Portraying a recovering alcoholic.

Portraying a sex addict.

How to play someone creepy.

Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.

Playing a character under the influence of drugs.

Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.

Illegal Activity

Examining Mob Mentality

How Street Gangs Work

Domestic Abuse

Torture

Assault

Murder

Terrorism

Internet Fraud

Cyberwarfare

Computer Viruses

Corporate Crime

Political Corruption

Drug Trafficking

Human Trafficking

Sex Trafficking

Illegal Immigration

Contemporary Slavery 

Black Market Prices & Profits

AK-47 prices on the black market

Bribes

Computer Hackers and Online Fraud

Contract Killing

Exotic Animals

Fake Diplomas

Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents

Human Smuggling Fees

Human Traffickers Prices

Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices

Prostitution Prices

Cocaine Prices

Ecstasy Pills Prices

Heroin Prices

Marijuana Prices

Meth Prices

Earnings From Illegal Jobs

Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk

Forensics

arson

Asphyxia

Blood Analysis

Book Review

Cause & Manner of Death

Chemistry/Physics

Computers/Cell Phones/Electronics

Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd

Corpse Identification

Corpse Location

Crime and Science Radio

crime lab

Crime Scene

Cults and Religions

DNA

Document Examination

Fingerprints/Patterned Evidence

Firearms Analysis

Forensic Anthropology

Forensic Art

Forensic Dentistry

Forensic History

Forensic Psychiatry

General Forensics

Guest Blogger

High Tech Forensics

Interesting Cases

Interesting Places

Interviews

Medical History

Medical Issues

Misc

Multiple Murderers

On This Day

Poisons & Drugs

Police Procedure

Q&A

serial killers

Space Program

Stupid Criminals

Theft

Time of Death

Toxicology

Trauma

[artificialqueens]

Does anyone have any recommendations for super long fanfictions, Any pairing I just need something that will take up all my time and keep me occupied ~~~thanks

[remeny-writes]

Is 191+k and counting long enough? Hehehe shameless self promo! It's a bit easier to read on AO3 by clicking here but you can also read it in Chrono on tumblr through the link in my bio!

Love n glitter,

Remény

PS I'm absolute trash!

[sizvideos]

Native Americans describe their feelings about Christopher Colombus in one word - watch the video

[remeny-writes]

Columbus was the first American terrorist. Fuck Columbus!

[rocket-sith]

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

[remeny-writes]

I dare ya!

Love n glitter,

Remény

[toinfinityandbeyonce-deactivate]

RECLAIMING MY TIME 

[finsngils-deactivated20210213]

This. Is. Drag.

[mayaangelique]

I AM LIVINGGGGI LOVE THIS

[remeny-writes]

Roses are red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/Katlaska/group fic)

As promised! Sorry I've been so neglectful of the story lately but now that my hallowe'en and Christmas fics are out of my system, I can get back to hopefully finish up Roses soon. I am working on an optional epilogue as well and sometimes even though I haven't finished writing the story, I know what's gonna happen so I write the epilogue for a bit.

If you are happening across my tumblr for the first time because of the fic exchange or just because then WELCOME! If you enjoy massively HUGE (192k+ words and still going) fics with angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, love and a lil sprinkle of paranormal phenomenon that is written with a lot of details, YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE. The easiest way to read Roses is to go here to my AO3!

Happy Christmas/Chanukkah/Yule/Kwanza/Holiday Monday to you and yours! Stay safe and remember, if you don't have supportive family, we get to make our own. You are valid. Your pronouns are important. Your sexuality is not up for debate. You are loved.

Love n Glitter,

Remény

Phi Phi’s POV

I love the post-show euphoria, fresh off a meet and greet with the best Phans anywhere. The feeling of contentment that you are living your dream. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything else, I hummed to myself as I quickly changed into some more comfortable clothes. I noticed my phone lit up as I pulled my makeup wipes out of my bag. I frowned as I read Pearl’s angry and mis-spelt text.

Pearl - U told Katya? Do yuo WANT me t kill you? She’s gona tell Alaska who can’t keep anythng from her bestie Sharon! And after I’m done killing you, FAME IS GOIN TO KLIL YOU!

I angrily typed in:

Me- Pearl! I didn’t tell ANYONE! I promised I wouldn’t!! I PROMISED! I wouldn’t do that to her! I have no idea what you are talking about!

Pearl - BULLSHIT! Katya texted me that she knew what happened and that Fame didn’t fall!

I jabbed in a response as I stood up and stalked around the room, looking for the skinny Russian queen and her even skinnier Alien boyfriend, getting more livid by the moment.

Me- Did Katya SAY I told her?! Because she hasn’t even SPOKEN 2 words to me tonight!!

And then the three dancing dots appeared, knowing Pearl was formulating a much larger response to ream my ass out for something I didn’t do, I stalked out the side door to see if Katya was out smoking.

Sure enough, Katya was there with her head back mid-laugh while Alaska gazed at her annoyingly adoringly. They stopped when they saw me steaming from the ears in the doorway.

“Oh heeeyy Pheephs!” Alaska greeted me in an unnaturally high voice as she feigned innocence. “How ya doing?”

“Well...you see...I just got my ass handed to me by Pearl for something I didn’t do.” I spat out, punctuating my words by jabbing the cell phone clenched in my hand in their direction.

“Listen, Jeremi…” Katya started, putting her hands out.

“Oh DON’T ‘listen Jeremi’ me! I promised I wouldn’t say anything and now Pearl is PISSED at me! Even if I didn’t say anything, you KNOW how Pearl is. She’s gonna fucking close up again and it’s going to be YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!”

“JER STOP!!” I heard Alaska plead and felt a hand on my shoulder. Alaska’s hand. My hand was clenched around a fistful of a scared looking Katya’s Tshirt. How did I get to this? I let it go and stumbled backwards, landing on my ass and putting my face in my hands and bursting into loud, messy tears. My phone clattering to the ground. I stiffened momentarily when Alaska wrapped her arm around me, sitting beside me. I felt Katya sit on the other side of me, placing my phone on my leg.

“I...I’m sorry Kat.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok. We are all going to be ok! Fame too.” Katya murmured, “I’m going to text Pearl now, I’ll get this all straightened out, I promise.” Katya frantically started tapping away with her thumbs.

I nodded mutely. I can’t believe I lost my temper like that. All this stuff with Fame and Pearl was digging up the rage that bubbled barely under the surface some days. Usually, aside from bitchy comments, I was able to keep my shit in check but I was so damn tired, which totally didn't help with my shoddy impulse control. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, keeping my eyes closed but letting my hands fall into my lap.

“Phi Phi come here.” Alaska said, trying to pull me towards her chest. “I said come here you. You’re shaking!” Alaska fretted, pulling her sweater off and draping it over my shoulders, she wiggled closer to me and pulled my stiff body in. I finally relented, putting my head on her shoulder and leaning into her. I started crying again, I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. Kat was going to sort it out. Pearl has to forgive me. I didn’t DO anything!

Katya reached over and linked her arm with mine. Her phone dinged and it made me jump. Then my phone dinged making all three of us huddled together jump.

Pearl - It seems I’ve been fucking misinformed. Sorry Pheefs! I really am. Can you please swear the Russian and the Alien to secrecy? Tell them to keep it quiet if they don’t wish to die a slow and painful death from evisceration with a rusty spoon wielded by one pissed off drag queen.

I burst out with a little giggle and typed in

Me - Gee thanks so much for that mental image lol I’ll tell them. How’s Fame? Are you ok?

Pearl - You’re welcome! Police came, were absolutely no help, I’ll explain it all later. Fame’s conked out, they gave her some pain meds and had to give her anti-anxiety meds because the police got her all riled up. I’m tired but fine. Just remembering shit I don’t really want to.

Me - I will get a ride over there after I ditch the Russian and Alien and then you can go back to the hotel and have a rest. Did they say if she’d be released or admitted tonight yet?

Pearl - They haven’t said anything!! It’s driving me fucking bonkers! You don’t have to come over, you worked tonight, I just sat here. I’ll be fine although I may sneak out to have a smoke but with my luck, if I did, that would be when the Dr would fucking come in so I better stay here. It can’t be that bad because the MRI was done HOURS ago, if it was bad, they’d be in here.

Me - too bad, I’ll be there in 15, you’re stuck with me. Muah hah hah ha! Maybe the Dr will come in while I’m on my way?!

Pearl - LOL you are something Pheefs, ever the optimist! If you insist on coming (and you REALLY don’t have to) can you bring me a phone charger if you have one in your drag bag please? And I’m sorry again, I feel like they tricked me. I will take care of Katya, just tell them NOT to tell anyone, be VERY clear you mean ANYONE and specifically say that includes Sharon!

Me - I will. I’ll see you soon. It’s ok, I would be mad too, I understand. I’m just glad your wrath will be directed at them not me anymore! Lol!

I put my phone face down on my knee and looked from one queen to the other. “Ok, I have been told to tell you,” I said calmly and slowly, “that if you tell ANYONE what you know, that Pearl will disembowel you with a rusty spoon.” They both made squidgy faces as I turned to point my finger into Alaska’s chest, “and she said to specifically say that ANYONE includes Sharon fucking Needles! But tell abso-fucking-lutely no one if you wish to keep Pearl from going all homicidal homo on your asses.”

Katya let out a wheezy bark of laughter. “Sorry! Ha homicidal homo...that’s a good one Pheefs!” Alaska started laughing too and I joined in.

After a few minutes of us cackling, Alaska gave me a little squeeze and let go. “Are you coming back with us? I’m going to order an uber or something.”

“No, I’ll get one on my own, I’m gonna go relieve Pearl for a little bit so she can have a cigarette, maybe convince her to go back to the hotel. She sounds like she’s climbing the walls over there.”

“We could come with you and keep you guys company? How’s Fame doing?” Katya offered.

I shook my head, shrugging off Alaska’s sweater and trying to give it to her, she wouldn’t let me though and draped it over my shoulders again. “No, I’ll go by myself, I’m sure they are just in a little tiny room. Pearl said Fame was sleeping anyway so I don’t think we should wake her, especially if she has the good drugs in her system and isn’t in as much pain.” I said with a little chuckle.

“At least I’m glad she’s resting now.” Katya said, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry that Pearl got mad at you, I should have used my brain."

"It's ok, it's just...Pearl has grown so much, I'd hate to see her close in on herself again. She's gonna need to be able to talk with people, especially if something...uh...happens with Violet." A pang of pain went through my heart, I know that Vi's tests came back that they were beating this beast but I couldn't help worrying. Cancer is so damn unpredictable.

"Hey, hey, Vi's gonna be ok." Katya reassured me, rubbing my back. I just nodded.

Alaska ordered us both ubers, I grabbed my wallet and charger from my drag bag and sent the rest back with them. There was no reason to lug 15 pounds of makeup and pads to the hospital and back.

The hospital was pretty big but the uber driver dropped me off at the emergency entrance, I hesitated outside the nurses window. What was Fame's last name again? I couldn't very well walk up and say I was here to see a patient named Kurtis. I was just about to text Pearl when I remembered.

I pulled the curtain back slowly, peeking in but not stepping in yet. Pearl was dozing in the armchair. I sucked in a small gasp of air at the sight of Fame. Something about seeing her in a hospital bed, in a gown with an IV, her head lolled to the side. A giant oxygen mask obscured half of her face, large purple circles under her eyes. She was pale which made the purple and blue bruises on her face stand out in stark contrast. It somehow made what happened to her more real and I felt a surge of anger at the assholes that did that to her.

I paused in the doorway, I didn't want to make any noise. Pearl grimaced and ground her teeth in her sleep, I winced at the grating noise. At least she was getting a few minutes of sleep in. I could hear a gurney rolling down the hall and took a few tiny steps into the room. Pearl's head snapped up, eyes wide as she took in her surroundings until she saw me, she quickly pasted on a smile but it didn't reach her haunted looking eyes.

I quickly walked over as she stood up, I pulled her into a hug and couldn't help but notice the tremble running through her body and into mine. "Hey there you." I said softly.

"Hey," she whispered and cleared her throat.

"Y'ok?" It was a stupid question and I immediately kicked myself for it, "sorry dumb question."

She sank back down in the chair, lacing her fingers together and staring down at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. I crouched down, she momentarily flinched when I put my hand on her knee but quickly recovered. "I'm not ok Pheefs, I'm far from ok. I'm so tired." She whispered brokenly, bowing her head down. I knew she didn't mean that she was physically tired, although I'm sure she was, I knew in my gut that she meant that bone crushing emotional weariness that comes from the energy it takes to keep going, to keep the walls up to protect your heart at all costs, even from yourself at times.

"I know you are babe, I'm so proud you can admit that you aren't ok, that you feel safe enough and trust me enough to admit that means the world to me." My voice cracked with emotion.

She looked up at me, tears were in her eyes but they didn't fall as she said seriously, "I will always trust you Jer. You are one of my very best friends and I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks with everything that has happened."

"What happened with the police?" If I thought I was mad before, it was nothing to the rage I felt after she told me, my hands balled into fists. I couldn't blame Fame for not wanting to bother reliving it but it made me furious that the fuckheads who did this to her wouldn't pay! I didn't get much of a chance to respond since Fame stirred and let out a little whimper.

Pearl hopped up and dashed around me and pulled Fame's hand into hers. "It's ok Kurtis, I'm here. You're safe. I got you Kurt. No leave that on please." Pearl replaced the mask back on Fame's face and captured both of Fame's hands in hers to prevent her from doing it again. It took Fame a few moments to wake up enough to stop struggling to pull her hands from Pearl's as Pearl continued to reassure her that she was safe. Fame seemed to calm, closing her eyes again.

"I'm going to go see if I can get an update." I couldn't just sit there doing nothing. I went out to the nurses desk, drumming my fingers on the countertop as I waited for someone to come by.

"Can I help you?" The nurse looked up from her stack of papers and then did a double take, she smiled, "hey, aren't you Phi Phi O'Hara?"

"Guilty as charged." I joked with a little grin back.

"Are you ok? I just got here and I'm playing catch up," she waved a hand at the stack of clipboards and paper-laden file folders, she frowned, "are you sick? What can I do?"

"I'm fine, Fame is here and she's not so fine. Pearl and I were wondering when we would get to talk to the Dr and if we could take her back to the hotel tonight."

"Oh Fame and Pearl are here too? I'm sorry Fame isn't well, I know the doctor just got here too, let me go check with her. I'll be right back." She rifled through the files for a minute til she found one that had Kurtis Dam-Mikelson on the front and took off to the back. She was gone for maybe 5 minutes, she came out with a troubled look on her face and I knew she had read what happened to Fame, I hoped she wouldn't tell anyone. "So Dr Fisher will be in in about 5 minutes, it's a safe bet you'll be able to take her home with you...well back to the hotel."

I smiled, "when you travel as much as we do, our home is each other instead of a place."

"Aww that's lovely. Ok well tell Fame I hope she feels better. I'm so sorry about what happened to her! Now, you might want to prepare her that a counsellor will probably want to talk to her before she goes, it's policy in cases of violent crimes. Oh I feel so bad!" She had tears in her eyes, "sorry, I'm not usually all emotional like this, I just feel like you guys are like...like friends...like I know you."

I echoed my statement from earlier that I had said to Pearly, "hey, it's ok to not be ok!" I gave her a lame little pat on the back and walked away. It wasn't that her words or display of emotion bothered me, I just wanted to get back to Fame and Pearly. I didn't know if they had eaten since the pizza this afternoon, I mean Fame was asleep but Pearl hadn't had more than half a piece of pizza all day that I had noticed. I doubted that she had left Fame's side to seek out food or water.

Well I thought Fame was asleep until I heard her raised voice, I wondered if the police had made their way back into the room. I pulled the curtain aside and ducked, narrowly avoiding my head coliding with the mug Fame had just thrown at a startled looking young woman with a hospital ID that said Deena Dale and then Psychologist Resident in smaller letters. She ducked and the mug shattered against the wall behind us.