You know what I think I am finally over this . Goodbye r/s tumblr
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@remuslupin1981
You know what I think I am finally over this . Goodbye r/s tumblr
Inside the Hungarian Cafe, Amsterdam ave nyc. by Gregory Muenzen
I am very very tired of people thinking that Sirius died because he left Grimmauld Place.
professorfabula:
There seems to be this fandom wide idea that his choice to go to the Ministry was reckless. That he was so desperate to be useful and so sick of being cooped up with nothing to do, that eventually he couldn’t fight it anymore and went to fight along with the other Order members, even though he’d been told again and again not to. And that that was what led to his death. And here I was thinking he died because he was in a fucking battle with Death Eaters. You know who else risked their lives that day? Literally everyone there. Everyone who showed up made the conscious choice to protect Harry and his friends, even at the cost of their own lives. Every member of the Order made the choice to protect anyone from Voldemort and his supporters. Any of them could have been hit with a Killing Curse, or fallen through the veil, or tripped down the damn benches and broken their neck. And they all knew it was a risk, but they rushed to the rescue anyway. Wow, what a bunch of reckless idiots! Except no, they were doing their damn jobs. What’s more, “dying in a battle against Death Eaters” (or “falling through a mysterious veil in the Chamber of Death”) wasn’t even what they were trying to protect Sirius from. He had to stay inside because the authorities were looking for him to deliver him to the Dementors. The Death Eaters knew about his disguise so there was nowhere he could be sure he wouldn’t be noticed. If he had lived, and then right after that been recognized and seized by the authorities, THEN you could say “told you so. You didn’t listen and what they said would happen, happened.” But. It. Didn’t. When he went to the Ministry he had no intention of hiding (from the Death Eaters at least. Maybe he would’ve hidden from others, but only if it didn’t stop him from contributing to the fight). And why should he? None of the others there managed to hide their identities. They basically made themselves future targets for Voldemort. They risked it, because it was the only right thing to do. Even if Sirius hadn’t been Harry’s godfather, or hadn’t cared about him at all. When you’re a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry fucking Potter and a bunch of other teenagers are under attack, and you have nowhere else you need to be, joining the fight is THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO. This is why it irritates (and confuses) me when Dumbledore says that Sirius was the kind of man who couldn’t sit idly by while others fought, and too old and too clever to let Snape’s taunts get to him. It implies that he went because he was made to feel useless, rather than because someone incredibly important to him needed help. This line of thinking can be expected from Harry, who is grieving and desperately searching for ways things could have been different, for someone or something to blame. For Dumbledore to humor that is honestly kind of bizarre to me? I get that he only said it because Harry brought it up first, but the way it was phrased made it sound like those were his reasons. Does anyone honestly think that’s how people work? I am 100% certain Sirius would have gone if he were free and content in his ideal home. It also made it sound like he was still under orders to stay inside. If that’s true, I’d very much like to know the rationale behind that. Why would Dumbledore value Sirius’ life more highly than the other Order members’? The only reason I can come up with is that maybe it was important to keep Harry happy? But obviously it’s way more important to keep Harry safe, and that’s what Sirius was doing. So I honestly can’t imagine a logical scenario where he was told to stay inside that night. It just makes no sense. So either Dumbledore had no problem with him going, and oddly didn’t make that clear in his conversation with Harry, or Sirius WAS still supposed to stay inside, in which case the Order needs to get their weird shit together. Long story short, saying that Sirius died because he was reckless enough to leave the house is like saying that someone who died in a car accident died because they placed too much importance on going to work.
Personally I think Dumblemumble wanted Sirius to stay out of the picture because Dumbledore doesn’t like people who challenge him. It’s not just that he was quick to blame Sirius’ death on his own supposed recklessness five minutes after he died, which is just in poor taste, and also tells me that Sirius didn’t mean much to Dumbledore either way; his death left him pretty cold. The fact that he phrased it so positively (“Sirius wouldn’t have idly stood by” etc.) just means Dumbledore is a gifted diplomat who knows how to phrase things in a way that make his argument impenetrable. The last thing he needed is for Harry to start thinking that Sirius’ way of approaching authority was an admirable thing Harry should try to imitate. But Dumbledore also would refuse to accept Sirius’ authority as godfather any number of times, for example when he assigned Snape to be Harry’s Occlumency mentor which very much was something Sirius was not okay with. However, it’s Sirius’ job to make those decisions. The only reason he couldn’t insist was because he was a convicted criminal in hiding, and Dumbledore was free of brushing his wishes aside, which is a disrespectful, mean and shockingly petty thing to do for somebody of Dumbledore’s standing.
Getting way back to 1981 when Sirius went to Azkaban pretty much solely because Dumbledore was called as witness and said, “Sirius was Secret Keeper” rather than “I was told Sirius was Secret Keeper but I don’t have a way of proving it and actually, James and Sirius tended to go off and do their own thing all the time,” I’m gonna go on a hunch and say that Sirius used to make a habit of question authority, and this is a pattern of Dumblemumble not being okay with that. He likes keeping Sirius out of the picture. As far as Dumbledore is concerned, Sirius is bad news. Sirius is a democrat where Dumbledore wants to be a monarch.
Additionally to that, I’m with those people who’ve pointed out that the Wizarding world has no concept of PTSD or depression being disease, so Dumbledore also neatly was at liberty of pointing at Sirius’ shows of discontent about being shoved aside and being treated like he wasn’t worth it, then calling that signs of a bad character. People like Molly and Snape were enthusiastic to jump on that wagon, of course. Molly, too, wants for Harry to stay passive and be nothing like Sirius, though to be fair to Molly, her motivation here is concern for his safety, and she sure does have a point when she wants Harry to be treated more like a child. So at this point the readers have two sympathetic characters telling us Sirius did wrong (the wise one and the wonderful warm motherly one), and then add Harry himself to the mix, feeling guilty and like he should have protected Sirius. The books give us pretty strong cues to tell us Sirius is reckless, but his behavior objectively says otherwise. (plus, his tendency to take action makes him a fantastic fanfic protagonist; just saying) In JKR’s writing, everything is always both a strength and a weakness. I’ve always been a fan of Sirius partly because if he was my friend, he’d come rushing into the Ministry to safe my ass, too, and I don’t know about you. But that’s a value I can really appreciate in a person.
*happy sigh of agreement*
There is a general fandom (and in-verse) trend of blaming Sirius for everything that happened to him, lol, as if he brought it all upon himself via irrational decisions, and it’s very annoying.
Also, on the subject of battling Death Eaters - Bellatrix could easily have been the most powerful and dangerous enemy in the room until Voldemort arrived. She’s already taken down a protegee Auror, and then there’s Sirius, who -
Basically one of my favorite things about the official Remus Lupin bio is that it mentioned how out of practice he was in the final battle, due to having been in hiding. It should be obvious, but I loved the reminder that being in practice really matters when it comes to magical duels - it was almost implied that Lupin (and Tonks, possibly) would have survived if they’d been in practice.
Sirius is about fourteen years out of practice at the time he dies. And hell, Bellatrix was locked away for just as long, but she was a good few years older and more powerful at the time she was imprisoned, may have been less effected by the Dementors than Sirius was due to her own nature (there’s that whole thing about evil wizards not being able to produce Patroni?), and post-Azkaban would likely have been in an environment much more conducive to getting back into dueling shape than Sirius was. (What was he going to do, practice spells with Lupin in the kitchen? Whereas I’m sure Voldemort wanted his right-hand woman as skilled as possible.)
So what we’ve essentially got is a skilled wizard who still basically held his own in a massive fight (it’s implied he beats at least one of the Death Eaters before dueling Bellatrix), who was there because the closest thing he has to a son’/brother/whatever is in mortal danger. and would have been somewhat less powerful than he was used to pre-Azkaban.
That’s what’s always struck me about him taunting Bellatrix - and that is one thing I will call stupid and rail against until the end of time, but still - I don’t think Sirius wanted to throw his life away. Even taking the complexities of his mental state into account, he desperately wanted to protect Harry and win the war, so I don’t think he went there looking to throw himself on someone’s sword, so to speak.
I think that he was probably very much the type of person to taunt someone in the middle of a duel during the First War when he was in peak for and had James guarding his back, say, and if he hadn’t been locked up an inactive for so long, it probably wouldn’t have ended there for him this time, either.
*sads*
(there’s that whole thing about evil wizards not being able to produce Patroni?)
Where’s that from? I haven’t heard of that. Is it in the books?
so I don’t think he went there looking to throw himself on someone’s sword, so to speak.
I wrote that story once. (not that I subscribe to the theory, though) I’ve never met anybody who thought that, although I think that it’s something worthy of taking into consideration just because there are a lot of grey areas between “suicidal” and “not suicidal”. Then again, my fic was German, very different fandom population, and I only got a lot of hate for proposing it. :p It was sad and hilarious both.
It’s a good point about the taunting, although I tend to look at taunting as a legitimate choice of fighting style. (I just returned from watching a soccer game. I take a a lot of inspiration from team sports when it comes to battle styles. Taunting your opponents until they lose control of their temper is a legitimate choice in a soccer game, too, but you better know what you’re doing) Taunting people is not a good idea if your own self-control is strained (which undoubtedly it is for Sirius at that point) and you’re out of practice, as you said. I agree that that’s probably how he used to fight when he was young and in control and self-confident. It’s almost certain that Sirius would have been a fantastic duelist before Azkaban from the fact that he’s one of the most powerful wizards of his generation (Animagus), clearly outgoing and on the athletic side (Quidditch) and unlike most other people, survived the war.
*aggressively agrees with trovia and rosalui*
what I really really love about Sirius, and which especially shows in OotP, is that he really seems to be one of the few (Order) characters who has the whole “thinking for yourself” thing down. I get the sense that if an Order member would go “well maybe Dumbledore is wrong about-” the immediate response would be “HOW DARE YOU QUESTION DUMBLEDORE???” And I’ll blame the members as much as DD for that, I suppose. I mean, I definitely understand the value of trust and discipline (and so does Sirius! He followed his orders, contrary to what fandom tells you, just not without question) but if you don’t listen to others’ input you risk missing out on some valuable advice. Like, I dunno, TELLING HARRY THE TRUTH LIKE SIRIUS SAID.
(god this series is bad for my blood pressure)
What confuses me, though, is what Rowling meant with all this. I’m mostly of the opinion that what an author MEANT doesn’t mean all that much if they didn’t actually WRITE it (unpopular opinion I know), but with Dumbledore… See, he gets so many of the lines that she clearly wrote just to explain to us what was going on. I think a lot of the shitty things he could theoretically be blamed for are mostly because Rowling made him such an important person in this world and just needed events to happen. On the other hand, it seems so obvious that he was discrediting Sirius when he talks about all his flaws, then mentions how it’s his (Dumbledore’s) own fault that Harry fell for Voldy’s trap by not telling the truth, AND THEN DOESN’T MENTION THAT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SIRIUS WAS ARGUING FOR. Like. This is how you make an entire fandom forget actual canon events and swallow the words spoken by a wise wizard character at the very end of the book.
As for the out of practice thing: oh man I loved reading that on Pottermore! (er… not that I was glad Remus died bc of it but you get me lol) My headcanon has always been that after the Death Eaters were busted out of Azkaban, they were drilled really really hard by Voldemort or someone put in charge of that. These were his most loyal (and powerful) followers and thus very valuable. Plus, they had the rich friends etc. to have a safe place to get healthier again, whereas Sirius was eating vermin, feeding a hippogriff and then cleaning house (not that I think that’s why he lost, but it’s interesting). I totally agree that the taunting thing was likely his style and the fact that most people, when discussing his ~recklessness~ mainly pretty much quote the things Dumbledore (and Molly and Hermione) said and only pick up the taunting as an afterthought, only convinces me more that people didn’t pay as much attention to his actions as the shit-talk campaign in OotP. Then again, if literally any character in any story does it, it’s seen as a cool funny thing because they always win when they’re the good guys (which btw I don’t see as a cool funny thing bc being the victorious good guy is not enough for me lol) but when it’s paired with a character who gets stripped down to nearly a caricature of one character trait, THEN suddenly people notice, of course.
[ETA: very interested in that fic btw. Maybe I’ll give it a shot with what’s left of my shitty school German lol. I think there’s so much going on with how Sirius values his own life. His safety as well as his influence — look what happened last time he made an important choice — yet he seems to objectively know how well he gets Harry and the war and his skills. I love that he so clearly wants to LIVE. He doesn’t resign to or accept his fate and I admire that so much. But all his agency is taken from him.]
(and about the Patroni thing — I think Rowling said in an interview once that Death Eaters can’t produce them. Because they’re so full of Dark I guess. idk man. I don’t think it means Bellatrix was less affected by the Dementors (Sirius had Padfoot after all) though Rowling seems t imply she was basically the same level of “crazy” before, whatever the fuck that means.)
Yo La Tengo - I Was The Fool Beside You For Too Long
The things about you that would drive me wild still drive me wild, but now in a different way
it's so fucked up how r/s is doomed no matter what happens. as in, if there was no war, no voldemort, what would bind them together? would they not just drift apart as they grow old, no secrets or wartime desperation to hold them in each other's grip?
the inextricability of remus and sirius, imo, comes from the war, from the intimacy of baring your soul to someone when every day could be your last. but, of course, the war is also why they are doomed—sirius suspects remus, sirius is imprisoned for 12 years, and then sirius dies after a brief reunion with remus.
"what if there was no war" is complete speculation on my part yes, and im not claiming it's some objective truth, but i do honestly think that theres no plausible ending where remus and sirius grow old together happily ever after. they either mutually drift apart in the absence of wartime suffering or they are torn apart against their will and become each other's never healed wounds.
it's so crazy dude what the hell
We Are Hard on Each Other by Margaret Atwood i We are hard on each other and call it honesty, choosing our jagged truths with care and aiming them across the neutral table. The things we say are true; it is our crooked aims, our choices turn them criminal. ii Of course your lies are more amusing: you make them new each time. Your truths, painful and boring repeat themselves over & over perhaps because you own so few of them iii A truth should exist, it should not be used like this. If I love you is that a fact or a weapon? iv Does the body lie moving like this, are these touches, hair, wet soft marble my tongue runs over lies you are telling me? Your body is not a word, it does not lie or speak truth either. It is only here or not here.
Lost yrs remus lupin my friend is gone he ran away i can tell you i love him each day …
*body slams j*r and reclaims these 5 as my own*
Ten Theses on Monsters and Monstrosity
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Tonks
brian molko of placebo, 1996-98 // "nancy boy" - placebo // dave vanian of the damned, 1977-79 // "burn" - the cure // brandon lee as eric draven in the crow, 1994 // "she's your cocaine" - tori amos // daniel ash and peter murphy of bauhaus, 1980
no more catboys. catmen . 28 yr old washed up depressed catman downing his 5th whiskey glass and his cat ears twitch depressedly
And then he pushes the empty glass forlornly off the counter
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