I hope someone reads this essay I wrote just cuz I felt like it.
They say everything is best in moderation. Not too much, not too little, not too often. Just right. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
Well, I mention this in regards to two things, Gaming and Nostalgia. See, I'm am going on 33 this year and ever since I graduated high school I have struggled with two things. My love for nostalgia and my waning interest in gaming. Now, you are probably thinking to yourself
"Catstiel, these are two pretty cliche things to bring up. Why they go hand in hand! (Gaming and Nostalgia)." This here is the thing, in my case and I suspect many others like me. Being obsessed with nostalgia, or should I rephrase this to >overly< obsessed can taint the here and now, because you become enraptured by the past and the feelings it had you experience back then.
Our childhood feelings from adolescence were new to us, fresh. We still getting used to the world, our surroundings. everything in our memory from back then resonated brighter, left a longer lasting impression because at the time, everything was the next big thing. Everyday was an adventure. We are more experienced now, we have re-experienced some moments several times now with different people in different situations from the last and first.
Now I bet you are probably wanting to ask me, "Catstiel do you have reason for yapping about all this? You just seem to be rambling about a nothing sandwich.
Here is my point I'm trying to get across. I have recently realized that my passion for gaming had waned so much to become disinterest because of my yearning to re-experience my past through the modern day by over fixating on only games I had played as a kid or franchises I was already in love with. Unfortunately a lot of games didn't remain the same (but what does?) and that left me feeling unsatisfied due to not living up to my nostalgia, but I was comparing them to a standard that the game had progressed from. Now mind you, other factors played a part in this, stressors, depression, lots of trauma and major major anxiety.
I was mentally tortured in the here and now, but I try to cure it but returning to a time I could never go back to. Ever. Nostalgia can be a poison for many things if you become overly dependent on it. It can affect you in many ways and can even affect other aspects of your life than what you think it could.
I had to learn that the hard way since 2010. Nostalgia should not be returned to so often and never should be depended on for comfort every time. I nearly destroyed my passion for gaming because I wanted to feel what I felt as kid after years of feeling hurt. I wanted to go back to being a kid. But all things change, even our minds and emotions.
So from here on out for me, and my piece of advice to any like me or similar or even not at all.
Everything in moderation. Even passions.
God Bless.
snowghoul
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