Some signs that your social media experience is unnecessarily negative:
- You feel constantly under attack, even when the only posts you have interacted with that day are your mutuals' or people you follow
- You feel like you cannot express respectful disagreement within your own circles without getting painted as an aggressor or a traitor
- You feel unspoken pressure to accept and reciprocate certain kinds of interactions you don't actually want to do to keep the peace (e.g., sexual comments, or statements affirming hatred of another individual or group)
- You worry about getting expelled or blacklisted from your circle if you question the assertions and actions of specific people. You can never seem to phrase disagreement in a way that doesn't offend someone.
- The group constantly paints non-members as universally hostile and dangerous, and you are encouraged to respond to them with suspicion and hostility regardless of what they actually say or do. Exceptions may be made for certain people's partners and friends, but not yours
- Acceptable opinions change on a dime; if you are not constantly online, you may find that what was considered fine to say two days ago gets you dogpiled today, and no one gives you any grace for not knowing
- You feel pressure to enjoy things you don't actually enjoy; you are encouraged to force yourself to like them, or at least silently tolerate them; if you don't like them, it may become difficult or impossible to continue interacting with certain people
- You are not allowed to just move on from some of your own negative experiences; you may feel pressure to play a martyr, and made to feel guilty for not feeling worse
- Setting up boundaries is seen as hostile; you may feel like your boundaries are constantly being tested by people you consider friends
- You feel afraid to take a break from constant posting and commenting about triggering and upsetting topics; you feel guilty if you do not constantly feel as angry and upset as others seem to be, even if those emotions are actively hindering you in other ways. A state of constant agitation is portrayed as both virtuous and eternal
- Your identity is so bound up in belonging to the group that it is difficult or impossible to imagine being any other way. To leave the group without restarting from scratch would require a very dramatic splintering of the group itself, because there is no tolerance for slowly growing and changing. You feel trapped and do not know how to avoid it other than not using social media at all.
