Sometimes I just think about how lonely Emma Perkinsā life is, especially in TGWDLM.
She came back to Hatchetfield because itās the only place she had any roots but the roots she did have were thin. Her parents arenāt around, her sisterās dead, her brother in law doesnāt want anything to do with her, her nephew doesnāt know her. The only people she really talks to are her co-workers who donāt seem to like her that much and vice versa.
Sheās been alone for a while. She liked it, she enjoyed it. Enjoys it still. Yet, now sheās stuck in one place. One place where everyone kind of knows who she is. And no one really cares what sheās did (backpacking across the world is actually so cool and so brave).
She goes to work. She goes to class. She goes home and sleeps and then does it all over again. She probably got groceries for Hidgens because she saw herself in him, and also maybe feared that she would become something similar. A recluse. Remembered by no one and cared by no one.
But then thereās this regular at Beanieās who everyone knows is absolutely enamored by her. āSome things are worth it,ā he says. He always tips her. Always makes small conversation. So when the chance comes to maybe actually get to know this person, Emma takes it. Because then maybe sheād be remembered by someone. Cared for might be a stretch.
She finds herself reaching for him in ways she never has before. Always holding onto him, to have something physical. He does the same, for his own reasons yes, but he holds her back nonetheless. When the impossible happens, she finds herself opening up to him. She doesnāt let herself break, not completely , but she lets him know her story, her baggage. Maybe it would scare him off. It doesnāt.
And then she wakes up in a hospital where the one place she had thin roots is completely gone and the one person she began to open herself up to is gone too. Emma Perkins is dead. All thatās left is Kelly.
But then Ben Bridges waltzes in. And sheās not alone anymore. He starts singing, and like being dunked in an icy lake, Emma is alone once again.
There must have been something so terrifying yet comforting about joining the hive. Emma Perkins would finally get to die and whatever was left of her would never be alone again.
