Saistiel🤟🏼 @reystiel-blog - Tumblr Blog

Texts between Wade and Peter (You can’t tell but Peter’s contact name is Spider Bitch)

remember when deadpool literally stole spiderman’s costume because pete was dead tired and delirious just so deadpool could be spiderman for the day and give pete a break & a chance to catch up on some much needed zzz’s

where can i get me a friend like deadpool

superfamilyincorrectquotes

Peter: The best revenge really is being nice.

Wade, in the distance: Or murder.

ego-san

Nobody’s born being a psychopath, but to cancel an excellent serie makes you one.

mastercherry

I can actually verify this cuz I totally read this actual comic! They were trying to summon DP’s succubus wife and summoned Spidey instead! Canon! My heart exploded!!!

ghostlytricksters

The Middle Ages!AU

squidwardisanoctopus

Are deadpool “fans” even aware of how much time the comics spend making sure we know how bad he wants to bone spiderman?

flamboyantfetus

Wade: What’s that word for horny, but not in a sexual way? Like, I’m horny for Halloween, but I don’t want to fuck a pumpkin.

Peter: wha-what…do you mean excited?

ottbott

not-close-to-straight

Not that I need more Spideypool AU ideas but—

Wade as Hades and Peter as Persephone.

Hades hanging out minding his own business when the mouthy, headstrong kid of fucking Demeter (may she rot because Hades can’t really stand her) wanders into the Underworld and thinks “oh hey, this is cool.”

Wade desperately doing everything he can to get Peter to leave.

“Don’t eat that!”

“Don’t touch that!”

“Fear my wrath, damn it!”

“For the love of ZEUS, stop feeding my dog! No, Peter he’s not a pretty puppy this is the goddamn underworld you should be screaming in fear!!!”

“You know what? Fine. Reverse psychology. You hungry? Eat these pomegranate seeds. You’ll have to stay here FOREVER”

“DAMN IT YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM I AM CALLING YOUR MOTHER!”

“Demeter come get your brat—WHAT DO YOU MEAN JOINT CUSTODY?? I DONT WANT HIM SIX MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR HE KEEPS CALLING CEREBUS “SPOT”!!!!”

“Alright look. You have to stay down here for half the year now— no. No Pete. No you can’t sit there. That’s my seat. What? No! You can’t rule with me! You’re a prisoner! This isn’t supposed to be fun!”

Three months later Peter is a god of the Underworld and has a pretty throne right next to Hades.

“Cerebus. Dog. You’re supposed to be guarding the gates, not getting belly rubs.”

“But he’s such a pretty pupper!”

“Peter, I swear to Zeus cut that shit out.”

Three months after that, Wade kicks Peter TF out onto the surface world with a note pinned to his jacket “Demeter, it’s your turn.”

But then Wade gets lonely, and Peters throne is just so empty it sucks?? And the six months Peter is gone, he’ll just falls into a disaster. Cerebus is so depressed that he lets all sorts of heroes into the underworld to rescue other people because he doesn’t care.

Wade pouts on the throne, talks to his own echo, and complains that Torture has lost its fun and he’s just.so.bored.

Then winter turns and Peter comes back and Wade… well he isn’t going to say he’s in love, but you know….

Peter just grins and eats handful of pomegranate seeds and pets the doggo.