The Rez I Know @rez-eye-no - Tumblr Blog

The Rez I Know...

i having a grand opening next week for our new upgraded community center building. I'm so excited to work out before work and have a safe space for the kids to come after school. its still winter but i can feel the thaw is coming and I'm so grateful for it. i have been participating with a group of people who want to build a big house for ceremonies. I'm so happy to be participating in any way i can. and be helpful. because i can feel that this is what our people need. i feel torn though.

I've decided to move. not forever. i will always come home to the rez, and yet i feel a pull to leave, to learn more, and to experience new things. i feel like there's so much that i need to learn about the world off the rez. and most importantly i know deep in my heart i will never find love here and this is what ive been craving more than any thing. i want to live in a city. i want to walk to work and find a community that isnt related to me. i feel like its so easy for me to lose myself and what i want here on the rez. when im here i just fall into the role ive been given. but im out growing it and i feel so uncomfortable here so i guess ill go be uncomfortable some where else. i want to move to pittsburgh. but i still have things i have to finish here. im coming up on my 3 year anniversary at my job, my sister is graduating this year, i have a festival in june and i want to spend summer with my family i want to do something every weekend and i have a lot of graduation parties to go to. and i feel the best time to move would be in november then i can celebrate my birthday here. i feel dumb for choosing pittsburgh sometimes because its still gonna be cold there. but im not worried about the cold in fact i like the cold but i still sometimes second guess myself. i want to be closer to my homelands i want to be far enough away that i cant just call my mom and be like come save me. because i know ill want to and i know she will. my mother would do anything for me. a thought has crossed my mind of my sister coming with me. and im not totally against it. shes an adult now and how wonderful to have that piece of home with me. i cannot yet tell if it is intuition or just my own selfish desires. i know she would do well in the city and i know how much easier it would all be to have her as a roommate. but i also feel that i need to live on my own truly when i lived in apartment#2 i could always go home and my depression got the best of me. in apartment #1 the drive was too far and i would stay at my moms instead of driving back to my own bed. the only other place ive lived is at home. i know i will be homesick but I feel that i can do this. i want to move before the holidays because after them is when i sink into my depression. in fact maybe i should move earlier. end of summer move would be wonderful. do i feel that my grief will hit me harder when im gone or will it be easier to forget? my worst fear is a loved one passing while im gone. i would come home of course but would i fall right back into the same cycles? i have this fear for when i return fully as well. there is so much to think about. i hope to think about some more another time.

#indigenous #tribal #indian reservation #nativeamericans #rez #pittsburgh #deeperthanusual #travel #idkguysimreallynotsurewhatimdoinghere #ilovemyjobbutiwantsomuchmore #ideservemore

The Rez I know…

Sounds like rusty bike chains being used for the first time in months

Outdoor drum practice waking up the earth

And the frogs in swamp behind my house keeping me company every night all summer long <3

P.S. we got a duck in the swamp this year so maybe I’ll take a good picture of it one of these days

#indigenous #tribal #indian reservation #nativeamericans #rez #frogs #spring #drums #bicycle

The Rez I know is working toward revitalization.

#indigenous #tribal #indian reservation #nativeamericans #rez #revitalize #native community #language #the last of the mohicans #Mohican #Munsee #Youtube

Is a community.

As I’m coming up on a year of working this job I’m noticing how much I miss about my childhood and how much the community has changed there are a lot of factors that led to the changes that have happened but I want to bring back the old ways and work towards doing much more cultural activities. I remember going to powwows at the family center multiple times a year, the Christmas party was amazing and we spent hours there just playing with the other kids and hanging out I remember the Halloween family night was always a hit (I also remember dressing up as Hannah Montana one year[congrats Miley]) the lock ins were epic and the cultural exchange was always packed.

Unfortunately somewhere along the way we lost this sense of community and we all became individuals not a part of a whole. I’m really not trying to make today’s youth relive my childhood I just want them to have fun real fun so much fun that they forget they left their phones in the room, so much fun they forget that they were trying to look cool, and so much fun that they look back in 12 years and want to pass that on to the next generation. I hope that when that happens they take the initiative to work this job and teach the youth and show them the ways and hopefully it’ll be even easier for them to do because we’ll have paved the way

#indigenous #tribal #mfc #rez #indian reservation #family #nativeamericans #native american #native community

The Rez I know…

Is having an election.

It’s that time of year and I’m a little hesitant to talk about tribal politics. It needs to be addressed my tribe is being run by money hungry politicians and drug addicts. Tribal councils corruption stems from the corruption of the US government as well as the colonization of our community. I do want to mention that I’m specifically talking about my tribe which is relatively “well off” and I feel we benefit from white washing.

Our casino does well though I’ve heard that there maybe some issues happening within that area and I’m not just talking about about the toxic environment that casinos seem to breed but also they may be having money issues and or issues with the gaming commission.

We are building a new facility for our elders and they are going to have 4x the amount of rooms available so there’s some growing pains there but the manager of the current facility is ousting native employees and lying to everyone to keep a good relationship even though they all find out about it. White employees are disrespecting the residents and refusing to make amends and while some residents stick up for themselves, others are too scared to report what is happening to them. A member of lower management recently stepped down and is going back to working on the floor with the residents and said that the reason she stepped down is because she’s sick of working for her boss and wants to work for the residents. She has spent weeks trying to get trainings in place to talk to the employees about trauma informed care and specifically boarding school trauma. When she did get someone to come in and talk to the employees, the employees and her boss were checking their watches and seemingly not willing to learn about the things these elders have been through.

I typed up a paragraph about my place of work but felt that it was too whiny so I’ve omitted that.

I want to talk in-depth about the casino but I don’t know enough yet to make an assessment about how it’s actually doing beyond what I knew as an employee when I worked there it is concerning to be hearing rumors about it though because I know that if I’m hearing stuff other people are hearing a lot of stuff and I don’t know what that is but from my knowledge we’ve been under an interim general manager for a long time now and I feel that tribal council is just not doing anything about it. I mean they could be I haven’t been able to make it to a tribal council meeting in a very long time but I also feel like that’s not a good excuse I want to be able to participate in our tribal government

#unfinished #indigenous #tribal #tribal government #rant

The Rez I know has the best kids (not the most respectful)

I started a new job working with the youth and I can tell this is where I’m meant to be right now. I’m enjoying it. The kids make every moment so fulfilling as I watch them learn new things. I’m ready to teach them about the cultural teaching and show them that even though we’re not all from the same tribes the teaching are very similar if not the same.

#the last of the mohicans #indigenous #Mohican #tribal #Rez #indian reservation #reservation dogs #meditation #swimming #stray kids

The Rez I know is 29°F

it’s so beautiful out tonight I couldn’t even mind the cold the photo never does it justice

Is covered in ice and snow. Drive safe y’all!

#indigenous #native humor

The Rez I know comes together during emergencies 🧡

On June 15th there was a tornado that tore through my reservation this tornado left the reservation and nearby towns with out power for 3-4 days these photos are from the day of and following days the video is of me hanging out with some of the elders checking in on them making sure they’re safe and don’t need anything during the outage some of us were very lucky having generators and no damage to our homes and some of us are still displaced due to damage to our homes but we all came together after everything and it was so wonderful to see everyone together kids that never got to play together were and I got to talk to people I haven’t seen in a while but the best part of the tornado is all the fire wood there’s been fires every weekend since the tornado and it’s so amazing that something so terrible keeps giving us reasons to come together

#indigineous people #indigenous #nativeamericans #tornado #trees #respect your elders #I wrote this while watching twilight #one month #during the tornado I stood in the big window of my house #just midwest things

I have to go swimming here but idk when but for sure like soon maybe memorial day weekend but like I want it to be nice and warm because that water is cold asf fr 😂 but like I got here and literally had a vision of me walking into the water and it was so healing like even just to be near it I miss swimming here also at the lake lot but like I had an actual vision it wasn't like when people imagine things like I was there watching myself go swimming here

Like I saw myself walking into the river and the river isn't deep but like got in there and I went under the water and I felt it healing me like just feeling better about everything quarentine, being laid off, like even big things like my love life and just my future like when this happens it's really gonna help me feel better winter and quarantine have really affected my mental health and this is really going to help put everything back in perspective like I'm not just a human being I'm apart of this world I can feel the river reminding me that I am apart of this whole world the rocks the sun the sky it's all reminding me of something I've forgotten or maybe I never truely knew

The Rez I know... Is great for grilling

I kinda forgot I was doing this but im back until I forget again

If you're looking for a good serious indigenous film watch Indian horse it's about a first nation's boy going to a residential school and then he learns to play hockey it's really good but just so you know it does include s**ual assault besides that I thought it was really good and it helps put in perspective how recent this all is.

We need to help our elders heal from this and the best way to do that is just to talk to them and listen when they tell you things they do things the way they do for a reason and they need to pass it on so we can continue our ways.