❦

the human heart in conflict with itself

[rhaenicentric]

something about rhaenyra and alicent being each other's most cherished wound.

bristling when someone else tries to share in their hate and misery for each other, because "she is my pain and mine alone. no one has cut this deep and drawn this much blood as we have done for each other. no one but us will ever truly understand it. only the both of us have a right to the despair we cause each other."

whether their hands intertwine to touch the flowers that grow under a weirwood tree or the cool metal of a blade drenched in blood, they echo: "i will live in you in any way i can. if i cannot be the one you love the most, i will be the one you hate the most."

(but isn't that almost, if not, the same thing?)

[rhaenicentric]

do you ever think of how rhaenyra likely has the strong belief that she will win the war because she knows that she's fighting it for a reason bigger than "who is the rightful heir", not knowing that her story is told to us in history as having ended in a great demise – no glories, no roars, no rights.

[sugurugetos]

EMMA D'ARCY & OLIVIA COOKE Behind the Scenes — 2.03

[rhaenicentric]

rhaenyra & alicent ❦ long may you roar

the quiet comprehending of the ending of it all.

a spotify playlist

~

long may you reign

you're an animal

you are bloodthirsty

[rhaenicentric]

rhaenyra and alicent being central to the dance of the dragons is truly proof that all of history is just a doomed love story. everything they did was out of love — even the hateful wretched things, which they could only bear to do because they thought they were doing them out of love. for their parents, for their children, for the love that they once had for each other. and so it goes. and so it was.

[rhaenicentric]

"They are connected by a sort of invisible umbilical cord ... Rhaenyra gets punched and Alicent flinches ... Rhaenyra sneezes and Alicent catches a cold."

❦

[rhaenicentric]

rhaenyra & alicent ❦ long may you roar

the quiet comprehending of the ending of it all.

a spotify playlist

~

long may you reign

you're an animal

you are bloodthirsty

[rhaenicentric]

rhaenyra never being able to hide how deeply she is wounded, always changed by grief and her overcoming of it.

alicent never being able to show or even acknowledge how deep her wounds run, changed by the endless overcoming that never allows her to grieve.

[seygay]

House targaryen is so rotten

there’s nothing new for them, every second son lives in his brother’s shadow, every first son doomed to the throne that never stops cutting him, every daughter just a walking womb to bring about another generation of dead babies, the incest as a metaphor for it’s cannibalizing of itself, it’s the dragon eating its tail, they were meant to have died in Valyria now live on this wannabe with every member craving for the days of old, the home which they have never been and can never reach, they’re have to kill each other because with their dragons they are their only true equals: in companionship and rivalry

[rhaenicentric]

[rhaenicentric]

"All these people think love is for show, but I would die for you in secret."

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

[lemonysnicketblog]

The Full "I Will Love You." Letter. The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket

Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping. I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

[mumumumuch]

“Although sometimes I get annoyed because Byulyi is bothering me, her existence is something I will try to find without reason if she is not there, or that I will find comforting if she is there. It’s something inexpressible in words.” — Solar (transl. cr.: tgc nim on twt) “When I’m having a hard time, I actually don’t tell my family. Instead, I call Solar unnie. Even if I don‘t say anything, just being together is healing for me.” — Moonbyul, 2017 (transl. cr.: ch0sshi on twt)

domestic moonsun 🐰🏡🐹 ⤷ for @solar-yongsun, happy birthday! 💖

[rhaenicentric]

"All these people think love is for show, but I would die for you in secret."

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

[rhaenicentric]

eren & mikasa ; "so this was heaven" — a spotify playlist, 1 hour and 39 minutes

after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that

1. happiness — taylor swift

haunted by the look in my eyes that would have loved you for a lifetime / leave it all behind / tell me, when did your winning smile, begin to look like a smirk? / when did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

2. two slow dancers — mitski

the ground has been slowly pulling us back down / you see it on both our skin / we get a few years and then it wants us back again / it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again

3. listen before i go — billie eilish

that's what a year-long headache does to you / i'm not okay, i feel so scattered / don't say i'm all that matters / leave me

4. i bet on losing dogs — mitski

i bet on losing dogs / i know they're losing and i pay for my place by the ring / where i'll be looking into their eyes when they're down / i'll be there on their side / i'll be losing by their side

5. the night we met — lord huron

and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you / i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

6. once upon a dream (maleficent soundtrack) — lana del rey

i know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam / and although it's true that visions are seldom what they seem / if i know you, i know what you'll do / you'll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream

7. sparks — coldplay

did i drive you away? / i know what you'll say / you say, "oh, sing one we know" / but i promise you this, i'll always look out for you / yeah, that's what i'll do

8. i love you so — the walters

i'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind / this feeling's old and i know that i've made up my mind / i hope you feel what i felt when you shattered my soul / 'cause you were cool and i'm a fool so please let me go / but i love you so

9. apocalypse — cigarettes after sex

you leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust / filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above / got the music in you, baby, tell me why / you've been locked in there forever and you just can't say goodbye

10. i'll never smile again — frank sinatra, tommy dorsey orchestra

i'll never thrill again to somebody new / within my heart, i know i will never start to smile again / until i smile at you

11. white ferrari — frank ocean

clearly, this isn't all that there is / can't take what's been given / you dream of walls that hold us imprisoned / it's just a skull, 'least that's what they call it / and we're free to roam

12. chasing pavements — adele

i build myself up and fly around in circles / waitin' as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle / finally, could this be it / or should i give up? / or should i just keep on chasing

13. moon song — phoebe bridgers

you are sick and you're married and you might be dying / but you're holding me like water in your hands / when you saw the dead little bird you started crying / but you know the killer doesn't understand

14. repeat until death — novo amor

don't go, you're half of me now / but i'm hardly stood proud / i said it, almost / oh, i've been low, but dammit i bet it don't show / it was heaven a moment ago / i had it, almost / we had it, almost

15. fourth of july — sufjan stevens

where everything was fiction, future, and prediction / now where am i? my fading supply / did you get enough love, my little dove? why do you cry? / and i'm sorry i left but it was for the best / though it never felt right

16. i saw you in a dream — the japanese house

i saw you in a dream / you had stayed the same / you were beckoning me / said that i had changed / tried to keep my eyes closed / i want you so bad / then i awoke and it was so sad

17. savior complex — phoebe bridgers

you want blood and i promised / i'm a bad liar with a savior complex / all the skeletons you hide / show me yours and i'll show you mine / all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours

18. state lines — novo amor

was it all any more faded after all? / i don't know, i don't know i don't know / are you sure, did you call? / did we ever really talk? / i don't know, i don't know, i don't know

19. peace — taylor swift

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / sit with you in the trenches / give you my wild, give you a child / give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / is it enough? / no, i could never give you peace

20. my heart is buried in venice — ricky montgomery

say, say what you mean / tell me the truth or tell me you're through / don't leave me to breathe / don't leave me to bleed / for someone who chose to leave me be

21. roslyn — cullen

sea and rock below / cocked to the undertow / bones, blood and teeth erode / they will be crashing low / wings wouldn't help you

22. wings (acoustic) — birdy

i just wanna be by your side / if these wings could fly / oh, damn these walls / in the moment, we're ten feet tall / and how you told me after it all / we'd remember tonight for the rest of our lives

23. re:stacks — bon iver

this is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization / it's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away / your love will be safe with me

24. she dances — billie marten

and i'm jealous of her feet / the way she runs from nobody / the way she walks right through the sea / and how she'll make you weep

25. birdcage — novo amor

for the record, i blame myself / it went on and on, i let me lose / i'm letting my head collapse on itself / could you need me now? / i can't see how / i think i'm forgetting how to breathe out

[rhaenicentric]

"All these people think love is for show, but I would die for you in secret."

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

[rhaenicentric]

"All these people think love is for show, but I would die for you in secret."

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

[rhaenicentric]

eren & mikasa ; "so this was heaven" — a spotify playlist, 1 hour and 39 minutes

after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that

1. happiness — taylor swift

haunted by the look in my eyes that would have loved you for a lifetime / leave it all behind / tell me, when did your winning smile, begin to look like a smirk? / when did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

2. two slow dancers — mitski

the ground has been slowly pulling us back down / you see it on both our skin / we get a few years and then it wants us back again / it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again

3. listen before i go — billie eilish

that's what a year-long headache does to you / i'm not okay, i feel so scattered / don't say i'm all that matters / leave me

4. i bet on losing dogs — mitski

i bet on losing dogs / i know they're losing and i pay for my place by the ring / where i'll be looking into their eyes when they're down / i'll be there on their side / i'll be losing by their side

5. the night we met — lord huron

and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you / i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

6. once upon a dream (maleficent soundtrack) — lana del rey

i know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam / and although it's true that visions are seldom what they seem / if i know you, i know what you'll do / you'll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream

7. sparks — coldplay

did i drive you away? / i know what you'll say / you say, "oh, sing one we know" / but i promise you this, i'll always look out for you / yeah, that's what i'll do

8. i love you so — the walters

i'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind / this feeling's old and i know that i've made up my mind / i hope you feel what i felt when you shattered my soul / 'cause you were cool and i'm a fool so please let me go / but i love you so

9. apocalypse — cigarettes after sex

you leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust / filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above / got the music in you, baby, tell me why / you've been locked in there forever and you just can't say goodbye

10. i'll never smile again — frank sinatra, tommy dorsey orchestra

i'll never thrill again to somebody new / within my heart, i know i will never start to smile again / until i smile at you

11. white ferrari — frank ocean

clearly, this isn't all that there is / can't take what's been given / you dream of walls that hold us imprisoned / it's just a skull, 'least that's what they call it / and we're free to roam

12. chasing pavements — adele

i build myself up and fly around in circles / waitin' as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle / finally, could this be it / or should i give up? / or should i just keep on chasing

13. moon song — phoebe bridgers

you are sick and you're married and you might be dying / but you're holding me like water in your hands / when you saw the dead little bird you started crying / but you know the killer doesn't understand

14. repeat until death — novo amor

don't go, you're half of me now / but i'm hardly stood proud / i said it, almost / oh, i've been low, but dammit i bet it don't show / it was heaven a moment ago / i had it, almost / we had it, almost

15. fourth of july — sufjan stevens

where everything was fiction, future, and prediction / now where am i? my fading supply / did you get enough love, my little dove? why do you cry? / and i'm sorry i left but it was for the best / though it never felt right

16. i saw you in a dream — the japanese house

i saw you in a dream / you had stayed the same / you were beckoning me / said that i had changed / tried to keep my eyes closed / i want you so bad / then i awoke and it was so sad

17. savior complex — phoebe bridgers

you want blood and i promised / i'm a bad liar with a savior complex / all the skeletons you hide / show me yours and i'll show you mine / all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours

18. state lines — novo amor

was it all any more faded after all? / i don't know, i don't know i don't know / are you sure, did you call? / did we ever really talk? / i don't know, i don't know, i don't know

19. peace — taylor swift

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / sit with you in the trenches / give you my wild, give you a child / give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / is it enough? / no, i could never give you peace

20. my heart is buried in venice — ricky montgomery

say, say what you mean / tell me the truth or tell me you're through / don't leave me to breathe / don't leave me to bleed / for someone who chose to leave me be

21. roslyn — cullen

sea and rock below / cocked to the undertow / bones, blood and teeth erode / they will be crashing low / wings wouldn't help you

22. wings (acoustic) — birdy

i just wanna be by your side / if these wings could fly / oh, damn these walls / in the moment, we're ten feet tall / and how you told me after it all / we'd remember tonight for the rest of our lives

23. re:stacks — bon iver

this is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization / it's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away / your love will be safe with me

24. she dances — billie marten

and i'm jealous of her feet / the way she runs from nobody / the way she walks right through the sea / and how she'll make you weep

25. birdcage — novo amor

for the record, i blame myself / it went on and on, i let me lose / i'm letting my head collapse on itself / could you need me now? / i can't see how / i think i'm forgetting how to breathe out