flower child

#this is mildly shitty oops #nsfw

“I’ve seen worse sides of people. So you shouldn’t be worried at all. No but you’re something. She didn’t lead you on, say she wanted to fix shit then change her mind without even saying a thing to you about it. Don’t be. Now you’re just trying to get more bonus points, I’m on to you.”

“Well I guess that’s good. We’re not anything anymore I don’t think. True, she didn’t do that, but she did purposely flirt/try to sleep with other girls while I was visiting my yia-yia, so I guess there’s that. I’m not doing anything- I’m completely innocent in this.”

vistevens

❝ I am not getting defensive. Honestly? I wanted to give you your way out. I wanted to see that if I could do something that would cause you to see that I wasn’t good enough for you and you can finally be or at least find someone who could be worth your time instead of wasting it all on me, but the thought of losing you didn’t really let me go far and made me regret trying which is why I am telling you now before you find out. Sort though you would be some what proud of me. ❞

#i didn't know if you wanted me to reply to this or if you wanted to start something new for after she found out #about her sleeping with Jaz I mean

“I guess I’m still not understanding where you’re coming from- but if you want to give me a way out.... I’m not proud of you for wanting to split us up- even if the moment was short lived. Doesn’t sound reassuring at all.”

Ben smiled happily, he never knew the moment he saw her they would get coffee and dinner. Otherwise, we would have been looking for Rhea, not avoiding her. But it was the safest route to keep from getting too close to her, too fast. He always had trouble keeping his feelings secret for too long, the whole reason why he was such an over protective asshole through their relationship in the first place. But he couldn’t help it, the men just wouldn’t leave her alone. Especially night after night, when they knew she was with someone, with him. It made him upset being so ignored, and it aggravated him when they all thought they had a chance. And if he were to get too close to her again, all those same exact feelings would came back. He wanted to convince her, he had changed. But it was difficult to do that when all those recurring thoughts were still swimming around his head. He nodded gratefully. “Me too.” His heart swelled up in excitement. He didn’t expect anything to happen, if he was being completely honest, he didn’t know what to expect. But this was too hard to pass up, it had the possibility of being a really great thing and he wasn’t about to let that go. “Yeah, coffee sounds great.” He agreed to the date and attached the clasp of Jazmyn’s leash to her collar. He smiled to her as he started to walk forward. He hadn’t had a moment to think about what they would talk about while they were on this said date, much less what they would say when they had to walk there together. He was beginning to get nervous. It was unbelievable how she had this much of an effect on him. He was usually so good with talking ad interacting with another person, hell even animals. But when it came to Rhea, he was completely oblivious to what he would say. To what he should say. He wanted to apologize for his behaviour for when they were together but figured it was too soon to delve into that. He held the leash comfortably in his grasp as they walked side by side. “What else have you been up to? Aside for work and Sirius, I mean.” He asked, almost unaware of his own tongue. He felt like he could almost swallow it from talking so casually with her, again. It had been so long that they just talked. Just talked. No fighting, no arguing, no shouting. No mention of how he messed up anything. He kept his eyes to the ground as he walked, unsure of how happy he should act. He didn’t want her getting uncomfortable or anything. So he kept a polite smile when he took a peek at her, waiting for her answer.

#this is shit I'm so sorry

Things seemed to be going well- for now at least. She knew it was far too soon to tell, but she was hoping that maybe their time apart had changed Ben. It was no secret that Rhea hadn’t fully gotten over Ben, there love was the kind you had once in a lifetime, and everyone that was close to them when they were together knew that. The two of them had been inseparable when they were dating, it was hard for her to get used to not having him around every time something went wrong, he was the one she had always ran to, and honestly she still wasn’t entirely used to it. She wondered how he felt about heir breakup, how he had been truly doing- she knew he would never actually tell her how he was doing- much as she wouldn’t tell him how much she had missed him. At least not yet. “I haven’t been doing much.” She admitted. She had almost gotten into a relationship which kept her pretty busy, but she wasn’t sure that was something she should delve into with him right now. “I was kind of with someone for a bit, but things just weren’t working out- I didn’t have that spark.” She mentioned, eyeing him as if to let him know she hadn’t felt that spark since him. “I feel a bit pathetic for not doing more with my time but the practice keeps me so busy, I’ve got to hire some more staff because I need some time to myself again.” Rhea had always been the outdoorsy type, always hiking and doing yoga outside, but she hadn’t had the time in a while. “What about you? Take up any new hobbies or anything?” She questioned, allowing Sirius to lead the way as they walked.

He nodded along when she responded back with, it’s good. He kind of thought they used that one word to keep themselves from unloading all they wanted to say right then and there. Even things they didn’t think they would want to say to each other. Like I miss you. He sure hoped that’s what she wanted to say, because it was all too true for him. Every bone in his body felt that electricity and pull they always had. From the moment he met her, he could only think of touching her soft, tan skin. To wrap his arms around her slim warm, waist. To run his hand through her silky tres’. To caress her pink plump lips with his. He tried to snap out of that thought process but it always came back. They were especially intense when he was only a few feet away from her. Torture. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, feeling slightly embarrassed for having the thoughts he was having. Before dropping his hand and perking his ears at the sound of her being single. It wasn’t like he wanted to jump back into whatever they had just because they were both available. He knew what they’re problems were, he knew why she chose to end it. But it was a relief to hear because maybe, just maybe. She wanted him again too. He smiled, hearing her adoring words for her mother’s practice. She was always such a kind soul when it came to the animals. You could always tell she had a passion for them just like her mother. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the wording she chose to ask how his profession was going. “The, uh, paramedic thing is going okay.” He answered, not really getting into it since the job had its stressful moments, and he would often take them home. He didn’t want her to hear of how much it’s affected him, but he knew he’ll continue to do it for the thrill of helping people. His thoughts were interrupted when she asked him, if he’d like to go out with her. His heart leapt at the chance. “They both sound great. If you’d like to.” He wanted to slap himself, of course she wants to- she asked you, idiot!

Rhea could feel Ben’s eyes on her, and in an instant it was like she was in his mind. Imagining all of the things he was imagining. His rugged hands tangled in her hair like they had so many times before, at the base of her neck sending chills down her spine, his soft lips brushing against her own, his hot breath tasting sweet as always. She knew he was thinking the same thing by the way he awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck- a nervous habit she had noticed over the years. She could feel a slight blush coating her cheeks, her face growing hotter with each passing moment. This was a dangerous road to be on, Ben was her kryptonite, he always had been. Even when all of her friends were telling her he was over-bearing and that she needed to call things off, she couldn’t. For the longest time, she knew she should, but was too wrapped up in him to actually do it. He was over-bearing but she was constantly caught between thinking it was completely sexy, and completely hating it. All the fights he had gotten into at the bar, in a weird way she always felt like he was trying to defend her honor, because all of the regulars there were always trying to get with her, and that would be hard on any relationship but especially on a relationship involving Ben, someone who was so over protective of the ones he loved. She smiled, nodding her head as she snapped back to reality, finding herself too far in her own thoughts. “Yeah, I’d like that.” It wasn’t a lie- she would like to get dinner with Ben, she just knew how easy it would be for her to fall back into him. He was undeniably irresistible to her. “I was going to get some coffee now if you’d like to join me, and we can plan for dinner.” She commented, attaching her leash to Sirius as she looked over at Ben for a response.

He watched her every move, anxious to see how she would react to him. So far, it wasn’t great. She could never keep her eyes at his level, or rather could never keep them on him at all. He couldn’t blame her though, these types of reunions are sure to hold a few awkward silences and avoided eye contact. He found his shoes particularly more interesting, feeling that if he kept his eyes on her for too long, she would feel insecure or something so much so that she would cut this interaction short. And he couldn’t have that. Sure, he’s been purposefully avoiding her but to see her again was unlike anything he thought it would be. He felt happy to be around someone he had loved so dearly, not to mention being around someone who doesn’t want to be around you felt weirdly empowering. “That’s good.” He nodded, slowly. Not really picking up the vibes that she wholeheartedly believed that herself. Truth is, he had lied too. Ever since the split, he has been looking for anything to keep his mind off that idiotic behaviour he displayed when they were together. His body went stiff when she brought up the dreaded question. It wasn’t a horrible question, and he would answer it easily if he only knew what her situation was. He would hate to hear that she was seeing someone or sleeping with someone. Not that she would disclose that with him, but the thought made his blood boil. Her with someone else, getting touched by anyone other than him wasn’t something he liked to think about. But he couldn’t very well tell her that, not to mention he shouldn’t be thinking like that considering that kind of behaviour caused him to lose her in the first place. He wasn’t seeing anyone. In the moment, he wish he were to create the illusion that he wasn’t missing her. “I’m.. not. No.” He admitted hesitantly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know, so he did the stupid thing ad changed the subject. “How’s the practice doing?”

#OH MY GOD IT'S OKAY I ALWAYS GET CARRIED AWAY

It was hard to be here, hard to see him, hard to hear his voice. She couldn’t keep her eyes on him and yet, she couldn’t keep them off of him either. He looked good not that it was ever like Ben to look bad. He had always been devilishly handsome, one of the things that had caused Rhea to be so attracted to him in the first place. “Yeah it’s good.” How many times were the two of them going to use the word good? There was a million other words and in the moment, her mind was completely blank. She had envisioned them meeting a million times in her head- what she would say, how she would present herself, but none of them prepared her for the real thing. It was like her breath was getting caught in her throat every few seconds. The brunette felt an odd sense of relief when he admitted he wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment. “Me either.” Her response was too quick, too obvious. She was eager for him to know she was still single, why? She had called things off between them, not him. There was no reason for her to be feeling like this. “It’s doing well- my mom fully handed it over to me. It’s a struggle, keeping me busy and all, but over all it’s going really well. I love the people and I love the animals.” The brunette lifted her eyes to meet his again, the familiar dark brown hues causing her heart to melt as usual. Her knees growing weak, her face turning a slight shade of red. “How’s the whole... paramedic thing?” Well put, Rhea. She cursed herself, feeling like a complete fool for being this affected by his presence after all this time. “Did you want to maybe grab coffee.. or dinner sometime?” It was a stupid question, that would probably lead to stupid things but she couldn’t help herself.

Best lays?

@dammitjaz @austenamelia @benjamincoreyfischer @aaronjourdan

#Anonymous

Five favorite people in town?

Austen, Alex, Jaz, Lola, and Rhea.

#I feel honored

What's up with you and ava?

“Who knows anymore.”

#Anonymous

honesty hour

#afhqhh

“I think we all do. I personally just try to bottle mine up as much as possible. Because it’s not pretty. Well it worked. And look how it turned out, guess you shouldn’t have been pretending. Would have saved me a lot of bullshit to deal with. We live and we learn. You should take it as a compliment. It might get you bonus points.”

“Well yeah, I mean you’ve seen mine- it’s not exactly pretty. Yeah well, we’re not together now, so it doesn’t matter. Sorry bout that. I’m always looking for bonus points, especially with someone as charming as you.”

“Most of the time is more than I expected, if I’m being honest. But then again, we weren’t all that friendly right off the bat. I think you’re better than you think you are. Not quite? What does that mean exactly? I’m flattered.”

“Hey, I have a pretty brutal side to me, but it’s only brought out in certain circumstances. If I’m being honest when we first met I was just pretending to be Ava’s girlfriend because she wanted to piss you off. Now that I look back on it- I made a shitty mistake. I shouldn’t have done that. Hm, I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment. Are you? Does flattery get me bonus points with you?”

The last time he was this nervous was when he took Rhea on their first date. It seemed so long ago from where they were now. He hadn’t seen her since the engagement was called off, because he avoided every place Rhea went. But he hardly knew when she would be here or there, so he thought the park was safe. Although, he could hardly deny the excitement of seeing the love of his life again. Her chocolate hair cascading down her shoulders as the sun hit the strands so they reflected the light. Her eyes gazed up at him as she stopped a few feet away. He held in a breath that he hadn’t realized he took as he heard her first word to him since the break up. He faked a small smile as he acknowledged her. “Don’t worry about it. They were always really close.” He managed to reply, as casually as possible. But he was positive his eyes were giving away what he was really feeling, the longing, the suffering. “I’ve uh, been fine. How, are you? You doing good?” He asked, quite pathetically he might add.

Rhea nodded when Ben mentioned them being really close. “That they were.” She mumbled, clearing her throat a bit awkwardly. She made the mistake of making eye contact with him, instantly she could feel everything he was. All the pain, all the regret. Turning on her heel she averted her eyes, looking around at all the trees which suddenly seemed so interested blowing in the light breeze that surrounded them. She felt completely engulfed in emotion- not prepared to see her ex for the first time in such a public place. “Yeah- I guess I’ve been good.” Truthfully she hadn’t. She had been feeling so out of place lately. Struggling to take over her mother’s veterinarian practice, she had called off the closest thing she had had to a relationship since him, and she had also had sex with an almost complete stranger- not something she did all the time. Or ever actually. She shrugged and stuffed her hands into her jeans pockets. “Seeing anyone now?” It would have been an odd question to anyone but them. For some reason she had to know.

“Oh no? Not all the time? I’ve seen a pattern of you being nice lately, so I don’t buy it. I hope not, I happen to take pride in my romancing abilities. Your girls, huh? I’m one of your girls now?”

“Not all the time actually; just most of the time. I would be too, but unfortunately I’m not as great as romancing as you are. Hm, not quite one of my girls. I was just saying. My type is feisty, and you fit the bill.”

“You don’t doubt it? Well, that makes me very proud now. I’ll have to take your word for it. As long as they work to my advantage, I’m happy. No, not that. The you liking my temper. Because now I know that if you upset me and I get mad, it’s something you enjoy.”