In which best friends Daphne Ayala and Glenn Rhee form a ring of survivors that would pave the way for the new world.
** This story will eventually have a Rick Grimes romance (SLOW BURN) but focuses on Daphne's story after the fall. It may deviate from the events of the tv show and at times won't follow a specific script or season. There will be switching POVs (Characters/1st/3rd Person).
chapters!
prologue —
in the present time, rick grimes experiences what hell on earth truly is.
chapter one ; partners —
unbeknownst to them, best friends glenn rhee and daphne ayala spend the last 48 hours of normalcy they’ll ever have before their lives are changed forever.
chapter two ; the evacuation —
the statewide evacuation is underway and it goes terribly wrong terribly fast. daphne and glenn undergo an impromptu rescue mission and soon their group of two becomes a group of 5.
chapter three ; the group —
it's been a month since the complete collapse of civilization. when daphne and glenn realize this is their new way of life, they begin to strategize the best ways of survival. along with the new members of the group, they fall into a steady routine, until a one-sided fight breaks out and everything is knocked out of order.
chapter four ; the idiot in the tank —
a supply run goes wrong and daphne finds herself reunited with an old acquaintance. old feelings unwillingly resurface but she forgets one big glaring problem back at camp.
chapter five ; maneater --
glenn and rick try out a new technique in order to survive and reunite with the rest of the group. back at camp, daphne and shane reach an understanding.
chapter six ; love rectangle —
rick confides in daphne for reasons unknown to her. as she offers him counsel, daphne is also grappling with conflicting feelings of her own.
chapter seven ; chef boyardee —
the plan goes wrong. daphne and glenn find themselves in a precarious situation but at least they have each other, right?
chapter eight ; the attack —
in a rush to deescalate what they presumed was merle's fury on camp, daphne and the crew arrive to something terrifyingly different.
extras;
rick’s pov (chapter six)
Important Character Info:
Daphne Ayala. She's a 23-year-old Latina woman who's working towards becoming a detective (hopefully for the FBI or some higher agency one day). As part of her training, she has to complete a few years of service in whatever local police department has an opening. You can see where this is going right? Her best friend is Glenn Rhee, with whom she shares an apartment with, and they're practically attached at the hip.
Rick Grimes has been aged down a bit though his actual age was never mentioned in the show. I imagine he's around 29, nearing 30 at the beginning of season 1. That would make Carl 9 years old (rather than 12 as he was in the show).
Hello AO3/Tumblr! I write under the pseudonym, Elle (She/Her)! I'm a Caribbean, South American brown writer who loves wayyy too many universes/fandoms lol. Current hyperfixation-- you guessed it: The Walking Dead. I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to comment anything that comes to mind while reading. I absolutely love reading what you all have to say (I have previously written for Wattpad and Tumblr).
summary: in a rush to deescalate what they presumed was merle's fury on camp, daphne and the crew arrive to something terrifyingly different.
notes: my apologies for the overall slow pacing of the story. i promise it's gonna get exciting after we wrap up the first season. and also sorry for the rushing at the end there's not much i can change about the CDC without fucking up the whole storyline after so i'm just trying to get through it fast.
Screams echoed from the rock quarry and every step we took felt like two steps back.
Maybe it was our desperation to get there but it felt like the journey only got longer and longer. I gripped my knife tightly, pistol locked and loaded in my right hand. I led the group through the darkness, my speed being the fastest, but Rick was right on my heels.
"SHANE!" I yelled as soon as we made it over the big hill where we would've parked the truck. Had Merle not stolen it.
What I saw was the opposite of what I thought it was gonna be.
Instead of Merle taking vengeance on the camp, it was a herd of walkers. Biting into members of the group, tearing chunks of flesh clean off the bone as they screamed. Gunshots were flying from every angle.
I spotted Dale with his rifle firing rounds. I rushed over, dodging walkers as they reached out at any living thing.
"Dale! Where's Shane?!" I hollered, shooting off rounds of my own.
The camp was a complete mess, guts and blood all over our sacred place.
"He was with Lori and Carl last I saw 'em," he said over the blasts of his rifle. "By his tent."
I rushed out a 'thank you' before fighting my way to his side of camp, glancing around to make sure Glenn was okay. He stayed by Dale, shooting at every walker in radius.
A pair of hands suddenly grabbed onto my sleeves, roughly shaking me as a growl reached my ears. The smell of death penetrated my nostrils. Swinging my left hand back, my knife went straight into the walker's forehead. I looked back to make sure and then kicked the body away.
I marched forward, a gasp of relief leaving me as I finally spotted Shane. He had Lori and Carl behind him as he shot down countless walkers, a scowl etched on his face.
The scowl eased away as soon as his eyes found mine. His lips parted in shock. "DAPHNE!" He hollered, jerking his head.
I followed suit, sprinting over fallen walkers until I got to them.
"Morales!" Shane was yelling. "Work up here!"
"Get behind me! Come on!" Lori yelled at me, reaching her hand out so I could grip onto it. She hauled me over one of the dead walkers, bringing me next to her and Carl.
I immediately began shooting, wondering how the hell it had gone south so quick. We had the rest of the guns back in camp; there was enough weapons to defend the group against this attack. What the hell happened?
I had no time to think about it. All I could see in front of me were the walkers, stumbling with teeth bared, ready to bite into any one of us.
My arms began to ache the more I shot bullets but I couldn't let up. Beside me, Shane had his back against mine, covering all bases.
"Make your way to the winnebago!" Shane commanded. Carol came breaking through the dead, her daughter clutched against her side. Then Rick and the rest suddenly broke through to our side of camp, where the last of the walkers were attacking.
"CARL!" Rick hollered. "LORI!"
"DAD!" Carl broke free from his mother's grip, sprinting straight into Rick's arms, sobbing in terror.
I set my sights on the last walker standing, sending two bullets. One into its chest, the other into its head. I watched as two more bullets entered its forehead and looked beside me to see Shane lowering his own rifle.
As soon as everything died down, my arms dropped. And my legs suddenly felt weak. I stumbled despite my best efforts, my temples pounding. "Hey," Shane rushed over, grabbing my waist firmly. I tried to look at him but the world was spinning too fast.
"Goddamn concussion," I mumbled as I held back the urge to vomit. It seemed like the hours-long jog and the fight hit me like a truck.
"She got knocked in the temple earlier!" Glenn came running over, his face twisted in concern. I gave him a look, not willing to open my mouth in case I threw up everywhere.
Thankfully, he understood, grabbing my arms and pulling me away from Shane. Instantly, the bout of weakness took over and the world turned into pitch black darkness.
When I woke up, it had evidently been more than a few hours. It was daytime, the sun beating down on us harder than it had in a while.
I was covered in a thin layer of sweat, shielded by the security of mine and Glenn's tent. It was surprisingly spared from last night's attack. I pushed my body up as everything came rushing back to me, ready to run out of the tent.
"Hey—"
My hand found the knife that was still strapped to my side, swinging on impulse. I was frightened, traumatized from what I'd seen last night.
"Hey, you're okay!"
The voice registered in my head at once and I dropped the weapon like I'd gotten burnt. "I'm sorry," I gasped, trying to calm my racing heart.
"It's okay, Daph. It's okay." A hand grabbed my shoulder, giving me a gentle shake as our breathing filled the tent. I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down and listening to all the outside noises.
Nothing but soft murmurs and birds chirping.
I cleared my throat. "How many did we lose?"
Silence was my only response and I dared to open my eyes, meeting Shane's downcast gaze.
"It's hard to tell."
"You're lying," I said instantly. Shane would be the first to know. We were both assumed leaders of our group.
"Ten or so... Amy..."
My head turned in shock. "Andrea?"
Shane shook his head. "Unresponsive."
I figured. There was no one in this entire world she cared about more than her little sister. We sat in silence, remembering Amy and all the others that fell last night. Except Ed.
I spared Shane a glance in my peripheral, trying to see if he was looking too affected. One look at his face and I was reminded of what had transpired yesterday morning.
I clenched my jaw in irritation, wondering whether I should confront him about his shifty behaviors. It was probably the worst time for this but I needed to know why he was still pursuing me so intensely if he had a thing going with Lori this whole time.
I refused to be anyone's side piece.
"We don't burn them!" I suddenly heard someone yell. Glenn. I scrambled to my feet and stepped over Shane, concussion be damned.
Outside there was a complete and utter mess. Walkers and our people scattered in dried pools of blood, random clumps of guts on the ground. My stomach twisted uncomfortably but I marched on, determined to figure out what had made Glenn uncharacteristically lash out.
"You reap what you sow!" Daryl called back at Glenn, helping Morales drag one of our dead to a separate pile they'd created for them.
"You know what?" Morales snapped. "Shut up, man."
"Y'all left my brother for dead! You had this coming!" Daryl spat, storming away.
I walked over to Glenn and he seemed disappointed to see me up and about. "I told Shane to make sure you got enough rest."
"I did. Now I want to help."
Glenn rolled his eyes at Daryl's back. "Pretty sure Daryl and Morales got it covered for now. You shouldn't be doing heavy lifting."
"A walker got him," said Jacqui loudly. We all turned to find her backing away from Jim, who was sweating profusely. His shirt was saturated with blood. "A walker bit him!"
"I'm okay," Jim insisted weakly as he backed away from the forming circle. We caged him in, each wondering what the hell we were gonna do now. Of course Shane, Glenn and I had talked about this type of situation before. But this was Jim. A survivor like us.
"Show it to us," demanded Daryl, approaching dangerously with an axe.
Jim startled, grabbing the nearest weapon in defense.
Shane came marching from my tent. "Easy, Jim."
"Grab him!"
"Put it down, Jim!"
"Grab him!"
We all began to yell over each other, one side trying to diffuse the situation, the other (Daryl) demanding to grab him. T-Dog took initiative, seizing Jim's arms from the back so Daryl could pull up his shirt.
"Jesus," I said under my breath. The teeth marks were as clear as day, a clean bite near the middle of his abdomen.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," repeated Jim nervously. He was clearly in denial and I felt horrible for him. There was no way around this-- he'd die a gruesome death and become a walker if we didn't put him down.
"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," said Daryl as we stood around in an impromptu meeting. We'd directed Jim to sit away from the uninfected.
"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane asked.
"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it," Daryl sneered.
Dale shook his head. "I hate to say it-- I never thought I would-- but maybe Daryl's right."
I looked at him in surprise. Dale was the last person I would expect to agree with Dixon. Still, I stayed silent, trying to gather everyone's opinions before putting in my own.
"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog." Rick said.
"I'm not suggesting--"
"He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"
"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be."
I hate to admit it, but Daryl's got a point. I could see where Rick was coming from, but it was pretty damn clear to me that this world wasn't gonna get any better. It would only get worse from here and eventually, we'd have to get our hands dirty.
"I will admit, it feels inhumane to kill Jim but we aren't going to be able to keep him alive. That's a fact. Point, blank, period," I cut everyone off. "It simply isn't in our power. He's gonna die no matter what at the end of the day and keeping him around will guarantee that any number of us will too."
Daryl motioned to me gratefully, looking like he thought I was the only one with common sense.
"Well, what if we can get him help?" Rick turned to me first, focusing his full attention on me. I suddenly felt the heavy weight of leadership within seconds. Everyone looked to me and Rick.
"What?"
What the hell kind of help were we going to be able to get him?
"I heard the CDC was working on a cure."
"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell," interjected Shane.
"What if the CDC is still up and running?" Rick ignored Shane.
"Unlikely--" "Man, that is a stretch right there." Shane and I spoke at the same time. I gave him a side-eye, wondering how he had the nerve to even speak to Rick right now.
Rick seemed to have the same thoughts as me, giving Shane a hard glare before pointedly speaking to me again. "Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection, food."
I waited for him to finish. Shane seemed to be on the verge of exploding next to me so I held a subtle hand up in his direction.
"If there was any government at all, don't you think we would've heard or seen something?" I wanted to be optimistic but it had been too long without a sign.
"You know there's a chance, Daphne," Rick bent lower to meet my eyes full-on. "I know you do. And if there's a possibility that we can stop this from happening again, don't you think we should try?"
I hated the way he was looking at me, as if he knew the exact way to get me to agree. Half of it was the words he was saying, the other half was the way the sun was hitting his pale blue eyes just right.
My lips parted as I struggled to find an argument.
On another hand, I did owe it to everyone I'd welcomed to camp to try. I left yesterday and this happened. It wasn't entirely my fault- I couldn't stop a herd of walkers by myself if I tried- and Shane had stayed behind but like it or not, the both of us started this thing together. We set up camp, we found other survivors, we invited them in.
In a way, this was on me.
I looked between Rick and Shane, who were both staring at me expectingly. Rick with that naive hope in his eyes; Shane with utter and complete disapproval, waiting for me to take his side.
I was trapped. I spluttered slightly, trying to figure out who to fucking choose—
Shane's face dropped in disappointment and disbelief, turning to his former partner instead. "Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right? We do, too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base, Fort Benning."
"That's a hundred miles in the opposite direction," noted Lori.
"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. If that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'll be safe there."
"We'd still have the same problem," I hissed quietly so Jim wouldn't hear. "Jim would still be sick and I know for a fact Fort Benning doesn't have the same medical capabilities as the CDC."
"You're agreeing with him?" Shane asked incredulously. He obviously didn't give a damn about airing out our drama in front of the whole group.
"Look, what you're saying makes perfect sense, Shane." I quickly tried to diffuse, grabbing onto his forearm without thinking it through. "But so does Rick. The CDC is the only chance this world has at beating this thing. What's happening to Jim and all these people, it's a disease. We'd be running in the opposite direction away from that."
"The military were on the front lines of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen that," Rick argued with a glare finally directed at Shane. His eyes traveled between his former partner, my hand on his forearm, and me. I realized with a jolt that I was still hanging onto him and let go as if I'd been burnt. Rick's look alone reminded me of all the goddamn lies Shane fed me.
"The military's first response was to try to kill us. Was it not?" I added, glancing at Lori so I could avoid Shane's stare. I know she remembered the day I saved them well, how the army pointed their guns at her and her son. "What do you think they're gonna do when we try to roll up there with an infected person?"
"The CDC is our best choice and Jim's only chance." Rick finished as soon as I did and gave me a grateful nod. I don't even know how we ended up teaming against Shane but I could tell he felt ganged up on.
"You go grab that aspirin you brought," Daryl said to me suddenly. "Do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" He hollered as he turned around and rushed toward Jim with the pickaxe aiming for his head.
"HEY!" I grabbed the shovel Jim had dropped and sprinted to stop Daryl. Rick pointed a gun at his head and clicked the safety off. Immediately, Daryl froze, weapon raised in the air. Jim heaved in terror, staring up at him like an animal prepped for slaughter.
"We don't kill the living." Rick said firmly. Shane wedged himself in front of Jim as Daryl slowly lowered the pickaxe and turned to eye Rick distastefully.
"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."
"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on," insisted Shane. I could see Rick breathing heavily from my spot next to him, gun still pointed. Daryl threw the pickaxe down and stormed away.
Rick grabbed Jim and began to lead him away from camp so I followed. Shane lingered behind, keeping a suspicious eye on Andrea who was still hovering over Amy's corpse.
I watched as Rick sat Jim down far away. He joined me after, standing by the cars.
We stared at each other in silence.
I was the first one to break it. "You okay?"
His lip curled in frustration, glaring at the sun. He rested his hands on his hips and looked at the ground.
I wanted to ask if he had confronted Lori, but it truly wasn't any of my business. And the answer was pretty obvious.
"Thanks ...for backing me up," Rick changed the subject.
"You're right. The CDC is our best option. If they're not operational, then at least we'll know."
"Yeah, while putting the rest of the group in danger."
What kind of hypocritical back and forth was this?
"We owe it to everyone to try. Especially Jim. Look, Shane's plan would've probably gotten us all killed. You didn't get to see it but when this whole thing started, the military pointed their guns at us first. The living. If the base is operational, there's no way we would've made it past the front gates alive." When did I start defending this plan? "Besides, if it all goes sideways, we'll have our getaway car and more than enough weapons to protect the kids."
Rick gave me a sideways smile, looking a lot less tense. "You're right. He just got me overthinking."
"Well, it's always good to run your ideas by others."
Rick stared at me for a long moment and I started to feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. "What?"
"Nothin', this just suits you."
I snorted. "What does? Putting Shane in his place?"
"Being a leader." He clarified.
"Yeah? Well, I didn't choose to be," I sighed, looking back at the state of our group. Half dead and the other half mingling about, no doubt discussing our two options.
Rick smiled tightly and clasped a hand over my shoulder as he walked past me, heading straight over to Carl. His little face lit up as he noticed his father, cheeks chewing on the multivitamin gummy Carol had handed out to each of the children.
I swallowed thickly. Whether the group agreed or not, we had no other option but the CDC or wandering from one place to the next. Fort Benning just couldn't happen.
Mostly everyone agreed that heading to Atlanta was the way to go. Only Morales and his family had opted out, taking one of the cars and a pistol and heading their separate way.
On the journey, we'd ended up dropping Jim off by the edge of the woods after hours of him pleading and begging.
It wasn't easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things we'd ever had to do, but it was for the best. Jim knew he wouldn't survive the trip to Atlanta and he thankfully warned us of such. The last thing we needed was for him to die and reanimate on the road.
After, we weren't exactly sure whether we should've kept heading in the same direction but Lori brought up a good point. We were already more than half way there. It would be a waste of gas to turn around now.
We had to cling onto the little hope that ahead of us waited our salvation.
But of course, the world played us for fools.
We found the CDC in the same state as everything else. Deprecated and destroyed, crawling with flies and maggots. The dead scattered by the hundreds and thankfully at the very least, completely dead.
But when the reanimated ones did start showing up, probably from Shane and Rick having a rather loud go, I wasn't sure what would kill us first— the smell or the walkers.
"Shut up! Shut up, you're attracting more of them!" I pleaded as quietly as I could, grabbing a pistol from my belt and holding it anxiously.
Some of the others had began running back to the cars but Lori and I were incessantly pleading with the two men to just give up and run before it was too late.
I could understand Rick's desperation. His family was here, his wife and his boy were counting on him to keep them safe and he'd led them to a dead end. But if he didn't stop screaming at the broken surveillance camera, he would get us all killed.
"Rick, please!" I gripped his arm, trying to pull him away but Shane pushed me back, trying to tackle Rick angrily.
"If you don't let us in, you're killing us, you hear me?!" Rick continued. "YOU'RE KILLING US!"
Shane finally got a good grip on Rick's shirt and began to drag him away forcefully.
"YOU'RE KILLING US!" He kept repeating.
I backed away from the CDC with my heart in my throat, a sense of impending doom as I realized this was it.
Just as we finally turned around, as Rick yelled out in frustration once more, as the numerous walkers began to appear—
A miracle happened.
I could've fallen to my knees if it wasn't for Shane grabbing onto me in shock. Glenn ran to my side, snatching his red hat off and staring at the shutters as they opened and blinded us immediately.
Inside— our salvation.
I wasted no time, grabbing onto Carl and Lori and dragging us into the building with Glenn.
There was a chorus of voices as we all rushed in but my attention was stolen by the stranger who stood pointing a rifle at us. I found it hard to believe a doctor would be handling a gun within this fortress.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked loudly, causing everyone to fall silent.
The man stared at us in disbelief.
Feeling my heart plummet, I shared a weary glance with Glenn. This can't be good.
here's a little look at what's going through rick's mind after the lori/shane bombshell. this should give more background to rick and daphne's 'relationship' before the fall.
also take it easy. this was written very quickly without much revision. just a fun little dive into rick's thought process during this scene
"Oh, really? Does a brother fuck your wife?"
I didn't understand what Daryl had said at first. The shock kept me rooted in my spot as he scoffed and then stormed off into the trees.
Does a brother fuck your wife?
A rage crept in as Shane began to shuffle uncomfortably, mere feet away from me. He wasn't even trying to deny it.
"She... Lori... she thought you were dead, man."
I suddenly knew this wasn't just sex. The first thing he'd done was defend her honor rather than his own. Was he in love with her?
My jaw clicked as I clenched my teeth together angrily. The betrayal was almost enough to blind me in rage. Our marriage was on the rocks for almost a year before my coma, but we were still married. Someone I'd trusted with everything knew the mother of my children intimately.
"Did you?" I bit out. After all, he was the one who had last seen me at the hospital.
"You heard 'em. I—I tried, Rick! I saw you every chance I got—"
His words flew into one ear and out the other. I couldn't think of anything but how much I wanted to knock his teeth out.
"—we were comforting each other the only way we knew how—"
Holding onto my sanity was surprisingly difficult. I always had a feeling Lori had her affections directed elsewhere. All our arguments and fighting, the things she'd say in front of Carl— the thought of infidelity wasn't out of reach. I'd even come to accept the possibility of it, because outside of my house, I wasn't doing much better. Could I even be upset with her? I never cheated on my wife, but my attention had been fixed on another for quite some time.
"I thought you were gone." It was the only thing I could manage to say, if I wasn't going to send my fist flying into his face, at the very least I could try to express the hurt. He needed to know that this broke everything we had.
"After I woke up in that hospital bed, when I saw what the world had become. The first thing I thought about was Carl and Lori. And then you. Our unit. For a moment, I thought you were all dead—" The words got stuck in my throat as I recalled the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind when I woke. How I mourned my best friend.
I could barely stand to look at his face. My eyes stung and I forced myself to look him squarely. He did this to me. He did.
"Our marriage... fell apart a long time ago," I shook his head and clenched my jaw. "But that doesn't make this okay."
He knew this already. Hell, if I recalled correctly, it was the grand topic of our final conversation before the world went to shit.
Shane was normally so outspoken, always had a goddamn thing to say. A quip. A disagreement. Always something.
But now he was deadly silent, guilt must be brewing in him. Good.
I was only able to push the murderous thoughts out of my mind when I remembered that my son was only alive because of him and Daphne. It was the only thing sparing him. From what? I wasn't too sure.
"I appreciate what you did. Saving 'em. I owe you everythin' but—" I forced through my teeth, digging my nails into my palms.
In this moment, I realized I couldn't confront Lori. I couldn't destroy whatever semblance of family we had left. It's a miracle we were still alive and that we found each other. That I found my boy.
We're still out in the woods, unprotected and exposed. Tomorrow was not promised. And until it was, until I could guarantee my family would live to see more sunrises, I couldn't destroy what they had built here. Otherwise, we would not survive.
"I get it, man. I'll go back to camp."
"Uh— yeah, yeah," I said dismissively. My anger could only hold off for so long.
As soon as he stomped away, I allowed myself to glance at his retreating back, confirming what I suspected since yesterday afternoon. The look on his face— the shock of seeing me— it wasn't happy. Maybe, just maybe, part of him wanted me gone for good.
The thought sent my fist barreling into the nearest tree trunk, a frustrated yell tried to escape but I kept my lips firmly shut. I didn't need Shane coming back, if he cared at all that is.
Somewhere in the jumbled thoughts that were fighting to make some sense of anything in my mind, I remembered the one thing that had brought me any type of comfort when Lori and I would argue. Which was practically everyday.
"How long you been there?" I asked softly. I knew she would hear me. I'd seen her brown eyes through the bush as Daryl led us farther from camp.
The branches rustled a bit.
"I was here first," her voice was defensive. I couldn't blame her. Witnessing what she just witnessed.
I tried to spot her curls through the bush but she seemed to have camouflaged herself within the leaves.
"You were. I saw you just before Daryl left."
And out she finally came, her cheeks flushed and her hair in a bit of a disarray, but the sight of her brought back memories from the station. At work, she usually had her hair pulled back, two curls framing her face while she sipped a steaming hot coffee. She was always there before me so I would choose the long way to my assigned desk, which was in a completely different wing, just to catch a glimpse at her. The sight of her was a breath of fresh air after rough nights of arguing with Lori. Daphne had an aura to her that made just about everyone gravitate to her. Bitterly, I also remembered that Shane tainted most of my memories of Daphne Ayala.
Always lingering around her desk, conveniently posed right in front of her whenever I would walk in. It wasn't odd for her to be busy with another officer, most of the department had a crush on her as grown as we all were. But Shane's appearances always seemed deliberate.
"I was picking berries. Found the patch a few weeks ago," she explained, showing me her pouch of fruit.
How odd it was to see her outside the precinct. Her hair was down, curls reaching her lower back as she brushed them away from her eyes. Eyes that weren't framed by her usual eyeliner style.
She looked so jarringly beautiful in a world so terribly gruesome.
I hoped my anger would mask how unsettled I was that we were actually speaking, after years of observing her from afar. Did she know I was as hopelessly attracted to her as nearly everyone else in the KCPD?
"I can leave you alone."
I realized with a jolt I've spent so much time staring that I'd forgotten to speak.
"I'll go back to camp—"
"No." I said more assertively than I meant to. I didn't want her to slip away again. She was always a mystery I wanted to solve but I forced myself to stay away. Despite the problems at home, I was still married. And now? Well, it was all in shambles.
"Oh, um, okay."
"Do you..." What am I trying to say? My mind went blank. But I looked at Daphne's eyes obscured by her curls and her work updo came to mind. And then her shadow, Shane. "Did you know?"
"No," she said looking rather uncomfortable.
"I keep wondering... if I have the right to even be upset. I wasn't a good husband to her, I know this, and you're the last person I should be telling this to but—" I cut myself short, the words slipping past my lips before I could think them through. I practically gave myself away and it was wishful thinking to hope that it had flown over her head. Daphne was a detective for crying out loud.
"It's fine. I know this can't be easy for you. To wake up to... this."
I scoffed. It wasn't easy to see the world flipped upside down sure, but the most selfless person was standing right in front of me. The one who had saved my family's lives at the risk of her own. She was keeping them and the rest of the camp alive. People she didn't even know.
"I woke up and the hardest part was done. Seeing the world change— changing with it— becoming the leader of a group you had no responsibilities or ties to. You, you did the hard part."
She seemed taken aback. "Oh— did Shane—?"
"Shane didn't hafta tell me nothin'. Lori and I talked last night. She told me everything that happened since the day I got shot." Saying their names left a bad taste in my mouth. "I guess I have a lot to be thankin' you for. You saved my family. That is something I will never be able to repay."
I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You have my gratitude."
"Carl's a great kid. And Lori's my friend. I would do it a million times over."
She's a goddamn angel. I studied her face in awe, something I'd never been able to do in the years I admired her from afar. There was just something about her.
Her nose crinkled awkwardly as her brown eyes struggled to look into mine. Her lips turned up into a tiny smile. I had to remind myself that I'm married and step away respectfully before it got weird.
I brought myself to the ground, legs feeling weak from everything I'd endured in the past 48 hours. Daphne sat next to me.
"What... what do I do?" I asked her quietly.
She's a detective. She's light years smarter than I'd ever be.
"You're asking me," she said carefully.
I shrugged and looked at our surroundings obnoxiously.
"I can't really tell you what to do, Rick."
I rolled my eyes as I thought of Shane's guilty expression. "What I really want to do is break his jaw in. Watch him choke on his teeth."
"He deserves it," she agreed with an irritated tone.
Now that I thought of it, I hadn't seen Shane and Daphne interact once. A stark contrast to his relentless pursuing day in and day out at work. Maybe they had a falling out.
I sighed. "I don't know how to go on. How to look him in the face. We were brothers," I got angrier as I went on. "He was my best friend. He knew."
"He knew?"
"He was the one person I confided in. I told him about Lori and I. I told him when things started going south. I never thought in a million years I'd have to worry."
"We never do. They fill our heads with all these stupid promises and reassurances just to stab you right in the back anyway," she said.
I would've paid more mind to her comment but I was too wrapped up imagining how Lori and Shane would sneak off. How she'd leave Carl alone with people she barely knew.
Carl.
He's wrapped up in the middle of this. I'm sure he noticed all the fights between us. Lori never bothered to keep our discussions private. But even if I entertained the thought of just destroying whatever was left of our marriage, I couldn't do it now. Not while he needed his parents more than ever.
"Carl... he's so young," I expressed. I felt guilty that I was rambling so that's all I said. I wasn't sure why I was telling her so much— I'm not a particularly open person— but it's easy to talk to her. Natural even.
"Rick, the world isn't the same anymore. It doesn't excuse Lori's actions or Shane's, but all of that doesn't matter so much when you're trying to keep yourself from getting eaten by dead cannibals. I can't tell you what to do but in the grand scheme of things, I think Carl will learn to understand."
She's right, I thought. But things were too unstable, we were living life one day to the next... it had to wait until we weren't constantly looking over our shoulders.
I stared at the blueberries, willing myself to think of anything else.
"I've been thinking about the man we left behind," was the first thing I could think of. The guilt kept me up half the night.
Daphne looked over at me with a shocked expression. "You can't be serious."
Her reaction made me frown. "It isn't right. Leaving him up there to die."
"He would do the same to any of us. You just escaped the city. Survived alone against all odds. You're willing to risk that for a douchebag like Merle?"
I was confused, more shocked than anything. It didn't sit right with me— it was practically murder. She must know this. Douchebag or not, it would stain us forever if we left the man to cook in the sun.
"This— what we have here— this is what we focus on. It's unfortunate but Merle dug his own grave. It isn't worth risking your life, Rick."
No, I wouldn't accept that. And I didn't think she could live with that either. My face twisted uncomfortably as I tried to rationalize. She's right that it would be putting my life on the line, but it would kill not only me, but her, if I don't go. All those years of watching from a distance, I knew she had a big heart.
Her callousness and the iciness in her tone was so different from her usual behavior. I didn't like it, but I could see she was looking out for me—
"MOM! DAD!"
The words disappeared from the tip of my tongue. We both shot up with only one thought in mind— Carl.
[rick grimes x original female character slowburn]
series masterlist
summary: the plan goes wrong. daphne and glenn find themselves in a precarious situation, but at least they have each other, right?
notes: double update. i couldn't help myself. i love this chapter so much for some reason. it just flows together so nicely to me. scratched my brain the right way.
also if you’d like to read a little bit of rick’s pov in the last chapter (6), be sure to check this out.
Glenn's POV
The plan was simple. It wasn't my walkie-talkie lying abandoned in the middle of the intersection, but I was the fastest out of the group.
If we wanted any chance at succeeding, it would have to be me.
And things were going as smoothly as possible, up until I turned into the alley I planned to meet Daryl in, finding a group of strangers instead.
"Who are you?" One of the men snapped immediately.
"Uh—um—" I had no idea what to say, wondering how to stall until Daryl got here. If shit hit the fan, the odds of me winning against three of them weren't high at all.
"He asked you a question, pendejo," said another one.
"He's got a gun," one of them observed quietly, nudging the burliest dude in interest.
Yeah and I'm about to use it on you fuckers if you try anything.
The fence behind me rattled dangerously and I twisted instinctively. The walkers had caught up, pushing against the gate in a chorus of groans.
The next movements happened too fast.
The back of my shirt was seized aggressively and I was thrown into the brick wall, my gun grabbed from my pocket and pointed against my temple.
One of the other guys grabbed my radio and showed it to the other curiously.
"Where did you get the gun, huh?" The guy who held me against the wall by the collar asked.
What the fuck do I say? What do I say? I panicked, a nervous sweat breaking out on my hairline. Where's Daryl?
"Where did you get the goddamn gun? There's gotta be more wherever they came from!" He clicked the safety off.
"Uh, I found it. On—on the road. There was just one." I lied horribly.
"He's lying," the guy with the radio sneered.
"Are you alone? Are there others?"
I thought of Daphne and how she had no clue how badly shit just hit the fan. "It's just me." I said quickly.
"I don't believe you, puto. Tell the truth before I blow your goddamn brains out!"
The fence creaked dangerously. I side-glanced, hoping it wouldn't collapse.
"I am," I winced at the harshness of the barrel.
"Glenn?"
Fuck. We all looked at the CB in the dude's hand, my heart dropping to my feet.
"Glenn, can you hear me?"
"Alone, huh?" He pressed his gun even harder and grabbed the radio from his friend. "Who the fuck is this?"
"Glenn, I'm at the store. We missed some things. Are you guys finished?"
Daph, for the love of God, shut the fuck up. Please.
"The store? Y'all found a place that hasn't been ransacked?"
I stayed silent.
"Listen to me, boy. I want you to answer her. No funny business. You understand me?" He curled his finger around the trigger.
"Okay," I gasped, watching as he brought the radio close to my mouth. He pressed the button.
"Daphne?" The first sign I hoped would give her a hint thatsomething was not right. I usually called her Daph. "Daphne, uh, we-we found Hector. Um, but I think he's with Shane."
We didn't even know a Hector. Before the fall or now. But these guys didn't know that.
"What?" She responded.
I made tense eye contact with the gunman.
"The signal must be cutting out. He's with S—Shane."
"Um, okay... can you meet me here? I think there's a good amount of things we can take back."
"Ask her where she's at," the buzzcut demanded.
"You're on the corner of Penn and Seventh, right?" I prayed to any force above that she wasn't a complete idiot.
"No, on the corner of Peachtree and Third. What the fuck is going on?"
I cringed instantly. She is an idiot.
The three men all stared at me blankly.
"I'm geologically challenged?" I winced, hoping he wouldn't shoot.
Keeping the gun pressed to my head, they began to drag me to the opposite end of the alleyway where there was a running car.
"HEY!"
Daryl came running down the alley all of a sudden, crossbow at the ready as he tried to figure out which guy to shoot at.
"Let's go!" The burly dude yelled, slamming the back door open.
Daryl got tackled by one of the smaller guys, a tussle breaking out on the concrete.
Quickly, I was thrown into the car before Daryl could break free. I watched as they willingly left the kid behind, shifting into drive.
"Let's check out this store."
Daphne's POV
I'm scared shitless.
I wasn't afraid to admit it. At least not out loud. I had no idea why I thought this would be the best option, and had less of an understanding why Glenn agreed with me.
At least Rick had the sense to disagree with the plan. Looking back, I should've just listened to him instead of being petty.
Still, I forced myself to hustle, crossing the empty streets of Atlanta with my heart in my throat.
I was alone. At first, it wasn't my preference but I didn't want to drag anyone on my side mission to retrieve our supplies we'd put aside yesterday. I knew exactly where to go and Glenn was the only one who could safely take the rest of the group back to Merle's rooftop.
I almost dropped to my knees in relief once I safely made it into the mini market tucked at the bottom of a large corporate building.
There was bound to be a few dead stragglers. They did invade this building yesterday. Creeping silently, I held my knife up (Rick gave it back to me before I left) and counted my breaths.
At 3, I lunged out behind the first aisle, ready to stab into walker skull.
There was only three and thankfully, they'd been dead for a while now. Slowly limping with flesh barely clinging to the bone. I could see their skeletons staring back at me, wasted away and rotting. Suppressing this morning's breakfast, I made quick work of the first one, stabbing into its head swiftly before the second one set its sights on me.
Its long hair swung as it turned towards the noise, limping at me with a broken leg. I grunted as it tried to grab onto me, forcing me to back away into the aisle, cans of food rolling by my feet.
"Shit," I hissed, its nails scratching the air beside me. I swung my bloody knife into its temple and grabbed one of the cans, chucking it at the last walker.
It smashed into its forehead, a chunk of skin and brittle bone falling off and effectively knocking it to the ground. Quickly, I stomped on the head without thinking, the crunch giving away to brain matter as it died beneath my foot.
I gagged as I pulled my foot out, shaking the slimy stuff off my shoe. After waiting in silence for a minute, I finally moved again. There was no sound but the rushing wind between the skyscrapers.
Fortunately, our pile of stuff was untouched. Piles of diphenhydramine, ibuprofen, antibiotics, vitamins. Packs of non-perishable food items.
I grabbed my CB, simultaneously stuffing all the medicine into my pack. "Glenn? Glenn, can you hear me?"
I was met with staticky silence. Undeterred, I readjusted some knobs.
"Glenn, I'm at the store. We missed some things. Are you guys finished?"
Dread began to fill me the longer I waited for a response.
"Daphne? Daphne, uh, we-we found Hector. Um, but I think he's with Shane."
I let out a sigh of relief before realizing what the fuck he just said.
"What?" I answered, wondering if he was on drugs.
"The—the signal must be cutting out. He's with S-Shane." Glenn's voice sounded distorted, shaky. Why did he sound so nervous?
Something definitely wasn't right. Unless I'm losing my marbles, Shane definitely threw a hissy fit and stayed at camp and we don't know a single person named Hector.
"Um, okay..." I tried to think of what to say. Were we being listened to? "Can you meet me here? I think there's a good amount of things we can take back."
It took a little longer for Glenn to respond this time. I clutched the walkie in confusion.
"You're on the corner of Penn and Seventh, right?"
"No, on the corner of Peachtree and Third. What the fuck is going on?" In hindsight I probably should have went along with what he was saying, but I got fed up and I'm clearly an idiot.
Silence.
"Glenn?"
I looked at the CB, banging it against my thigh but still there was nothing but static. I rolled my eyes, knowing Glenn can handle his own if nothing else. He'd meet me here.
I went back to the aisle where I'd left the corpses, stepping over the mess of guts and brains. I did two rounds, making a nice pile of Chef Boyardee next to the rest of our supplies.
My arms were aching as I looked down at all the stuff proudly.
"Hands up."
I jolted in surprise, feeling the cold barrel of a gun at the base of my neck.
I did as I instructed, heart pounding against my chest. I didn't know what was worse— finding another walker in here or this.
"Turn around slowly. I wanna see those hands."
I tried not to make any sudden movements, not wanting to die at 23.
Standing before me was a man with buzzed hair, tanned skin and a scowl etched on his lips. He stared at me behind his pistol, just as another man came through the broken windows on the other side of the store.
"She gave herself away," the other one snickered, stepping over the walkers and heading toward the pile behind me.
A horrible thought crossed my mind and I was paralyzed in fear of what they'd do to me.
"You play nice and I won't have to pull this trigger, preciosa."
We waited in tense silence as the other guy stuffed all the canned food in a large sack.
"Other guy had a gun. Check her too."
Other guy? They must have Glenn, Rick or T-Dog.
I made the connections in my head as he patted me down for any weapons, taking my trusty knife that was covered in walker blood.
Glenn sounded nervous, not at all his usual self minutes ago. These assholes must've taken him and tracked me through the CB. Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
"Alright, lights out, princess."
Alarmed, I looked up at the gunman before he swung the gun against my temple hard enough to knock me out.
My head was throbbing as I regained consciousness.
"What the fuck just happened?" I groaned, rubbing my temple and trying to adjust my sensitive eyes to the brightness of wherever I found myself.
"Hey, welcome back to the world of the living."
I pushed myself up into a seated position, giving myself whiplash as I spun to look at Glenn.
He was on the ground next to me, looking as roughed up as I felt.
"What happened?" I demanded, bringing him into a quick embrace. At least he was alive. "Where are we?"
We were in a room with four white walls, empty aside from an empty medical cart and a window that was barred up. The floor was surprisingly clean.
"We ran into some guys. They took my gun. I guess their plan is to lure the others so they can steal the rest of them."
"Fuck," I threw my head down into my hands. "I practically baited them over the walkie, huh? Guns and supplies."
"Yeah," sighed Glenn. He looked utterly defeated, staring at the wall with pure regret.
The door suddenly swung open and in came the same guy that knocked me out. Two other guys came in after him.
My muscles tensed.
"Your little friends are here," he sneered at us before turning to one of the dudes. "Hermano, get them tied up."
I knew better than to try to fight back. I'm pretty sure I'm concussed.
Hastily, they put sacks over our heads and tied cloth over our mouths, the world becoming distorted and incredibly itchy on the eyelids. They tied around our hands, hoisting us up and dragging us out.
I tried to gather as much information as I could, listening for any unusual sounds but the men who were dragging us were too damn loud. Talking about a kid named Miguel and 'some hillbilly.'
Daryl.
I didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more terrified that they were here. God knows how many of them were in this group. How many were loaded with weapons.
A door slammed open ahead of us and suddenly the piercing Atlanta sun beamed onto our bodies, wind whipping my air around. The hand around my arm tightened, halting our walk.
"Oye!" I heard from... below?
I was dragged a few paces before the bag was roughly snatched off my head, a few strands of my hair along with it.
The sun beat mercilessly into my eyes but it wasn't the first thing I noticed.
It was the three story fall that awaited me half a step away.
I gasped against the gag, feeling the man behind me push me forward threateningly. My eyes scanned the scene below.
Daryl and Rick stood in the courtyard, weapons raised, across from a large group of armed men. I found Rick's gaze first, his eyes wide in fear. His grip on the pistol slipped the tiniest bit before his eyes hardened in anger and his lips twisted into a scowl.
He turned back toward who I assumed was the guy behind this entire operation.
"I see two options. You come back with Miguel and the rest of your arsenal. Everybody walks. Or you come back locked and loaded, we'll see which side spills more blood."
The leader looked up and I followed his gaze to find T-Dog on one of the rooftops, aiming a long-distance gun at his head.
Rick kept his gun up, his gaze once more flickering between Glenn and I before resting on me.
I wanted to shake my head and tell him to go back to camp. But my captor was holding the back of my head steady.
Our eyes remained locked for what felt like minutes before Daryl began to tug the back of his collar, slowly retreating from the courtyard.
His eyes stayed on mine until they reached the doorway and the doors were promptly shut.
"Alright, the theatrics are over," the guy who held my arm said with a sigh and loosened his grip significantly. I threw him a confused look over my shoulder as he walked me back toward the door, leading me down a staircase and taking us back to our empty room.
"I'm sorry for all the manhandling but we needed to make sure y'all weren't a threat."
Glenn and I both looked up with a startle, the leader of the group was standing in front of us looking genuinely apologetic.
"Nope," I said weakly. "Just mildly concussed."
"And you?" He looked at Glenn.
"Uh, mildly terrified."
The guy laughed and the hairs on my body stood up. It wasn't common to hear something like that nowadays.
"Look, my name is Guillermo, but everyone around here calls me G. We don't wanna hurt you guys."
"Didn't seem that way earlier," I said. "I got smacked in the temple."
"You know how it is. If you've stayed alive this long, you know you gotta protect your own."
I did understand. But I didn't believe we were in the clear here. This is the first group we've encountered since the world went to shit. Who knows what they've done to survive?
"Look, if your friends make the deal or not, you can stay here. You seem like decent people." He said with a shrug. "We need the muscle. You'll see what I mean soon enough."
I shared a glance with Glenn.
We in fact did see what he meant. My throat went dry as he led us out of the room, our hands finally untied. I stuck close to Glenn, keeping a hand wrapped around the bottom of his shirt.
This was a nursing home. Elderly people lived in each room, some in hospital beds, some playing board games with each other, others knitting.
"Are you kidding?" I asked without malice. "You had us thinking you were all some mafia."
"Appearances," Guillermo shrugged. "Hey, Judy. You doing alright?" He asked an older lady as we passed by. She waved at him with an adorable toothless smile.
"I'm hoping we can talk about those weapons you got."
We stopped at the end of the hallway, all three of us facing each other and I made brief eye contact with Glenn. Out of the both of us, I was the better liar.
"Look, what you've seen is what we've got. The guy in the cop uniform brought a small bag of weapons with him from his precinct. A few pistols, a revolver, and a rifle." It wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't a complete lie either. That was what we brought with us on this mission. Everything else was at the camp.
"That's it?" He looked unimpressed. "He didn't grab anything else?"
"It was just him. I guess that was all he could take on him."
"Where were you?"
"He joined us later on. He's from the outskirts of Georgia. He was looking for his family."
"Did he find 'em?"
"No," I lied, not fully trusting this random man. I made it a point to look disappointed, like I felt bad for Rick.
He looked disappointed as well, but likely not for the same reason. I felt a little bad for them. I could see that they weren't bad people, they'd stayed behind to care for the elderly. I could respect that.
"Y'all can make yourselves useful for now. We could use the extra help," he said.
"Uh, sure," Glenn glanced at me. I nodded at him in agreement. "What can we do?"
We ended up on housekeeping duty— checking in on the patients and making sure they weren't missing things like clean towels, soaps, blankets. Anything of that sort. I could tell we weren't being threatened anymore. In fact, the elderly seemed delighted to see us, even more so when they realized I also spoke Spanish like some of them.
My heart felt lighter than it had in weeks, my cheeks aching from how many smiles I'd handed out to all the grandmas and grandpas that greeted us warmly. No one was giving us strange or mean looks, there was not a weapon in sight.
Everything was going smoothly until one of the abuelitas came running down the hall, clutching our wrists and pulling us along with a panicked look.
"Can you help us? Mr Gilbert, he's having trouble breathing! Carlito can't find his asthma stuff!"
"We'll try, ma'am," said Glenn politely. She took us into a large room, people huddled around a hyperventilating man. We rushed over.
"I'm going to find Felipe! He—he knows where the medicine is!" She hobbled off quickly.
She returned in a few minutes, but it seemed like it had been seconds. I'd been distracted looking in every nook and cranny for an inhaler.
Felipe, the asshole that took all our chef boyardee, stood by Mr Gilbert, whipping out an inhaler and bringing it to the elderly man's lips.
Glenn and I gave each other a relieved look.
"What the hell is this?"
My head shot over to the back of the group, finding Rick standing there with a perplexed look. My eyebrows rose in confusion and surprise.
"An asthma attack," Glenn answered, barely sparing him a glance. "Couldn't get his breath all of a sudden."
"I thought you were being eaten by dogs, man," exclaimed T-Dog angrily.
Rick scanned me from head to toe before turning toward Guillermo. I tuned out most of their conversation, walking over to T-Dog and placing a grateful hand on his shoulder.
I knew it couldn't have been easy getting in here. Despite these people being mostly passive, they were still heavily armed. I don't even know why they want any more guns.
I gave Daryl a nod and then walked over to Rick, staying close as he followed Guillermo to the same room they put us in before.
"What about the rest of your crew?" Rick asked.
"The vatos trickle in to check on their parents, their grandparents. They see how things are and most decide to stay. It's a good thing too, we need the muscle. The people we've encountered since things fell apart. The worse kind— plunderers. The kind that take by force."
"That's not who we are," said Rick firmly.
"How was I to know? My people got attacked and you show up with Miguel hostage. Appearances."
"I guess the world changed," T-Dog mumbled.
"No, it's the same as it ever was. The weak get taken. So we do what we can here. The vatos work on those cars. Talk about getting the old people out of the city. But most can't even get to the bathroom by themselves so that's just a dream. Still, it keeps the crew busy. That's worth something. So we barred all the windows, welded all the doors shut, except for one entrance. The vatos, they go out. Scavenge what they can to keep us going. We watch the perimeter night and day and we wait. The people here— they all look to me now. I don't even know why."
"Because they can," Rick said, handing Guillermo a rifle and a pistol before turning around and unexpectedly grabbing me by the wrist. I startled, looking up at him in alarm. He didn't even spare me a glance, instead leading me out into the hallway where we encountered Felipe and the other guy that knocked me out.
Just the reminder made me glare at them, rubbing my temple with my free hand. My other hand was hyperaware of Rick's warm grip.
It was silent for a moment as we stared each other down. Then he reached back and the guy who knocked me out handed him my pack. Felipe offered it to me slowly and I took it. In it— the children multivitamins and about half of the medicine we'd scavenged.
None of the cans of food though.
"Fine, keep all the chef boyardees," I grumbled, instantly annoyed once again.
"Oye, yo no te crié así!" Felipe's grandmother cried, appearing all of a sudden to give him a solid whack in the side. "En mi hogar se..."
The man gave her a halfhearted glare, rubbing his ribs tenderly.
She raised her little wrinkly hand again.
"Se comparte," he said quickly with a sigh as he took the small plastic bag she was holding. I could see the fondness in his eyes as he looked back at his abuela.
"Thanks," Rick said, his grip on my wrist tightening ever so slightly as he leaned forward to grab a few cans. He shoved them into my bag.
"Alright, well this was cool but I'd rather we go now," I quietly told Rick, leaning up on my toes to get closer.
"Yeah, yeah," he finally looked at me now. His eyes dropped to our hands as if he hadn't realized he'd been holding on the whole time. Slowly, he dropped my arm, looking back up into my eyes. My breath hitched in my throat, cheeks burning slightly as I looked at his pale blue eyes. I'd never been this close to him other than the hug he'd given me yesterday.
"I'm glad you're okay," he told me as we let the rest of the group lead us out, falling to the back easily. There was this underlying need for privacy, as if our conversation was sort of intimate.
"Thanks for coming back for us," I told him with a serious look. "You could've just gone back to camp but you stayed."
Rick gave me an incredulous look. "Like I'd leave you."
We weren't anything to each other. We weren't even friends. Just former coworkers. But the way he said that made my heart flip in my chest.
Stupid emotions. Stupid, stupid crush. I felt like a giddy teenager.
Feeling a little brave, I placed a hand on his forearm. "Thank you," I looked him in the eyes, trying to convey just how grateful I was.
Maybe Guillermo would've let us go with or without Rick's interference but without any weapons or a vehicle, there was little chance we'd have made it back to camp alive.
I couldn't stay here and leave Shane, Lori or Carl behind. Even if Glenn was with me because I knew he felt the same. We'd all grown to care about each other, despite how many times I deny it. Glenn isn't the only important person in my life anymore.
We were all, like it or not, a family now.
"You don't have to thank me, ever." He grabbed a pistol tucked into the back of his belt loop and offered it to me smoothly.
I eyed it and then accepted with a small smile. "Tha—"
I cut myself off as Rick rose his eyebrows. His previous words repeated in my head.
"Sorry," I whispered, pocketing the gun with a wider smile and taking my hand off his arm.
Both smiling like blithering idiots, we rushed to catch up with the rest of the crew, heading back to reality.
"Hey, wait," I said loudly as we walked outside. "Where the fuck is Merle?"
[rick grimes x original female character slowburn]
series masterlist
summary: rick confides in daphne, for reasons unknown to her. as she offers him counsel, daphne is also grappling with conflicting feelings of her own.
notes: if you're disappointed by this reaction, this is a friendly reminder that season 1 rick was mr moral high ground. but trust me when i say there WILL be a catalyst for rick's entire wrath and fury. this is just one step closer to that. do not fear, rick will be kicking shane's ass very soon :) also, the pacing is so bad in this, i might rewrite this whole chapter soon. but feel free to comment, i love talking to you all!
I froze. In fact, I think all three of us did and I realized with a jolt how out of my depth I was here. This had nothing to do with me and of course, here I was, in the smack dab middle of it.
Daryl scoffed one more time and then trudged into the woods, mumbling all sorts of things. I stared after him until he disappeared within the trees. His words dawned on me and my eyes slowly traveled over to Shane.
Sure, Rick's sudden appearance had served as a nice distraction from the big glaring problem I had waiting here for me if I got back alive, but reality had to be faced eventually. My inner conflict since last night had been tearing me from the inside-out, as I tried to figure out my feelings for Shane Walsh. After all, he has been generously kind to me in all the years I've known him, albeit flirty but in a respectful way. He didn't cross any lines I'd deemed uncrossable and I wouldn't deny that his concern and priority over my well-being filled me with sensation far beyond gratitude.
The kiss caught me off guard. But now this bucket of ice cold water had been dumped over my head. Just as I began to entertain the idea of harboring romantic feelings for him.
His words from last night echoed in the back of my mind.
"For what it's worth, it's always been you."
Something inexplicable gripped at my throat. But I stayed as silent as possible. Watching these two was like a ticking bomb, any second away from detonating.
Shane stared at Rick with a troubled expression, his foot twisting into the dirt uncomfortably.
I knew in an instant Daryl Dixon did not lie.
Did he know this was my usual spot to gather berries and other edible plants? With his tracking abilities, I wouldn't doubt it, despite not talking to the man much but...
Of all the miles that surrounded our camp, why stretch out the smug admission of a hidden truth, a treacherous affair, until this very spot, just steps away from where I was crouched in the bush, picking for blueberries?
I reprimanded myself at the thought. Why would Daryl Dixon care about my knowing of Shane's personal escapades?
"She..." Shane started quite hesitantly. "Lori... she thought you were dead, man."
"Did you?"
Shane scoffed as if the accusation baffled him. "You heard 'em. I... I tried, Rick. I saw you every chance I got. The day it all went down— I didn't have a damn clue what was going on. Screams from left to right, the military raining fire on anyone who was still breathing. Hell, I tried to get you out of there, man! But it couldn't be the two of us dead because you still had a wife and a child out there! And if I couldn't save you, I could damn well save them!" He was unexpectedly set off, angrier than he should've been. "And let me tell you somethin', I did it for you. I did it for my brother. L-Lori, we were comforting each other in the only way we knew how—"
"I thought you were gone."
His partner's face was crestfallen. His lips parted like the shock was threatening to sink him under, his eyes glazed over from the betrayal.
"After I woke up in that hospital bed, when I saw what the world had become. The first thing I thought about was Carl and Lori. And then you. Our unit. For a moment, I thought you were all dead—"
Rick choked up and Shane's face morphed into something reminiscent of guilt. I couldn't quite tell though. I'd like to think that after years, I knew this man. But now he was completely unreadable.
Running a hand over his face, down his glistening eyes, Rick squared his stance and stared his longest friend in the eye.
"Our marriage... fell apart a long time ago," he shook his head and clenched his jaw. "But that doesn't make this okay."
There was a long moment of tense silence and I didn't realize I was holding my breath until my chest began to burn. I tried to control the air releasing from my lungs.
"I appreciate what you did. Saving 'em. I owe you everythin' but—" Rick cut himself off, glaring at the grass between them. He seemed to be saying these words through his teeth, forcing himself to say them. His hand began to flex angrily and his feet kicked the dirt beneath them in warning.
I stared at them with a mix of emotions.
One was a man that had changed my life forever, taught me how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world where I should've died. He cared for me, never shied away from making it clear that I was his priority. And maybe I was too blinded by the attention to see that there was something going on between him and Lori. That she was also carelessly pushed to the side in the weeks we'd been forming a new life together. And to know that she'd been having sex with him all along, I could only hope that she didn't have actual feelings for him, because it would explain the strange looks I had been catching from her, and my guilt would only increase tenfold.
And on the other hand was her husband, a man I have been pining over since the moment I laid eyes on him in the precinct.
Rick Grimes had an instant hold over me, no matter how minuscule or undetectable it had gotten over the years, and no matter what, he had always truly been the most gorgeous man I've known inside and out.
What does that say about me? Lusting after my friend's husband and then fucking around with the feelings of her goddamn side piece.
I suddenly became nauseous.
"I get it, man. I'll go back to the camp," said Shane after a long stretch of silence. I kept my eyes on Rick, unable to look at Shane with the turmoil brewing inside me. A simmering anger was twisting my insides at the mere sound of his voice.
"Uh— yeah, yeah," Rick mumbled distractedly, not bothering to even look up, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides.
A pair of footsteps stomped away, crunching along the grass until the only thing that could be heard was the chirps of the nearby insects.
As soon as Shane disappeared within the trees, Rick spun around to send his fist flying into a tree, a muffled yell leaving his pressed lips. He was beyond angry, tears lining his lash line, face turning red. I stared with wide eyes, trying not to make a single sound.
I felt incredibly bad for him. I couldn't imagine fighting tooth and nail to make it back to your wife just to find that she had moved on to your best friend so quickly. That although their marriage had already been suffering, she had chosen to sleep with the man he trusted more than anyone else.
Something wet touched my hand. I uncurled my fist to find a handful of crushed blueberries.
"How long you been there?"
I jolted up in surprise, my curls tangled into the bush and the pouch of berries slipped out of my other hand.
"I was here first," I replied defensively, still hidden in the bush.
Rick didn't say anything, just peered past the leaves as if he couldn't quite spot me. But somehow he knew I was there, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
"You were," he eventually said, slowly. "I saw you just before Daryl left."
Relief flooded through me. I slowly untangled myself from the branches, stepping out into the path with tinged cheeks. "I was picking berries. Found the patch a few weeks ago."
His cheeks were flushed, his hands shaking very slightly by his side.
"I can leave you alone," I said after some silence. "I'll go back to camp—"
"No." Rick said firmly, meeting my eye very briefly before glaring back down at the ground.
I halted my escape. "Oh, um, okay."
The awkwardness was threatening to eat me alive. I shifted on my feet, wondering where to look and what to do with my hands.
"Do you..." I eagerly looked up at Rick, glad one of us was talking. "Did you know?"
I studied him. Really, there should be no reason for him to be upset with me too, but I braced myself for his wrath anyway. He'd spared Shane because they were partners, but we were nothing. As much as it bothered me, Rick and I didn't owe each other an ounce of respect in this new world.
"No," I told him honestly. A surge of anger towards Shane rushed through me again. My cheeks felt hot.
"I keep wondering... if I have the right to even be upset. I wasn't a good husband to her, I know this, and you're the last person I should be telling this to but—"
The last person? Should I be offended or something? I decide now wasn't the best time to press for details. "It's fine. I know this can't be easy for you. To wake up to... this."
Rick scoffed a little, but not in a rude way. It was as if I'd said something outlandish and absurd.
"I woke up and the hardest part was done. Seeing the world change— changing with it— becoming the leader of a group you have no responsibilities or ties to. You, you did the hard part."
"Oh— did Shane—?"
"Shane didn't hafta tell me nothin'. Lori and I talked last night. She told me everything that happened since the day I got shot," explained Rick solemnly.
I cringed at the thought of them spending time alone last night. Not that it was crazy to imagine; they were still married.
"I guess I have a lot to be thanking you for," Rick looked up at me with an intense sincerity in his gaze. I tried not to squirm under the pressure of it. He continued. "You saved my family. That is something I will never be able to repay."
He stepped forward and laid a large hand on my shoulder. I could feel some heat rush to my ears. "You have my gratitude."
"Carl's a great kid. And Lori's my friend. I would do it a million times over," I told him truthfully.
He stared at me for a few moments, his hand still holding my shoulder as his eyes scanned every bit of my face. Sighing, he stepped away and brought himself to the ground carefully, sitting with his knees bent and leaning an elbow against them thoughtfully.
It was silent again, but it didn't feel as awkward as before so I sat next to him and began to wash the berries off with the bottle of water I'd brought with me from camp.
"What... what do I do?"
My head shot over to stare at him. "You're asking me."
I didn't state it as a question, more as a statement of shock, thinking about how ironic it was that the fate of a marriage I had once upon a time envied was now partly in my hands. The guilt was still there, painfully tugging at my heartstrings.
Rick shrugged and made a show of looking around at the empty trees around us.
"I can't really tell you what to do, Rick."
"What I really wanna do is break his jaw in. Watch him choke on his teeth."
I'm surprised at the restraint it took for him to not send his fist flying in the first place. I was fully prepared to watch Shane's ass get beat.
"He deserves it," I instigated slightly. I couldn't possibly be as angry as he was but I understood. Shane does deserve a good punch.
He sighed and shook his head at the ground.
"I don't know how to go on. How to look him in the face—" he scowled. "We were brothers. He was my best friend. He knew." Rick snapped.
"He knew...?"
"He was the one person I confided in. I told him about Lori and I. I told him when things started going south. I never thought in a million years I'd have to worry." He spat, shaking his head angrily.
I felt some of that bitterness surge in me as well. I felt completely and utterly deceived by the same goddamn person.
"We never do," I projected a bit. I couldn't help it, the anger was swelling in me as well. Just the thought of Shane's stupid face made me want to punch something. "They fill our heads with all these stupid promises and reassurances just to stab you right in the back anyway."
Am I being overdramatic? Most likely. Hell, I probably deserved this. I led Shane on for so long, I couldn't be mad that he moved on to someone else. I just couldn't understand why he'd said the things he did last night. The kiss.
I've never been more goddamn confused in my life.
It was quiet for a few minutes, my last comment brewing in the silence but I didn't think Rick would pay much mind to it. He had bigger problems of his own.
"Carl— he's so young..." he said idly as if it had just occurred to him.
Too young for a divorce was what he meant.
I couldn't disagree with that. There's no age that seeing your parents separate becomes easier to deal with. But he's not the same nine-year-old Rick had known before he got shot.
"Rick, the world isn't the same anymore. It doesn't excuse Lori's actions or Shane's, but all of that doesn't matter so much when you're trying to keep yourself from getting eaten by dead cannibals. I can't tell you what to do but in the grand scheme of things, I think Carl will learn to understand."
I didn't know whether this brought him any comfort because he seemed to have nothing else to say on the matter. Maybe I was too straightforward, after all Carl was his kid at the end of the day. Despite how much I'd grown to care for him...
"I've been thinking about the man we left behind."
I looked over at him in shock. It was the last thing I'd been expecting him to bring up. But as soon as I looked at his blue eyes, I could almost see the plans he was concocting.
He wanted to go after him.
"You can't be serious," I scoffed. I'd been pushing aside my own thoughts about Merle Dixon. Just one more thing to add to my consciousness. As much of a dickhead as he was, we'd left a human being for dead.
"It isn't right. Leaving him up there to die," insisted Rick.
"He would do the same to any of us," I argued. "You just escaped the city. Survived alone against all odds. You're willing risk that for a douchebag like Merle?"
I observed the incredulous look on his face with disdain. It's different for him. He was just introduced to this new fucked up reality. He still has hope that we can be the heroes of this story-- that we can afford to care about anyone but ourselves.
"This-- what we have here-- this is what we focus on. It's unfortunate but Merle dug his own grave. It isn't worth risking your life, Rick."
I hated the way he was looking at me but I steeled myself. He'd learn soon enough. Men like Merle weren't worth compromising your safety for. It was every man for himself in the old world, and even more so in the new one.
I shoved every silly feeling I've had for Rick to the side and gave him a stern look back. I willed myself not to care about the disgust on his face because soon enough, he'd understand.
He'd understand what we've done to keep his wife and son alive.
Rick opened his mouth and I braced myself, ready to hear something along the lines of me being a murderer and a split second thought ran through my head.
Shane would agree with me.
A blood curdling scream cut through the dense silence.
"MOM! DAD!"
I was up before I could even process it, tearing through the woods with Rick at my heels.
"CARL!" Rick and I yelled in unison. I gripped the pistol Shane had given me tight, not caring if my face was torn up by the stray branches I ran against, heart pounding in my chest as I willed my legs to move faster than they ever have.
"Here!" I tossed a knife back to Rick as I pushed ahead of him, beating him in speed by a milestone.
"MAMA! MOMMY!" A high-pitched voice screamed.
Finally, I stumbled upon where Sophia and Carl were huddled. Making a beeline towards the kids, despite the walker that stood yards away.
I grabbed them by the shoulders, looking them up and down frantically. Trying to find a bite, a scratch, anything.
A body came slamming into mine and I suddenly heard their screams, the rest of the group had been searching as well.
Lori grabbed her son frantically, snatching him from my grasp and patting his arms down in a panic. "Carl! Nothing bit you, nothing scratched you?"
"No, I'm fine," Carl shook his head.
Jacqui came running out of nowhere.
"Soph?" The small blonde girl shook her head frantically before sprinting in the direction of camp, no doubt searching for her mother.
"She wasn't bit. We're both okay." Carl reassured.
I gripped my pistol and set my sights on the walker. It was feasting on a deer, crouched over and ripping its neck to shreds. I grimaced, inching forward with Rick and Glenn at my side.
Shane made brief eye contact with me before the walker suddenly straightened up and whipped around.
Rick wasted no time, slashing its face with the knife I'd handed him. Shane used the end of his rifle and Glenn started beating the damn thing with a stick. Even Morales had a turn before Dale swung his axe and chopped its head off clean.
It was silent as we all stared at the mess of guts and blood in shock.
"That's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain," said Dale shakily.
"Well, they're running out of food in the city. That's what," replied Jim, another survivor who was normally a man of few words.
A branch snapped and we all raised our weapons, my safety turning off once more.
I curled my finger around the trigger as the steps got closer.
"Oh, Jesus," Dale sighed in relief as Daryl came stomping out from between the bushes. I lowered my gun and shook my head.
"Son of a bitch! That's my deer! Look at it. All gnawed on by this filthy—" Daryl kicked the headless walker angrily.
"—disease-bearing—"
Kick.
"—motherless—"
Another kick.
"—poxy bastard!"
"Calm down, son. That's not helping."
"What do you know about it, old man?" Daryl sneered at Dale, getting in his face. "Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'on golden pond?' If it wasn't for you idiots running it off earlier, I would've taken it back to camp. Maybe I can cut around this chewed up part. Take some for the road."
"Wouldn't risk that," Shane sighed.
"That's a damn shame," Daryl said, giving Shane a nasty glare before raising his bow and shooting an arrow into the walker's reanimated head.
Huffing, he shoulder-checked Glenn as he passed by, ripping the arrow out with a squelch.
I couldn't blame him for being angry. As much of an asshole as Merle was, he was still Daryl's family.
Glenn rubbed his shoulder and rolled his eyes.
"Daryl!" Rick rushed after him, disappearing into the trees with my knife. I was briefly confused until I remembered where our last conversation left off.
"God help us all," I smacked a hand on my forehead and began to make my way back to camp. Slowly so I wouldn't catch up to Daryl and Rick.
"Hold up, Daph," Glenn caught up to me with a huff. "Were you ever going to tell me about Rick being the Rick?"
"What?"
Glenn glanced behind us. Likely looking for Shane.
"Rick Grimes? Like super hot hip-swaying coworker Grimes? I'm fucking offended, Daph."
"Do you want everyone to hear you?" I whispered harshly, scanning the woods to make sure Rick or Shane weren't lurking about.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"Sorry, it wasn't really at the forefront of my mind yesterday. I was more thinking about all the dead people trying to eat us."
"What are the freaking odds?" Glenn marveled. "Out of all people, he runs into us. You know, anybody else would've left him for dead."
"Yes, you're a goddamn hero, Glenn."
"Damn right I am. Saved your man from certain death."
My eyes widened comically and I whacked him in the side. "He's not my man. Don't say shit like that around Shane or Lori."
"Of course not. I'm not crazy. You see 'em around here?"
"I dunno. Shane has eyes and ears everywhere."
"True," Glenn nodded, staring at his feet as we walked. Suddenly, he stopped.
"What's up with you two? You've been weird since yesterday morning."
Fuck. I knew it wouldn't slip past him. Glenn knew me too well for this to just slide and the only reason I'd been keeping it from him was because of how selfish and ashamed I felt.
"Don't judge me, okay?"
His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. "Okay?"
I seized his sleeve and took us a little ways off the trail, closer to the blueberry patch. Speaking of which, I left all of the ones I'd collected in the dust. Goddamnit.
"Um— two nights ago, Shane and I... well, we kissed."
His jaw dropped slightly.
"He kissed me." I defended quickly, before Glenn could give me a judgmental look.
"Did you want it?" He asked carefully.
"Yes— well, no— I don't know."
Glenn narrowed his gaze, sending a glance in the direction of camp. His cheeks tinted red and he shifted uncomfortably.
"He didn't force himself onto me, if that's what you think." I said quickly, recognizing the signs of Glenn's impending anger.
His chest fell in relief.
"I just... I screwed up, Glenn. I led him on. I let him kiss me and I kissed him back. I didn't even know if I wanted it. And then Rick of all people shows up! The one person I was holding out hope for. I'm not a homewrecker but I am delusional."
Glenn stayed silent so I continued with a sigh.
"I should've given Shane a chance before the world went to shit. But I didn't and now everything is so much more complicated... he, um, he told me there's no one else."
"Damn."
I closed my eyes frustratingly. "I know."
"That's clearly a lie."
I gave him a side-eyed glare. "I know."
Glenn pursed his lips awkwardly and looked away.
"How long have you known?" I asked with a sigh. Wouldn't be surprised if I was the last one to find out.
"Not long. I stumbled upon them in the woods the other day. I can't get the image out of my head, I think I'm scarred for life." He grimaced. "I would've told you if I knew he was trying to make a move."
"It's fine," I began to walk back over to the path again. "You couldn't have known. It happened late at night and I was wallowing in self-pity yesterday."
I stomped on the fallen leaves, trying to release some of the pent-up frustration before getting back.
"It's just... I told him it'd take time but I was willing to give us a try. All this time I've felt guilty for even missing that part of my life when Lori was still grieving her husband. Just to find out her and Shane are having sex this whole time."
Glenn readjusted his cap. "Gotta wonder if this started now or before."
That's a good point.
I wasn't a good husband to her, Rick had said to me earlier.
I don't know anything about their lives from before. I only knew Rick at a professional level. And whatever Shane would tell me when he was trying to chat me up every other day at work.
I can't really judge Rick or Lori. She thought he was dead and Rick... well, I don't know what he meant by not being a good husband.
This was truly a mess I had no part in.
"I'm taking myself out of this equation. I have enough on my plate for me to worry about this love triangle."
"More like a rectangle."
I gave him a confused look.
"You like Rick. Rick likes Lori. Lori like Shane. Shane likes you and Lori?"
God, I love and hate his out-of-pocket comments sometimes. But Glenn keeps it real. I gotta respect that.
Rick likes Lori.
Well technically, Rick should love Lori and he probably does. She's the mother of his child and I can't pretend to know everything about their relationship, but if what Rick said earlier was true, there wasn't much of a relationship anymore.
"I could really use some vodka," I groaned, feeling a headache forming between my eyes.
"Same," Glenn said sadly as we approached camp.
Everyone had resumed to their usual activities. Lori and Carl were nowhere to be found but I assumed they were in their tent or the RV. Carol was folding clothes with little Sophia at her feet.
I did a double-take when I saw Rick and Shane speaking to the side. I could faintly hear their conversation.
"So that's it, huh? To hell with everybody else? What about Lori?"
"Don't talk to me about her. I'm not saying to hell with anybody. Especially not to my son." Rick said firmly, buttoning up his sheriff's uniform. He started walking past his former partner.
"Tell them that."
Rick whipped around, an unreadable expression on his face as he stared back at his friend.
"They know. You'd best leave me alone. It's in your best interest. This ain't got nothing to do with you."
I started walking over, feeling a fight begin to stir up. Shane didn't look like he was deterred by Rick's unapproachable attitude and there's no way Rick wasn't still upset about his best friend's actions.
"Well, look, I--I don't, okay, Rick? So could you just throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon?"
"Hey, choose your words more carefully," threatened Daryl, who was standing nearby.
"No, I did. Douchebag's what I meant."
"You have something in common then," said Rick jarringly. I was taken aback, not expecting that type of insult to fly out of Officer Grimes' mouth. He was always the passive one.
Glenn chortled next to me.
Shane took it unflinchingly. "Merle Dixon-- that guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst, man."
"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst. Me. Thirst and exposure. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being. I don't recall asking for your opinion either."
"So you and Daryl? That's your big plan?" Lori asked, more at ease than I would've expected given the tense circumstances.
I observed her easy posture, other than the frustration she was likely feeling over the fact that her husband was trying to go on a damn suicide mission. I watched as her eyes subtly traveled from Rick to Shane. Then I realized Shane must not have told her a damn thing.
Rick looked at her with hardened eyes. And then switched his gaze over to—
Glenn groaned. "Oh, come on."
There's no way in hell.
"You wanna drag someone else on this suicide mission?" I interjected exasperatedly. I gave Rick my nastiest glare, unable to believe his audacity.
"You're really okay with letting a man die?"
"It's like I said before. He'd do the same to any of us," I lowered my voice and stepped closer to Rick, eyeing Daryl's angry pacing over his shoulder. "He was going to get himself killed eventually. And he would've dragged us all down with him."
I'm not evil. I'm not. I just don't want to see Rick die.
Rick stared at me for a moment before setting his attention onto Glenn.
"You know the way," I scoffed as he ignored me completely. "You've been there before. In and out, no problem. You said so yourself."
Glenn took his cap off and started rubbing his head-- a nervous tick of his.
I've never felt so angry with anyone. Knowing he was asking this of Glenn. Asking him to risk his life once more when he already had just to save Rick's skin.
"It's not fair of me to ask. I know that." Rick glanced over to me apologetically. I guess he isn't deaf. "But I'd feel a lot better if you came along."
"That's just great." Shane scowled, stepping closer to me. "Now you're gonna risk three men, huh?"
"Four," said T-Dog from the edge of camp.
Daryl scoffed. "My day just gets better and better, don't it?"
"Be grateful anyone's willing to save that dick," I bristled.
"Yeah, you see anybody else stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?"
"Why you?" Daryl asked T-Dog.
"You wouldn't even begin to understand. You don't speak my language."
"That's four," said Dale exasperatedly.
"That's not just four. You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come on. You saw that walker. It was here, it was in camp."
Despite it all, Shane and I usually saw eye to eye on most things. We weren't afraid to make hard decisions to keep the camp safe. The first week or so when it was just the five of us, Shane and I would stay up late into the early hours of the morning. Talking about our limits— what we were willing to do to make sure our loved ones stayed alive. Even if prioritizing our safety meant leaving others behind.
It's why I still can't believe Ed Peletier is still a good-for-nothing member of our camp. After his and Shane's scuffle, I was certain Shane and I would find a way to get rid of him. Whereas douchebag volatile Merle contributed brawn and hunting game, Ed contributed nothing.
"They're moving out the city. They come here, they get to camp-- we need every able body we got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp." Shane emphasized.
"You went through hell to find us," added Lori. "You just got here and you're gonna turn around and leave?"
"Dad, I don't want you to go." Carl pleaded.
"Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth even one of your lives! Tell me. Make me understand." Lori said angrily, standing up.
Rick sighed and crouched in front of Carl, making a point to speak mostly to him. "I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy. If they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died. It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him."
"What's stopping you?" Lori asked from the side.
"The walkie-talkie. I dropped it in the tank I hid in," Rick looked back at Glenn and I. "He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer."
"I feel for them. I really do but I can't listen to this shit any longer," I hissed quietly at Glenn before stomping away towards our tent.
Footsteps crunched behind me and I knew he was following me. I slipped off my shoes and threw myself onto my sleeping bag, irritated beyond belief. The second Rick mentioned the walkie he'd left behind, it reminded me of what I had left behind too— the medicine. A shit ton of it. Stuff that we'd need eventually and the vitamins the kids were so desperately lacking.
Goddamnit. Carl was one of my weakest spots. I'd grown to care for him immensely, more than I expected. His now-hallowed cheeks stabbed at my heart.
I watched as Glenn gathered his gun I'd given him from the bag I retrieved for Rick yesterday and the CB.
"You're going."
"He'll die if I don't. He's gonna go with or without me," Glenn sighed.
I stood up and pocketed my pistol. "Then I'm going too."
"What? Weren't you against this whole plan? Number one Merle hater?"
I shoved my shoes back onto my feet. "That's before you decided you were going to put your life on the line too. And I still hate that fucker. I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for you."
"You don't have to," Glenn grabbed my arm, halting my exit. "You should stay here."
I shot him an incredulous look. "While you go out there and risk your life?" I lowered my voice so that no one else could eavesdrop. "None of these people mean as much to me as you do. I know this is what you do but if there's any way I can help, I need to be there. Besides, I'm going back for the medicine. We're running low."
With that, I freed my arm and left our tent, beelining for the truck where Daryl was loading his bow and arrows into. I got into the passenger's seat, ignoring Shane as he threw yet another fit at the sight of me. Slamming the door shut, I groaned and closed my eyes, throwing my head back as I wondered why we were all willingly putting ourselves in danger once more.
"Yer comin' too?"
I opened an eye and peeked at Daryl through the side mirror. He was crouched behind my seat, busy with his arrows.
"Clearly."
His lip curled and he shook his head.
I couldn't give less of a fuck if he was mad. He could get over it.
The driver's seat opened and Glenn got in, readjusting his cap and giving me a glance. "Thanks," he whispered.
My anger dissipated a little and I gave him a tiny smile, knowing both of us felt a lot better going into the lion's den together. That smile quickly fell when a foot appeared between us, slamming into the wheel twice.
"Come on!" Daryl hollered, honking the horn obnoxiously.
"Don't do that. There might be other walkers close by, you idiot," I seethed.
He ignored me. "Let's go!"
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[rick grimes x original female character slowburn]
series masterlist
summary: glenn and rick try out a new technique in order to survive and reunite with the rest of the group. back at camp, daphne and shane reach an understanding.
notes: god i’m so irritated with my writing in this series. i have the tendency to write too many little details but that changes after this chapter istg. so the style of writing might be a bit strange after this part but if you'd like an idea of what it'll be like, check out my star wars au i'm writing on my main acc. and sorry for the long ass wait. enjoy.
“I’m going to throw the fuck up,” I breathed, trying to control my gag reflex. Rick groaned in response, pushing harder and I gagged again.
“Stop doing that,” Glenn whined. “You’re going to make me throw up.”
“I’m sorry,” I said with watery eyes, trying not to breathe in the scent of rotten guts filling the air. We were all standing before Rick and his axe— staring as he cut a walker’s body in half.
Rick gave one last chop before handing it over to Morales. I did my best not to look at the mush of guts spread all over the floor.
After a heated discussion with Glenn, I’d agreed that it would be safer if I stayed behind, despite how badly I wanted to join him on Rick’s suicide mission to escape Atlanta. So I stayed silent, helping them spread intestines all over their coats with two layers of gloves on.
I’m sure my face was turning violet from how long I was holding my breath but it was either that or vomit all over the place. The texture of the flesh was lukewarm; this walker probably wasn’t even dead for long.
Glenn was beginning to hyperventilate.
“Think about something else. Puppies and kittens,” offered Rick with a grimace.
“Dead puppies and kittens,” T-Dog added in disgust.
I flinched, bracing myself. Glenn whipped around in horror, hurling over his shoulder instantly.
Andrea rolled her eyes and pulled away from Glenn. She fixed T-Dog with a glare. “That is just evil. What is wrong with you?”
“Next time let the cracker beat his ass,” snapped Jacqui.
“I’m sorry,” T-Dog backed away guiltily.
Rick cut in. “Do we smell like them?”
“Hell yeah,” I answered.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you take a single breath in the last five minutes, Daphne.”
I squinted my eyes at Rick.
“It’s a wonder you’re still standing,” he mused.
“Unless you want me to throw up on you and everyone in the vicinity, I’d rather suffocate in silence,” I said stiffly.
“Glenn," I turned around to find Andrea handing off my gun. "Just in case." I didn't argue, knowing if she had returned the gun to its rightful owner, I would've done the same thing. Still, I gave her a glare.
“If we make it back, be ready,” said Rick firmly.
“What about Merle Dixon?”
Rick fished out the keys from his pocket and tossed them to T-Dog.
“Give me the axe,” sighed Rick. “We need more guts.”
After another agonizing round of gut scooping, the two were ready to head out. Glenn glanced back at me with a terrified look. I tried to give him my most confident smile, but inside I was sort of dying too.
I shared one last look with Rick, imprinting both of their faces in my mind just in case. How is he still so handsome covered in guts?
‘You got this,’ I mouthed at Glenn and then Morales promptly slammed the door in my face. I rounded on him angrily.
“We couldn’t risk the walkers seeing us,” he shrugged apologetically.
I sighed, glancing up the stairwell and suddenly remembering Merle’s crazy ass was still up there. Suppressing a groan, I forced my way past Andrea and the others and decided to wait on the rooftop for a better view.
And somehow between the sudden rain pour that fell over Atlanta and Andrea accusing Rick and Glenn of abandoning us, the plan actually managed to work.
I was practically biting my nails, sprinting back down the stairs I came from, leaving Merle and his yelling in the dust. I couldn’t bring myself to give a single shit, only focused on trying to push myself the fastest I’ve ever gone, just so that by some miracle of God I could intercept Glenn before he took off.
He was leading the horde away, distracting them so that we could all get into the van Rick had managed to steal.
I diverted from the course, ignoring Morales and Jacqui’s frantic questions, urging them to meet Rick at the rendezvous. Over the frantic pounding of my heart, I could hear the siren of Glenn’s stolen car, getting closer and closer as I sprinted down a dark hallway, seeing the daylight pouring through the crack of the emergency exit.
With a shoulder shove, I burst through the door, fully bracing myself for a fight against any walker that was in the vicinity...
But it wasn’t the dead that attacked me.
It was Glenn Rhee, slamming into my side hard enough to send me flying towards the pavement feet away. My ears rung a bit and I had to blink a few times to gather my wits, but then I suddenly heard Glenn’s yell and growls getting closer and I forced my body to jump into action.
I swayed a little on my feet, gaping at Glenn who was hanging halfway out the car, staring at me like I’d grown two heads.
Walkers rounded the corner suddenly.
“Holy shit! You crazy fucker!” I yelled, swinging my body to the passenger’s side. I was more than ready to get the hell out of dodge.
“Holy shit,” Glenn repeated, but I could barely understand over his ridiculous guffawing. There were tears streaming down his face, his cheeks bright pink from how hard he was cracking up.
“You hit me with a car. Har har. Hit the fucking gas pedal, chuckles.”
His laughter was contagious, doubled over the steering wheel and I momentarily forgot that Rick and the others were depending on our corny asses to survive.
“Glenn,” I wheezed through suffocating laughter. God, my fucking side hurts but I can’t stop. “Glenn! We got—gotta GO!”
A loud bang made us both jump. Nothing kills the mood quite like a decaying corpse snapping at your car window.
Finally, Glenn hightailed it, sending the car flying with a deafening squeak. I gripped at the overhead handle. As we turned the corner, I barely caught a glance of Rick’s truck, now speeding away from the building.
I slammed my hand into the dashboard twice. “They’re out. Let’s go!”
Glenn didn’t need to be told twice, pushing the car even faster than I thought possible. Impulsively, I rolled my window down and felt the wind cut through my hair hazardously.
Soon, Atlanta was in the rearview mirror and a feeling of elation rushed to my head.
“We’re alive,” Glenn said suddenly, as if he read my mind.
“Cause of you,” I admitted in a rare moment of complete honesty with this asshole.
A sly smile spread across his cheeks and I whipped my head to face him fully. “I take that shit back. You almost killed me back there. I think you broke my hip, Glenn!”
“You look fine,” he denied.
“What do you know? My hip is in fragile condition! I may never be the same.”
“Should’ve looked both ways before you crossed the road.”
“Dude—” I fixed him with a murderous look.
Glenn glanced at me from his peripheral. I stared at him a few seconds longer. We were speeding down the highway, on lanes that were vet eerily empty. But the other side of the highway was a complete other story. I refused to look that way.
A few more seconds of death glaring Glenn satisfied my pettiness and so I began to rummage through the compartments of the car. A nice silence filled the car, just rushing wind and the company of the person who meant the most to me in this fucked up world.
All I could find were old receipts and registration papers. I sighed, “do you think they had any cds— FUCK YES.”
“What?” Glenn demanded quickly.
I flipped the cd around and practically shoved it in his face. He swerved a little— it’s not like there’s anyone to crash into.
“Put that shit on!” He yelled, beginning to smile uncontrollably.
I shoved the disc in and blasted the volume, drowning out the stupid alarm.
“Everybody look at me, me! I walk in the door you start screaming!” We both chorused loudly, feeling the spirit of Nelly Furtado and countless nights at the club fill our veins.
When we finally arrived, speeding over hills and around curves, we clambered out of the car, exhilarated from the drive and feeling the post-high of our near-death experience.
The giddiness rushed to my brain, making me a bit lightheaded as I gave Glenn a playful shove when I made my way to his side.
This feeling nearly made me forget my very pressing issue here at camp.
He came rushing over with a scowl. “What the hell?!” Shane growled at me.
“Holy shit, turn that damn thing off!” Dale yelled, stomping over with his white bucket hat lodged firmly over his hair.
“I don’t know how!” Glenn said, leaning over to fidget with the dashboard in the car.
“Pop the hood please,” said Shane a little more gently than he’d spoken to me.
I gave him a side eye.
Glenn and Dale kept yelling over each other in a panic. An anxiety began to creep over me when I realized just how loud the alarm was. It bounced off every tree; its echo could probably be heard below the cliff we were camped on.
I leaned closer to Glenn. “Hey, pop the hood—“
“Pop the damn hood!” Shane snapped suddenly.
The hood of the car finally popped open and I jerked back to glare at Shane. He was turning away from me, his head shaking and I could tell he was mumbling something under his breath.
The asshole pulled a wire out and the siren stopped.
“Are you crazy, driving this wailing bastard up here? Are you trying to draw every walker for miles?” Shane leaned against the car with an agitated look.
“I think we’re okay,” said Dale.
“You call being stupid ‘okay?’” Shane asked.
“The alarm was echoing all over these hills,” explained Dale. “Hard to pinpoint the source.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled. It’s nice to see someone still has functioning brain cells in this group.
Shane turned to glare at the three of us, hands on his hips, a scowl planted on his face.
“I’m not arguing. I’m just saying,” Dale told him defensively before spinning on both Glenn and I. “It wouldn’t hurt you to think things through a little more carefully next time, would it?”
“Sorry,” Glenn shrugged. “Got a cool car.”
“Has some good cds too,” I chimed.
“Nice to know you put us at risk for some cheap music,” replied Shane unnecessarily.
I opened my mouth, ready to fire back—
A rumbling could be heard from a distance. Amy rushed forward, shielding her eyes from the sun, a desperate look on her face. “Is that them? Where’s Andrea?” She turned toward me suddenly. “Is she okay?”
“She’s okay, Amy. We just had to take two cars, s’all.” I reassured.
We squinted against the glare. In the distance, a white truck was rapidly approaching.
“That’s not our van,” observed Shane lowly.
Obviously. I didn’t spare him a glance. I only stared ahead, hoping everyone except Merle was in that damned van. I knew it was wishful thinking though, that man was like a fucking cockroach.
In my peripheral, I saw Glenn glancing between Shane and I awkwardly. “Yeah, um, we had to leave it behind. Found a bigger truck though.”
Maybe I should mention the fact that Rick Grimes was driving the truck and that his partner was alive but my stubbornness kept me silent. And it was only at this thought that a memory resurfaced in my brain.
“Did you see Rick?” I asked quietly, observing Lori and Carl from where I sat on the rock. The pain in my thigh had dulled just a bit.
Shane glanced up from my leg, looking through his eyelashes briefly before quickly directing his gaze down again. He continued to wrap gauze around my wound.
“I did,” he said hoarsely. I waited with bated breath, but he said nothing more.
“Did they transfer him to Atlanta General?” I asked, not sure I even wanted to know the answer. The horrific sight of the dead on the highway was seared into my brain. The screams stopped hours ago; now all that could be heard was silence and a faint growling from the deserted highway.
“He’s gone,” Shane stated stiffly.
“He’s…?”
“Dead.”
I stared over at little Carl Grimes who sat next to his mother silently, observing how to light a small log fire. A lump formed in my throat, but I cleared it with a sniffle. There was no going back to the way it was before. I had to toughen up and accept it.
“Okay,” I lamented, forcing the grief back into the depths of my mind.
Shane finally looked up, brown eyes looking intensely into my own. “Okay.”
Hours later, I sat alone, like I did most nights I couldn't sleep, legs pulled up to my chest and staring at the dark outline of the city. It was brighter than usual this night, a full moon hanging high over our heads.
I traced each building I could see, wondering if Merle was atop one of them, cursing each of us to hell.
This evening was... eventful, to say the least. The Grimes family reunion went as expected, full of tears and embracing. I had to look away after a few seconds, feeling that stupid guilt churn in my gut, especially when Lori kissed Rick on the crown of his head.
And then I saw Shane, acting stranger than usual, a forced smile on his face after the shock of seeing Rick had worn off. He'd glanced at me the second it had processed in his brain who was driving the van, a mixture of shock and something else behind those brown eyes.
I imagined he felt betrayed I hadn't spilled it to him as soon as Glenn parked the car. Maybe it was a bit petty but his behavior towards me was setting me off. We hadn't worked so hard to make a living, just for a misunderstanding to destroy the bond we had.
I scoffed at the thought, glaring at the dirt.
Slow footsteps in the grass crunched behind me and I curled my fingers around my knife.
"'You barely got them out?'" I said monotonously. At the campfire just about two hours ago, Rick had expressed his undying gratitude to Shane. After Shane explicitly pointed out that he'd saved them. He was the reason the Grimes family was whole again.
I heard a sigh and Shane rounded the corner, his eyes meeting mine for the first time since last night. "It was a lot to explain."
"We had time," I pushed a little stone I found in the trunk around. "I'm not asking for credit. I would do what I did without hesitation if I had to again. But you haven't acknowledged me once since last night."
It was silent. I refused to look back up, tired of his mood swings.
"I...I haven't been fair to you," said Shane quietly. "I'm sorry. I just-- I've been working through some things. Feelings. You didn't deserve the way I'd been treating you."
I hated that confrontation made me overly emotional. I tried to swallow down the sudden lump in my throat. That's the thing-- maybe I did deserve it.
I wanted to say something, speak up for myself, maybe yell at him for giving me such a goddamn headache. But the lump in my throat kept me painstakingly silent.
“…Daphne?” Shane asked very quietly. It was barely a murmur, but my trained ears caught it.
I cleared my throat and whispered, “okay.” Outrageously angry at myself for not finding the strength to give him a piece of my mind.
It was silent for a few long moments.
“I’ll..." He cleared his throat and puffed out his chest a bit. "I'll take the night shift. You go get some rest. You’ve had a long day, Lara Croft,” he tried to joke awkwardly. I didn't laugh, so conflicted on my feelings for him.
On one hand, he’s the man who has been with me since before the fall and even through it. We’ve been forced to fight and survive together. Fight for each other. Other than Glenn, he’s the only friend I’ve got.
But god we fucked it up so bad last night. I fucked it up. I could sense his apology was sincere and life was too goddamn short to hold onto grudges.
And my back was starting to kill me after getting smacked around by Glenn's stolen car.
“Thanks,” I whispered, accepting his offer and hopping off the jeep. I looked at his fluffy brown hair and his eyes that were suddenly much lighter than they had been in all day, despite the darkness of the night.
The anger was still there, simmering and bubbling in the pits of my stomach, but with one deep sigh, I spun on my heel and made my way to Glenn and my tent, deciding to just deal with it tomorrow--
A whisper traveled across the path.
"For what it's worth, it's always been you."
I froze, straining my ears to convince myself I hadn't just made it up.
"I don't wanna fight. But it's your call. Daphne, I need you... and-and I'll take you however I can have you, Ayala."
An even larger lump formed in the base of my throat. My lungs burned furiously and I realized I'd been holding my breath all this time. I willed myself to respond.
"I need..."
What did I need?
I frowned in confusion. My heart was telling me one thing, but my brain was convincing me of another. There's no reason to deny myself this attention, this man who has clearly pined after me for so long. And because of my silly crush on Rick Grimes, I'd never given him the time of day.
Now Rick's back and I have to co-exist with his family.
I turned my head to glance at him over my shoulder. He was standing by the jeep still, a hand on his holster and another scratching at his scruff.
Maybe... I should've given Shane Walsh a chance so long before the world went to absolute shit.
Maybe... maybe I can give him a chance now.
My stomach turned with the possibility of just allowing myself to be loved. But my anger very much still brewed silently.
"I need time," I said honestly. I forced a small smile. Not a yes, but certainly not a no.
A puff of air left his lips, I heard it even from this distance away.. It was full of a flattering sort of relief and I found myself shocked that my ears began to tinge with heat.
Spinning away before he could say anything else to fluster or anger me further, I rushed back to my tent, that tight lipped smile slipping into an easier one.
The next morning, I woke up earlier than I expected, my anxiety at an all time high.
Glenn was still snoring on his side of the tent, flat on his back and his mouth hanging open just a little.
I took the opportunity to change into a fresh set of clothes and brush my teeth quickly before trekking into a part of the woods I'd discovered a week ago. It wasn't too far, a few minutes into the trees, but far enough to be able to take a breath of air without someone lurking about.
The trek had a greater purpose though; within its bushes, a patch of blueberries grew untouched. I'd been going back to check on it every morning and now, I was hoping it was ready enough for picking. The thought of surprisingly Carol and Sophia with some jam put a little pep in my step.
So I began my slow search, carefully inspecting each berry to make sure they were edible.
My peace was interrupted sooner than I expected. There was a major scuffling within the trees and my heart leaped to my throat, freezing in place as I tried to calculate who it was coming from and where.
I was hunched over, ready to leap and attack a walker if need be. The footsteps got louder and I steadied the grip on my weapon.
"Merle was a danger to us all," I heard Shane's voice travel across the trees. My heart jumped to my throat. I'd been avoiding the thought of him since I woke up.
"You don't know what you're talking about," grumbled the voice of Daryl Dixon. Through the low bush, I saw a group of three approaching.
I held my breath, surprised Daryl hadn't throttled Rick already.
"What I did was not on a whim," said Rick. "Merle does not work and play well with others."
“He’s my brother,” Daryl insisted, more angry than I had ever seen him. Maybe, he did throttle him. Shane must've pulled him off because there was red marks from a struggle on his neck.
My cheeks burned, my heart stupidly fluttering just because I'd finally come to terms with allowing myself to feel something for him. I realized a tiny smile started spreading across my cheeks and quickly shut that shit down. I glared at the ground to gather my bearings.
Now was not the time for girly high school shit.
Shane shook his head. “I understand that this is difficult but—“
“No, you don’t understand. Y’all don’t have a brother here!” Daryl threw his hand up and began to storm away.
“I do, Daryl. I do.” Rick said. Daryl turned around with a sneer, and Rick glanced back at Shane fondly.
I became confused when Shane’s face twisted into an uncomfortable expression, more of a grimace than a brotherly smile, a tense nod given to Rick in return.
gotta be honest with you folks... there's only one scene in the next chapter that's been holding me back for literal months because i cannot get the dialogue down. fml it's about to get posted as is
