Stars in your Eyes

they/them or she/her, Libra, INFP. Smile! It makes you look even more beautiful! Icon by Shadegdi!!!!!

[unnonexistence]

welcome to Mealtimes With Executive Dysfunction, please have a look at our menu:

leftovers from the last time you had a Real Actual Meal (you lucky bastard)

leftovers from the last time you had a Real Actual Meal (you lucky bastard), except they aren’t actually there anymore because you ate them for lunch

staring into the fridge and whining

plain rice

tuna straight from the can

tuna ON TOP OF PLAIN RICE WHAAAAAAT *air horn noises*

something that’s probably gone bad a little but you don’t have the energy to care

something you actually like but you’re too tired to cook it properly

something you hate but it’s still slightly better than all the other options

canned soup

cheese???????

peanut??? butter?????????????

guilt about eating canned soup for the 6th time this week

oh thank god i have vegetables in the freezer 

the fresh vegetables you accidentally left to rot because preparing them was too much effort

the easiest & least appetizing of 5 ways you know how to cook eggs

12 different snack foods over a period of 5 hours

[criminaljustish]

- not eating anything at all for the next seven hours because you couldn’t decide between any of the above, so you gave up and now you have a headache

[sleepygaymerdisease]

Frantically flipping through a US history textbook wh…wheres his miku binder

[teenagerposts]

100 level course prof: Attendance is mandatory, no phones allowed, 12 hours of homework/week, also we have 5 exams and one is in 9 days

500 level course prof: I illegally downloaded the texbook, I’ll send you the link. text me if you need anything. Do you guys wanna go kayaking?

[lesbiansinthegarden]

FYI

100 level course prof: Usually an adjunct. Very smol and new to teaching. Lives with dept head up their butt and double checking everything they do

500 level course prof: Is presumed to be competent and is left alone to become the true agent of chaos all teachers yearn to be

[gardenforsparrows]

500 level also has tenure and can do whatever they want with little to no consequences

[wormofmouth]

also 100 level course: 250 students, at 8:30 AM bc the department is required to schedule at least one class in that timeslot 500 level course: 5 students, a once-a-week four-hour-long shitshow in a coat closet that the prof is fond of

[someplanetelse]

“a once-a-week four-hour-long shitshow in a coat closet that the prof is fond of “

i´m shaking…

[dogtheories]

oh geez this pic uncropped gives off an energy

[dogtheories]

someone tagged this as fitzroy and i hate to say it but theyre right 

[western-woods]

[rattle-my-stars]

[mabelsguidetolife]

i love how joyfully powerful she obviously feels the second they hand her the sword because that’s what i would do if given a cool weapon

[love-roni]

psychological violence is violence.

[ke5trel-deactivated20211114]

[spookcataloger]

[silly-slacker-person]

[erainab]

[orange-twilight]

i am shook to my goddamn CORE. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

[hashtagloveloses]

peak LGBT ally is robert pattinson and taylor lautner kissing each other so that kristen stewart didn’t have to be straight live on TV

[the-incedible-sulk]

OKAY BUT LOOK AT HER FACE! LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS THAT HES NOT MAKING HER GO THROUGH WITH WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT

The movies might have sucked, but the actors have redeeming qualities

[donnasweettttttttt]

every single thing robert pattinson ever does is intentionally genetically engineered to make stephenie meyer’s mormon blood boil hot enough for her to feel the constant neverending pain he experienced having to make and promote her movies for all those years. this is more than lgbt allyship. this is revenge.

[lubricates]

SORRY GIRLS

[swordscomic]

Dragons in the Swords universe

[thosedamnsmoshkids]

hi what the actual FUCK does THIS ONE MEAN

[melxncholymermxid]

Bautista said “say it with your chest”

[azcrowleyfell]

For those who may not know, Dave Bautista is the (former) WWE wrestler Batista

He also plays this gay-ass autistic alien:

He also posted this delightful tweet in response to some homophobic Catholic bullshit:

And he’s been very openly anti-Trump:

https://popculture.com/celebrity/news/dave-bautista-controversial-donald-trump-tweet-divides-fans-wwe-marvel-guardians-star/

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[scarecrowqueen]

This dude took one look at homophobia, bigotry, and toxic masculinity and said ‘fuck that’ and then crushed them all with his enormous biceps and I think that was very excellent of him.

[tygermama]

He looks like he gives great hugs

[cartoonnetworkhistory]

cartoon network commercial from 2004

[thefloatingstone]

lol so anyway it’s basically canon. Johnny and Jack said so.

[rainbow-rebel]

[a-common-haitian-name]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[royal-quirk]

Why is this really cute? (◕ヮ◕ヽ) their aesthetics compliment each other so well

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

This is the forbidden reboot couple we deserved

[azyin]

im horny but like horny to cuddle

[alolanfloatzel]

you’re lonely

[stone-elm]

[coolhiroaki]

sick of “scottish independence” this and “irish reunification” that

theres 3 of us and 1 of england

i say we just kick the english out the uk

[systlin]

Ireland, Scotland, and Wales kick England out and join the UK as the United Celtic Nations.

[king-ghidorah]

We can do this folks we can even steal some of france

[lou-the-naga-queen]

Mate the north west is included, I’m up for that!!

[ashfae]

God I wish this were a legit option. Pretty please?

Look I’m sorry England, happy to take as many of you as will come, just can’t stand any more of Westminster or the Tories.

[complaintificate]

Alternate plan

[teacup-crow]

DERRYLONDON killed me 😂

[insomniac-arrest]

reasons I’ve seen people staying on tumblr:

don’t understand twitter

don’t understand twitter

posts are in chronological order

spite

no other website has the same ambiance of gothic confusion and unrelatable obtuse content

they are a hapless pornbot who knows not of the end coming for their quivering female presenting nipples

mega spite

 like normal spite but you’re posting dick pics before The End

Direct Contact with the Memes

god, wht the fuk even is twitter

they tried to leave but woke up again on tumblr like it’s the Groundhog’s Day movie

[insomniac-arrest]

More reasons:

tumblr allows us to post in any format medium we choose (image, long text post, sound, or video)

shitposting just isn’t the fking same anywhere else

like some sort of ancient slumbering giant this is where we have laid for many a century and Will Not Get Up Again (aka can’t be bothered)

[cityelf]

This is the only godforsaken place I can have an open online presence where my fucking family haven’t managed to find me so you can pry it from my cold, dead, nippleless hands

[running-with-toast]

my tumblr dashboard is like a glass-bottom boat. I’ve curated it to the point that most of the time it’s smooth sailing, I see cool fish sometimes. And then sometimes, hundreds of meters down, I catch a tip of the fin of something really fucking weird, and then it’s gone again. Can’t get such a uniquely haunting experience like that anywhere else.

[ok-dingo]

the soldier from TF2 says a lot of goofy stuff but honestly “if God had wanted you to live he would not have created me” is a pretty raw fucking line

[dikubutto]

Scouts “grass grows, birds fly and brother. I hurt people” was pretty sensational

[yahenni]

I think the top contender for me is

“Some people thing they can outsmart me. Maybe… maybe…

I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.”

[noobtheloser]

I couldn’t sleep so I made this. 

[randomslasher]

This is literally one of my favorite posts ever and every time it gets me. The little smile at the end? Groggnar’s sincerity and earnestness when he says “You’re gonna be okay.” I just. I don’t know how or why but this hits my feels every single time i see it. ty op

[thetenderpassion]

[crtter]