[cultofcreatures]

[cultofcreatures]

they’re watching…. they’re waiting….

[cultofcreatures]

i am always so taken with how much beauty there is all around us at any given moment. we could be living in heaven and yet the powers that be insist that they need to make life hell.

[cultofcreatures]

[cultofcreatures]

outside in

[cultofcreatures]

so tired

[cultofcreatures]

dreaming of something better is better when we’re together

[aziidaa]

the backrooms, inspired by teun hock “Untitled, 2000”

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

[cheaphalloweencostume]

oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed

[cheaphalloweencostume]

theres a lot of people on this website who dont realize their dad is a gnome

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[captain-price-returns]

[beesmygod]

HARMFUL GAY STEREOTYPES EMBODIED BY MOHG

lives in sewer

kidnaps children actually he was cleared of this one

blood magic

[hexdrake]

never stops being funny

[podcastwizard]

chuck tingle accidentally used an AI image on his latest cover and not only did he fix the mistake but he made me think the phrase “the skeleton has been replaced out of an abundance of caution,” for which i am eternally grateful

[grungekitty-77]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[grungekitty-77]

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

[dovahbeat]

Adding my 2 cents worth that I learned from my time in DBT.

Guilt and shame are NOT the same emotion!

Theyre very similar, but theres a key difference. Guilt comes from an internal source and shame external.

What do I mean? Well, when you feel guilt, its because you've betrayed your own morals. Youve done something you view as bad, and you feel guilty for defying your own moral code.

Shame, however, is external and comes from our individual societies, and has nothing to do with moral codes (in the way guilt does). Shame comes from how OTHERS perceive you. You go to school, and wet yourself, you feel shame because the other kids point and laugh, they think less of you now. You may know it was an accident, and accidents happen, and thats okay! But because other people now think less of you for it, you feel bad.

Not taking away the points of OP, i still agree, just think it might be useful to distinguish between the two emotions because they are not the same.

[larkandkatydid]

One thing I’ve become a real extremist about is little girl’s clothing and hair styles because if your kid can’t get her hair wet, hang upside down, climb over a fence or run full out in the outfit/hair she is currently wearing then why not? And the answer better be both extremely fucking good and describe something temporary.

[poodletrain]

Hope you don't mind a story that also made me extremist about this issue.

Took my friends daughter (2.5yrs) to the park. Dressed her in practical clothing that's ok to get stained, brought an extra change of clothing. She sat in the mud at the water bank and played with rocks and mud. A little girl came over, couldn't be more than 3yrs. She was looking longingly at my friend's daughter. She has her hair in a perfect style and she's wearing a pretty dress with white socks and dressy shoes. The parents say "Sweetie don't go into the mud, you'll get your dress dirty" and pull her away, while giving me a judgmental look as they see the kid in my charge covered in mud and throwing rocks into the water. It felt really weird, like we saw eachother as aliens with completely different ideas on how to raise children. When my friends daughter was done playing, changed her into clean clothing and went back home. She had a lot of fun at the park and a day full of nature and play. The other little girl kept her dress clean.

[do-not-u-dare]

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????